We held our annywal Crismus Bankwet larst Satterday. Our principel
Toast of course was, "Success to the Grand Old Copperashun, and may
it flurrish for ewer!" with 3 times 3, and one cheer more for the
bewtifool LADY MARESS, and may she flurrish for ewer too! Ah, we
Waiters is a gallarnt race and knows our dooty to the fairer and
weaker sects quite as well as ewen Aldermen theirselves. I next
perposed the City Livvery Compnys, in a speech, as BROWN said, as ort
for to be printed and sircculated. I had serttenly given a good deal
of atention to it, and praps shood have dun ewen better if I hadn't
quite forgot ewery word of the werry last part, which, unfortnitly,
was all about the lots of money as they gives away. But I remembred
all about their luvly dinners, and that was naterally more intresting
to my hordience. I was werry much pressed to say which, in my opinion,
of all the Nobel Livvery Cumpnys guv the most nobly scrumpshus Dinners
of 'em all, but I declined, on the ground that it wood naterally cause
a most enormous emount of gelosy, and was of too delicat and xquisit
a natur to be thus publicly discussed. There was werry considerabel
diffrens of opinion about their warious choice wines, but all agreed
in praising them werry hily, but ewen more, the trew libberality with
which they was served, and not poured out so close as to make the pore
Waiter's dooty a thirsty and tanterlising one indeed.
[Illustration]
We drank the Nobel Army of Hotel Keepers, most serttenly not forgettin
the gentlemanly Manager of the truly "Grand," as ewerybody knows as is
anybody, and drank to their great success, for werry ewident reesons.
Young FRANK returned thanks for the Ladies, and, with all the reckless
ordassity of a young feller of forty, was rash enuff to say, as how
as he werrily believed, that if the prinsiple Hotel Keepers was to
hintroduce pretty Gals as Waiters, all us old Fogys, as he rudely
called us, woud have to go and git our seweral livings in a more manly
employment! Of course boys will be boys, so we kindly forgave him,
more specially as he stands six foot one in his stockings, let alone
his boots. However he made up for his bad manners by singing with
his capital voice, his new Song of "_Old Robert the Waiter_" being a
rayther complementary Parody, as he called it, upon "_Old Simon the
Cellerer_," which was receeved with emense aplause. So he gave, as an
arncore, the Waiter's favrite Glee of "_Mynear Van Dunk_," with its
fine conwincing moral against Teetotaling and all such cold rubbish.
BROWN wound up the armony of our truly appy heavening by singing
his new song of, "The LORD MARE leads a nappy life," and we sort our
seweral nupshal couches as happy and contented a lot as his Lordship
hisself, our werry larst drink all round being to the follering
sentiment given out by me as the prowd Chairman: "May all the well
to do in this grand old London of ours enjoy as merry a Crismus as
we have enjoyed to-night, and may they all give a kind thort, and a
liberal stump-up, to all the poor and needy who so badly wants it this
bitter weather." ROBERT.
* * * * *