"The Fox."
My dear Tom,--However Morris managed it I know not, but an order came
for my liberation that same evening, with the assurance that my passport
was to be made out for wherever I pleased to name, and the Prefect was
to express to me his regrets and apologies for an inadvertence which he
deeply deplored.
It seemed that, but for diplomacy, I'd not have been detained half
an hour; but our worthy representative of Great Britain had asked for
copies of all the charges against me so formally, had requested
the names, ages, and station in life of the several witnesses so
circumstantially, and had, in fact, imparted such a mock importance to
a police impertinence, that the Grand-Ducal authorities began to suspect
that they had caught a first-rate revolutionist, with a whole trunkful
of Kossuth and Mazzini correspondence. This comes of setting school-boys
to write despatches! The greedy appetite for notoriety--to be up
and doing--to be before the world in some public capacity--of these
juveniles, brings England into more trouble, and Englishmen into more
embarrassment, than you could believe. If they 'd be satisfied with
recording Royal dinnerparties and Court scandal,--who got the Order of
the Guinea-pig, and who is to receive the "Tortoise," they could n't do
much harm; but the moment they get hold of an international grievance,
and quote Puffendorf, we have no peace on the Continent for six months
after.
"You wish to leave Baden," said Morris; "where will you go?"
"I have not the slightest notion," said I. "I'm waiting for letters from
Ireland,"--yours, my dear Tom, the chief of them,--"and therefore it
must be somewhere in the vicinity."
"Go over to Rastadt, then," said he, "and amuse yourself with the
fortifications: they are now in course of construction, and when
completed will be some of the strongest in Europe. I 'll give you a
letter to the Commandant, who will show all that can interest you, and
explain everything that you may wish to know." Rastadt is only twenty
miles away; it is, however, in all that regards intercourse with Baden,
fully two hundred distant. It is cheap, rarely visited by strangers, has
no "fashionables," and, in fact, just the kind of model-prison residence
that I was wishing for to discipline the family, and get them once more
"in hand."
Thither, therefore, we remove to-morrow morning, if nothing unforeseen
should occur in the interim. Morris, as you may observe, behaved most
kindly in this affair; and, indeed, showed a strong interest in James,
from certain remarks the boy himself has let drop; but he seems cold,
Tom,--one of those excellent fellows that are always doing the right
thing for its own sake, and not for yours. I don't want to disparage
principle, no more than I do a great balance at Coutts's, or anything
else that I don't possess myself; but I mean to say that, somehow or
other, one likes to feel that it is to yourself, as an individual,--to
your own proper identity,--a service is rendered, and not to a mere
fraction of that great biped race that wear cloth clothes and eat cooked
victuals.
That's the way with the English, however, all over the globe, and I
have often felt more grateful to an Irishman for helping me on with my
surtout than I have to John Bull for a real downright piece of service.
I suppose the fault is more mine than his; but the fact is true, and so
I give it to you. I suppose, besides, that an impartial observer of both
of as would say that we make too much of every favor, and the Englishman
too little; we exact all the obligation of a debt for it, they treat the
whole thing lightly, as if the service rendered, and those to whom it
was done, were not worthy of further consideration. However we strike
the balance between us, Tom,--in our favor or against us,--I own to you
I like our own way best; and though nothing could be truly more kind and
considerate than Morris, it was quite a relief to me when he gave me his
cold shake-hands, and said "Good-bye!"
And so it will ever be, so long as human actions are swayed by human
emotions. The man who recognizes your feelings, who regards you with
some touch of sympathy, is more your friend than the benevolent machine
who bestows upon you his mechanical philanthropy.
"The Golden Ox," Rastadt. We left Lichtenthal like a thief in the night;
and here we are now in the "Golden Ox" at Rastadt, which, I own to
you, seems a most comfortable house. James and I--for we are now
_two_ parties domestically, Mrs. D. and Mary Anne living very much to
themselves, and Cary still on a visit with Morris's mother--had a most
excellent breakfast of fresh trout, a roast partridge, a venison steak
with capers--a capital dish--and chocolate, with abundance of good white
wine of the place, and on calling for the bill, out of curiosity, I see
we are charged something under a florin for two of us,--about tenpence
each. Tom, this will do. You may therefore look upon me as a citizen
of Rastadt for the next month to come. I have kept my letter by me
hitherto, to give you a bulletin of this place before closing it, and I
have still some time at my disposal before the post leaves.
