friends, who broke their words, and left his neck in the noose.
Jack was a professed enemy to implicit faith, and yet I dare say it
was never more strongly exerted nor more basely abused than upon this
occasion. He was now, with his old friends, in the state of a poor
disbanded officer after a peace, or rather a wounded soldier after a
battle; like an old favourite of a cunning Minister after the job is
over, or a decayed beauty to a cloyed lover in quest of new game, or
like a hundred such things that one sees every day. There were new
intrigues, new views, new projects, on foot. Jack's life was the
purchase of Diego's friendship; much good may it do them. The interest
of Hocus and Sir William Crawley which was now more at heart, made this
operation upon poor Jack absolutely necessary. You may easily guess
that his rest that night was but small, and much disturbed; however,
the remaining part of his time he did not employ (as his custom was
formerly) in prayer, meditation, or singing a double verse of a Psalm,
but amused himself with disposing of his bank stock. Many a doubt, many
a qualm, overspread his clouded imagination: "Must I then," quoth he,
"hang up my own personal, natural, individual self with these two hands!
Durus Sermo! What if I should be cut down, as my friends tell me? There
is something infamous in the very attempt; the world will conclude I had
a guilty conscience. Is it possible that good man, Sir Roger, can have
so much pity upon an unfortunate scoundrel that has persecuted him so
many years? No, it cannot be; I don't love favours that pass through Don
Diego's hands. On the other side, my blood chills about my heart at
the thought of these rogues with their bloody hands pulling out my very
entrails. Hang it, for once I'll trust my friends." So Jack resolved;
but he had done more wisely to have put himself upon the trial of his
country, and made his defence in form; many things happen between the
cup and the lip--witnesses might have been bribed, juries managed, or
prosecution stopped. But so it was, Jack for this time had a sufficient
stock of implicit faith, which led him to his ruin, as the sequel of the
story shows.
And now the fatal day was come in which he was to try this hanging
experiment. His friends did not fail him at the appointed hour to see it
put in practice. Habakkuk brought him a smooth, strong, tough rope,
made of many a ply of wholesome Scandinavian hemp, compactly twisted
together, with a noose that slipped as glib as a birdcatcher's gin. Jack
shrank and grew pale at first sight of it; he handled it, he measured
it, stretched it, fixed it against the iron bar of the window to try its
strength, but no familiarity could reconcile him to it. He found fault
with the length, the thickness, and the twist; nay, the very colour
did not please him. "Will nothing less than hanging serve?" quoth Jack.
"Won't my enemies take bail for my good behaviour? Will they accept of
a fine, or be satisfied with the pillory and imprisonment, a good round
whipping, or burning in the cheek?"
HAB.--Nothing but your blood will appease their rage; make haste, else
we shall be discovered. There's nothing like surprising the rogues. How
they will be disappointed when they hear that thou hast prevented their
revenge and hanged thine own self.
JACK.--That's true; but what if I should do it in effigies? Is there
never an old pope or pretender to hang up in my stead? We are not so
unlike but it may pass.
HAB.--That can never be put upon Sir Roger.
JACK.--Are you sure he is in the next room? Have you provided a very
sharp knife, in case of the worst?
HAB.--Dost take me for a common liar? Be satisfied, no damage can happen
to your person; your friends will take care of that.
JACK.--Mayn't I quilt my rope? It galls my neck strangely: besides, I
don't like this running knot. It holds too tight; I may be stifled all
of a sudden.
HAB.--Thou hast so many ifs and ands! prithee despatch; it might have
been over before this time.
JACK.--But now I think on't, I would fain settle some affairs, for fear
of the worst: have a little patience.
HAB.--There's no having patience, thou art such a faintling, silly
creature.
JACK.--O thou most detestable, abominable Passive Obedience! did I ever
imagine I should become thy votary, in so pregnant an instance? How will
my brother Martin laugh at this story, to see himself outdone in his own
calling! He has taken the doctrine, and left me the practice.
No sooner had he uttered these words, but, like a man of true courage,
he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the noose, and mounted upon
the bottom of a tub, the inside of which he had often graced in his
prosperous days. This footstool Habakkuk kicked away, and left poor Jack
swinging like the pendulum of Paul's clock. The fatal noose performed
its office, and with most strict ligature squeezed the blood into his
face till it assumed a purple dye. While the poor man heaved from
the very bottom of his belly for breath, Habakkuk walked with great
deliberation into both the upper and lower room, to acquaint his
friends, who received the news with great temper, and with jeers and
scoffs instead of pity. "Jack has hanged himself!" quoth they; "let us
go and see how the poor rogue swings." Then they called Sir Roger. "Sir
Roger," quoth Habakkuk, "Jack has hanged himself; make haste and cut
him down." Sir Roger turned first one ear and then the other, not
understanding what he said.
HAB.--I tell you Jack has hanged himself up.
SIR ROGER.--Who's hanged?
HAB.--Jack.
SIR ROGER.--I thought this had not been hanging day.
HAB.--But the poor fellow has hanged himself.
SIR ROGER.--Then let him hang. I don't wonder at it; the fellow has been
mad these twenty years.
With this he slunk away.
Then Jack's friends began to hunch and push one another: "Why don't you
go and cut the poor fellow down?" "Why don't you?" "And why don't you?"
"Not I," quoth one. "Not I," quoth another. "Not I," quoth a third;
"he may hang till doomsday before I relieve him!" Nay, it is credibly
reported that they were so far from succouring their poor friend in
this his dismal circumstance, that Ptschirnsooker and several of his
companions went in and pulled him by the legs, and thumped him on the
breast. Then they began to rail at him for the very thing which they
had advised and justified before, viz., his getting into the old
gentlewoman's family, and putting on her livery. The keeper who
performed the last office coming up, found Jack swinging, with no life
in him. He took down the body gently and laid it on a bulk, and brought
out the rope to the company. "This, gentlemen, is the rope that hanged
Jack; what must be done with it?" Upon which they ordered it to be laid
among the curiosities of Gresham College; and it is called Jack's rope
to this very day. However, Jack, after all, had some small tokens of
life in him, but lies, at this time, past hopes of a total recovery,
with his head hanging on one shoulder, without speech or motion. The
coroner's inquest, supposing him to be dead, brought him in non compos.