The farce is finished, and another piece of a graver cast brought upon
the stage.--Our aunt made a desperate attack upon Barton, who had no
other way of saving himself, but by leaving her in possession of
the field, and avowing his pretensions to Liddy, by whom he has been
rejected in his turn.--Lady Griskin acted as his advocate and agent on
this occasion, with such zeal as embroiled her with Mrs Tabitha, and a
high scene of altercation passed betwixt these two religionists, which
might have come to action, had not my uncle interposed. They are however
reconciled, in consequence of an event which hath involved us all in
trouble and disquiet. You must know, the poor preacher, Humphry Clinker,
is now exercising his ministry among the felons in Clerkenwell prison--A
postilion having sworn a robbery against him, no bail could be taken,
and he was committed to jail, notwithstanding all the remonstrances and
interest my uncle could make in his behalf.
All things considered, the poor fellow cannot possibly be guilty,
and yet, I believe, he runs some risque of being hanged. Upon his
examination, he answered with such hesitation and reserve as persuaded
most of the people, who crowded the place, that he was really a knave,
and the justice’s remarks confirmed their opinion. Exclusive of my uncle
and myself, there was only one person who seemed inclined to favour
the culprit.--He was a young man, well dressed, and, from the manner in
which he cross-examined the evidence, we took it for granted, that
he was a student in one of the inns of court.--He freely checked the
justice for some uncharitable inferences he made to the prejudice of
the prisoner, and even ventured to dispute with his worship on certain
points of law.
My uncle, provoked at the unconnected and dubious answers of Clinker,
who seemed in danger of falling a sacrifice to his own simplicity,
exclaimed, ‘In the name of God, if you are innocent, say so.’ ‘No (cried
he) God forbid that I should call myself innocent, while my conscience
is burthened with sin.’ ‘What then, you did commit this robbery?’
resumed his master. ‘No, sure (said he) blessed be the Lord, I’m free of
that guilt.’
Here the justice interposed, observing, that the man seemed inclined to
make a discovery by turning king’s evidence, and desired the clerk to
take his confession; upon which Humphry declared, that he looked upon
confession to be a popish fraud, invented by the whore of Babylon. The
Templar affirmed, that the poor fellow was non compos; and exhorted the
justice to discharge him as a lunatic.--‘You know very well (added he)
that the robbery in question was not committed by the prisoner.’
The thief-takers grinned at one another; and Mr Justice Buzzard
replied with great emotion, ‘Mr Martin, I desire you will mind your
own business; I shall convince you one of these days that I understand
mine.’ In short, there was no remedy; the mittimus was made out,
and poor Clinker sent to prison in a hackney-coach, guarded by the
constable, and accompanied by your humble servant. By the way, I was not
a little surprised to hear this retainer to justice bid the prisoner to
keep up his spirits, for that he did not at all doubt but that he would
get off for a few weeks confinement--He said, his worship knew very well
that Clinker was innocent of the fact, and that the real highwayman who
robbed the chaise, was no other than that very individual Mr Martin, who
had pleaded so strenuously for honest Humphry.
Confounded at this information, I asked, ‘Why then is he suffered to
go about at his liberty, and this poor innocent fellow treated as a
malefactor?’ ‘We have exact intelligence of all Mr Martin’s transactions
(said he); but as yet there is not evidence sufficient for his
conviction; and as for this young man, the justice could do no less than
commit him, as the postilion swore point-blank to his identity.’ ‘So
if this rascally postilion should persist in the falsity to which he is
sworn (said I), this innocent lad may be brought to the gallows.’
The constable observed, that he would have time enough to prepare
for his trial, and might prove an alibi; or, perhaps, Martin might be
apprehended and convicted for another fact; in which case, he might be
prevailed upon to take this affair upon himself; or, finally, if these
chances should fail, and the evidence stand good against Clinker,
the jury might recommend him to mercy, in consideration of his youth,
especially if this should appear to be the first fact of which he had
been guilty.
Humphry owned he could not pretend to recollect where he had been on the
day when the robbery was committed, much less prove a circumstance of
that kind so far back as six months, though he knew he had been sick
of the fever and ague, which, however, did not prevent him from going
about--then, turning up his eyes, he ejaculated, ‘The Lord’s will be
done! if it be my fate to suffer, I hope I shall not disgrace the faith
of which, though unworthy, I make profession.’
