being shewn my lodgings, to bring and carry letters or messages between
his master and me; and as the situation of all kept ladies is not the
fittest to inspire respect, even to the meanest of mankind, and,
perhaps, less of it from the most ignorant, I could not help observing
that this lad, who was, I suppose, acquainted with my relation to his
master by his fellow servants, used to eye me in that bashful confused
way, more expressive, more moving and readier caught at by our sex,
than any other declarations whatever: my figure had, it seems, struck
him, and modest and innocent as he was, he did not himself know that
the pleasure he took in looking at me was love, or desire; but his
eyes, naturally wanton, and now inflamed with passion, spoke a great
deal more than he durst have imagined they did. Hitherto, indeed, I had
only taken notice of the comeliness of the youth, but without the least
design: my pride alone would have guarded me from a thought that way,
had not Mr. H....’s condescension with my maid, where there was not
half the temptation, in point of person, set me a dangerous example;
but now I began to look on this stripling as every way a delicious
instrument of my designed retaliation upon Mr. H.... of an obligation
for which I should have made a conscience to die in his debt.
In order then to pave the way for the accomplishment of my scheme, for
two or three times that the young fellow came to me with messages, I
managed so, or without affectation to have him admitted to my bed side,
or brought to me at my toilet, where I was dressing; and by carelessly
shewing or letting him, as if without meaning or design, sometimes my
bosom rather more bare than it should be; sometimes my hair, of which I
had a very fine head, in the natural flow of it while combing;
sometimes a neat leg, that had unfortunately slipt its garter, which I
made no scruple of tying before him, easily gave him the impressions
favourable to my purpose, which I could perceive to sparkle in his
eyes, and glow in his cheeks: then certain slight squeezes by the hand,
as I took letters from him, did his business completely.
When I saw him thus moved, and fired for my purpose, I inflamed him yet
more, by asking him several leading questions, such as: “Had he a
mistress?... was she prettier than me?... could he love such a one as I
was?...” and the like; to all which the blushing simpleton answered to
my wish, in a strain of perfect nature, perfect undebauched innocence,
but with all the awkwardness and simplicity of country breeding.
When I thought I had sufficiently ripened him for the laudable point I
had in view, one day that I expected him at a particular hour, I took
care to have the coast clear for the reception I designed him; and, as
I laid it, he came to the dining room door, tapped at it, and, in my
bidding him come in; he did so, and shut the door after him. I desired
him, then, to bolt it on the inside, pretending it would not otherwise
keep shut.
I was then lying at length upon that very couch, the scene of Mr.
H....’s polite joys, in an undress, which was with all the art of
negligence flowing loose, and in a most tempting disorder: no stays, no
hoop..., no incumbrance whatever. On the other hand, he stood at a
little distance, that gave me a full view of a fine featured, shapely,
healthy country lad, breathing the sweets of fresh blooming youth; his
hair, which was of a perfect shining black, played to his face in
natural side curls, and was set out with a smart tuck-up behind; new
buckskin breechs, that, clipping close, shewed the shape of a plump,
well made thigh; white stockings, garter-laced livery, shoulder knot,
altogether composed a figure of pure flesh and blood, and appeared
under no disgrace from the lowness of a dress, to which a certain
spruce neatness seems peculiarly fitted.
I bid him come towards me, and give me his letter, at the same time
throwing down, carelessly, a book I had in my hands. He coloured, and
came within reach of delivering me the letter, which he held out,
awkwardly enough, for me to take, with his eyes rivetted on my bosom,
which was, through the designed disorder of my handkerchief,
sufficiently bare, and rather than hid.
I, smiling in his face, took the letter, and immediately catching hold
of his shirt sleeve, drew him towards me, blushing, and almost
trembling; for surely his extreme bashfulness, and utter inexperience
called for, at least, all the advances to encourage him: his body was
now conveniently inclined toward me, and just softly chucking his
beardless chin, I asked him: “If he was afraid of a lady?...” and with
that took, and carrying his hands to my breasts, I press it tenderly to
them. They were now finely furnished, and raised in flesh, so that,
panting with desire, they rose and fell, in quick heaves, under his
touch: at this, the boy’s eyes began to lighten with all the fires of
inflamed nature, and his cheeks flushed with a deep scarlet:
tongue-tied with joy, rapture, and bashfulness, he could not speak, but
then his looks, his emotion, sufficiently satisfied me that my train
had taken, and that I had no disappointment to fear.
