"Bath?" queried Steve.
"Only during a hot wave," said Skate.
Steve went to the ropes, but he came up smiling, as usual.
"American or European?" asked Steve.
"Neither," said Skate; "Don't you see I'm from Jersey City."
"Going to be with us long?" inquired Steve.
"Say, Bub! you're hellanall on asking questions, now aint you?"
answered Skate; "you just push me into a stall and lock the gate--I'm
tired."
"Front! show this gentleman to 49!" said Skate, side-stepping to
avoid punishment.
Then Sweet William, the Boy Drummer, hopped into the ring for the
next round.
Willie peddles pickles for the fun he gets of it.
It is Willie's joy and delight to get a ginger ale bun on and recite
"'Ostler Joe."
When trained down to 95 flat Willie can get up and beat the clapper
off "Curfew Shall Not Ring To-night."
When Willie gets a strangle hold on "Sheridan's Ride" you can hear
horses galloping outside.
It's the rest of the community getting out of harm's way.
"Any mail?" inquired Willie.
All the mail that Willie ever gets is a postal card from the pickle
factory every two weeks asking him if the people along his route have
all lost their appetites.
"No literature for you," Steve answered.
"Strange," said Willie, "my lady friends are very remiss, aren't
they?"
"Yes; it looks like they were out to drop you behind the piano," said
Steve.
Willie tore off a short rabbit laugh and then inquired what time the
next train left for New York.
The pickle factory expects Willie to make Pocomoke City, Squashtown
Junction and Nubbinsville before next Sunday, so he tossed the train
gag out just to show Steve that he knows there's a place called New
York.
"At 7.45 over the D. L. & Q," said Steve.
"What's the next?" inquired Willie.
"At 8.10 over the H. B. & N.," Steve answered.
"Which gets there first?" Willie asked.
"The engineer," sighed Steve.
"Oh, you droll chap!" said the pickle pusher; "give me some
toothpicks."
Then Sweet William went over to the big window, burrowed into a
chair, stuck his feet up on the brass rail, ate toothpicks and
thought he was _IT_.
When I got back to Steve he was dealing out the cards to a lady from
Reading, Pa., and Kee and Jim had ducked to the billiard room.
Her husband had been up in the air with a bum automobile and when he
came down he was several sections shy.
They found a monkey wrench imbedded in his left shoulder which he
couldn't remember using when he tried to fix the machine.
She was traveling for his health.
"My room is too near the elevator," she informed Steve.
"I can give you a very nice room on the third floor--Front! show the
lady----"
"Same size room?"
"Yes, Madam."
"Same colored carpet on the floor?"
"I believe it has--Front! show the lady----"
"Southern exposure?"
"Yes, Madam, it's at the end of the hall."
"I want a room near the elevator, that's always the way in these
hotels! One can never get just what one wants! At the end of the
hall, indeed!" And with this she gave Steve the Society sting with
both eyes and flounced out.
Steve bit the end off a pen holder and said the rest internally.
Just then a couple of troupers trailed in.
They were with the "Bandit's Bride Co.," and the way had been long
and weary.
"What have you got--double?" asked the villain of the piece.
"Two dollars and up!" said Steve.
"Nothing better?" inquired Low Comedy--he was making a crack but
nobody caught him.
"Four dollars, with bath," Steve suggested.
"Board?" asked the villain.
"Nothing but the sleeps and a fresh cake of soap," said Steve.
"Ring down!" Low Comedy put in; "Why, we lived a whole week in
Pittsburg for less than that."
"You can turn the same trick here if you carry your own coke and
sleep in the Park," said Steve.
"What's the name of this mint?" asked the villain.
Steve told him.
"To the tow-path!" said Barrett Macready; "we're outside the life
lines. We thought it was the Liverwurst Hotel where they throw
things at your appetite for $1 a day, double. To the left, wheel!
Forward, march!" and once more the drama was on its way.
As Low Comedy turned proudly on his heel he threw upon the counter a
printed card.
Steve had it framed and glued to the wall next day.
It read as follows.