"Don't be repelled by the first impression," she added in an undertone.
"I too was obliged to conquer a slight prejudice, but all trees do not
have the same bark. This man's good qualities lie in the depths of his
nature."
The person thus announced now entered with a hasty bow, cast a quick,
strangely penetrating glance at Edwin, and then with an awkward manner,
like a boy aping a grown man for the first time, kissed Frau Valentin's
hand. When she pronounced Edwin's name, he bowed with studied courtesy,
but instantly threw himself on the sofa as if utterly exhausted, took
no further notice of this new acquaintance, but with the most entire
absence of constraint as if availing himself of his privileges in the
house, tore off a black cravat knotted around his thick neck, and began
to comfortably sip a glass of wine, which Frau Valentin poured out for
him, at the same time relating in a low, harsh voice, the result of
various errands and commissions, which despite the heat, he had
executed for his hostess.
Edwin had plenty of leisure to observe him, and found the warning not
to allow himself to be discouraged by the first impression, very
necessary. If he had followed his own inclinations, he would not have
breathed the same air with this singular saint a moment longer. Now he
remained and determined to make a study of him.
He who looked more closely at the strongly marked forehead, broad nose,
and large, ever moving lips, could not help thinking the face a
striking one, and in its rare moments of repose even attractive. Bushy,
unkempt hair hung over the rounded temples, but the beard was closely
shaven and the cheeks thus acquired a bluish tint. What most repelled
Edwin was that the Herr Candidat either kept his eyes fixed intently on
the floor, or else let them wander aimlessly over the ceiling, without
noticing the persons in the room except by a hasty side glance.
Moreover a bitter smile constantly hovered around his lips, while he
was silent, but instantly disappeared when he began to speak. Then an
almost fanatical sternness lowered on his black brows, a firm decision
and imperious implacability, although he expressed himself in the
mildest and gentlest words.
There was nothing remarkable about his black clothes, which were cut in
the usual style, but he wore shoes that enabled him to move almost
noiselessly, and a brown straw hat with a black ribbon a hand's breadth
wide.
After relating the result of his visits to the sick and poor and
meantime drinking a second and third glass of wine, he looked at an
unshapely silver watch he had drawn from the heart pocket of his black
coat, and hastily rose, saying that his minutes to-day were numbered.
In reply to Frau Valentin's jesting remark, that it was strange a
person who, like him, always lived in eternity, never had any time, he
did not even answer with his usual smile. On reaching the door, after
not having addressed a single word to Edwin, he said suddenly: "I shall
consider it an honor to accompany you, Herr Doctor, if you will wait
until I have said a few words to our excellent friend alone. Business
matters!" he added, looking quietly at his patroness. The latter seemed
to have expected something of the kind, and without any sign of
curiosity led the way into the late mathematician's study, whither
Lorinser followed her.
Edwin's feeling of dislike had grown so strong, that he could scarcely
control it sufficiently to wait for the Herr Candidat. He could not
understand a word of what was being said in the next room, and only
heard enough to gather that Frau Valentin grew angry, but Lorinser
speedily soothed her; then a box was opened and money counted out on a
table. Directly after both re-appeared in the sitting room, the
professor's widow evidently out of humor and with deeply flushed
cheeks, Lorinser following her in the calmest possible mood. He kissed
his hostess' pretty hand and whispered something, that Edwin did not
hear, but would not permit her to accompany him to the door.
The seamstresses were sitting quietly at work in the large room. The
youngest was a slender brunette, with thick, shining hair, and
beautiful black eyes. As Lorinser passed, Edwin thought he saw the girl
blush and bend lower over her work, but the Herr Candidat seemed to
take no more notice of her than the others.
When they had reached the street, and walked on side by side for some
distance in silence, Lorinser suddenly stood still, removed his hat,
and casting an absent glance at the clouds, said: "You must not
misjudge me. This sort of practical religion, this busy attempt to earn
heaven by making ourselves useful to our fellow mortals, is thoroughly
repugnant to me, and if I allow myself to be used as a tool, it is only
to have some kind of method in the madness. This course or conduct may
be everything you please, warm-hearted, useful, a necessity to certain
natures, but it is as different from true _religion_, as all human
worship is unlike the genuine service of God."