My lips, which I threw in his way, so that he could not escape kissing
them, fixed, fired, and emboldened him: and now, glancing my eyes
towards that part of his dress which covered the essential object of
enjoyment, I plainly discovered the swell and commotion there; and as I
was now too far advanced to stop in so fair a way, and was indeed no
longer able to contain myself, or wait the slower progress of his
maiden bash-fulness (for such it seemed, and really was), I stole my
hands upon his thighs, down one of which I could both see and feel a
stiff hard body, confined by his breeches, that my fingers could
discover no end to. Curious then, and eager to unfold so alarming a
mystery, playing, as it were, with his buttons, which were bursting
ripe from the active force within, those of his waistband and fore-flap
flew open at a touch, when out IT started; and now, disengaged from the
shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise, what? not the play thing of a
boy, not the weapon of a man, but a Maypole, of so enormous a standard,
that had proportions been observed, it must have belonged to a young
giant. Yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even venture to
feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well
turned and fashioned, the proud stiffness of which distented its skin,
whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most
delicate of our sex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set
off by a sprout of black curling hair round the root: through the jetty
springs of which the fair skin shewed as in a fine evening you may have
remarked the clear light through the branchwork of distant trees
over-topping the summit of a hill: then the broad of blueish-casted
incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of its veins, altogether
composed the most striking assemblage of figure and colours in nature.
In short, it stood an object of terror and delight.
But what was yet more surprising, the owner of this natural curiosity,
through the want of occasions in the strictness of his home breeding,
and the little time he had been in town not having afforded him one;
was hitherto an absolute stranger, in practice at least, to the use of
all that manhood he was so nobly stocked with; and it now fell to my
lot to stand his first trial of it, if I could resolve to run the risks
of its disproportion to that tender part of me, which such an oversized
machine was very fit to lay in ruins.
But it was now of the latest to deliberate, for, by this time, the
young fellow, over heated with the present objects, and too high metled
to be longer curbed in by that modesty and awe which had hitherto
restrained him, ventured, under the stronger impulse, and instructive
promptership of nature alone, to slip his hands, trembling with eager
impetuous desires, under my petticoats; and seeing, I suppose, nothing
extremely severe in my looks, to stop or dash him, he feels out, and
seizes, gently, the center spot of his ardours. Oh then! the fiery
touch of his lingers determines me, and my fears melting away before
the glowing intolerable heat, my thighs disclose of themselves, and
yield all liberty to his hand: and now, a favourable movement giving my
petticoats a toss, the avenue lay too fair, too open to be missed. He
is now upon me: I had placed myself with a jerk under him, as
commodious and open as possible to his attempts, which were untoward
enough, for his machine, meeting with no inlet, bore and battered
stiffly against me in random pushes, now above, now below, now beside
his point; till, burning with impatience from its irritating touches, I
guided gently, with my hand, this furious fescue to where my young
novice was now to be taught his first lesson of pleasure. Thus he
nicked, at length, the warm and insufficient orifice; but he was made
to find no breach impracticable, and mine, though so often entered, was
still far from wide enough to take him easily in.
By my direction, however, the head of his unwieldy machine was so
critically pointed, that, feeling him fore-right against the tender
opening, a favourable motion from me met his timely thrust, by which
the lips of it, strenuously dilated, gave way to his thus assisted
impetuosity, so that we might both feel that he had gained a lodgment.