When I expressed my surprize that the accuser should persist in charging
Clinker, without taking the least notice of the real robber who
stood before him, and to whom, indeed, Humphry bore not the smallest
resemblance; the constable (who was himself a thief-taker) gave me to
understand, that Mr Martin was the best qualified for business of all
the gentlemen on the road he had ever known; that he had always acted on
his own bottom, without partner or correspondent, and never went to work
but when he was cool and sober; that his courage and presence of mind
never failed him; that his address was genteel, and his behaviour void
of all cruelty and insolence; that he never encumbered himself with
watches or trinkets, nor even with bank-notes, but always dealt for
ready money, and that in the current coin of the kingdom; and that he
could disguise himself and his horse in such a manner, that, after
the action, it was impossible to recognize either the one or the
other--‘This great man (said he) has reigned paramount in all the roads
within fifty miles of London above fifteen months, and has done more
business in that time, than all the rest of the profession put together;
for those who pass through his hands are so delicately dealt with, that
they have no desire to give him the least disturbance; but for all that,
his race is almost run--he is now fluttering about justice, like a moth
about a candle--there are so many lime-twigs laid in his way, that I’ll
bet a cool hundred, he swings before Christmas.’
Shall I own to you, that this portrait, drawn by a ruffian, heightened
by what I myself had observed in his deportment, has interested me
warmly in the fate of poor Martin, whom nature seems to have intended
for a useful and honourable member of that community upon which he now
preys for subsistence? It seems, he lived some time as a clerk to a
timber-merchant, whose daughter Martin having privately married, was
discarded, and his wife turned out of doors. She did not long survive
her marriage; and Martin, turning fortune-hunter, could not supply his
occasions any other way, than by taking to the road, in which he
has travelled hitherto with uncommon success.--He pays his respects
regularly to Mr Justice Buzzard, the thief-catcher-general of this
metropolis, and sometimes they smoke a pipe together very lovingly,
when the conversation generally turns upon the nature of evidence.--The
justice has given him fair warning to take care of himself, and he has
received his caution in good part.--Hitherto he has baffled all the
vigilance, art, and activity of Buzzard and his emissaries, with
such conduct as would have done honour to the genius of a Caesar or
a Turenne; but he has one weakness, which has proved fatal to all the
heroes of his tribe, namely, an indiscreet devotion to the fair sex, and
in all probability, he will be attacked on this defenceless quarter.
Be that as it may, I saw the body of poor Clinker consigned to the
gaoler of Clerkenwell, to whose indulgence I recommended him so
effectually, that he received him in the most hospitable manner, though
there was a necessity for equipping him with a suit of irons, in which
he made a very rueful appearance. The poor creature seemed as much
affected by my uncle’s kindness, as by his own misfortune. When I
assured him, that nothing should be left undone for procuring his
enlargement, and making his confinement easy in the mean time, he fell
down on his knees, and kissing my hand, which he bathed with his tears,
‘0 ‘squire! (cried he, sobbing) what shall I say?--I can’t--no, I can’t
speak--my poor heart is bursting with gratitude to you and my dear--dear
generous--noble benefactor.’
I protest, the scene became so pathetic, that I was fain to force myself
away, and returned to my uncle, who sent me in the afternoon with
a compliment to one Mr Mead, the person who had been robbed on
Black-heath. As I did not find him at home, I left a message, in
consequence of which he called at our lodgings this morning, and very
humanely agreed to visit the prisoner. By this time, lady Griskin had
come to make her formal compliments of condolance to Mrs Tabitha, on
this domestic calamity; and that prudent maiden, whose passion was
now cooled, thought proper to receive her ladyship so civilly, that a
reconciliation immediately ensued. These two ladies resolved to comfort
the poor prisoner in their own persons, and Mr Mead and I ‘squired
them to Clerkenwell, my uncle being detained at home by some slight
complaints in his stomach and bowels.
The turnkey, who received us at Clerkenwell, looked remarkably sullen;
and when we enquired for Clinker, ‘I don’t care, if the devil had him
(said he); here has been nothing but canting and praying since the
fellow entered the place.--Rabbit him! the tap will be ruined--we han’t
sold a cask of beer, nor a dozen of wine, since he paid his garnish--the
gentlemen get drunk with nothing but your damned religion.--For my part,
I believe as how your man deals with the devil.--Two or three as bold
hearts as ever took the air upon Hounslow have been blubbering all
night; and if the fellow an’t speedily removed by Habeas Corpus, or
otherwise, I’ll be damn’d if there’s a grain of true spirit left within
these walls we shan’t have a soul to do credit to the place, or make his
exit like a true born Englishman--damn my eyes! there will be nothing
but snivelling in the cart--we shall all die like so many psalm-singing
weavers.’
