Is one that seems to labour in every man's calling but his own, and,
like Robin Goodfellow, does any man's drudgery that will let him. He is
like an ape, that loves to do whatsoever he sees others do, and is
always as busy as a child at play. He is a great undertaker, and
commonly as great an underperformer. His face is like a lawyer's buckram
rag, that has always business in it, and as he trots about his head
travels as fast as his feet. He covets his neighbour's business, and his
own is to meddle, not do. He is very lavish of his advice, and gives it
freely, because it is worth nothing, and he knows not what to do with it
himself. He is a common-barreter for his pleasure, that takes no money,
but pettifogs gratis. He is very inquisitive after every man's
occasions, and charges himself with them like a public notary. He is a
great overseer of State affairs, and can judge as well of them before he
understands the reasons as afterwards. He is excellent at preventing
inconveniences and finding out remedies when 'tis too late; for, like
prophecies, they are never heard of till it is to no purpose. He is a
great reformer, always contriving of expedients, and will press them
with as much earnestness as if himself and every man he meets had power
to impose them on the nation. He is always giving aim to State affairs,
and believes by screwing of his body he can make them shoot which way he
pleases. He inquires into every man's history, and makes his own
commentaries upon it as he pleases to fancy it. He wonderfully affects
to seem full of employments, and borrows men's business only to put on
and appear in, and then returns it back again, only a little worse. He
frequents all public places, and, like a pillar in the old Exchange, is
hung with all men's business, both public and private, and his own is
only to expose them. He dreads nothing so much as to be thought at
leisure, though he is never otherwise; for though he be always doing, he
never does anything.