But I fear they are not always as cautious and discriminating, as the
occasion appears to demand. How very different would have been the fate of
the poor strolling player, whom Goldsmith so pleasantly describes, had he
taken a little more pains--only a little--to propitiate "_the lady, who
had been nine months in London_!"
The managers, upon such occasions, should never omit the most careful
espionage, into the musical pretensions of every member of the press--I
speak of their pretensions, and not of their actual knowledge--that, in
the present connection, is of little importance: and, when they discover
one of this powerful brotherhood, who, in musical matters, would be
thought to know more than his neighbors, however mistaken he may be--let
them pay him particular attention--let them procure him an excellent
seat--once--twice perhaps--express a hope, that he is well
accommodated--and occasionally, during the performance, be sure to catch
his eye, as if with a "fearful longing after immortality," such as
tomorrow's leader may possibly confer on the candidate for fame. How often
the omission to observe these simple rules has been followed, by faint
praise, and invidious discriminations!
No. CVII.
My great grandmother used to say, that she never desired to be told, that
anything was broken, in her household; for, though she had been a
housekeeper, for fifty years, nothing was ever broken, in her family, that
had not been cracked before. I have the very same feeling in regard to the
majority of all inventions and discoveries; for some ingenious fellow
invariably presents himself, who, as it turns out, had verified the
suggestion already.
I never found my mind in a very feverish condition, while pursuing the
inquiry, whether the art of medicine was first invented, by Hermes, Isis,
or Osiris; nor while examining the arguments, ingenious though they are,
of Clemens Alexandrinus, to prove, that Moses was a very respectable
apothecary.
I have ever supposed, that Necessity, the mother of invention, was the
inventress of the blessed art; and that the origin was somewhat on this
wise:--before the transgression, all went on well--there were neither
aches nor ails--the apple certainly disagreed with Adam--he sought relief,
by hunting for an antidote; and finding great comfort, in chewing such
carminative herbs, as catmint and pennyroyal, he prescribed them to the
sharer of his joys and sorrows. It is quite likely, that, with no family,
and a great deal of time upon her hands, while walking in her garden, as
poppies were not forbidden, Eve, to satisfy her curiosity, might have
sucked their narcotic juice; and thus acquired a knowledge of opiates, so
useful, ever since the fall.
Physicking was, at first, a very general affair. Whether benevolence, or
the desire of a little reputation lies at the bottom, there has ever
existed, among mankind, a pungent, irresistible desire to physick one
another. It is to be regretted, that Irenaeus, who was just the man for it,
had not given a few years of his life to ascertain, if Eve, during the
parturition of Cain, or Abel, received any alleviation, from slippery elm.
Plato, Theoctet. p. 149, says, the midwives of Athens did great, good
service, on these occasions, with certain drugs and charms.
In the beginning, so little was to be known, upon this subject, it is not
wonderful, that almost every man should have known that little. Thus,
according to Homer, Od. iv., 320, every Egyptian was a doctor:--
"From Paeon sprung, their patron god imparts
To all the Pharian race his healing arts."
Herodotus, who was born, about 484, B. C., in Book II. of his history,
sec. 84, speaks distinctly of the fact, that the Egyptian _doctors_ were
not physicians, in the general sense, but confined their practice,
respectively, to particular diseases. The passage may be thus
translated--_Now, in truth, the art of medicine with them was so
distributed, that their physicians managed particular disorders, and not
diseases generally; thus, though all were referred to the physicians, some
were doctors for the eyes, some for the head, some for the teeth, some for
the belly, and some for the occult diseases_.
The first mention of physicians, in Holy Writ, is in Genesis, 50, 2--"_And
Joseph commanded his servants, the physicians, to embalm his father: and
the physicians embalmed Israel_." _Physicians_, to this extent, were
mechanical operators; and the celebrated physicians of Greece, Chiron,
Machaon, Podalirius, Poeon, and even AEsculapius, were _surgeons_. Their
art, as Pliny says, did not go beyond curing a green wound. The cure of
internal, or complicated, disorders was beyond their province. Celsus
says, that Podalirius and Machaon, the physicians, who went with
Agamemnon, to the wars of Troy, were never employed, to cure the plague,
or internal maladies, nor anything but external injuries.
