CONDUCT IN THE STREET.
A lady's conduct is never so entirely at the mercy of critics, because
never so public, as when she is in the street. Her dress, carriage,
walk, will all be exposed to notice; every passer-by will look at her,
if it is only for one glance; every unlady-like action will be marked;
and in no position will a dignified, lady-like deportment be more
certain to command respect.
Let me start with you upon your promenade, my friend, and I will soon
decide your place upon the list of well-bred ladies.
First, your dress. Not that scarlet shawl, with a green dress, I beg,
and--oh! spare my nerves!--you are not so insane as to put on a blue
bonnet. That's right. If you wish to wear the green dress, don a black
shawl, and--that white bonnet will do very well. One rule you must lay
down with regard to a walking dress. It must never be conspicuous. Let
the material be rich, if you will; the set of each garment faultless;
have collar and sleeves snowy white, and wear neatly-fitting, whole,
clean gloves and boots. Every detail may be scrupulously attended to,
but let the whole effect be quiet and modest. Wear a little of one
bright color, if you will, but not more than one. Let each part of the
dress harmonize with all the rest; avoid the _extreme_ of fashion, and
let the dress suit _you_. If you are short and plump, do not wear
flounces, because they are fashionable, and avoid large plaids, even if
they are the very latest style. If tall and slight, do not add to the
length of your figure by long stripes, a little mantilla, and a
caricature of a bonnet, with long, streaming ribbons. A large, round
face will never look well, staring from a tiny, delicate bonnet; nor
will a long, thin one stand the test much better. Wear what is becoming
to _yourself_, and only bow to fashion enough to avoid eccentricity. To
have everything in the _extreme_ of fashion, is a sure mark of
vulgarity.
Wear no jewelry in the street excepting your watch and brooch. Jewelry
is only suited for full evening dress, when all the other details unite
to set it off. If it is real, it is too valuable to risk losing in the
street, and if it is _not_ real, no lady should wear it. Mock jewelry is
utterly detestable.
What are you doing? Sucking the head of your parasol! Have you not
breakfasted? Take that piece of ivory from your mouth! To suck it is
unlady-like, and let me tell you, excessively unbecoming. Rosy lips and
pearly teeth can be put to a better use.
Why did you not dress before you came out? It is a mark of ill-breeding
to draw your gloves on in the street. Now your bonnet-strings, and
now--your collar! Pray arrange your dress before you leave the house!
Nothing looks worse than to see a lady fussing over her dress in the
street. Take a few moments more in your dressing-room, and so arrange
your dress that you will not need to think of it again whilst you are
out.
Do not walk so fast! you are not chasing anybody! Walk slowly,
gracefully! Oh, do not drag one foot after the other as if you were fast
asleep--set down the foot lightly, but at the same time firmly; now,
carry your head up, not so; you hang it down as if you feared to look
any one in the face! Nay, that is the other extreme! Now you look like a
drill-major, on parade! So! that is the medium. Erect, yet, at the same
time, easy and elegant.
Now, my friend, do not swing your arms. You don't know what to do with
them? Your parasol takes one hand; hold your dress up a little with the
other. Not so! No lady should raise her dress above the ankle.
Take care! don't drag your dress through that mud-puddle! Worse and
worse! If you take hold of your dress on both sides, in that way, and
drag it up so high, you will be set down as a raw country girl. So.
Raise it just above the boot, all round, easily, letting it fall again
in the old folds. Don't shake it down; it will fall back of itself.
Stop! don't you see there is a carriage coming? Do you want to be thrown
down by the horses? You can run across? Very lady-like indeed! Surely
nothing can be more ungraceful than to see a lady shuffle and run across
a street. Wait until the way is clear and then walk slowly across.
Do not try to raise your skirts. It is better to soil them. (You were
very foolish to wear white skirts this muddy day.) _They_ are easily
washed, and you cannot raise _all_. You will surely be awkward in making
the attempt, and probably fail, in spite of your efforts. True, they
will be badly soiled, and you expose this when you raise the dress, but
the state of the streets must be seen by all who see your share of the
dirt, and they will apologize for your untidy appearance in a language
distinctly understood.
