"Two boys," replied the Major, "who thought proper to quarrel at the
mess-table, and to make use of a certain little word, not altogether
becoming gentlemen, if applied to one another. The Senior Captain, who
was the senior officer present, very properly put them under arrest,
and sent them to their quarters. Our Colonel, who is, I am very happy
to say, extremely particular on this as well as on every other point
that tends to preserve the tone and character of the regiment, wished
these lads to receive from a higher authority than himself a severe
reprimand. That authority was the General of the Division; and if the
General of the Division had been Sir Joseph Thackwell, an officer of
sound judgment, or any commander of Sir Joseph's stamp, all would
have been well. But the Colonel, who has since found out the mistake
that he made in not weighing the individual character of Sir Doodle,
forwarded the case on to him through the Brigadier in the regular way,
the young gentlemen meanwhile remaining under arrest. The Colonel also
saw Sir Doodle privately, and pointed out to him, so far as he could
make himself understood, that a severe reprimand was all that was
required. Sir Doodle, however, did not view the matter in this light,
and forwarded the proceedings to the Commander-in-Chief, at Simlah.
After a fortnight's delay, during which time those two boys have been
confined to their respective bungalows, the order has come down for a
general court martial, to assemble and try them. This will involve a
further imprisonment of some three or four weeks; for the chief is sure
to find fault with the court's finding, and send back the proceedings
for revision and reconsideration previous to confirming and approving
of them."
"And what do you suppose will be the upshot?" I asked.
"That the lads will be released, or ordered to return to their duty,"
said the Major. "Have you ever witnessed a military court martial?"
"No."
"Then I would advise you to witness this."
On the following day, a frightfully hot day, the thermometer being at
ninety-two, I accompanied my friend in his buggy to the mess-room of
the regiment, where I beheld some five-and-twenty officers in full
dress. All these officers were in some way or other connected with
the trial; besides these there were present some five-and-thirty
officers in red or blue jackets, but without their swords; these
were spectators. It was altogether a very imposing scene; especially
when the thirteen members took their seats around the table, the
President in the centre, and the Deputy-Judge-Advocate of the Division
opposite to him; the prisoners standing behind the chair of the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General. The lads were now perfectly reconciled
to each other, and as good friends as ever. Indeed, on the morning that
followed their use of the one very objectionable little word, mutual
apologies and expressions of regret passed between them; and, in so far
as the settling of the quarrel between themselves was concerned, it
was most judiciously and satisfactorily arranged by their respective
friends.
The court having been duly sworn, and the charges read aloud by the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, the prisoners were called upon to plead.
Both of them wished to plead guilty, and said so in a low tone to the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General, who in an equally low tone of voice,
said--
"No, don't do that; say 'Not guilty.'"
"But look here, my dear fellow," said one of the prisoners to that
functionary, who was the prosecutor on the occasion; "what's the use of
denying it? We did make two fools of ourselves."
"Yes; what's the use of wasting time?" said the other prisoner.
"If we plead guilty, there's an end of it, and the court can sentence
us at once, and send the papers up to Simlah by to-night's post. I am
sick of that cursed bungalow of mine, and want to have a change of air."
"Well, do as you like," said the Deputy-Judge-Advocate. "But my advice
is that you plead _Not_ guilty, and then in your defence you can
put forth whatever you please in extenuation, and mitigation of the
punishment."
"But here we are brought up for calling each other liars in a moment
of passion, and if we say we did not call each other liars, we _are_
liars."
"And what is more, we are liars in cold blood," urged one of the
prisoners.
"Will you admit that you were drunk?" said the
Deputy-Judge-Advocate-General.
"No," they both called out. "We were not strictly sober, perhaps. But
where is it about being drunk? We didn't see that in the charge."
"Yes, here it is, in the second instance of the second charge,
'having while in a state of intoxication at the mess-table of her
Majesty's ---- Regiment of Foot, on the night,'" &c., &c.