No physician was required to manage external applications, in certain
cases of common occurrence. In Kings II. xx. 7, Hezekiah appears to have
thought himself extremely sick; when Isaiah applied a poultice of figs to
his boil, and he soon was upon his legs again. This seems to have been
accounted a remarkable cure, in those days, for Isaiah thought it worth
repeating, xxxviii. 21. Job does not appear to have resorted to fig
poultices, nor to any remedies, whatever: and, while Hezekiah behaved like
a great baby, and wept bitterly, Job toughed it out, like a man; and,
instead of mourning and murmuring, under the torment, not of one, but of
countless boils, he poured forth torrents of incomparable eloquence, all
the while, on various topics.
Job's affliction, being viewed in the light of a direct judgment, it was
deemed quite outrageous, by many, to stave off the wrath of Heaven, by
interposing fig poultices, or remedies of any kind. Thus it appears, that
Asa suffered severely with the gout; and there is a sharp fling against
him, Chron. II. xvi. 12, on account of his want of faith--"_Yet in his
disease he sought not to the Lord, but to the physicians_."
This seems to be in accordance, with the opinion of those modern Fathers,
who consider the use of ether or chloroform, in obstetric cases, a point
blank insult to the majesty of Heaven, because of the primeval fiat--_in
sorrow shalt thou bring forth children_.
The race of Cyclops entertained a similar sentiment of submission, in
sickness, according to Homer, Od. IX. 485. When _Oudeis_ (_Anglice Noman_)
which always seemed to me an undignified pun, for an Epic, had put out the
eye of Polyphemus, his roaring collected the neighboring giants. They
inquired, outside the portal, what was the matter; and he replied, that
_Oudeis_--_Noman_--was killing him; upon which they reply--
"If _Noman_ hurts thee, but the power divine
Inflict disease, it fits thee to resign.
To Jove or to thy father Neptune pray,
The Cyclops cried, and instant strode away."
The theory was, that God worked upon mortals, by the agency of a great
number and variety of evil spirits, or devils; and that the employment of
remedial means was therefore neither more nor less, than withstanding the
Almighty. Hence arose the custom, being supposed less offensive, in the
sight of Heaven, of resorting to charms and incantations; and of employing
diviners and magicians; and, as old Sir Robert Walpole is reported to have
said, that every man has his price; so it was supposed to be the case,
with those devils, who were engaged, in the system of tormenting mankind.
Instead therefore of turning directly to the Lord, the sufferers were much
in the habit of making their propitiatory suit, directly, to some false
god, or influential demon. Of this we have an example, in Kings II. i. 2,
et seq. Ahaziah, King of Israel, went up into his garret, probably, in the
dark, and fell through the scuttle. He was severely bruised, and sent a
messenger, post haste, to Ekron, to consult the false god, Baalzebub.
Elisha, who, though a prophet, had no reputation, as a physician, was
consulted by Hazael and by Naaman, about their distempers.
Enchantments, talismans, music, phylacteries were in use, among the
Hebrews, and formed no small part of their _materia medica_. Charms were
used, as preventives against the bites of serpents. "Who," says
Ecclesiasticus xii. 13, "_will pity a charmer, that is bitten with a
serpent_?" This seems not to have availed, against the deaf adder,
"which," Psalm lviii. 5, "_will not hearken to the voice of charmers,
charming never so wisely_." And Jeremiah, viii. 17, declares, that the
Lord will send cockatrices and serpents, that will not be charmed, upon
any terms whatever.
Some verses are preserved, by Cato, De Re Rustica, art. 160, which were
used, in reducing a dislocated member. Dr. Johnson has informed us, though
without naming his authority, that ABRACADABRA was a superstitious charm,
against agues.
It is quite amusing, while reading Sir Thomas Browne's remarks on
quackery, in his Pseudodoxia, ch. xi. to see how readily he admits satanic
agency, himself. Take the following passage--"When Gracchus was slain, the
same day the chickens refused to come out of the coop; and Claudius
Pulcher underwent the like success, when he commanded the tripudiary
augurations; they died, not because the pullets would not feed, but
because the devil foresaw their death, and contrived that abstinence in
them."
Sir Thomas was a wise and safe counsellor, in all cases, in which there
was no chance for the devil to operate; but whenever there was a loop
hole, according to the belief in those days, for diabolical influence to
creep through, no man was more inclined to give the devil his due, than
Sir Thomas.
