["The German officials at the frontier, since the relaxation
of the passport regulations, have been ordered to treat
foreign passengers with every politeness."--_Daily Papers._]
MEIN HERR, will you do us the honour to descend from the
railway-carriage? It will be merely a matter of form. We need not
disturb those gracious ladies, your wife and daughters.
This is the best way to the Customs. You will notice that we have
swept the path that leads to the door.
Certainly, these arm-chairs are for the use of passengers. We have
placed them there ourselves, and can recommend them.
Is it asking too great a favour to beg you to lend me the keys of your
boxes? A hundred thousand thanks.
Your explanation is absolutely satisfactory. You are bringing these
sixteen unopened boxes of cigars home for your grandmother. It is a
most proper thing to do, and, under the circumstances, the duty will
be remitted.
And these three hundred yards of lace of various makes and ages? An
heir-loom! Indeed! Then, of course, the packet must pass duty-free.
As we have found nothing of consequence in this portmanteau of yours,
it will be unnecessary to search the nineteen boxes of that gracious
lady, your wife. No doubt she has obeyed your instruction not to
smuggle. We are absolutely satisfied with your explanations, and are
greatly obliged to you for your kindness and condescension.
This is the way to the carriage. We have placed steps before the door,
as without a platform it is difficult to ascend.
No, mein herr, it is utterly impossible? We are forbidden by the
Emperor himself to accept a gratuity.
Yes, madam, it is indeed without charge. Do not tempt us. Instant
dismissal is the penalty.
Certainly, mein herr, you could get the same politeness before the
Emperor issued his Imperial instructions.
But then the charge was a thaler!
[Illustration: OUR COUNTRYMEN ABROAD
"Ulloa! Garçong, _here_ you are! Dayjernay, se voo play?"
"Yes, sare! Vat vil you 'av, sare?"
"Oh! Oofs!"
"Yes, sare! [OE]ufs à la _coque_, sare?"
"Oh, nong! Hang it! _Hen's_ eggs for _me_, please!"]
[Illustration:
_Gallant Scavenger._ "Very much the good day,[A] madame! And how fares
mister your husband, this fine weather?"
_Polite Applewoman._ "Much better, I thank you, monsieur! Recall me, I
pray you, to the amiable recollection of madame your spouse!"
_Gallant Scavenger._ "With pleasure, madame. Very much the good
evening!"
_Polite Applewoman._ "Good evening, monsieur, and good night!"
[Footnote A: In the original, "_Bien le bon jour, madame_."]]