I'm not sure, though, I'd exactly recommend this town to a patient
laboring under nervous headaches, or to a university man reading for
honors. Indeed, up to this--I suppose I 'll get used to it later on--the
din has so addled me that I have often to stand two minutes reflecting
over what I had to say, and then own that I have forgotten it. We
are--that is, the "Ox" is--in the quietest spot in the town, and yet
close under my bedroom there are, from early morning till dusk, twelve
drummers at practice, with a head drummer to teach them. In the green,
before the door, two companies of recruits are at drill. The foot
artillery limbers and unlimbers all day in the "Platz" close by, and
what should be our garden is a riding-school for the cadets. These
several educational establishments have their peculiar tumult, which
accompany me through my sleep; and for all the requirements of quiet
and reflection, I might as well have taken up my abode in a kettle-drum.
Liège was a Trappist monastery in comparison! As it is, the routine
tramp of feet has made me conform to the step, and I march "quick" or
"orderly," exactly as the fellows are doing it outside. I swallow my
soup to the sound of a trumpet, and take off my clothes to the roll of
the drum. James is in ecstasy with it all; I never saw him enjoy himself
so much. He is out looking at them the entire day, and I 'm greatly
mistaken but Mary Anne passes a large portion of her time at the green
"jalousie" that opens over the riding-school.
I am always asking myself--that is, whenever I can summon composure even
for so much--what do the Germans want with all these soldiers? Surely
they 're not going to invade France, nor Russia; and yet their armies
are maintained in a strength that might imply it! As to any occasion for
them at home in their own land, it's downright balderdash to talk of it!
Do you know, Tom, that whenever I think of Germany and her rulers, I am
strongly reminded of poor old Dr. Drake, that lived at Dronestown, and
the flea-bitten mare he used to drive in his gig. She was forty if she
was an hour; she was quiet and docile from the day she was foaled: all
the whipping in the world couldn't shake her into five miles an
hour, and yet the doctor had her surrounded with every precaution
and appliance that would have suited a regular runaway. There were
safety-reins, and kicking-straps, and double traces without end,--and
all to restrain a poor old beast that only wanted to be let alone, and
drag out her tiresome existence in the jog-trot she was used to! "Ah,
you don't know as well as I do," Drake would say; "she's a devil at
heart, and if she did n't feel it was useless to resist, she 'd smash
everything behind her. She looks quiet enough, but _that_ does n't
impose upon me." These were the kind of reflections he indulged in, and
I suppose they are about the same in use in the Cabinets of Austria,
Prussia, and Bavaria. I was often malicious enough for a half wish that
Drake should have a spicy devil in the shafts, just for once, to show
him a trick or two; and in the same spirit, Tom, I cannot help saying
that I 'd like to see John Bull "put to" in this fashion! Would n't he
kick up,--would n't he soon knock the whole concern to atoms! Ah, Tom,
it's all alike, believe me; and whether you have to drive a nag or a
nation, take my word for it, the kicking-straps are only efficacious
when the beast has n't a kick in him! At all events, such are not the
popular notions here; and on they go, building fortresses, strengthening
garrisons, and reinforcing army corps, till at last the military will be
more numerous than the nation, and every prisoner will have two jailers
to restrain him. "Who is to pay?" becomes the question; but indeed
that is the very question that puzzles me now. Who pays for all this
at present? Is it possible that a people will suffer itself to be taxed
that it may be bullied? I 'm unable to continue this theme, for there go
the drums again,--there are forty of them at it now! What's in the wind
I can't guess. Oh, here's the explanation. It is the Herr Commandant--be
sure you accent the last syllable--is come to pay me a visit, and the
guard has turned out to drum him upstairs!
Four o'clock.
He is gone at last,--I thought he never would,--and I have
only time to say that he has appointed to-morrow after breakfast, to
show me the fortress, and as I am too late for the post, I 'll be able
to add a line or two before this leaves me. Mary Anne has come to say
that her mother's head is distracted, and that she cannot endure the
uproar of the place. My reply is, "Mine is exactly in the same way; but
I cannot go any further,--I 've no money."