In this chapter, designed to be purely philosophical, he says of
satan--"He deludeth us also by philters, ligatures, charms, ungrounded
amulets, characters, and many superstitious ways, in the cure of common
diseases, seconding herein the expectation of men with events of his own
contriving, which, while some, unwilling to fall directly upon magic,
impute unto the power of imagination, or the efficacy of hidden causes, he
obtains a bloody advantage." This description of the devil and of his
manoeuvres so precisely fits the empiric, and all his proceedings, that I
should suspect Sir Thomas of the unusual sin of perpetrating a pleasantry;
and, under the devil's _effigies_, presenting the image of a charlatan;
were it not, for the knowledge we have of this great and good man's
credulity, and his firm belief in satanic realities; and, that, in part
upon his own testimony, two miserable women were condemned and executed,
for witchcraft.
No. CVIII.
John Jahn says, in his Biblical Archaeology, Upham's translation, page 105,
that, in Babylon, when first attacked with disease, the patients were
placed in the streets, for the purpose of ascertaining, from casual
passengers, what practices or medicines _they_ had found useful, in
similar cases. Imagine a poor fellow, suddenly attacked with a windy
colic, and deposited for this purpose, in State Street, in the very place,
formerly occupied, by the razor-strop man, or the magnolia merchant! If it
be true--I very much doubt it--that, in a multitude of counsellors, there
is safety, this must be an excellent arrangement for the patient.
I have often thought, that benevolence was getting to be an epidemic;
particularly when I have noticed the attentions of one or two hundred
charitably disposed persons, gathered about a conservative horse, that
would not budge an inch. They have not the slightest interest in the
horse, nor in the driver--it's nothing under heaven, but pure brotherly
love. The driver is distracted, by the advice of some twenty persons,
pointing with sticks and umbrellas, in every direction, and all
vociferating together. In the meanwhile, three or four volunteers are
belaboring the shins of the refractory beast, while as many are rapping
his nose with their sticks. Four stout fellows, at least, are trying to
shove the buggy forward, and as many exerting their energies, to shove the
horse backward. Half a dozen sailors, attracted by the noise, tumble up to
the rescue; three seize the horse's head, and pull _a starboard_, and
three take him, by the tail, and pull _to larboard_, and all yell
together, to the driver, to put his helm hard down. At last, urged, by
rage, terror, and despair, the poor brute shakes off his persecutors, with
a rear, and a plunge, and a leap, and dashes through the bow window of a
confectioner's shop, or of some dealer in naked women, done in Parian.
I am very sorry we have been delayed, by this accident. Let us proceed.
Never has there been known, among men, a more universal diffusion of such
a little modicum of knowledge. The knowledge of the materia medica and of
pathology, what there was of it, seems to have been held, by the
Babylonians, as tenants in common, and upon the Agrarian principle--every
man and woman had an equal share of it. Such, according to John Jahn,
Professor of Orientals in Vienna, was the state of therapeutics, in
Babylon.
The Egyptians carried their sick into the temples of Serapis--the Greeks
to those of AEsculapius. Written receipts were preserved there, for the
cure of different diseases. Professor Jahn certainly seems disposed to
make the most of the knowledge of physic and surgery, among the
Israelites. He says they had "_some acquaintance with chirurgical
operations_." In support of this opinion, he refers to the rite of
circumcision, and to--nothing else. He also says, that it is evident
"_physicians sometimes undertook to exercise their skill, in removing
diseases of an internal nature_."
If the reader is good at conundrums, will he be so obliging as to _guess_,
upon what evidence the worthy professor grounds this assertion? I perceive
he gives it up--Well--on Samuel I. xvi. 16. And what sayeth Samuel?--"And
Saul's servants said unto him, behold now an evil spirit from God
troubleth thee. Let our Lord now command thy servants, which are before
thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on a harp: and it shall
come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall
play with his hand, and thou shalt be well." This, reduced into plain
language, is simply this--Saul's servants took the liberty of telling his
majesty, that the devil was in him, and he had better have a little music.
Accordingly, David was called in--_as a physician_, according to Jahn--and
drove the devil out of Saul, by playing on his Jews'-harp. Jahn also
informs us, and the Bible did before, that the art of healing was
committed to the priests, who were specially bound, by law, "_to take
cognizance of leprosies_." There were, as he admits, other _physicians_,
probably of little note. _The priests_ were the regular, legalized
faculty. On this ground, we can explain the severe reproach, cast upon
Asa, who, when he had the gout, "_sought not the Lord but to the
physician_:" that is, he did not seek the Lord, in prayer, through the
intermediation of the regular faculty, the priests.
