Now, this is not going to be done as easily as it may seem; and before
it can be done, in my opinion, we shall have to clear our minds from a
serious error, to which we cling with feminist tentacles in order to
indulge the sentiment so passionately clung to by women-reformers of the
mother's right to her child.
You will have noted how strongly I have insisted on illegitimacy being
the sin of the parents--of the mother even more than of the father--and
have refused to use the word in connection with the child. I have done
this, as must already be plain, for a clear reason. I wished to mark the
separation of the child from its parents' sin. I did not do it from a
perverse refusal to accept what is usually accepted. Clearly it is
absurd to brand the child "illegitimate," since it can never be the
fault of any child that its parents brought it into the world. Let us
talk, if you like, of illegitimate mothers, also of illegitimate
fathers, but never again of the illegitimate child. The penalty of the
parents' sin must not be paid by the child. I cannot emphasize this too
often or too strongly.
The child must be saved by special protection.
Now, it seems to be taken for granted by all modern reformers that the
best way to do this and to serve the interests of the child is to make
even closer than it is at present the connection of the mother and the
child, keeping them more certainly together, except in the few cases
when such a course is clearly absolutely impossible, and _under all
circumstances_ regarding the separation of any mother from her baby as
"an exceptional and deplorable necessity."[166:1]
What I have said already will make it abundantly evident that I cannot
accept this view. I feel convinced that it is founded on a feeling of
sentiment for the mother rather than on a desire for justice to the
child. This tendency to confuse two separate issues has been marked in
all the numerous recent discussions of the unmarried mother. I have
heard the strongest indignation expressed by feminist speakers whose
sentiment bubbles from them like a pan of porridge boiling over. "The
child should be brought up in the atmosphere of the mother's love";
"Mother and child should not be separated," this is the opinion repeated
again and again, and _always without qualification as to the character
of the mother_. Even those few workers who realize the situation much
more as it presents itself to me, from the standpoint of the child's
welfare, and therefore advocate the placing of all illegitimately born
children under "authorized protective oversight," yet cling to the
sentiment that it is "best for the child to remain with its mother."
They apprehend the difficulty of the mother's character--or rather want
of character--but they do not take the necessary bold step out of this
net of sentiment, and face the truth that, in many cases, the first and
great enemy from whom those ill-used little ones have to be protected is
their mother.
Unmarried mothers are overwhelmingly preponderant among the frivolous
and weak-willed. This will be an unpopular statement to feminist
sentiment; few women are honest in facing this question, though probably
they do not know that they are dishonest. We women need to be more
careful in accepting the over-hasty view that these illegitimate mothers
in any large numbers are good girls who have been led astray by men.
This view, once held by me in common with most women, I have been
compelled to give up. Seduction cannot, I am sure, be accepted without
very great caution as a common cause for illegitimate births. My
experience has taught me that nervous instability, the result often of
monotonous or too exhausting work, leading quickly to a desire for
excitement and effort to escape dullness, as also love of finery and joy
in receiving presents, are the principal motives that lead girls into
illegal relations. And what I want to make plain is this: a
characterless girl, irresponsible, without care for the future,
drifting, snatching at pleasure, taking the easiest course--this is the
girl who bears a child illegitimately and this is the girl incapable of
becoming a good mother.
This characterless irresponsibility of the average unmarried mother is
known to every social worker. The difficulty is dwelt upon in the
reports of rescue homes and police-workers. I have read many separate
articles which refer to it. "Temperamental instability," as it is
fittingly called, inevitably makes capable motherhood impossible. True,
these unmarried mothers may, and frequently do, "pour out a wealth of
pent-up affection on the child," but often she will do this for
half-an-hour and neglect it for days afterwards. Those who talk here of
the "mother's right to her child" are being misled by sentiment. Women
of the prostitute type, whose love and tears are on the surface, must
not be judged too tenderly as capable of great improvement. The child
may "steady the mother for a time,"[169:1] but the mother will probably
by her carelessness, bad example, helplessness and inefficiency unsteady
the child for life.
And it is this that matters. Yes, matters to you, my readers, and to me
and to us all. The child illegitimately born is to become a future
citizen; and it is not good for society to permit its mother to endanger
its future. We--the other members of Society--must object to such a
possibility, we cannot allow it to be tolerated on any grounds of
sentiment. We object from humane care for the child, but also from
patriotism and enlightened self-interest; for the consequences of the
mother's unguided mistakes in training must fall on someone, and in this
country they fall chiefly on the rate-payers.
I shall not wait to give you the many and overwhelming facts and figures
that I could bring forward in support of these statements. To-day all
the pitiful statistics of illegitimate births are widely known; at least
they are known intellectually, though I doubt their being known
emotionally, which is quite another matter and whips our indifference
into action. Only the workers in the darkest places of our great cities
know how large illegitimacy looms as a factor in the social
disintegration that leads to the prison, to the mad-house, to the
hospitals, to the casual wards, and to the streets. Only the eye of the
scientist can vision in the relation of the unhonored child to its
mother the seed of that evil which one day shall become the dishonor of
the dishonorable man.[170:1]