Chapter XXXVIII

Lillian Earle was no tragedy queen. She never talked about sacrifice

or dying, but there was in her calm, gentle nature a depth of endurance

rarely equaled. She had never owned, even to herself, how dearly she

loved Lionel Dacre--how completely every thought and hope was centered

in him. Since she had first learned to care for him, she had never

looked her life in the face and imagined what it would be without him.

It never entered her mind to save herself at the expense of her sister;

the secret had been intrusted to her, and she could not conceive the

idea of disclosing it. If the choice had been offered her between

death and betraying Beatrice, she would have chosen death, with a

simple consciousness that she was but doing her duty.

So, when Lionel uttered those terrible words--when she found that he

had seen her--she never dreamed of freeing herself from blame, and

telling the story of her sister's fault. His words were bitterly

cruel; they stung her with sharp pain. She had never seen contempt or

scorn before on that kindly, honest face; now, she read both. Yet,

what could she do? Her sister's life lay in her hands, and she must

guard it.

Therefore, she bore the cruel taunts, and only once when the fear of

losing him tortured her, cried out for pity and trust. But he had no

trust; he stabbed her gentle heart with his fierce words, he seared her

with his hot anger; she might, at the expense of another, have

explained all, and stood higher than ever in his esteem, but she would

not do it.

She was almost stunned by the sorrow that had fallen upon her. She saw

him, with haughty, erect bearing, quit the drawing room, and she knew

that unless Beatrice permitted her to tell the truth, she would never

see his face again. She went straight to her sister's room and waited

for her.

The pale face grew calm and still; her sister could not refuse her

request when she had told her all; then she would write to Lionel and

explain. He would not leave Earlescourt; he would only love her the

better for her steadfast truth.

"Send Suzette away," she whispered to Beatrice, when she entered; "I

must see you alone at once."

Beatrice dismissed her maid, and then turned to her sister.

"What is it, Lily?" she asked. "Your face is deathly pale. What has

happened?"

"Beatrice," said Lillian, "will you let me tell your secret to Lionel

Dacre? It will be quite sacred with him."

"To Lionel Dacre!" she cried. "No, a thousand times over! How can you

ask me, Lily? He is Lord Airlie's friend and could not keep it from

him. Why do you ask me such an extraordinary question?"

"He saw me tonight," she replied; "he was out in the grounds, and saw

me speaking to Hugh Fernely."

"Have you told him anything?" she asked; and for a moment Beatrice

looked despairing.

"Not a word," said Lily. "How could I, when you trusted me?"

"That is right," returned her sister, a look of relief coming over her

face; "his opinion does not matter much. What did he say?"

"He thought I had been to meet some one I knew," replied Lillian, her

face growing crimson with shame.

"And was dreadfully shocked, no doubt," supplemented Beatrice. "Well,

never mind, darling. I am very sorry it happened, but it will not

matter. I am so near freedom and happiness, I can not grieve over it.

He will not surely tell? He is too honorable for that."

"No," said Lillian, dreamily, "he will not tell."

"Then do not look so scared, Lily; nothing else matters."

"You forget what he must think of me," said Lillian. "Knowing his

upright, truthful character, what must he think of me?"

That view of the question had not struck Beatrice. She looked grave

and anxious. It was not right for her sister to be misjudged.

"Oh, I am so sorry," she began, but Lillian interrupted her, she came

close to her, and lowered her pale face over her sister's arm.

"Beatrice," she said, slowly, "you must let me tell him. He cares for

me. He loves me; I promised to be his wife, and I love him--just as

you do Lord Airlie."

Under the shock of those words Beatrice Earle sat silent and motionless.

"I love him," continued Lillian. "I did not tell you. He said it was

not to be mentioned until you were married. I love him so dearly,

Beatrice--and when he asked me who it was I had been to meet, I could

not answer him. He was very angry; he said sharp, cruel words to me,

and I could not tell him how false they were. He will leave

Earlescourt; he will never look upon my face again unless I tell him

all. He has said so, and he will keep his word. Beatrice, must I lose

my love?"

"It would be only for a time," she replied. "I hate myself for being

so selfish, but I dare not trust Lionel Dacre. He is so impetuous, so

hasty, he would betray me, as surely as he knew it. Do you not remember

his saying the other day that it was well for him he had no secrets,

for he could not manage to keep them!"

"He would keep this," pleaded Lillian--"for your sake and mine."

"He would not," said Beatrice; "and I am so near freedom, so near

happiness. Oh, Lily, you have saved me once--save me again! My

darling, keep my secret until I am married; then I swear to you I will

tell Lionel every word honorably myself, and he will love you doubly.

Could you do this for me?"

"It is not fair to him--he has a right to my confidence--it is not fair

to myself, Beatrice."

"One of us must be sacrificed," returned her sister. "If myself, the

sacrifice will last my life--will cause my death; if you, it will last,

at the most, only three or four weeks. I will write to Lionel on my

wedding day."

"Why trust him then and not now?" asked Lillian.

"Because, once married to Lord Airlie, I shall have no fear. Three or

four weeks of happiness are not so much to give up for your own sister,

Lily. I will say no more. I leave it for you to decide."

"Nay, do not do that," said Lillian, in great distress. "I could not

clear myself at your expense"--a fact which Beatrice understood

perfectly well.

