(_A STORY OF THE TIMES, DEDICATED TO PROFESSOR MUNRO._)
KING COLE, although described as a "merry old soul," was in reality
a tyrant. He had a number of subjects who used to work underground,
and their labour was to bring to the surface the black diamonds of
the earth. It was not altogether a pleasant occupation, but still,
the task had to be accomplished. His Majesty was fond of ferocious
practical jokes, and perchance this may have been the origin of
the jocular description attached to his name. One day, some of his
subjects complained that their hours of labour were too many.
"How long do you work?" asked the King.
"May it please you, Sire, sixteen," was the reply.
"Try what you can do with twelve," and they were about to depart
rejoicing, when the Monarch called them back and added, "But mind you,
I shall expect just as many black diamonds to be unearthed as before."
So the King's subjects worked only twelve hours, and strange to say,
quite as many black diamonds were produced as in the olden days. Then
the workmen began to grumble once more, and the King again interviewed
them.
"Do you still work twelve hours?" he asked the deputation.
"Certainly, Your Majesty; but we think half would be quite enough,"
returned the spokesman.
"By all means--why not make it three hours?" and again his subjects
were departing, rejoicing, when once more he added, "But I shall
expect just the same output as before."
And he got it, for the men worked harder than ever. And then they
came yet again to him. Once more they considered the hours of labour
excessive. They thought sixty minutes plenty.
"So do I," replied the Monarch, "not only plenty, but too many. But
as it is scarcely worth while employing you only half an hour a day,
I shall make other arrangements."
And from that time forth he brought up his black diamonds from the
centre of the earth by machinery!
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NOT "HALF A CHAP."--A well-known Clergyman, who "does nothing by
halves." i.e., Dean HOLE.
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[Illustration: "WHEN A MAN DOES NOT LOOK HIS BEST."--NO. 4.
WHEN HE JUST BEGINS TO REALISE WHAT A SUFFERING HE WOULD HAVE SAVED
HIMSELF, IF HE HAD ONLY HAD THE _COURAGE_ TO SAY "_MEDIUM_" INSTEAD OF
"HARD."]
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