Whence this enchanted skin comes.—I owe to it my life and the
crown.—In what manner I govern.—I learn the fate of the English
station.
Crawling on their bellies after the manner of serpents, these new
reptiles came towards me. Karabouffi crawled at their head. Overwhelmed
by fear, his enormous head had disappeared between his shoulders; his
quickened breath swept over the ground; his body, far more considerable
in its natural state than that of a tall man, was now nothing but a
flattened and trembling trunk pressed against the earth. When he had
reached my feet he licked them for more than a quarter of an hour; and
this act of abasement over, he moved a little on one side to make room
for others, who in their turn licked my feet as he had done. Not one of
them was bold enough to render a similar act of homage to my hands. These
abject proceedings of theirs confounded me with astonishment.
But what did it all mean? For surely this singular homage of which I had
been the object must be open to some kind of explanation.
The explanation was this: that with my mandrill’s skin, my mandrill’s
head, my mandrill’s breast, my mandrill’s hands and legs, I was
taken—now you will guess it all—for the gigantic mandrill whom
Vice-Admiral Campbell had suspected to be, and not, as we see, without
reason, an old sovereign of Kouparou. Yes, I was taken for that same
great mandrill who would have disembowelled Karabouffi had not Admiral
Campbell knocked the monster over with a ball from his fowling-piece.
This fanatic veneration of theirs, instead of diminishing, only
increased. It became a universal sentiment. An Indian god is not more
adored by his superstitious worshippers than I was by these grovelling
apes. I might have walked, stamping on this living carpet, without even a
skin daring to move.
I was, then, saved? Without doubt; but I was also become an ape. More
than that! I was unquestionably recognised as king by all the apes of
Kouparou. And how had all this been brought about? Why, in precisely the
same way that other sovereigns had raised themselves to power—by firing a
few guns, by losing my head, and by disguising myself in the garments of
an illustrious predecessor.
Since it was so, and since it was necessary either to “perish or reign,”
as they say, I believe, in tragedies, and in actual life as well, I
resigned myself to reign, although my people appeared very ugly-looking
in my eyes. But I had no choice.
This resolution being taken, I generously extended my paw to my
predecessor Karabouffi, whom I raised by this dignified movement, easily
comprehended, to the high rank of prime minister.
This first act of authority exercised by me prodigiously astonished all
around; but I perceived that on the whole it gave great satisfaction. My
good sense, then, had not deceived me. I had always said to myself, and
that long before a nation of apes had placed the sceptre in my hands,
that it was bad policy on the part of a minister to torment, abase, and
punish those whom he was called upon to aid in governing, since if he
should act thus, if he should listen to the inspirations of hate, or to
counsels bewildered by fear, he is certain to create for himself secret
and implacable enemies, critics ever ready to condemn all his actions,
who are so much the more to be feared since they foment discontent among
the people, who, while regretting the loss of that liberty which they no
longer possess, will indulge in the hope that one day it may again be
theirs.
And how very difficult, if not impossible, is rendered the return to
power of those who have been overthrown if they are only left where they
have fallen! An open tolerance which will only lower them still more is
preferable to raising them up by a marked display of aversion, or by a
colouring of persecution, no matter how faint.
I exercised, then, no severity against Karabouffi, who, it must be
remembered, had had the generosity, when I was entirely in his power, not
to flay me alive from head to foot.
Nevertheless, whatever forbearance I may have been disposed to exercise
towards Karabouffi, I could not avoid the performance of one act which
I knew would be very mortifying to his self-love and passions. But by
the side of that prudence which I had just shown it was necessary that
I should show a like degree of energy and equity. Moreover, in what I
proposed doing I was only about to extend the principle in accordance
with which I had spared Karabouffi himself. All the vervets, all the old
followers of the mandrill whose place I occupied, were brought from exile
and disgrace. Some old ourang-outangs, some baboons of the late reign,
some old Dianas, wearing cocked hats crowned with big plumes stolen from
Vice-Admiral Campbell’s station, murmured behind their beards. But I took
no notice of their suppressed disgust. I knew the step that I was taking
was a politic one, for it conciliated the others. One is always strong
when one is in the right. The consequence was that the grand dignitaries
of all kinds, those who held the rank of judges, generals, and grand
officers of the palace, smiled at the proposition, and welcomed the
outlaws with open arms. Vervets and baboons embraced one another weeping.
Was the reconciliation sincere? It is very doubtful. Those who have an
interest in keeping parties divided say that it is perilous to society to
bring them together; but to continue my story—for these reflections are
out of place.
The most cruel trial to which I was obliged to expose my predecessor, in
spite of my well-known character for humanity, was this. Followed by all
my subjects and the members of my court, and having my prime minister
Karabouffi on my right hand, I directed my steps towards the prison of
the unfortunate Mococo. The _cortège_ was a most imposing one. We arrived
at length in front of the horrible iron cage, on the floor of which
lay the poor captive pining away through grief and love. The faithful
Saïmira, who was at this moment consoling him through the bars, started
back at the appearance of this crowd. She believed that we had come to
seek her lover to drag him to the scaffold. How was I to undeceive her
without betraying myself?