Pursuing then his point, he soon, by violent, and, to me, most painful
piercing thrusts, wedges himself at length so far in, as to be now
tolerably secure of his entrance: here he stuck, and I now felt such a
mixture of pleasure and pain, as there is no giving a definition of. I
dreaded alike his splitting me farther up, or his withdrawing; I could
not bear either to keep or part with him. The sense of pain, however,
prevailing, from his prodigious size and stiffness, acting upon me in
those continued rapid thrusts, with which he furiously pursued his
penetration, made me cry out gently: “Oh, my dear, you hurt me!” This
was enough to check the tender respectful boy even in his mid-career;
and he immediately drew out the sweet cause of my complaint, whilst his
eyes eloquently expressed, at once, his grief for hurting me, and his
reluctance at dislodging from quarters, of which the warmth and
closeness had given him a gust of pleasure, that he was now desire mad
to satisfy, and yet too much a novice not to be afraid of my
withholding his relief, on account of the pain he had put me to.
But I was, myself, far from being pleased with his having too much
regarded my tender exclaims; for now, more fired with the object before
me, as it still stood with the fiercest erection, unbonneted, and
displayed its broad vermilion head, I first gave the youth a
re-encouraging kiss, which he repaid me with a fervour that seemed at
once to thank me, and bribe my further compliance; and soon replaced
myself in a posture to receive, at all risk, the renewed invasion,
which he did not delay an instant: for, being presently remounted, I
once more felt the smooth hard gristle forcing an entrance, which he
achieved rather easier than before. Pained, however, as I was, with his
efforts of gaining a complete admission, which he was so regardful as
to manage by gentle degrees, I took care not to complain. In the mean
time, the soft strait passage gradually loosens, yields, and, stretched
to its utmost bearing, by the stick, thick, indriven engine, sensible,
at once, to the ravishing pleasure of the feel and the pain of the
distension, let him in about half way, when all the most nervous
activity he now exerted, to further his penetration, gained him not an
inch of his purpose: for, whilst he hesitated there, the crisis of
pleasure overtook him, and the close compressure of the warm
surrounding flow drew from him the ecstatic gush, even before mine was
ready to meet it, kept up by the pain I had endured in the course of
the engagement, from the insufferable size of his weapon, though it was
not as yet in above half its length.
I expected then, but without wishing it, that he would draw, but was
pleasingly disappointed: for he was not to be let off so. The well
breathed youth, hot-mettled, and flush with genial juices, was now
fairly in for making me know my driver. As soon, then, as he had made a
short pause, waking, as it were, out of the trance of pleasure (in
which every sense seemed lost for a while, whilst, with his eyes shut,
and short quick breathings, he had yielded down his maiden tribute), he
still kept his post, yet unsated with enjoyment, and solacing in these
so new delights; till his stiffness, which had scarce perceptibly
remitted, being thoroughly recovered to him, who had not once
unsheathed, he proceeded afresh to cleave and open to himself an entire
entry into me, which was not a little made easy to him by the balsamic
injection, with: which he had just plentifully moistened the whole
internals of the passage. Redoubling, then, the active energy of his
thrusts, favoured by the fervid appetency of my motions, the soft oiled
wards can no longer stand so effectual a picklock, but yield, and open
him an entrance. And now, with conspiring nature, and my industry,
strong to aid him, he pierces, penetrates, and at length, winning his
way inch by inch, gets entirely in, and finally, a home made thrust
sheaths it up to the guard; on the information of which, from the close
jointure of our bodies (insomuch that the hair on both sides perfectly
interweaved and incircled together), the eyes of the transported youth
sparkled with more joyous fires, and all his looks and motions
acknowledged excess of pleasure, which I now began to share, for I felt
him in my very vitals! I was quite sick with delight! stirred beyond
bearing with its furious agitations within me, and gorged and crammed,
even to a surfeit. Thus I lay gasping, panting under him, till his
broken breathings, faultering accents, eyes twinkling with humid fires,
lunges more furious, and an increased stiffness, gave me to hail the
approaches of the second period: it came... and the sweet youth,
overpowered with the ecstasy, died away in my arms, melting a flood
that shot in genial warmth into the innermost recesses of my body;
every conduit of which, dedicated to that pleasure, was on flow to mix
with it. Thus we continued for some instants, lost, breathless,
senseless of every thing, and in every part but those favourite ones of
nature, in which all that we enjoyed of life and sensation was now
totally concentered.
