The question and answer were then copied into "the book," and the slip
of paper on which the question was originally written was torn up.
This occupied (for the Deputy-Judge-Advocate was not a rapid writer,
and was apparently in no particular hurry, being a man of very equable
temperament) eight minutes. The second question was put in precisely
the same way, the same ceremonies having been gone through. The second
question was:--
"Were the prisoners present on that occasion?"
"They were," replied the Captain.
Again the copying process went on, slowly and methodically, and Blade,
who was still playing odd and even, called out in a loud voice,
to make it appear that he was giving up his mind entirely to the
investigation:--
"What was the answer? I did not hear it distinctly; be so good as to
request the witness to speak up."
"He said, 'They were,'" returned the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General.
"Oh! 'They were,'" repeated Blade; writing down a mark, signifying that
he had just lost four rupees.
Twenty minutes had now elapsed, and the above was all that had been
elicited from the first witness, who was seemingly as impatient as
most of the members of the Court. The Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General,
however, had patience enough for all present, and so had Blade, and
his adversary at odd and even. My friend having scowled at Blade for
putting his question, and thus prolonging the inquiry, that aggravating
officer now periodically spoke to the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General,
who invariably put down his pen to answer him; just as if he could not
possibly speak with that instrument in his hand. It was a quarter-past
two when the examination in chief was concluded. It began at twelve
precisely; so that two hours and fifteen minutes had been consumed in
taking down the following, and no more:--
"I was present on the night in question, and placed the prisoners
under an arrest, for giving each other the lie in an offensive and
ungentlemanlike manner. They were excited seemingly by the wine they
had taken; but I cannot say that they were drunk."
The Court then adjourned for half-an-hour to the mess-room, to take
some refreshment--every one dripping, drenched. Then came the opening
the fronts of the thick red cloth coats, and the imbibing of brandy
and soda-water, iced beer, and other fluids, and sundry violent
exclamations, that it was worse than the battle of Sobraon--more trying
to the constitution. Every one then sat down to tiffin; and, having
hastily devoured a few morsels, smoked cheroots.
"I say, Blade," said the Senior Captain, "what did you mean by wishing
me to speak up? Surely you heard my answer?"
"Mean, my dear fellow? I meant nothing--or if I did, it was only to
take a mild rise out of you. However, don't interrupt me just now, for
I am thinking over a lot of questions I intend to put to you, when we
get back into Court."
"Questions? About what?"
"About drink! That's all I will tell you now. You don't suppose that I
was born the son of a judge of the Queen's Bench for nothing, do you?
If so, you are vastly mistaken. Is that your Madeira, or ours?"
"Ours."
"Then just spill some into this glass. Ours is not good, certainly,
but it would not do to say so before the Colonel. Ah!" sighed the
lieutenant, after taking a draught: "that is excellent! Yes. Drink
is the topic on which I intend to walk into you, practically. And be
very careful how you answer, or you will have the Commander-in-Chief
down upon you with five-and-twenty notes of admiration at the
end of every sentence of his general order; thirty-five notes of
interrogation in the same; and every other word in italics, or
capitals, in order to impress the matter of his decision firmly on our
minds. 'Was the Court raving mad? Witness ought to be tried!!! folly!
imbecility! childishness! The veriest schoolboy ought to know better!
Deputy-Judge-Advocate ignorant of his duty!!! The President insane!!!!
Confirmed, but not approved!!!"
"What are you making such a noise about, Blade?" inquired the Colonel
of his regiment, good-naturedly.
"Nothing, Colonel," said Blade. "No noise. But here is a man who has
the audacity, in our own mess-house, to asperse the character of our
Madeira." And, taking up the Senior Captain's own bottle, and holding
it before the Senior Captain's face, he exclaimed,--looking at the
Colonel, "He positively refuses to taste it, even."
"Nonsense," said the cavalry Colonel, approaching them with a serious
air, and with an empty glass in his hand. "Nonsense! Do you really mean
to say that our Madeira is not good--excellent?"
"No, Colonel," said the Senior Captain of the Royal Infantry regiment.
"Taste it, and say what you think of it, Colonel," said Blade, filling
the Colonel's glass, which was held up to receive the liquid, with a
willingness which imparted some mirth to the beholders. "Taste it.
There."
"I have tasted it," said the Colonel, "and pronounce it to be the best
I ever drank in my life, and, in my judgment, infinitely superior to
that of any other mess."
"So I say," said Blade, filling his glass; "but the misfortune is, he
won't believe me."
"Order a fresh bottle of our wine for him, Blade," said the Colonel,
"and let him taste the top of it."
"No, thank you, Colonel," said the Senior Captain; "I would rather not.
Remember, I have to conclude my examination."
"Ah, so you have," said the Colonel, moving away. "But take my word for
it, that better Madeira than ours was never grown or bottled."