"Oh! that's an infamous falsehood, you know. Who said that? Not Captain
Stansfield, who put us under arrest? If he swears that he shall answer
for it. Intoxicated! not a bit of it! Screwed, nothing more!" cried the
young officer in a sort of stage whisper. "On my honour, as an officer
and a gentleman, nothing more."
"These charges have come down from head-quarters, having been prepared
in the office of the Judge-Advocate-General."
"Who is he? What's his name?" asked the prisoners.
"Colonel Birch," was the reply.
"Then he shall give up his authority."
"Well, plead Not guilty, and you will have it."
"Very well, then, off she goes: 'Not guilty!' Fifty not guilties, if
you like, on that point."
While this little, but interesting, debate was pending between the
prosecutor and the prisoners, the various members of the court were
holding with each other a miscellaneous conversation, or otherwise
amusing themselves.
Colonel Jackstone, of the Native Infantry (who was the president of
the court martial, in virtue of the seniority of his rank), was talking
to Colonel Colverly of the Dragoons, about some extraordinary ailment
of his wife which required the constant administration of brandy and
soda-water, in order to keep her alive. It was a low sinking fever,
he said, from which she had suffered for the last six or seven years
at intervals of three months; and it was always worse in the hot
weather than at any other season of the year. Captain Bulstrade, of
the Artillery, was talking to Major Wallchaffe, of the Light (Bengal)
Cavalry, concerning a fly-trap which he had that morning invented; a
ginger-beer or soda-water bottle half filled with soapsuds and the
opening besmeared with honey or moistened sugar. Captain Dundriffe was
recommending Captain Nolens to buy some beer which a native merchant
had recently imported into the station. Lieutenant Blade, of the
Dragoons, was playing at odd and even with his fingers, on honour,
with Lieutenant Theston, of the same regiment; and, with a pretence
of being ready to take notes of the proceedings of the court martial,
each, pen in right hand, was keeping an account of the score. Blade
used to boast of being the inventor of this simple game, but there were
officers in India who declared that it owed its existence to a late
Commander-in-Chief of the Forces, and who invented it at school when he
had been shut up in a dark room (with another boy as fond of gambling
as himself), as a punishment for card playing and other games of
chance requiring light to see what was going on. Nothing could possibly
be simpler than the game, and played as it was, on honour, nothing
could be fairer. Blade lost thirty pounds on the first day of the court
martial, but won the greater part of it back on the day following.
Of course it would not do to play at this game with strangers or
promiscuous acquaintances. Lieutenant Belterton of the regiment was
making use of the pens, ink, and paper, by sketching the President and
several others who had somewhat prominent noses; and young Lofter was
trying to rival him in this amusement. My own friend was very busy
writing; and, from the serious expression on his countenance, you might
have fancied he was composing a sermon, or writing a letter of advice
to a refractory son; he folded up the paper, and passed it round till
at last it reached me. I opened it, and read as follows:--"We shall be
here till four. Take the buggy and drive up to the bungalow, and tell
the khitmutghur to bring down the ice-basket, also Mr. Belterton's
ice-basket, with a plentiful supply of soda-water from our mess; for
they are rather short here, and can't stand a heavy run upon them.
Tell him also to bring several bottles of our Madeira, for theirs I
do not like, and won't drink. It has not age, and has not travelled
sufficiently. Cigars also. I am literally bathed in perspiration, and
so I fancy are most of us at this end of the table, for the punkah is
too far distant to admit of our receiving any benefit therefrom. This
is an awful business."
In compliance with the request contained in the above note, I left the
Court, drove off as rapidly as possible, and communicated my friend's
wishes to his servant, who immediately hastened to fulfil them. By the
time I returned to the Court the first witness was under examination.
Such a waste of time! Such a trial to the temper of all present!
Instead of allowing the Senior Captain to state the facts--and he would
have done so in less than three minutes--and then take them down on
paper, each question was written on a slip of paper, and submitted
to the President, by the Deputy-Judge-Advocate, who showed it to the
officers sitting on either side of him, who nodded assent. The question
was then read aloud to the witness:--
"Were you present on the night of the 10th of April, at the mess-table
of her Majesty's ---- Regiment of Foot?"