When our mutual trance was a little over, and the young fellow had
withdrawn that delicious stretcher, with which he had most plentifully
drowned all thoughts of revenge, in the sense of actual pleasure, the
widened wounded passage refunded a stream of pearly liquids, which
flowed down my thighs, mixed with streaks of blood, the marks of the
ravage of that monstrous machine of his, which had now triumphed over a
kind of second maidenhead. I stole, however, my handkerchief to those
parts, and wiped them as dry as I could, whilst he was re-adjusting and
buttoning up.
I made him sit down by me, and as he had gathered courage from such
extreme intimacy, he gave me an aftercourse of pleasure, in a natural
burst of tender gratitude and joy, at the new scenes of bliss I had
opened to him: scenes positively new, as he had never before had the
least acquaintance with that mysterious mark, the cloven stamp of
female distinction, though nobody better qualified than he to penetrate
into its deepest recesses, or do it nobler justice. But when, by
certain motions, certain unquietness of his hands, that wandered not
without design, I found he languished for satisfying a curiosity,
natural enough, to view and handle those parts which attract and
concenter the warmest force of imagination, charmed, as I was, to have
any occasion of obliging and humouring his young desires, I suffered
him to proceed as he pleased, without check or control, to the
satisfaction of them.
Easily, then, reading in my eyes the full permission of myself to all
his wishes, he scarce pleased himself more than me; when, having
insinuated his hand under my petticoat and shift, he presently removed
those bars to the sight, by slily lifting them upwards, under favour of
a thousand kisses, which he thought, perhaps, necessary to divert my
attention from what he was about. All my drapery being now rolled up to
my waist, I threw myself into such a posture upon the couch, as gave up
to him, in full view, the whole region of delight, and all the
luxurious landscape around it. The transported youth devoured every
thing with his eyes, and tried, with his fingers, to lay more open to
his sight the secrets of that dark and delicious deep: he opens the
folding lips, the softness of which, yielding entry to any thing of a
hard body, close round it, and oppose the sight; and feeling further,
meets with, and wonder at, a soft fleshy excrescence, which, limber and
relaxed after the late enjoyment, now grew, under the touch and
examination of his fiery fingers, more and more stiff and considerable,
till the titillating ardours of that so sensible part made me sigh, as
if he had hurt me; on which he withdrew his curious probing fingers,
asking me pardon, as it were, in a kiss that rather increased the flame
there.
Novelty ever makes the strongest impressions, and in pleasures,
especially; no wonder then, that he was swallowed up in raptures of
admiration of things so interesting by their nature, and now seen and
handled for the first time. On my part, I was richly overpaid for the
pleasure I gave him, in that of examining the power of those objects
thus abandoned to him, naked and free to his loosest wish, over the
artless, natural stripling: his eyes streaming fire, his cheeks glowing
with a florid red, his fervid frequent sighs, whilst his hands
convulsively squeezed, opened, pressed together again the lips and
sides of that deep flesh wound, or gently twitched the over-growing
moss; and all proclaimed the excess, the riot of joys, in having his
wantonness thus humoured. But he did not long abuse my patience, for
the objects before him had now put him by all his, and, coming out with
that formidable machine of his, he lets the fury loose, and pointing it
directly to the pouting-lip mouth, that bid him sweet defiance in dumb
shew, squeezes in his head, and, driving with refreshed rage, breaks
in, and plugs up the whole passage of that soft pleasure-conduit pipe,
where he makes all shake again, and put, once more, all within me into
such an uproar, as nothing could still, but a fresh inundation from the
very engine of those flames, as well as from all the springs with which
nature floats that reservoir of joy, when risen to its floodmark.
I was now so bruised, so battered, so spent with this overmatch, that I
could hardly stir, or raise myself, but lay palpitating, till the
ferment of my senses subsiding by degrees, and the hour striking at
which I was obliged to dispatch my young man, I tenderly advised him of
the necessity there was for parting; at which I felt so much
displeasure as he could do, who seemed eagerly disposed to keep the
field, and to enter on a fresh action. But the danger was too great,
and after some hearty kisses of leave, and recommendations of secrecy
and discretion, I forced myself to send him away, not without
assurances of seeing him again, to the same purpose, as soon as
possible, and thrust a guinea into his hands: not more, less, being too
flush of money, a suspicion or discovery might arise from thence;
having everything to fear from the dangerous indiscretion of that age
in which young fellows would be too irresistible, too charming, if we
had not that terrible fault to guard against.
