I will now silently pass over the space of three months, and leave the
reader to follow in imagination the adventures of our hero in the
Red River Expedition;--and as an essential character in the sequel of
this story I will now take the liberty of introducing myself.
* * * * *
On a fine afternoon about the middle of September, 1870, I arrived at
Kingston, Ontario, and took lodgings at the "City Hotel," where I
intended to remain for a few days. I was then on a tour selling a
poetical work which I had written, entitled: "The Canadian
Minstrel." After tea, that evening, I stepped up stairs to the
sitting-room, and sat down to write a letter to my friends at home.
Shortly afterwards, and while seated there alone, a young man entered
the room.
"I beg pardon, sir; I hope I'm not intruding," he exclaimed very
politely as he entered.
"No, not in the least, sir," said I. He then walked over to the sofa,
and pulling out a newspaper from his pocket, sat down and began to
peruse it. I resumed my pen; and when finished with my letter, I
addressed him somewhat familiarly, and we entered into conversation,
chiefly about the war which was then being carried on between France and
Prussia. He was apparently intelligent; and although slightly reticent
at first, became gradually more conversive and familiar.
He appeared to be about 25 years of age, tall, and somewhat slender in
figure; of keen a nervous temperament; with hair and moustache of a
brownish color: features slightly prominent and very expressive. He was
courteous in manners, and in general appearance, genteel and
good-looking. His style of conversing was agreeable; his arguments
pointed and logical; and his remarks, full of sympathetic sentiment,
apparently the breathings of an impulsive moral nature. His countenance,
although naturally expressive of energy, appeared slightly shadowed by
an expression of sadness. Even in his manner and conversation there was
a peculiar indication of deep thoughtfulness, tinged with melancholy.
Respecting his own history he said nothing, nor did he ask anything
about mine. I was however much interested in his company, and although
strangers to each other, we passed a very pleasant evening together.
At breakfast on the following morning he sat directly opposite to me. We
saluted each other in a friendly manner, and occasionally exchanged a
few sentences. Shortly after we had retired from the table he came
forward and addressed me.
"I shall bid you good bye, friend, for the present," said he, apparently
in readiness to depart.
"And so you are going to leave," said I. "I'm sorry I had not the
pleasure of a longer acquaintance with you."
"I leave for Toronto, where I shall remain a week or two. Should you be
there shortly, please call at the 'Metropolitan Hotel,' and ask for me,
I shall be happy to see you," said he, handing me a card with his name
thereon.
"Thank you, sir, I will be happy to do so," said I: and having heartily
shaken hands together as a mutual token of courtesy and good-will, he
departed.
As I was desirous of attending the Annual Provincial Show, to be held at
Toronto during the first week of October following, I passed all the
intermediate towns on the line of railway, and arrived in that city a
few days previous.
The evening after my arrival I strolled over to the Metropolitan to see
the stranger referred to. He recognized me at once, and was apparently
happy to see me. Although our previous acquaintance had been incidental
and but of short duration, we felt on meeting again as if we had been
old friends. He invited me to the sitting room; and we passed a few very
agreeable hours together. On leaving I requested him to spend the
following evening with me at the hotel at which I was staying. He
complied therewith; and during his further stay of one week in the city
our interviews were of daily occurrence.
During the following week the city was crowded to its utmost capacity;
and the streets presented a gay and lively appearance, owing to the
great influx of visitors to the Exhibition. In company with my friend I
visited the "Show Grounds." Every department of the Arts and
Agriculture, &c., were well represented, showing the vast progress and
developments of the Province of Ontario.
The day of the closing of the Exhibition my friend specially invited me
to his room to spend the evening. During our previous interviews he had
said but little respecting himself. I noticed, however, that something
was deeply affecting his mind; and that he was apparently desirous of
making it known to me. But it was not until this evening that he, in
compliance with my wishes, gave me the history of his past career: the
greater part of which is narrated in the foregoing chapters of this
story: the remainder I will now give in his own words; for, gentle
reader, be it known that this person was none other than Frederick
Charlston, with whom you are already acquainted.
"During the first part of the journey to Red River," said he, "I endured
the hardships and fatigues tolerably well; but the encamping out every
night upon the cold earth: the incessant labor; the hard marches over a
rough road, and under a broiling sun, at length became too oppressive.
Oftentimes I felt, as it were, unable to proceed a step further; but my
proud spirit with a stern determination of will, exerted every possible
energy, and I continued day after day to plod along with my foot-sore
and way-worn companions. Our fatigues were however occasionally relieved
by a general rest for a few days. But before one third of the journey
had been completed I was seized one night with a severe attack of
illness.
