TABLE ETIQUETTE.
In order to appear perfectly well-bred at table when in company, or in
public, as at a hotel, you must pay attention, three times a day, to the
points of table etiquette. If you neglect these little details at home
and in private, they will be performed awkwardly and with an air of
restraint when you are in company. By making them habitual, they will
become natural, and appear easily, and sit gracefully upon you.
Even when eating entirely alone, observe these little details, thus
making the most finished and elegant manners perfectly familiar, and
thus avoiding the stiff, awkward air you will wear if you keep your
politeness only for company, when you will be constantly apprehensive of
doing wrong.
At breakfast or tea, if your seat is at the head of the table, you must,
before taking anything upon your own plate, fill a cup for each one of
the family, and pass them round, being careful to suit each one in the
preparation of the cup, that none may return to you for more tea, water,
sugar, or milk. If you have a visitor, pass the cup with the tea or
coffee alone in it, and hand with the cup the sugar bowl and cream
pitcher, that these may be added in the quantity preferred.
After all the cups have been filled and passed round, you may take the
bread, butter, and other food upon your own plate. Train your children,
so that they will pass these things to you as soon as they see you are
ready to receive them.
If you are yourself at the side of the table, pass the bread, butter,
etc., to the lady at the head, when you see that she has sent the cups
from the waiter before her, to those seated at the table.
If you occupy the place of head of the table, you must watch the cups,
offer to fill them when empty, and also see that each one of the family
is well helped to the other articles upon the table.
Avoid making any noise in eating, even if each meal is eaten in solitary
state. It is a disgusting habit, and one not easily cured if once
contracted, to make any noise with the lips when eating.
Never put large pieces of food into your mouth. Eat slowly, and cut your
food into small pieces before putting it into your mouth.
Use your fork, or spoon, never your knife, to put your food into your
mouth. At dinner, hold in your left hand a piece of bread, and raise
your meat or vegetables with the fork, holding the bread to prevent the
pieces slipping from the plate.
If you are asked at table what part of the meat you prefer, name your
favorite piece, but do not give such information unless asked to do so.
To point out any especial part of a dish, and ask for it, is ill-bred.
To answer, when asked to select a part, that "it is a matter of
indifference," or, "I can eat any part," is annoying to the carver, as
he cares less than yourself certainly, and would prefer to give you the
piece you really like best.
Do not pour coffee or tea from your cup into your saucer, and do not
blow either these or soup. Wait until they cool.
Use the butter-knife, salt-spoon, and sugar-tongs as scrupulously when
alone, as if a room full of people were watching you. Otherwise, you may
neglect to do so when the omission will mortify you.
Never put poultry or fish bones, or the stones of fruit, upon the
table-cloth, but place them on the edge of your plate.
Do not begin to eat until others at the table are ready to commence too.
Sit easily in your chair, neither too near the table, nor too far from
it, and avoid such tricks as putting your arms on the table, leaning
back lazily in your chair, or playing with your knife, fork, or spoon.
Never raise your voice, when speaking, any higher than is necessary. The
clear articulation and distinct pronunciation of each word, will make a
low tone more agreeable and more easily understood, than the loudest
tone, if the speech is rapid or indistinct.
Never pass your plate with the knife or fork upon it, and when you pass
your cup, put the spoon in the saucer.
Never pile up the food on your plate. It looks as if you feared it would
all be gone before you could be helped again, and it will certainly
make your attempts to cut the food awkward, if your plate is crowded.
If there is a delicacy upon the table, partake of it sparingly, and
never help yourself to it a second time.
If you wish to cough, or use your handkerchief, rise from the table, and
leave the room. If you have not time to do this, cover your mouth, and
turn your head aside from the table, and perform the disagreeable
necessity as rapidly and quietly as possible.
Avoid gesticulation at the table. Indeed, a well-bred lady will never
gesticulate, but converse quietly, letting the expression and animation
of her features give force to her words.
Never, when at the home table, leave it until the other members of the
family are also ready to rise.