In short, we found that Humphry was, at that very instant, haranguing
the felons in the chapel; and that the gaoler’s wife and daughter,
together with my aunt’s woman, Win Jenkins, and our house-maid, were
among the audience, which we immediately joined. I never saw any thing
so strongly picturesque as this congregation of felons clanking their
chains, in the midst of whom stood orator Clinker, expatiating in a
transport of fervor, on the torments of hell, denounced in scripture
against evil-doers, comprehending murderers, robbers, thieves, and
whore mongers. The variety of attention exhibited in the faces of those
ragamuffins, formed a groupe that would not have disgraced the pencil of
a Raphael. In one, it denoted admiration; in another, doubt; in a
third, disdain; in a fourth, contempt; in a fifth, terror; in a sixth,
derision; and in a seventh, indignation.--As for Mrs Winifred Jenkins,
she was in tears, overwhelmed with sorrow; but whether for her own sins,
or the misfortune of Clinker, I cannot pretend to say. The other females
seemed to listen with a mixture of wonder and devotion. The gaoler’s
wife declared he was a saint in trouble, saying, she wished from her
heart there was such another good soul, like him, in every gaol in
England.
Mr Mead, having earnestly surveyed the preacher, declared his appearance
was so different from that of the person who robbed him on Black-heath,
that he could freely make oath he was not the man: but Humphry himself
was by this time pretty well rid of all apprehensions of being hanged;
for he had been the night before solemnly tried and acquitted by his
fellow prisoners, some of whom he had already converted to methodism.
He now made proper acknowledgments for the honour of our visit, and was
permitted to kiss the hands of the ladies, who assured him, he might
depend upon their friendship and protection. Lady Griskin, in her
great zeal, exhorted his fellow-prisoners to profit by the precious
opportunity of having such a saint in bonds among them, and turn over a
new leaf for the benefit of their poor souls; and, that her admonition
might have the greater effect, she reinforced it with her bounty.
While she and Mrs Tabby returned in the coach with the two maidservants,
I waited on Mr Mead to the house of justice Buzzard, who, having heard
his declaration, said his oath could be of no use at present, but that
he would be a material evidence for the prisoner at his trial; so that
there seems to be no remedy but patience for poor Clinker; and, indeed,
the same virtue, or medicine, will be necessary for us all, the
squire in particular, who had set his heart upon his excursion to the
northward.
While we were visiting honest Humphry in Clerkenwell prison, my uncle
received a much more extraordinary visit at his own lodgings. Mr Martin,
of whom I have made such honourable mention, desired permission to pay
him his respects, and was admitted accordingly. He told him, that
having observed him, at Mr Buzzard’s, a good deal disturbed by what had
happened to his servant, he had come to assure him he had nothing to
apprehend for Clinker’s life; for, if it was possible that any jury
could find him guilty upon such evidence, he, Martin himself, would
produce in court a person, whose deposition would bring him off clear as
the sun at noon.--Sure, the fellow would not be so romantic as to
take the robbery upon himself!--He said, the postilion was an infamous
fellow, who had been a dabbler in the same profession, and saved his
life at the Old Bailey by impeaching his companions; that being now
reduced to great poverty, he had made this desperate push, to swear
away the life of an innocent man, in hopes of having the reward upon his
conviction; but that he would find himself miserably disappointed, for
the justice and his myrmidons were determined to admit of no interloper
in this branch of business; and that he did not at all doubt but that
they would find matter enough to shop the evidence himself before the
next gaol-delivery. He affirmed, that all these circumstances were well
known to the justice; and that his severity to Clinker was no other
than a hint to his master to make him a present in private, as an
acknowledgment of his candour and humanity.
This hint, however, was so unpalatable to Mr Bramble, that he declared,
with great warmth, he would rather confine himself for life to
London, which he detested, than be at liberty to leave it tomorrow, in
consequence of encouraging corruption in a magistrate. Hearing, however,
how favourable Mr Mead’s report had been for the prisoner, he is
resolved to take the advice of counsel in what manner to proceed for his
immediate enlargement. I make no doubt, but that in a day or two this
troublesome business may be discussed; and in this hope we are preparing
for our journey. If our endeavours do not miscarry, we shall have taken
the field before you hear again from