"The day had been excessively hot; the commander wishing to get forward
that evening to certain grounds favorable for one week's encampment had
recourse to what might be termed a forced march. Many of the soldiers
suffered from the effects thereof; I was prostrated at once by a severe
billious attack, accompanied with chills and fever, and also diarrhea;
and when the companies resumed their march, I was unable to proceed with
them.
"The evening previous to the general move the doctor made a special
visit to my tent.
"'My young friend,' said he, as he entered, 'I have come to leave you
some medicine as I must move with the army at an early hour to-morrow
morning. Your health, although progressing rapidly, will not permit you
to undertake the journey, at least for one week. However, you will be
provided with necessaries, &c. The Captain has appointed a couple of
honest Indians to remain and take care of you: and who will serve as
guides when you are ready to depart. But my special injunction
is--"_Take good care of yourself_," otherwise you will never reach
Red River.'
"'Indeed, doctor, I'm afraid I shall never be able to resume the
journey,' said I.
"'It would have been much better for you had you not undertaken it at
first.'
"'Experience teaches fools,' I exclaimed.
"'Yes, and the wisest of wise men too,' added the doctor, with a sly
wink.
"'I regret very much the course I have taken,' said I; 'I am now
suffering the experience of my reckless folly. Were it possible to have
an opportunity of living my past years over again agreeably to my
wishes, I assure you, doctor, I would never make a second journey to
Canada, nor go to Red River either; I would make England my home for
ever. However, since I have undertaken this exodus, I hope I shall be
able to complete it.'
"'It is my opinion,' said the doctor, 'that your physical constitution,
inexperienced as it has been to a life like this, will not be able to
stand the fatigues; and even after a month's rest, I dread the
consequences, as the hardships yet to be endured are tenfold greater
than those you have undergone.'
"'Then what shall I do, doctor? Must I live and die alone in this
wilderness?' said I.
"'Under the present circumstances, I think,' said he, 'your resignation
will be immediately accepted. If so remain here for the present under
charge of your attendants. In the course of a week or so, a gang of
Indians will pass here on their way to Thunder Bay for provisions. They
can convey you a great portion of the way by canoe; thence you can
effect your course back to Toronto, or to England if you choose, much
easier indeed than going the remainder of the journey to Red River.'
"'Well doctor,' said I, 'I shall comply with your orders.'
"'Then I shall attend to the matter at once,' said the doctor, and
immediately withdrew. In about an hour afterwards he returned,
accompanied with several officers. The doctor's request was acquiesced
with, and I received my discharge. The commander on leaving placed $30
in my hand, wishing me better health and a safe journey back to Toronto.
No sooner had they left than I began to breathe more freely the air of
liberty. I felt like a prisoner when liberated from his shackled bonds.
I was no longer a mercenary. I was indeed exalted above the ranks, _and
felt myself once more as a man_:--And wherefore, may I ask? Let my
spirit echo the answer.
"The novelty and the romance of adventure had lost their charms.
Military glory had faded under the stern reality of circumstances.
Sickness had dimmed the ardor of my soul. Home-longings had clustered
around my heart: and I then felt as it were for the time being a
happiness in disappointment, and an independence in my liberty.
"My companions were indeed sorry to part with me: and before leaving
presented me with many tokens of their affections. I felt the loneliness
of a saddened heart when they were gone. The Indians were however kind,
and faithful in their duties towards me. Under their care my health and
vigor improved rapidly; so much so, that I felt sufficiently able to go
with the returning Indians to Thunder Bay. I stood the travel much
better than I anticipated. On the 27th day of August I arrived safely in
this city, but much exhausted by the fatigues of the journey.
"Alas! thought I. What a change of prospects! What a revulsion in
circumstances! I left here as a proud follower of Mars, clothed in
scarlet and fine linen like the Kings of Babylon, and blowing up the
tinsel'd bubble of military glory, amid the beating of drums, the
blowing of trumpets, and the cheers of an excited populace. But alas! I
returned in silence, as a simple man of experience, covered in
sackcloth, exhausted in body, disappointed in mind, without friends,
without a home, and with comparatively meagre funds. It was then that
the last words of my dear father to me came rushing upon my soul, and
adding sorrow to the feelings of my heart. Humiliating as my
circumstances were, more deeply affecting to my mind was the
ever-present remembrance of a dream which I dreamt on the night previous
to my departure from Chipenega, the place where I remained during my
illness. I dreamt that I was again residing in Montreal, that I had
retired to my room for the night, and was projecting the design of going
to the Rocky Mountains to dig for gold: and felt excited by the idea
that when I had accumulated a million I would return to England a
gentleman of fortune. But my night visions, like my day dreams, were
doomed to vanish in disappointment: for at that moment when my soul was
elated with the prospect, and my heart throbbing big with joy, I was
startled by a light suddenly shining around me; and on looking about I
beheld a woman entering the room and approaching where I lay. Her
countenance, though pale, shone with a peculiar brightness. A long robe,
white as the snow, hung loosely around her, and sandals were upon her
feet. I was amazed at the appearance at first sight: but after a
momentary gaze I recognized in her features the expression of my own
mother.