"I have only made Frau Valentin's acquaintance to-day," replied Edwin.
"But she did not give me the impression that she was one of those
persons who hope to engage a place in heaven by their good works. She
cannot imagine any worship--and therefore certainly not the service of
God--without active exertion."
"You express her views exactly," said the other, as he withdrew his
eyes from the clouds and fixed them again on the earth. "To act is a
temporal thing; to be, to behold, to commune with ourselves--only thus
can we here, though imperfectly, attain a conception of the Infinite.
It is possible that in a purer and more sensitive husk than the one we
now have, organs may grow, by means of which we can take an active
share in the inexpressible energy of the Deity, become in a certain
sense co-workers with God. Here below the highest point we can reach,
is: an ecstatic realization that we possess God. Everything that
perplexes us, procures our powers room to develop, tempts us, so to
speak, from resting in God to rely on ourselves, no matter how useful
it may be in a _worldly_ point of view, is a sin against the Holy
Ghost, a crime against our own souls. I do not know how far your
philosophy will enable you to follow me."
[Illustration: Lorinser suddenly stood still, removed his hat, and
cast an absent glance at the clouds.]
"To the most extreme consequences of your view of the world, which
extend to the familiar mystical quietism," replied Edwin with a calm
smile. "This is not the first time I have encountered such a mixed
temperament--you are undoubtedly phlegmatic---choleric--and therefore
my philosophy is not perplexed about the formula. The only thing new
and not quite intelligible, is how any one with such views can become a
clergyman, accept an office as the servant of religion, which calls
itself the religion of love."
"You are perfectly right. And I also am too honest a man to consent to
the pitiful compromises and casuistries, which most clergymen drag with
them through life as galley-slaves do the chains which grow into their
flesh. I wish to have nothing to do with the so-called established
church, and abhor or pity the delusion that religion can be managed in
bulk, like a joint stock company, on whose terms a deed of partnership
is drawn up. There has never been a revelation, which has come from
heaven to earth as of universal validity. _At every moment_ the fulness
of God's mercy is revealed anew, the Son of Man dies again, sinful
mortals are saved once more by the Saviour's blood. But no one knows or
perceives anything of this, except those, who have not exchanged the
gold of their love for God, for the base coin of the so-called love for
one's neighbor, only to be beggars when God demands a sacrifice. We
have only one neighbor, God himself. Our lives are nothing but an act
of mercy on the part of the Creator, who by means of a temporary
separation from him, arouses the wish, the desire, the passionate
longing for a re-union, and thereby affords us the first conscious
delight of sinking back into eternity. The souls who never attain to
this, are, as it were, only the dark elements in the nature of God, and
in the great crucible of time will be separated from the purer ore and
cast aside like dross."
"Go on," said Edwin after a pause, as his companion relapsed into
silence. "I make no reply, because I have perceived it is utterly
useless to work against such a fantastic condition of the soul. But I
am always interested in watching this singular state of profound
thought, which does not rest until having reached the highest pitch,
the overstrained powers suddenly relapse into a voluptuous repose."
Lorinser paused again and cast one of those side glances, which so
strangely distorted his features, at his companion.
"I see you have a tolerably good theoretical knowledge of the matter,"
said he. "Perhaps you may also be nearer the experience than you
suppose. The unsatisfactoriness of the usual sensible analysis of the
problem of life, must have long since been evident to you, as well as
every other honest thinker. But most men, when they come to the point
where their world is nailed up with boards, are modest enough to see
the bounds of all human knowledge here, and turn back again like good
sheep, who hit their heads against the sides of their pen. My dear sir,
the fence is not so high, that with proper headway it cannot be
overleaped, and the bound is so far from being a _salto mortale_, that
the true life only begins on the other side. God is transcendent. If we
are to approach him, we must _spring upward_."