The event soon reassured her. After setting Mococo free, I placed his
trembling hand in that of the gentle Saïmira, and made the two lovers
understand, by keeping them for some minutes locked as it were in this
soft pressure, that I united them in the face of this huge assembly,
which had no doubt often seen among themselves infinitely worse assorted
unions. At the sight of this happiness, which I had been the means of
procuring for my two poor chimpanzees, Karabouffi rent the air with a
cry of despair and rage. I pitied his position, and to spare him the
slow agony of witnessing day by day the love which existed between this
happy couple, I sent the two chimpanzees away for a time. They went
under my protection to spend their honeymoon in an isolated spot which
I had selected for them in a corner of the island, a charming retreat
surrounded by clear and limpid waters, by pink and yellow convolvuli,
and mysterious flowers which, opening only during the night, would not
yield their perfume to the sun. The lady-monkeys, I am happy to say,
appeared highly satisfied with my conduct.
[Illustration: They went to spend their honeymoon in an isolated spot
which I had selected for them.—_Page 130._]
This commencement of a reign in appearance so easy did not leave me
altogether without inquietude, although I hasten to declare after
experience that nothing is more easy than to govern, and to govern well.
When I was a bird-fancier at Macao, I have often found it more difficult
to sell a parrot than it proved to become master of the wills of one
hundred thousand subjects of by no means pliable natures who had fallen
to my care.
But I must here mention the grave inquietude which troubled me in the
early days of my reign. How could I feel perfectly tranquil so long as
the mandrill’s skeleton remained suspended to the tree in the mimosa
forest? The first one among my new subjects who might perceive it would
not fail to divulge the fact to the others; and then what would become
of me? How could I be at the same time both living and dead—hung and yet
reigning? It would be indeed vexatious for a sovereign to have his own
skeleton brought against him as a witness.
It was necessary, then, at all risks to put an end to this embarrassment.
The simplest way, the reader will think, would be to get rid of this
confounded skeleton; the simplest way—yes, but not for me, since I
was constantly surrounded by thousands of courtiers. Notwithstanding
this, during one of those stormy nights which are rarely known in other
countries of the world—one of those nights, in fact, of brimstone
and electricity which make tigers and elephants fall asleep on their
knees, the air is so heavy to their eyes and brains—I sallied forth. My
body-guards, chamberlains, and valets-de-chambre slept too soundly to
have been aroused even by the trumpet of the last judgment. The wind
drove the clouds so rapidly through the sky, that the moon appeared
to leave its orbit and fall with all its weight to the horizon, to
remount as rapidly to the zenith. Trees a hundred and forty feet high
were snapped like reeds, and after having been blown down, and then into
the air again, twirled round me like whirlwinds of straw; a single dry
leaf—it is true some are half a yard long—catching me a blow would have
cut me in two with the cleanness of a razor. I saw this hurricane mow
down portions of the forests in the space of three minutes, and clear
the ground bare to the solid rock. One would not understand how it was
that I was not carried away like an atom, if one were ignorant of the
fact that these hurricanes proceed by currents, which vary but little in
extent. There are bands—kinds of lines almost as regular as if drawn to
scale. Well, two paces from the tempest one can see it pass without being
touched by it in the slightest degree. Such was the night chosen by me
for my expedition.
No one saw me leave the verandah. I stole away in the shade, and, hidden
by the contortions of the tempest, gained the wood of mimosas where I
knew that my skeleton was hanging up. I say my skeleton, since henceforth
I considered myself in all respects as neither more nor less than the
mandrill discovered by Admiral Campbell. In due course I arrived at the
tree, suspended to which were my poor bones rattling in the wind, when,
after having dug a trench seven feet long, I interred myself with all
possible precautions. I covered myself over at first with vegetable
earth, then with sand, then with turf, and lastly with a layer of dry
leaves. At this strange and solemn moment I believed myself a far more
extraordinary personage than the Emperor Charles V. He only assisted
at his own funeral procession at the Convent of Saint-Just, whereas
I, Polydorus Marasquin, performed my own obsequies, and was my own
undertaker, gravedigger, and mourner. Surely it will not be disputed that
I was the first example of a sovereign or even of a man who had buried
himself with his own hands.
[Illustration: After having dug a trench seven feet long, I interred
myself with all possible precautions.—_Page 132._]
So soon as I was fairly under the turf I turned my thoughts to the
future, and occupied myself with studying how to reign well. Subjects
generally render this task easy enough to their rulers. They are
determined at every hazard to believe the successor infinitely superior
in all things to his predecessor. Let him do what he may, he is always
more intelligent, energetic, and generous. This is the first stage of
forced popularity. Even Nero, Louis XI. of France, and George IV. of
England, have not escaped it. The second stage of popularity often to a
new sovereign is for him to be always doing exactly the reverse of his
predecessor. If the latter was fond of talking, then it should be your
aim to be silent; if he was silent, you should be fond of talking; if he
always went out on foot, you should never go out except on horseback;
if he went out on horseback, you should only go out on foot; if he
was proud, you should be familiar; if he was familiar, you should be
proud; if he was peaceful, you should be warlike; if he was warlike, you
should be peaceful; if he loved the arts, you should despise them; if
he despised them, you ought to pretend to love them; if he adored his
children, you should remain a bachelor; if he practised celibacy, you
ought in this case to marry; if he scattered gold about, your plan would
be to be saving; if he was miserly, then you should scatter your gold
with an open hand. I have said sufficient for the reader to perceive the
value of my theory. Let us pass now, so far as the matter concerns me, to
the application of it.