There are ecclesiastics among us, who consider, that the Levitical law is
obligatory upon the priesthood, throughout the United States of America,
at the present day; and who believe it to be _their_ bounden duty, to take
cognizance of leprosies, and all other disorders; and to physick the
bodies, not less than the souls, of their respective parishioners. To this
I sturdily object--not at all, from any doubt of their ability, to
practise the profession, as skilfully, as did the son of Jesse, and to
drive out devils with a Jews'-harp; and to cure all manner of diseases, in
the same manner, in which the learned Kircherus avers, according to Sir
Thomas Browne, vol. ii. page 536, Lond. 1835, the bite of the tarantula is
cured, by songs and tunes; and to soothe boils as big as King Hezekiah's,
with fig poultices, according to Scripture; for I have the greatest
reverence for that intuition, whereby such men are spared those _studia
annorum_, so necessary for the acquirement of any tolerable knowledge of
the art of medicine, by all, who are not in holy orders. My objection is
of quite another kind--I object to the union of the cure of souls and the
cure of bodies, in the same person; as I object to the union of Church and
State, and to the union of the power of the purse and the power of the
sword. It is true, withal, that when a sufferer is killed, by ministerial
physic, which never can happen, of course, but for the patient's want of
faith, nobody dreams of such an irreverent proceeding, as pursuing the
officious priest, for _mala praxis_.
Priests and witches, jugglers, and old women have been the earliest
practitioners of medicine, in every age, and every nation: and the
principal, preventive, and remedial medicines, in all the primitive,
unwritten pharmacopaeias, have been consecrated herbs and roots, charms and
incantations, amulets and prayers, and the free use of the Jews'-harp. The
reader has heard the statement of Professor Jahn. In 1803, Dr.
Winterbottom, physician to the colony of Sierra Leone, published, in
London, a very interesting account of the state of medicine, in that
colony. He says, that the practice of physic, in Africa, is entirely in
the hands of old women. These practitioners, like the servants of Saul,
believe, that almost all diseases are caused by evil spirits; in other
words, that their patients are bedevilled: and they rely, mainly, on
charms and incantations. Dr. W. states, that the natives get terribly
drunk, at funerals--funerals produce drunkenness--drunkenness produces
fevers--fevers produce death--and death produces funerals. All this is
imputed to witchcraft, acting in a circle.
In the account of the Voyage of the Ship Duff to Tongataboo, in 1796, the
missionaries give a similar statement of the popular notion, as to the
origin of diseases--the devil is at the bottom of them all; and exorcism
the only remedy.
In Mill's British India, vol. ii. p. 185, Lond. 1826, the reader may find
a statement of the paltry amount of knowledge, on the subject, not only of
medicine, but of surgery, among the Hindoos: "Even medicine and surgery,
to the cultivation of which so obvious and powerful an interest invites,
had scarcely attracted the rude understanding of the Hindus."
Sir William Jones, in the Asiatic Researches, vol. i. p. 354, says, "there
is no evidence, that, in any language of Asia, there exists one original
treatise on medicine, considered as a science." Crawford, in his
Sketches, and he has an exalted opinion of the Hindoos, states, that
surgery is unknown among them; and, that, in cases of wounds from the
sabre or musket, they do no more than wash the wound; bind it up with
fresh leaves, and keep the patient on rice gruel. Buchanan, in his
journey, through Mysore, vol. i. p. 336, informs us, that medicine was in
the hands of ignorant and impudent charlatans. Origen, who was born, about
185 A. D., states that the Egyptians believed thirty-six devils divided
the human body, among them; and that diseases were cured, by supplication
and sacrifice, to the particular devil, within whose precinct the malady
lay. This is a convenient kind of practice. May it not have some relation
to the fact, referred to by Herodotus, in his History, book ii. sec. 84,
that the doctors, in Egypt, were not practitioners, in a general sense,
but for one part of the body only. Possibly, though I affirm nothing of
the sort, Origen may have written _devils_ for _doctors_, by mistake: for
the doctors, in those days, were, manifestly, very little better.