"And do you believe that this leap depends solely upon our own
inclinations?"
"Not entirely. Not every one, even if dissatisfaction gnaws at his
soul, has obtained the power to lend his spirit wings. There are
natures, like those of our good Frau Valentin, who lack the necessary
elasticity. But where it does exist, it can, like any other power, be
strengthened and steeled."
"I should be greatly obliged," said Edwin smiling, "if when occasion
offers, you would give me farther instruction in these gymnastics. But
I have now reached my home. I must not ask you to take the trouble to
go in with me. The old staircase is dark and steep, and one is obliged
to grope his way step by step, an easier operation for a dialectician
of my stamp, than for him who without assistance soars through the
seven heavens."
Lorinser did not seem to hear the jest. His eyes were intently fixed
upon a female figure, which had approached the house from the other
side a short time before them, and with a hasty bow to Edwin entered.
"Who is that lady?" he asked.
"One of the lodgers in our house, a very talented musician, who lives
in great seclusion, so great that I can tell you no more about her."
"Will you allow me to look in upon you a moment?" replied Lorinser,
stepping into the entry before Edwin.
Balder looked up from his book in surprise, when his brother entered
with his singular companion. His soft, expressive eyes rested on the
strange face for a short time, but soon seemed to have perceived all he
thought worthy of notice, and remained persistently fixed on the
sunlight that bathed the branches of the acacia tree.
The youth's appearance was evidently more attractive to Lorinser. He
instantly directed the conversation back to his mystical experiences,
revelations, and divine joys, as he termed them, and turning with
unconcealed admiration toward Balder, declared that he seemed specially
fitted by nature to penetrate the depths of these secrets. He would, if
permitted, introduce him to other chosen spirits, by whom disclosures
would be made that would render his present relations to life, shallow
and profitless.
Edwin contented himself with now and then throwing in a sarcastic
question, which Lorinser merely noticed by a shrug of the shoulders,
but Balder, who met all his entreaties with unmoved composure, answered
shortly, that he was not in the habit of going out and felt no longing
for any other wonders than those revealed by his senses and quiet
thoughts.
"You will think differently, when you are farther initiated," replied
Lorinser. "I can boldly assert, that without suspecting it, you are in
an unusual degree a child of God. The hour will come--"
Here he was interrupted by the entrance of Reginchen, who brought the
brothers their dinner. Lorinser only vouchsafed her a passing glance,
and the dishes she carried did not seem to him sufficiently choice to
induce him to remain longer. He begged permission to come again at an
early day, and withdrew smiling at Balder, who did not perceive it, as
he was limping around the room helping Reginchen set the table.
"Dear me," said the fair haired girl, as the retreating footsteps
glided over the stairs, "what a queer gentleman that is! I'd rather
have mother scold me half a day, than listen to his husky voice and
hear him creep about as if he had on felt slippers, for half an hour.
It's fortunate he never looks any one straight in the eye, for if he
did nobody could endure it, at least not I. Did you notice, Herr
Walter: the whites of his eyes are like mother of pearl, or the
quicksilver in our thermometer. He looks very ghostly, not like
anything human."
"You foreboding angel!" cried Edwin laughing. "But don't be afraid of
him, Reginchen. This godly fellow won't come again very soon; he saw
that he had no power over our souls, and our flesh--I mean the
excellent piece of meat your mother has sent up to us to-day--did not
tempt his appetite."
"I hope you may be right," said Balder. "But I'm afraid we shall not
get rid of this gloomy guest so quickly; he's only watching for a more
favorable opportunity to steal in again, though I don't understand what
he hopes to find here."
"We'll wait till he does, and if necessary use our right to close our
doors. He has left us his card: 'Unter den Linden, No. 10.' Of course
in the most fashionable locality. The children of God, who neither sow
nor reap, since their Heavenly Father feeds them, can afford themselves
every luxury, while we children of the world--but you're right,
Reginchen, the dinner will get cold. Come, child, let me pour you out a
glass of wine. I'll take water myself, to cool my indignation over the
false prophet."