"Then let the matter rest," said her sister; "some day I shall be able

to thank you for all you have done for me--I can not now. On my wedding

day I will tell Lionel Dacre that the girl he loves is the truest, the

noblest, the dearest in the world."

"It is against my better judgment," returned Lillian.

"It is against my conscience, judgment, love, everything," added

Beatrice; "but it will save me from cruel ruin and sorrow; and it shall

not hurt you, Lily--it shall bring you good, not harm. Now, try to

forget it. He will not know how to atone to you for this. Think of

your happiness when he returns."

She drew the golden head down upon her shoulder, and with the charm

that never failed, she talked and caressed her sister until she had

overcome all objections.

But during the long hours of that night a fair head tossed wearily to

and fro on its pillow--a fair face was stained with bitter tears.

Lionel Dacre lingered, half hoping that even at the last she would come

and bid him stay because she wished to tell him all.

But the last moment came, and no messenger from Lillian brought the

longed-for words. He passed out from the Hall. He could not refrain

from looking once at the window of her room, but the blind was closely

drawn. He little knew or dreamed how and why he would return.

Thursday morning dawned bright and beautiful, as though autumn wished

to surpass the glories or summer. Beatrice had not told Lillian when

she was going to meet Hugh, partly because she dreaded her sister's

anxiety, partly because she did not wish any one to know how long she

might be with him; for Beatrice anticipated a painful interview,

although she felt sure of triumph in the end.

Lillian was ill and unable to rise; unused to emotion, the strain upon

her mind had been too great. When Lady Helena listened to her maid's

remarks and went up to see her granddaughter, she forbade her to get

up, and Lillian, suffering intensely, was only too pleased to obey.

The breakfast party was a very small one. Lord Earle was absent; he

had gone to Holte. Lady Helena hurried away to sit with Lillian. Lord

Airlie had been smiling very happily over a mysterious little packet

that had come by post. He asked Beatrice if she would go out with

him--he had something to show her. They went out into the park,

intending to return in time for luncheon.

The morning was bright and calm. Something of the warmth and beauty of

the summer lingered still, although the ground was strewn with fallen

leaves.

Lord Airlie and Beatrice sat at the foot of the grand old cedar tree

whence they would see the distant glimmer of the deep, still lake. The

birds sang around them, and the sun shone brightly. On the beautiful

face of Beatrice Earle her lover read nothing but happiness and love.

"I have something here for you, Beatrice," said Lord Airlie, showing

her a little packet--"a surprise. You must thank me by saying that

what it contains will be more precious to you than anything else on

earth."

She opened the pretty case; within it there lay a fine gold chain of

exquisite fashion and a locket of marvelous beauty.

She uttered a little cry of surprise, and raised the present in her

hands.

"Now, thank me," said Lord Airlie, "in the way I asked."

"What it contains is more precious to me than anything on earth," she

said. "You know that, Hubert; why do you make me repeat it?"

"Because I like to hear it," he answered. "I like to see my proud love

looking humble for a few minutes; I like to know that I have caged a

bright, wild bird that no one else could tame."

"I am not caged yet," she objected.

"Beatrice," said Lord Airlie, "make me a promise. Let me fasten this

locket around your neck, and tell me that you will not part with it

night or day for one moment until our wedding day."

"I can easily promise that," she said. She bent her beautiful head,

and Lord Airlie fastened the chain round her throat.

He little knew what he had done. When Lord Airlie fastened the chain

round the neck of the girl he loved, he bound her to him in life and in

death.

"It looks charming," he said. "How everything beautiful becomes you,

Beatrice! You were born to be a queen--who am I that I should have won

you? Tell me over again--I never grow tired of hearing it--do you love

me?"

She told him again, her face glowing with happiness. He bent over her

and kissed the sweet face; he kissed the little white hands and the

rings of dark hair the wind blew carelessly near him.

"When the leaves are green, and the fair spring is come," he said, "you

will be my wife, Beatrice--Lady Airlie of Lynnton. I love my name and

title when I remember that you will share them. And you shall be the

happiest Lady Airlie that ever lived--the happiest bride, the happiest

wife the sun ever shone upon. You will never part with my locket,

Beatrice?"

"No," she replied; "never. I will keep it always."

They sat through the long bright hours under the shade of the old cedar

tree, while Lillian lay with head and heart aching, wondering in her

gentle way why this sorrow should have fallen upon her.

She did not know, as she lay like a pale broken lily, that years ago

her father, in the reckless heyday of youth, had wilfully deceived his

father, and married against his wish and commands; she did not know how

that unhappy marriage had ended in pride, passion, and sullen, jealous

temper--while those who should have foreborne went each their own

road--the proud, irritated husband abroad, away from every tie of home

and duty, the jealous, angry wife secluding herself in the bitterness

of her heart--both neglecting the children intrusted to them. She knew

how one of those children had gone wrong; she knew the deceit, the

misery, the sorrow that wrong had entailed. She was the chief victim,

yet the sin had not been hers.

There were no fierce, rebellious feelings in her gentle heart, no angry

warring with the mighty Hand that sends crosses and blessings alike.

The flower bent by the wind was not more pliant. Where her sorrow and

love had cast her she lay, silently enduring her suffering, while

Lionel traveled without intermission, wishing only to find himself far

away from the young girl he declared he had ceased to love yet could

not forget.

Dora Thorne · 第 38 / 45 章