"'Oh, mother! my dear mother!' I shouted as she approached, quickly
raising myself up from my couch.
"'Frederick, my son Frederick,' she exclaimed taking hold of my hand in
her own, and kissing me affectionately. 'I have come to take my farewell
of you, my dear son, as I am ready to depart on a long journey and will
not again see you on earth. Around my poor body your father, brother,
sisters, and other relatives are at this very moment sobbing in tears,
while in spirit I am here present with you. My time on earth is limited
to seconds. My words are therefore few. My injunctions are these,--I
hope you will comply with them. Repent of your wickedness and folly.
Abstain from intoxicating liquors and evil company. Live a righteous
life. Return at once to England, and seal those bonds of a life-union
with Clara, whom you have unjustly wronged. Promise me, my son, to do
these things and I shall depart in peace.'
"I was so overcome and bewildered at that moment that I could say
nothing more than simply to whisper,--'_Mother, I shall try to do so_.'
She then kissed me; bade me good-bye; and on wings of light instantly
soared out of the room, leaving it in darkness again. I was so awfully
impressed at this moment that I awoke suddenly. It appeared to me to be
more of a waking reality than a dream. From that time until the present
moment it has preyed heavily upon my feelings. Again and again have I
tried to eradicate the impression, but every effort has only had a
tendency to rivet it the more firmly to my mind, until it has at length
assumed the aspect of a reality. I fear my apprehensions are too true;
however I trust to Providence that my dream was nothing more than a
baseless emanation of fancy. The evening after my arrival in Toronto
from the Red River expedition I wrote a letter to my parents, and also
one to a cousin of my own residing in London. I stated the circumstances
which compelled me to return from the expedition; that the doctor had
advised me to go back to England, as the Canadian climate was not
suitable for my constitution; and that I purposed being in London to
spend the Christmas holidays with my friends. Neither did I forget to
mention the anxiety I felt about my child; nor did I neglect to express
my intention of paying an affectionate compliment to its mother on my
return. I desired my friends to reply immediately on receiving my
letters. Nearly five weeks have elapsed since I wrote, but no answer has
been received yet. I however expect something by the next English mail.
I am living in suspense; a dreadful feeling indeed to endure. Had my
health and means permitted, I would have gone directly to England on my
return from the expedition. Instead thereof I sent the letters referred
to, and having rested in this city a couple of weeks, I went down to
Kingston to visit an old acquaintance who had emigrated thither a few
years ago; but when I arrived there I discovered with disappointment
that he had recently removed to the State of Minnesota. It was then,
sir, that I had the pleasure of meeting with you. Your kindness and
familiarity on that occasion, and also since, have been as medicine to
my soul. I have considered you as a genial and sympathetic friend. I
have told you the history of my past career. I trust to God that my
future will be characterised with less unfortunate events, but with
deeds more worthy of being told. I feel, and I know that I have been the
author of my own wretchedness and folly. I have wasted my time, my
money, and my energies in dissipation. I have feasted my conceited
fancies upon glory as light and transient as the flying gossamer: and
besides all this, I have done injustice to my parents--to my child--and
to her who gave it birth. I have wronged her with cruel heart, a heart
that has recoiled upon itself, and now stings its own affections in the
madness of remorse. But worse than all, I have done injustice to my
Maker. I have mocked at His mercy. I have insulted His dignity. I have
trampled upon His laws. _Oh! miserable wretch that I have been!_
However, I have resolved to live a better life. I trust to God that
through His divine power I shall be enabled to abstain from intoxicating
liquor and evil company."
"I intend returning to England in December next," continued Frederick,
after a few moments silence. "Yesterday I met with a gentleman who
formerly belonged to London, and with whom I was somewhat acquainted. He
is now a resident of Hamilton, some 50 miles from here, and does a large
business as an upholsterer. He offered me immediate employment, at $1.50
per day. I have engaged with him for two months, at the expiration of
which time, if health permit, I will ship myself for England. So that no
time may be lost I shall leave for Hamilton to-morrow morning, to be
ready to commence work on Monday.
"Now, sir, as you intend remaining in Toronto for a week or two you will
indeed favor me by calling at the Post-Office, especially when the next
English Mail arrives, and any letters or newspapers addressed to me,
please forward immediately."
I promised faithfully to do so:--and having thanked him for his favors I
bade him good-bye for the present, expressing a wish that I would find
him in a happier state of feelings at our next interview.