"My only desire is to meet you on the terms on which long ago we
stood when you gallantly offered to take me up the
Matterhorn."--_Mr. Gladstone's Letter to Professor Tyndall._
Mr. GLADSTONE _and_ Professor TYNDALL _discovered seated on the edge of
a Crevasse_.
_Mr. Gladstone._ I didn't know a glacier was so frightfully slippery.
_Prof. Tyndall._ Slippery--ha! Like _some_ politicians I might mention!
_Mr. Gladstone._ That last avalanche, too, bowled us over so neatly that
I feel distinctly limp.
_Prof. Tyndall (severely)._ You should try and avoid this "subserviency
to outside influences." I always do.
_Mr. Gladstone (ignoring the remark)._ What range is that over there?
_Prof. Tyndall._ The Pennine Alps, stoopid! From their name they would
seem a suitable residence for a person who scribbles twaddle in
Magazines--ahem! No personal allusion, of course.
_Mr. Gladstone (gaily)._ Of course not! But isn't it rather dangerous
sitting here, with that bank of snow just above us? Suppose it came down
on us!
_Prof. Tyndall._ As the Judges came down on your Parnellite allies, eh?
Perhaps, as we're getting to some nasty places, we might be tied
together now.
_Mr. Gladstone (warmly)._ Quite so. A union of hearts, in fact.
[_After a few hours' more climbing, they reach the summit of the
Matterhorn._
_Prof. Tyndall._ Sorry to leave you, but you see I only promised to take
you up, not to see you safe down again. Ta, ta! I may as well mention
that I consider you a "ubiquitous blast-furn----"
[_Disappears suddenly over the edge._
_Mr. Gladstone._ Dear me! what dreadful language! And he appears to have
cut the rope! He must be a Separatist, after all! If it were PITT, now,
I should call his conduct rather "base and blackguardly." Perhaps I
shall meet the "Professor at the Tea-Table"--at Zermatt!
[_Descends cautiously._
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