It will be readily understood that not having really to govern men, but
creatures vastly inferior to them, who bore, however, at the same time, a
grim resemblance to mankind in general, I did not have occasion to apply
my theory in all its rigour. I simply set myself to work to see how I
could twist it so as to turn to my own purposes minds which were alike
inconsistent, frivolous, and, as we all know, imitative to a degree.
My predecessor, Karabouffi, had urged on his subjects, now my subjects,
to destroy my comfortable verandah. I could not imagine anything
more agreeable to them than to decree its immediate reconstruction.
I therefore took some of the stones detached by the force of their
projectiles, and in their presence placed them one upon another in
the symmetrical order which they had occupied before their overthrow.
Immediately, as if by a fairy’s command, the stones were placed in a most
workmanlike manner. I filled up the interstices with plaster which I had
mixed with water to serve as a kind of mortar; at the same moment all
my subjects, seized with a rage for building, pounded plaster, broke up
freestone, carried water, mixed, stirred, and made me mortar sufficient
to rebuild the Tower of Babel. They presented a curious sight, whitened
all over as they were with plaster, even to their moustaches, elbows, and
knees.
Karabouffi, on seeing the part which I took with his old subjects, looked
as if he were thinking how easy it would have been for him to have
followed the same course, and to have arrived at the same end. He was
right, no doubt, but he had not done so.
However, warned as he now was by experience, should he ever regain his
sceptre, all he would then have to do to render himself popular would be
to demolish my work.
The verandah raised from its ruins, I traced through the neighbouring
woods four splendid roads, several leagues in length, all radiating from
a given point, and all leading to the sea. These magnificent openings
were completed in a few days, and by the same simple means as those I
had had recourse to when engaged in the reconstruction of my palace. I
commenced by felling three trees to the right and three trees to the
left of the four lines representing the four routes to be opened in the
thicknesses of the forest. Immediately hands and hatchets were hard at
work felling trees. It was like a renewal of the hurricane with which I
was assailed on the night of my funeral. My object in opening these four
roads was to catch sight from as far off as possible of any vessel that
might touch at the island, and be the means of setting me free.
The reader will easily understand that when once I had secured for
myself something like liberty in my movements, I did not rest without
searching for any vestiges which might be scattered about the island, and
which might give a clue to the fatal lot which had, in all probability,
befallen the brave sailors of the naval station. My investigations were
attended with the following result:—While examining the land-locked
bay which Admiral Campbell’s journal indicated as the anchorage of the
Halcyon, I was struck by a circumstance which clearly proved that this
fine frigate had not left the bay in accordance with the ordinary rules
of navigation. Had she done so she would have raised her anchor and the
buoys which marked the spot where they had been dropped. Instead of this
the buoys were in their places, and I had only to slip my hand under
one of them to assure myself that the anchors had never been weighed.
In their thievish haste the pirates had cut the cables above the buoys,
and had thus set the frigate free in order to carry her off, Heaven only
knows where.
I was, then, irrevocably condemned to endure my present lot; my original
deductions had proved to be correct. The entire naval station had become
the prey of the Malay scum of the archipelago of Sooloo.
While speaking of the expedition undertaken by me to the Halcyon’s
anchorage, I ought not to omit mentioning that I was accompanied on this
occasion by the various dignitaries of my household. Their zeal carried
them so far as to induce them to throw themselves into the water with me
when I swam to the place where the buoys were floating, through want of a
boat or canoe to take me there. The reader will see that if the affection
of my subjects for my royal person was all that could be desired, my
marine was nevertheless in a very inefficient state.
I returned to my dominions, after this short absence, amid the
acclamations of my subjects, who evidently grew more and more fond of
me. I must mention here that the one thing which made me more popular
than ever among them, and which marvellously proved the efficacy of my
governmental theory, was being in respect of the matter of dress the
exact opposite of my predecessor, who was accustomed, even up to the
moment of his unmerited fall, to dress himself out in a most ridiculous
style, whereas I went totally naked. One can scarcely believe how much
this contrast helped to keep me in favour. “What simplicity!” murmured
they; “how natural and charming! He shows his bare back as we do, and is
just as ugly as we are.”
This proves that it is not necessary always to wear a theatrical-shaped
hat in order to be regarded as a great king. I am, however, bound to
acknowledge that this habit of reigning quite naked was productive to
me of more bitter distress than it is possible to imagine; it made me,
moreover, incur the most serious dangers, considering the exceptional
position in which I was placed. When I think of the matter a cold shiver
runs through me, my hair stands on end, my heart fails me, and I feel as
though I am on the point of fainting.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]