When the Court resumed its sitting, I observed that some of the members
of the Court became drowsy, and dropped off to sleep, opening one eye
occasionally, for a second or two; others became fidgety, impetuous,
and argumentative. The President inquired if the members of the Court
would like to ask the witness any questions. Several responded in the
affirmative, and began to write their questions on slips of paper.
Blade, however, was the first to throw his slip across the table to
the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, who, having read it, handed it
across to the President, who showed it to the officers on either side
of him, who nodded assent. The question was then handed back to the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, who proceeded to read it aloud.
"You have stated that the prisoners were under the influence of wine,
but that they were not drunk. What do you mean?"
"I mean," said the Senior Captain, "that they--"
"Not so quick, please," said the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General. "You
mean that?--Yes--I am quite ready."
"I mean," said the witness, "that though they had both been partaking
freely of wine, they were not--"
"Freely of wine--don't be in a hurry," said the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, repeating each word that he took down.
"Mind, he says 'Freely,'" said Blade. "'Freely of wine.' The word
'freely' is important--very important. Have you got down the word
freely?"
"Yes," said the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, having put down his pen
to ascertain the fact, and make it known to his interrogator.
"Very well," said Blade. "Then put the rest of the answer down, at your
earliest convenience. I am in no particular hurry."
"Well?" said the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General to the witness--"they
were not--not what?"
"Not drunk," said the witness.
"There is nothing about drunkenness in the charges," said the
President; "where are the charges?"
"Here, sir," said the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General. "But, please let
me write down your remark before we go any further."
"What remark?" inquired the President.
"That there is nothing about drunkenness in the charges. According
to the last general order by his Excellency the Commander-in-Chief,
on the last court martial held in this station, everything that
transpires should be recorded." And the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General
then resumed his writing in the slowest and most provoking manner
imaginable. Several of the audience walked out of the Court, and
went into the room where the refreshments were. I followed them. We
remained absent for more than ten minutes; but, when we came back, the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General had not yet written up to the desired
point, previous to going on with Blade's question. This at length
accomplished, he looked at the President and said, "Yes, sir?"
"There is nothing about drunkenness, and the prisoners are not charged
with it," said the President. "The words, 'while in a state of
intoxication,' are to all intents and purposes surplusage."
"There I differ with you, sir," said the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General.
"So do I," said Blade.
"Clear the Court!" cried the President; whereupon the audience, the
prisoners, the witnesses--in fact, all save the members of the Court
and the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, withdrew, whilst a discussion,
which lasted for three-quarters of an hour was carried on, every member
giving his opinion, and most of them speaking at the same time.
When we returned to the Court, after three-quarters of an
hour's absence, the Senior Captain resumed his seat near the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General. We were not informed of what had taken
place. A pause of several minutes ensued, when Blade threw across
the table another little slip on which was written a long sentence.
The Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General handed it to the President, who,
on reading it, looked a good deal astonished, and shook his head,
whereupon Blade, who was evidently bent on mischief, called out, "We
are all of that opinion at this end of the table."
The President then handed Blade's written question to the officer who
sat next to him on his right, and that officer passed it on to the
next, the next to the next, and so on till it had been seen by every
member of the Court. Some signified by a nod, some by a shake of the
head, others by a shrug of the shoulders, what they thought about it;
and as there seemed to be a difference of opinion, the Court was again
cleared in order that the vote for or against might be taken. So once
more we were driven into the mess-room to refresh ourselves and laugh
over the absurdity of the whole proceeding. After waiting there for
about five-and-thirty minutes, the Adjutant announced, in a loud voice,
"The Court is open!" and we returned to hear the President say that, as
it was now nearly four o'clock, the Court must be adjourned--another
absurdity in connexion with courts martial. After four o'clock, the
Court must not sit, even if twenty minutes in excess of that hour would
end the proceedings, and render another meeting unnecessary.
The Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General then locked up his papers in a box,
placed it under his arm, bowed to the Court, walked off, called for his
buggy, and drove home. The members of the Court, the prisoners, and the
audience then dispersed, and retired to their respective bungalows; all
very tired, and very glad of some repose. My friend, on taking off his
coat, asked me to feel the weight of it, out of curiosity. Saturated
as it was, it must, including the epaulettes, have weighed some
five-and-twenty pounds.
The next day at eleven the Court again met. The first thing that was
done was to read the proceedings of the previous day. This duty was
performed by the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, and, slowly as he read,
it was over in twelve minutes, for I timed him. That is to say, it had
taken four hours and a half to get through the real business of twelve
minutes, or, giving a very liberal margin, the business of half-an-hour.
And now another very curious feature of an Indian court martial
presented itself. The President asked the Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General
if he had furnished the prisoners with a copy of the past day's
proceedings. The Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General said:--
"No; the prisoners had not asked for a copy."