FRANK. Idiot! go and prepare my chamber.
SIMON. (_going, L._) Yes, Master Harry.
FRANK. Stop a moment; is there anything to eat in the pantry?
SIMON. I saw the plate chest there; but I'll go and see, Master Harry.
Ah! if you were Mr. Frank.
FRANK. Well?
SIMON. I shouldn't be able to find anything. (_confidentially_)
Godfather says that you are a pet, and that your brother is a bad lot;
old folks won't have him at any price.
FRANK. (_aside_) I know it but too well. (_aloud_) You will find some
cigars in my portmanteau, with my pipe and tobacco. Stay; have you got
the keys of the cellar?
SIMON. Yes, sir.
FRANK. Then bring me some champagne.
SIMON. I will. (_aside_) He'll help me, I can see, to redden my nose!
_Exit, with portmanteau, door, L._
FRANK. Have I done well to present myself here under my brother's
name, because I know their great preference for him, and that they
treat me like a Cinderella of the male sex. This is the way I
discovered that I was no favourite; one day I wrote to them for money,
and didn't get it: while Harry, who had also written for some, did:
then I questioned myself as to what I had done, and as to what I had
not done. I said to myself, it is nearly twelve years since Harry and
I quitted the old people; we are of the same figure, considerably
resemble each other; I could easily impose upon my grandmother, who is
nearly blind, and ditto upon my grandfather, who is quite deaf, and so
I will go to them and say here is your darling Harry, and express my
willingness to receive as much money as they choose to give me; if my
brother were to write I should be there to suppress his letters.
Wasn't that a clever idea? not particularly honest, but remarkably
clever; that will teach parents to have a preference, to all
respectable grandfathers one grandson is as good as another.
_Enter ADELAIDE, door, C., a cloak over her arm, a small carpet bag in
her hand._
ADELAIDE. Mrs. Mitchell, if you please, sir.
FRANK. (L. C.) Yes, this is her house, but she is gone from home for
nine or ten days.
ADELA. (R. C.) How unfortunate! And Mr. Mitchell?
FRANK. That's me. I am Mr. Mitchell; Fra----I mean Harry Mitchell.
ADELA. (_aside_) Harry! It is he!
FRANK. Will you have the goodness to take a seat?
ADELA. I thank you. But the Mr. Mitchell of whom I asked you is the
husband of Mrs. Mitchell, and I do not suppose that----
FRANK. No, certainly; I have not married my grandmother, that sort of
thing is not allowed, you know. (_aside_) She is deucedly pretty.
(_aloud_) Will you have the goodness to take a seat?
ADELA. Then your grandfather is also absent.
FRANK. For nine or ten days. I am quite alone here, but that makes no
difference. (_again offering chair_) Will you have the goodness to----
ADELA. No, thank you. I believe I cannot do better than make my way
back to the railway station, and return to London. (_going up_)
FRANK. (_following and bringing her back_) But, excuse me, may I be
allowed to enquire----
ADELA. I believed I had been recommended to them by Mr. Dunstable, as
a companion to----
FRANK. Certainly, quite correct. (_aside_) She mustn't go, I want a
companion, dreadfully. (_aloud_) They are expecting you, madam, very
impatiently, I assure you!