BALL ROOM ETIQUETTE.
FOR THE GUEST.
As in every other case where hospitality is extended to you by
invitation, you must send your answer as soon as possible, accepting or
declining the civility.
In preparing a costume for a ball, choose something very light. Heavy,
dark silks are out of place in a ball room, and black should be worn in
no material but lace. For a married lady, rich silk of some light color,
trimmed with flowers, lace, or tulle; white silk plain, or lace over
satin, make an exquisite toilette. Jewels are perfectly appropriate;
also feathers in the _coiffure_.
For the young lady, pure white or light colors should be worn, and the
most appropriate dress is of some thin material made over silk, white,
or the same color as the outer dress. Satin or velvet are entirely out
of place on a young lady. Let the _coiffure_ be of flowers or ribbons,
never feathers, and but very little jewelry is becoming to an unmarried
lady. All ladies must wear boots or slippers of satin, white, black, or
the color of the dress. White are the most appropriate; black, the most
becoming to the foot. White kid gloves, full trimmed, a fine lace
trimmed handkerchief, and a fan, are indispensable. Be very careful,
when dressing for a ball, that the hair is firmly fastened, and the
_coiffure_ properly adjusted. Nothing is more annoying than to have the
hair loosen or the head-dress fall off in a crowded ball room.
Your first duty, upon entering the room, is to speak to your hostess.
After a few words of greeting, turn to the other guests.
At a private ball, no lady will refuse an introduction to a gentleman.
It is an insult to her hostess, implying that her guests are _not
gentlemen_. It is optional with the lady whether to continue or drop the
acquaintance after the ball is over, but for that evening, however
disagreeable, etiquette requires her to accept him for _one_ dance, if
she is disengaged, and her hostess requests it. At a public ball, it is
safest to decline all introductions made by the master of ceremonies,
though, as before, such acquaintances are not binding after the evening
is over.
Be very careful how you refuse to dance with a gentleman. A prior
engagement will, of course, excuse you, but if you plead fatigue, or
really feel it, do not dance the set with another gentleman; it is most
insulting, though sometimes done. On the other hand, be careful that you
do not engage yourself twice for the same quadrille. In a polka or
valse, you may do this, saying, "I will dance the second half with you,
but have a prior engagement for the first." Then, after a few rounds
with your first partner, say to him that you are engaged for the
remainder of the dance, resume your seat, and your second partner will
seek you.
Let your manner in a ball room be quiet. It looks very badly to see a
lady endeavoring to attract attention by her boisterous manner, loud
talking, or over-active dancing. Do not drag through dances as if you
found them wearisome; it is an insult to your partner, but while you are
cheerful and animated, be lady-like and dignified in your deportment.
At the end of each dance, your partner will offer his arm, and conduct
you to a seat; then bow, and release him from further attendance, as he
may be engaged for the next dance.
When invited to dance, hand your ball card to the gentleman, who will
put his name in one of the vacant places.
If you wish to go to the supper-room, accept the invitation that will be
made, after the dances whilst it is open, but do not remain there long.
You may be keeping your escort from other engagements.
If you are accompanied by a gentleman, besides your father or brother,
remember he has the right to the first dance, and also will expect to
take you in to supper. Do not let any one else interfere with his
privilege.
If you wish, during the evening, to go to the dressing-room to arrange
any part of your dress, request the gentleman with whom you are dancing
to escort you there. He will wait for you at the door, and take you back
to the ball-room. Do not detain him any longer than is necessary. Never
leave the ball room, for any such purpose, alone, as there are always
gentlemen near and round the door, and it looks very badly to see a
lady, unattended, going through a crowd of gentlemen.
It is best at a ball, to dance only every other dance, as over-fatigue,
and probably a flushed face, will follow too much dancing. Decline the
intermediate ones, on the plea of fatigue, or fear of fatigue.
Never go into the supper-room with the same gentleman twice. You may go
more than once, if you wish for an ice or glass of water, (surely no
lady wants two or three _suppers_,) but do not tax the same gentleman
more than once, even if he invites you after each dance.
No lady of taste will carry on a flirtation in a ball room, so as to
attract remark. Be careful, unless you wish your name coupled with his,
how you dance too often with the same gentleman.
If you are so unfortunate as, forgetting a prior engagement, to engage
yourself to two gentlemen for the same dance, decline dancing it
altogether, or you will surely offend one of them.
Never press forward to take the lead in a quadrille, and if others, not
understanding the figures, make confusion, try to get through without
remark. It is useless to attempt to teach them, as the music, and other
sets, will finish the figure long before you can teach and dance it.
Keep your temper, refrain from all remark, and endeavor to make your
partner forget, in your cheerful conversation, the annoyances of the
dance.
There is much that is exhilarating in the atmosphere of a ball room. The
light, music, company, and even dancing itself, are all conducive to
high spirits; be careful that this flow of spirits does not lead you
into hoydenism and rudeness. Guard your actions and your tongue, that
you may leave the room as quietly and gracefully as you enter it.
Avoid confidential conversation in a ball room. It is out of season, and
in excessively bad taste.
Be modest and reserved, but avoid bashfulness. It looks like a
school-girl, and is invariably awkward.
Never allow your partner, though he may be your most intimate friend, to
converse in a low tone, or in any way assume a confidential or
lover-like air at a ball. It is in excessively bad taste, and gives
annoyance frequently, as others suppose such low-toned remarks may refer
to them.
Dance as others do. It has a very absurd look to take every step with
dancing-school accuracy, and your partner will be the first one to
notice it. A quadrille takes no more steps than a graceful walk.
Never stand up to dance in a quadrille, unless you are perfectly
familiar with the figures, depending upon your partner to lead you
through. You will probably cause utter confusion in the set, annoy the
others forming it, and make yourself appear absurd.
No young lady should go to a ball, without the protection of a married
lady, or an elderly gentleman.
Never cross a ball room alone.
Never remain in a ball room until all the company have left it, or even
until the last set. It is ill-bred, and looks as if you were
unaccustomed to such pleasures, and so desirous to prolong each one.
Leave while there are still two or three sets to be danced. Do not
accept any invitation for these late dances, as the gentleman who
invites you may find out your absence too late to take another partner,
and you will thus deprive him of the pleasure of dancing.