(_With acknowledgments to "The Times"_).
Baldness among men is undoubtedly on the increase, and various reasons
have been assigned for its appearance in an exacerbated form. In
particular the stress and strain of the War have been mooted, and the
argument is reinforced by such words as Chauvinism, which, Mr. LLOYD
GEORGE is probably not aware, is derived from _chauve_. War is a solvent
of equanimity; in the cant but expressive phrase it becomes harder to
keep one's hair on. Again, _inter arma silent Musae_. Fewer people have
been playing the pianoforte, an exercise which has always exerted a
stimulating effect on the follicles. Our political correspondent at
Paris writes that M. PADEREWSKI'S once luxuriant _chevelure_ has
suffered sadly since he has taken to politics, but that after playing
for a couple of hours to Mr. BALFOUR a distinct improvement was
noticeable.
But no very clear exposition of the subject has yet been forthcoming,
and this is all the more extraordinary when it is considered that
baldness is really a very unsightly and distressing condition.
The sensitiveness of JULIUS CAESAR on this score is notorious. CIMABUE,
of whom Mr. LLOYD GEORGE has probably never heard, was a martyr to
_alopecia seborrhoica_, and the case of the Highland chieftain MacAssar
is too well known to call for detailed survey. Yet the strange fact
remains that hitherto sustained scientific investigation has been
lacking, though there is assuredly a great, if not perhaps a vital, need
for it. No one can afford to say that, if this apparently, simple
malady were studied, facts of the utmost value to hatters would not
be forthcoming. One can only express regret that those fortunate
interviewers who have been allowed to describe the cranial developments
of eminent men should have failed to profit by their opportunities for
examining the "area of baldness," which corresponds to the distribution
of the Vth nerve, the branches of which come out from the brain by the
eye-sockets. Such investigations will never be properly carried out and
co-ordinated without the establishment of a Hair Ministry, which is one
of the clamant needs of reconstruction. It is an open secret that the
question was discussed a year ago and set aside for the curious reason
that of the three persons whose candidature was most powerfully
supported two were bald, and the third was the Member for Wigan.
Meanwhile a start has been made by the unofficial activities of a small
committee of experts in trichology, and their conclusions, published in
an interim report, are worth recording. They are as follows: "That the
'area of baldness,' should an illness supervene, will certainly suffer
to a greater extent than the more vigorous ones. Illness, as is well
known, tends to interfere with the nourishment of the skin and to
establish an atrophic diathesis of the follicular ganglia. The patient's
hair may all come out, or, and this often happens, it may come out only
in one area--the area of baldness."
In a minority report, signed by only one of the committee, the strange
theory was expounded that genius developed in a direct ratio with the
loss of hair between the temporal regions and the crown of the head.
It was also pointed out that in a great number of TURNER'S pictures a
special feature was the prominence given to bald-headed fishermen in
high lights. This observation does not seem to represent a scientific
attempt to handle the problem; but it should not be rashly dismissed on
that account.
In a further article we hope to deal with the effect of hard hats on
the conductivity of the branches of the Vth nerve, the mentality of the
Hairy Ainus and other cognate questions.
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[Illustration: _Mr. 'Iggins (describing his first experience in
lawsuit)._ "'IS LORDSHIP SEZ, 'YOU CAN GO. THE CASE IS ADJOURNED
_SINE DIE_. WELL, I WASN'T GOING TO LET 'IM THINK I DIDN'T RUMBLE 'IS
LAW-TALK, SO I JUS' GIVES 'IM A WINK AN' SEZ, 'RIGHT-O! GOOD BYE-EE!'"]
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