(_A Fragment, some way after Addison, picked up in the neighbourhood of
the Athenæum Club._)
What though in solemn silence all
Drop in the dark the fatal ball?
What though no overt voice or sound
Amidst the voting throng be found?
In reason's ear they speak of choice,
And utter forth a boding voice,
Saying, as silent they recline,
"Your company we must decline!"
* * * * *
PIPING TIMES FOR THE EMPIRE.--The bagpipes were not heard playing, "_The
Campbells are Coming_," at the relief of Lucknow. Why? Because the
regiment hadn't got any. The regimental bagpipes were first introduced
by Mr. BOUCICAULT, in his drama of _The Relief of Lucknow_ (that was the
subject, whatever the name might have been) at Astley's. Miss AMY
ROSELLE'S recitation of the thrilling story specially written for her by
Mr. SAVILE CLARKE is most dramatic, and thrills the audience at the
Empire. The journalistic discussion, as to the pipes, comes in very
appropriately, and will assist to raise the wind and pay the piper. This
recitation, is a great "Relief" to the ordinary Music-hall
entertainments, and the Empire has "Luck now."
* * * * *
"PROPRIA QUÆ MARIBUS."
PENTHESILEA straddling on the pigskin?
Surely a male biped need not dwell
In a prejudiced pedantic prig's skin,
Not to like that prospect passing well.
CARLYLE, who scoffed at Man, had deemed it caddish
To picture _Woman_ as "a mere forked radish."
Dear Diana after hounds a riding
Like--a clothes-peg on a clothes-line? Nay!
Rub out all unnatural laws dividing
Sex from sex,--'tis the World's drift to-day.
Let ladies mount the 'bus, or Hansom Cab it,
But let not custom new banish old Habit.
Paint, write poems, pose as prandial wit, Ma'am,
Perorate upon the public platform;
Even in the County Council sit, Ma'am,
If Law lets you, and your taste takes that form;
But take _Punch's_ tip, and do not straddle;
Stick to common-sense and the side-saddle.
* * * * *
Lines on the Labour Conference.
[Illustration]
The youthful German Emperor may try
By Socialistic plans to prop his rule.
Some think 'twill all result in a great cry,
And little (Berlin) wool.
Still, all good souls will wish young WILLIAM luck.
The Teutons may not relish Swiss suggestion,
But anyhow it shows the Emperor's pluck
In handling _Berne_-ing questions.
* * * * *
_Q._ Shall Privates in uniform be admitted to the stalls and boxes in
theatres? _A._ Certainly, if covered with "Orders." Private Boxes
henceforth will be Boxes for Privates.
* * * * *
[Illustration: WEATHER STUDIES.
"ONLY A FACE AT A WINDOW!" | "ONLY A FACE--NOTHING MORE!"]
* * * * *
"GRANDOLPHO FURIOSO!"
_Mr. Punch loquitur:--_
"Begone brave army, don't kick up a row!"--
GRANDOLPHO mine, it were sheer superfluity
For you to _bid_ your forces scatter _now_.
The troopers two, of curious incongruity,
With the long drummer, and the fifer short,
That formed the old stage-army were more numerous
Than is your following. You have given us sport
In many scenes, but this is hardly humorous.
The general of ARTAXOMINOUS
Was far less terrible than--well, thrasonic.
To tear a thing to tatters, shout and "cuss,"
In an assembly callous and sardonic,
Savours a bit too much of sheer burlesque,
Scarce to the level of fine acting rises.
The unexpected's piquant, picturesque,
But a sound drama is not _all_ surprises.
Thought you had taken to the "Temperance" line,
This looks much more like angry inebriety.
A little freakishness is vastly fine,
But even of surprise there comes satiety.
If you and FUSBOS JENNINGS can't agree,
There seems small prospect of a growing Party,
_Verb. sap._ They thought BOMBASTES dead, you see.
But the _finale_ found him up, and hearty!
* * * * *
[Illustration: "GRANDOLPHO FURIOSO!"
MR. PUNCH. "HULLO, GRANDOLPH! I THOUGHT YOU'D TAKEN TO
'_TEMPERANCE_'!!"]
OUT OF IT.--The Amazons who doff the skirt, and don the, the--other
things, can never be considered in Rotten Row as "_habituées_."
* * * * *