If it be true--_et quis negat?_--that Hippocrates was the father of
physic--the child was neither born nor begotten, before its father, of
course, and Hippocrates was born, about 400 B. C., which, according to
Calmet, was about 600 years after David practised upon Saul, with his
Jews'-harp. His genealogy was quite respectable. He descended from
AEsculapius, through a long line of doctors; and, by the mother's side, he
was the eighteenth from Hercules, who was, of course, the great
grandfather of physic, at eighteen removes; and who, it will be
remembered, was an eminent practitioner, and doctored the Hydra. Divesting
the subject of all, that is magical and fantastical, Hippocrates thought
and taught such rational things, as no physician had thought and taught
before. It appears amazing to us, the uninitiated, that the healing art
should have been successfully practised at all, from the beginning of the
world, till 1628, in utter ignorance of the circulation of the blood; yet
it was in that year the discovery was made, when Dr. William Harvey
dedicated to Charles I. and published his _Exercitatio anatomica de motu
cordis et sanguinis_.
No. CIX.
Quackery may be found, in every vocation, from the humblest, to the
holiest.
_If the dead rise not at all_, says St. Paul, _what shall they do, who are
baptized for the dead_! Nine different opinions are set forth, by Bosius,
in regard to the true meaning of this passage. Scaliger and Grotius, who
were men of common sense, conclude, that St. Paul referred to a practice,
existing at the time; and St. Chrysostom tells a frolicsome story of this
vicarious baptism; that a living sponsor was concealed under the bed of
the defunct, and answered all the questions, put by the sagacious priest,
to the corpse, about to be baptized.
The dead have been, occasionally, through inadvertence, summoned to give
evidence, in courts of justice. But, fortunately for quacks, in every
department, dead men are mute upon the stand.
Saul, if we may believe the singing women, who came out to meet him, after
the fall of Goliath, hath slain his thousands; and, could dead men
testify, it would, doubtless, appear, that quacks have slain their tens of
thousands. When we consider the overbearing influence of that ignorant,
impudent, and plausible jabber, which the quack has always at command, it
must be admitted, that these, his fatal victories, are achieved, with the
very same weapon, employed by Samson, in his destruction of the
Philistines.
There is nothing marvellous, in the existence of quackery, if we recognize
the maxim of M. Sorbiere, in his _Relation d'une Voiage en Angleterre_, p.
155, _homo est animal credulum et mendax_--man is a credulous and lying
animal. David said, that all men were liars; but, as this is found in one
of his lyrics, and he admits, that he uttered it in haste, it may be
fairly carried to the account of _poetica licentia_. With no more,
however, than a moderate allowance, for man's notorious diathesis towards
lying, for pleasure or profit, it is truly wonderful, that credulity
should preserve its relative level, as it does, and ever has done, since
the world began. Many, who will not go an inch with the Almighty, without
a sign, will deliver their noses, for safe keeping, into the hands of a
charlatan, and be led by him, blindfold, to the charnel-house. Take away
credulity, and the world would speedily prove an exhausted receiver, for
all manner of quackery.
At the close of the seventeenth century, there was a famous impostor in
France, whom the royal family, on account of his marvellous powers,
invited to Paris. His name was James Aymar. I shall speak of him more
fully hereafter; and refer to him, at present, in connection with a remark
of Leibnitz. Aymar's imposture had no relation to the healing art, but the
remark of Leibnitz is not, on that account, the less applicable. That
great man wrote a letter, in 1694, which may be found in the Journal of
Tenzelius, in which he refers to Aymar's fraud, and to his subsequent
confession, before the Prince of Conde. Aymar said, according to Leibnitz,
that he was led on, _non tam propria audacia, quam aliena credulitate
hominum, falli volentium, et velut obtrudentium sibi_--not so much by his
own audacity, as by the credulity of others, who were not only willing to
be cheated, but actually thrust themselves upon him. All Paris was
occupied, in attempting to explain the mystery of Aymar's performances,
with his wonderful wand: and Leibnitz says--
_Nuper scripsi Parisios, utilius et examine dignius, mihi videri problema
morale vel logicum, quomodo tot viri insignes Lugduni in fraudem ducti
fuerint, quam illud pseudo-physicum, quomodo virga coryllacea tot miracula
operetur_--I wrote lately to the Parisians, that a solution of the moral
or logical problem, how it happened, that so many distinguished persons,
in Lyons, came to be taken in, seemed to me of much greater utility, and
far more worthy of investigation, than how this fellow performed miracles,
with his hazel wand.
It is worth noting, perhaps, that Leibnitz himself, according to the
statement of the Abbe Conti, in the _Gazzette Litteraire_, for 1765, fell
a victim to a quack medicine, given him by a Jesuit, for the gout.