Don't hold your parasol so close to your face, nor so low down. You
cannot see your way clear, and you will run against somebody. Always
hold an umbrella or parasol so that it will clear your bonnet, and leave
the space before your face open, that you may see your way clearly.
If you are ever caught in a shower, and meet a gentleman friend who
offers an umbrella, accept it, if he will accompany you to your
destination; but do not deprive him of it, if he is not able to join
you. Should he insist, return it to his house or store the instant you
reach home, with a note of thanks. If a stranger offers you the same
services, decline it positively, but courteously, at the same time
thanking him.
Never stop to speak to a gentleman in the street. If you have anything
important to say to him, allow him to join and walk with you, but do not
stop. It is best to follow the same rule with regard to ladies, and
either walk with them or invite them to walk with you, instead of
stopping to talk.
A lady who desires to pay strict regard to etiquette, will not stop to
gaze in at the shop windows. It looks countrified. If she is alone, it
looks as if she were waiting for some one; and if she is not alone, she
is victimizing some one else, to satisfy her curiosity.
Remember that in meeting your gentlemen friends it is your duty to speak
first, therefore do not cut them by waiting to be recognized. Be sure,
however, that they see you before you bow, or you place yourself in the
awkward position of having your bow pass, unreturned.
You are not expected to recognize any friend on the opposite side of the
street. Even if you see them, do not bow.
Avoid "cutting" any one. It is a small way of showing spite, and lowers
you more than your enemy. If you wish to avoid any further intercourse
bow, coldly and gravely, but do not look at any one, to whom you are in
the habit of bowing, and pass without bowing. If you do this, they may
flatter themselves that they were really unrecognized, but a distant,
cold bow will show them that you speak from civility only, not from
friendship.
In the street a lady takes the arm of a relative, her affianced lover,
or husband, but of no other gentleman, unless the streets are slippery,
or in the evening.
When a lady walks with two gentlemen, she should endeavor to divide her
attention and remarks equally between them.
If you do stop in the street, draw near the walls, that you may not keep
others from passing.
Loud talking and laughing in the street are excessively vulgar. Not only
this, but they expose a lady to the most severe misconstruction. Let
your conduct be modest and quiet.
If a gentleman, although a stranger, offers his hand to assist you in
leaving a carriage, omnibus, or to aid you in crossing where it is wet
or muddy, accept his civility, thank him, bow and pass on.
If you wish to take an omnibus or car, see that it is not already full.
If it is, do not get in. You will annoy others, and be uncomfortable
yourself.
It is best to carry change to pay car or omnibus fare, as you keep
others waiting whilst the driver is making change, and it is apt to fall
into the straw when passing from one hand to another.
If a gentleman gives you his seat, hands your fare, or offers you any
such attention, _thank him_. It is not countrified, it is lady-like. If
you do not speak, bow.
Be careful not to be alone in the streets after night fall. It exposes
you to insult. If you are obliged to go out, have a servant, or another
lady, if you cannot procure the escort of a gentleman, which is, of
course, the best.
Walk slowly, do not turn your head to the right or left, unless you wish
to walk that way, and avoid any gesture or word that will attract
attention.
Never look back! It is excessively ill-bred.
Make no remarks upon those who pass you, while there is even a
possibility that they may hear you.
Never stare at any one, even if they have peculiarities, which make them
objects of remark.
In taking your place in an omnibus or car, do so quietly, and then sit
perfectly still. Do not change your place or move restlessly. Make room
for others if you see that the opposite side is full.
If you walk with a gentleman, when he reaches your door invite him in,
but if he declines, do not urge him. If you are returning from a ball or
party, and the hour is a very late (or early) one, you are not bound in
politeness to invite your escort to enter; the hour will be your apology
for omitting the ceremony.