Giddy and intoxicated as I was with such satiating draughts of
pleasure, I still lay on the couch, supinely stretched out, in a
delicious languor diffused over all my limbs, hugging myself for being
thus revenged to my heart’s content, and that in a manner so precisely
alike, and on the identical spot in which I had received the supposed
injury. No reflections on the consequences ever once perplexed me, nor
did I make myself one single reproach for having, by this step,
completely entered myself into a profession more decried than disused.
I should have held it ingratitude to the pleasure I had received, to
have repented of it; and since I was now over the bar, I thought, by
plunging head and ears into the stream I was hurried away by, to drown
all sense of shame or reflection.
Whilst I was thus making these laudable dispositions, and whispering to
myself a kind of tacit vow of incontinency, enters Mr. H... The
consciousness of what I had been doing deepened yet the glowing of my
cheeks, flushed with the warmth of the late action, which, joined to
the piquant air of my dishabile, drew from Mr. H.... a compliment on my
looks, which he was proceeding to bask the sincerity of with proofs,
and that with so brisk an action, as made me tremble for fear of a
discovery from the condition those parts were left in from their late
severe handling: the orifice dilated and inflamed, the lips swollen
with their uncommon distension, the ringlets pressed down, crushed and
uncurled with the over flowing moisture that had wet everything round
it; in short, the different feel and state of things would hardly have
passed upon one of Mr. H.....’s nicety and experience unaccounted for
but by the real cause. But here the woman saved me: I pretended a
violent disorder of my head, and a feverish heat, that indisposed me
too much to receive his embraces. He gave in to this, and good
naturedly desisted. Soon after, an old lady coming in made a third,
very apropos for the confusion I was in, and Mr. H...., after bidding
me take care of myself, and recommending me to my repose, left me much
at ease and relieved by his absence.
In the close of the evening, I took care to have prepared for me a warm
bath of aromatik and sweet herbs; in which having fully laved and
solaced myself, I came out voluptuously refreshed in body and spirit.
The next morning waking pretty early, after a night’s perfect rest and
composure, it was not without some dread and uneasiness that I thought
of what innovation that tender soft system of mine might have
sustained, from the shock of a machine so sized for its destruction.
Struck with this apprehension, I scarce dared to carry my hand thither,
to inform myself of the state and posture of things.
But I was soon agreeably cured of my fears.
The silky hair that covered round the borders, now smoothed and
re-pruned, had resumed its wonted curl and trimness; the fleshy pouting
lips that had stood the brunt of the engagement, were no longer swollen
or moisture-drenched; and neither they, nor the passage into which they
opened, that had suffered so great a dilation, betrayed any the least
alteration, outwardly or inwardly, to the most curious research,
notwithstanding the laxity that naturally follows the warm bath.
This continuation of that grateful stricture which is in us, to the
men, the very jet of their pleasure, I owed, it seems, to a happy habit
of body, juicy, plump and furnished, towards the texture of those
parts, with a fullness of soft springy flesh, that yielding
sufficiently, as it does, to almost any distension soon recovers itself
so as to re-tighten that strict compression of its mantlings and folds,
which form the sides of the passage, wherewith it so tenderly embraces
and closely clips any foreign body introduced into it, such as my
exploring finger then was.
Finding then every thing in due tone and order, I remember my fears,
only to make a jest of them to myself. And now, palpably mistress of
any size of man, and triumphing in my double achievement of pleasure
and revenge, I abandoned myself entirely to the ideas of all the
delight I had swam in. I lay stretching out, glowingly alive all over,
and tossing with burning impatience for the renewal of joys that had
sinned but in a sweet excess; nor did I lose my longing, for about ten
in the morning, according to expectation, Will, my new humble
sweetheart, came with a message from his master, Mr. H...., to know how
I did. I had taken care to send my maid on an errand into the city,
that I was sure would take up time enough; and, from the people of the
house, I had nothing to fear, as they were plain good sort of folks,
and wise enough to mind no more other people’s business than they could
well help.