Mrs. D. "thinks she'll go mad!" If she means it in earnest, this is as
cheap a place to do it in as any I know. We are only to pay two pounds a
week each, and I suppose whether we preserve our senses or not makes no
difference in the expense! This would sound very unfeelingly, Tom, but
that you are well aware of Mrs. D. 's system, and that she gives notice
of a motion without any intention of going to a debate, much less of
pressing for a "division." Mary Anne is very urgent that I should see
her mother, but I am not quite equal to it yet Maybe after visiting
the fortress to-morrow I'll be in a more martial mood; and now here's
dinner, and a most savory odor preludes it.
Tuesday.
This must go as it is, Tom,--I 'm dead beat! That old veteran
would n't let me off a casemate nor a bomb-proof, and I have walked
twenty miles this blessed morning! Nor is that all; but I have
handled shot, lifted cannon-balls, adjusted mortars, and peeped out of
embrasures, till my back is half broken with straining and fatigue. Just
to judge from what I 'm suffering, a siege must be a dreadful thing!
He says be showed me everything; and, upon my conscience, I can well
believe it! There was a great deal of it, too, that I saw in the dark,
for there was no end of galleries without a single loophole, and many of
the passages seemed only four feet high; for, though a short man, I had
to stoop. I ought to have a great deal to say about this place, if
I could remember it, or if I could be sure it would interest you. It
appears that Rastadt is built upon an entirely new principle, quite
distinct from any hitherto in use. It must be attacked _en ricochet_,
and not directly; a hint, I suppose, they stole from our common law,
where they fire into _you_, by pretending to assail John Doe or Richard
Roe. The Commandant sneered at the old system, but I 'd rather trust
myself in Gibraltar, notwithstanding all he said. It stands to reason,
Tom, that if you are up in a window you have a great advantage over a
fellow down in the street. Now, all these modern fortresses are what is
called "_à fleur d'eau_" quite level, and not raised in the least over
the attacking force. Put me up high, say I; if on a parapet, so much the
better; and besides, Tom, nothing gives a man such coolness as to know
that he is all as one as out of danger! Of course, I did n't make this
remark to the Commandant, because in talking with military people it is
good tact always to assume that being shot at is rather pleasant than
otherwise; and so I have observed that they themselves generally make
use of some jocular phrase or other to express being killed and wounded;
"he was knocked over," "he got an ugly poke," being the more popular
mode of recording what finished a man's existence, or made the remainder
of it miserable.
Soldiering has always struck me as an insupportable line of life. I have
no objection in the world to fight the man who has injured _me_, nor to
give satisfaction where I have been the offender; but to go patiently
to work to learn how to destroy somebody I never saw and never heard of,
_does_ seem absurd and unchristianlike altogether. You say, "He is the
enemy of my country, and, consequently, mine." Let me see that; let me
be sure of it. If he invades us, I know that he is an enemy; but if he
is only occupied about his own affairs,--if he is simply hunting out a
nest of old squatters that he is tired of,--if he is merely changing the
sign of his house, and instead of the "Lily" prefers to live under the
"Cock," or maybe the "Drone-bee," what have I to say to that? So long as
he stays at home, and only "gets drunk on the premises," I have no right
to meddle with him. It's all very well to say that nobody likes to have
a disorderly house in his neighborhood. Very true; but you ought n't
to go in and murder the residents to keep them quiet. There 's the mail
gone by, and I have forgotten to send this off. It's a wonderful thing
how living in Germany makes a man long-winded and tiresome. It must be
the air, at least with me, or the cookery, for I am perfectly innocent
of the language. The "mysterious gutturals," as Macaulay calls them,
will ever be mysteries to _me!_ At all events, to prevent further
indiscretions, I 'll close this and seal it now. And so, with my sincere
regards, believe me, dear Tom, ever yours,
Kenny I. Dodd.
Address me, "Golden Ox,"--I mean at the sign of,--Rastadt, for you 're
sure of finding me here for the next four weeks at least.