Ignorance is the hotbed of credulity. This axiom is not the less
respectable, because the greatest philosophers, occasionally, place
confidence in the veriest fools, and do their bidding. Wise and learned
men, beyond the pale of their professional pursuits, or peculiar studies,
are, very frequently, the simplest of simple folk--_non omnia possumus
omnes_. Ignorance must be very common; for a vast majority of the human
race have not proceeded so far, in the great volume of wisdom and
knowledge, as that profitable but humiliating chapter, whose perusal is
likely to stimulate their energies, by convincing them, that they are of
yesterday and know nothing. Credulity must therefore be very common.
Credulity has very little scope, for its fantastical operations among the
exact sciences. Who does not foresee the fate of a geometrical quack, who
should maintain, that the square of the hypothenuse, in a right-angled
triangle, is either greater or less than the sum of the squares of the
sides; or of the quack arithmetician, who would persuade our housewives,
that of two and two pounds of Muscovado sugar, he had actually discovered
the art of making five?
The healing art--the science of medicine, cannot be placed, in the exact
category.
It is a popular saying, that _there is a glorious uncertainty in the law_.
This opinion has been ably considered, by that most amiable and learned
man, the late John Pickering, in his lecture, on the alleged uncertainty
of the law--before the Society for the Diffusion of Useful Knowledge, in
1834. The credulity of the client, to which Mr. Pickering does not refer,
must, in some cases, be of extraordinary strength and quality. After
presenting a case to his counsel, as favorably to himself as he can, and
carefully suppressing much, that is material and adverse, he fondly
believes, that his advocate will be able to mesmerise the court and jury,
and procure a verdict, in opposition to the facts, apparent at the trial.
He is disappointed of course; and then he complains of the uncertainty of
the law, instead of the uncertainty of the facts.
In a dissertation, before the Medical Society, in June, 1828, Dr. George
Cheyne Shattuck, after setting forth a melancholy catalogue of the
troubles and perplexities of the medical profession, concludes by saying,
that "all these trials, to which the physician is subjected, do not equal
that, which proceeds from the _uncertainty_ of the healing art." When we
contrast this candid avowal, from an accomplished and experienced
physician, with the splendid promises, and infallible assurances of
empirics--with their balms of Gilead, panaceas, and elixirs of everlasting
life--we cannot marvel, that the larger part of all the invalids, in this
uncertain and credulous world, fly from those conservative professors, who
promise nothing, to such as will assure them of a perfect relief, from
their maladies, no matter how complicated, or chronic, they may be--with
four words of inspiriting import--NO CURE NO PAY.
I am no physician; my opinion therefore is not presented _ex cathedra_:
but the averment of Dr. Shattuck is, I presume, to be viewed in no other
light, than as the opinion of an honorable man, who would rather claim too
little, than too much, for his own profession: who would rather perform
more, than he has promised, than promise more, than he can perform. If the
regularly bred and educated physician complains of uncertainty, none but a
madman would seek for its opposite, in the palace, or the kennel, of a
quack; for the charlatan may occasionally be found in either.
The first thing to be done, I suppose, by the regular doctor, is to
ascertain what the disease is. This, I believe, is the very last thing,
thought of by the charlatan. He is spared the labor of all pathological
inquiry, for all his medicines are, fortunately, panaceas. Thus, he
administers a medicine, for the gout; the patient does not happen to have
the gout, but the gravel; it is the same thing; for the physic, like our
almanacs, was calculated, for different meridians.
These gentlemen sometimes limit their practice to particular diseases,
cancers, fistulas, fevers, &c. A memorial was presented, some few years
since, to the legislature of Alabama, for the establishment of a medical
college, to be devoted, exclusively, to vegetable practice. A shrewd, old
member of the assembly rose, and spoke, much after this fashion--I shall
support this measure, Mr. Speaker, on one condition, that a neighbor of
mine shall be appointed president of this college. It is proper,
therefore, that you should know how far he is qualified. He was a
travelling merchant; dealt chiefly in apple-trade and other notions, and
failed. He had once taken an old book, on fevers, in exchange for
essences. This he got by heart. Fevers are common with us. He was a man of
some tact; and, a week after he failed, he put up his sign, "BELA BODKIN,
FEVER DOCTOR--ROOTS AND HERBS--F. R. S.--L. L. D.--M. D. No charge to the
poor or the reverend clergy."--When asked, what he meant by adding those
capital letters to his name, he said the alphabet was common property;
that F. R. S. stood for Feverfew, Ragwort, and Slippery Elm--L. L. D. for
Liverwort, Lichens, and Dill--and M. D. for Milk Diet.
The thing took--his garret was crowded, from morning till night, and the
regular doctor was driven out of that town. Those, who got well,
proclaimed Dr. Bodkin's praises--those, who died, were a very silent
majority. Everybody declared, of the dead, 'twas a pity they had applied
too late. Bodkin was once called to a farmer's wife. He entered the house,
with his book under his arm, saying FEVER! with a loud voice, as he
crossed the threshhold. This evidence of his skill was astonishing.
Without more than a glance at the patient, he asked the farmer, if he had
a sorrel sheep; and, being told, that he had never heard of such a thing,
he inquired, if he had a sorrel horse. The farmer replied, that he had,
and a very valuable one. Dr. Bodkin assured him the horse must be killed
immediately, and a broth made of the _in'ards_ for the sick wife. The
farmer hesitated; the wife groaned; the doctor opened the book, and showed
his authority--there it was--readable enough--"_sheep sorrel, horse
sorrel, good in fevers_." The farmer smiled--the doctor departed in anger,
saying, as he went, "you may decide which you will sacrifice, your wife or
your nag." The woman died, and, shortly after, the horse. The neighbors
considered the farmer a hard-hearted man--the wife a victim to the
husband's selfishness--the sudden death of the horse a particular
providence--and Dr. Bodkin the most skilful of physicians.
No. CX.
No class of men, not even the professors of the wrangling art, are, and
ever have been, more universally used and abused, than the members of the
medical profession. It has always appeared to me, that this abuse has been
occasioned, in some degree, by the pompous air and Papal pretensions of
certain members of the faculty; for the irritation of disappointment is,
in the ratio of encouragement and hope; and the tongue of experience can
have little to say of the infallibility of the medical art. The candid
admission of its uncertainty, by Dr. Shattuck, in his dissertation, to
which I have referred, is the true mode of erecting a barrier, between
honorable and intelligent practitioners, and charlatans.
The opinion of Cato and of Pliny, in regard to the art is, of course, to
be construed, with an allowance, for its humble condition, in their day.
With the exception of the superstitious, and even magical, employment of
roots and herbs, it consisted, essentially, in externals. There was
nothing like a systematic nosology. The [Greek: iatroi] of Athens, and the
_medici_ of Rome were _vulnerarii_, or surgeons. Cato, who died at the age
of 85, U. C. 605, is reported, by Pliny, lib. xxix. cap. 7, to have said
of the doctors, in a letter to his son Marcus--_Jurarunt inter se,
barbaros, necare omnes, medicina_. They have sworn among themselves,
barbarians as they are, to kill us all with their physic. In cap. 5 of the
same book, he thus expresses his opinion--_mutatur ars quotidie, toties
interpolis, et ingeniorum Greciae flatu impellimur: palamque est, ut
quisque inter istos loquendo polleat, imperatorem illico vitae nostrae
necisque fieri: ceu vero non millia gentium sine medicis degant_. The art
is varying, from day to day: as often as a change takes place, we are
driven along, by some new wind of doctrine from Greece. When it becomes
manifest, that one of these doctors gains the ascendency, by his
harangues, he becomes, upon the spot, the arbiter of our life and death;
as though there were not thousands of the nations, who got along without
doctors. In the same passage he says, the art was not practised, among the
Romans, until the sixth hundredth year, from the building of the city.
The healing art seems to have been carried on, in those days, with fire
and sword, that is, with the knife and the cautery. In cap. 6, of the same
book, Pliny tells us, that, U. C. 535, _Romam venisse--vulnerarium--mireque
gratum adventum ejus initio: mox a saevitia secandi urendique transisse
nomen in carnificem, et in taedium artem_--there came to Rome a surgeon,
who was, at first, cordially received, but, shortly, on account of his
cuttings and burnings, they called him a butcher, and his art a nuisance.
A professional wrestler, who was unsuccessful, in his profession, met
Diogenes, the cynic, as we are told, by Diog. Laertius, in Vita, lib. vi.
p. 60, and told him, that he had given up wrestling, and taken to
physic--"_Well done_," said the philosopher, "_now thou wilt be able to
throw those, who have thrown thee_."
The revolutions, which took place, in the practice of the healing art,
previously to the period, when Pliny composed his Natural History, are
certainly remarkable. Chrysippus, as far as he was able, overthrew the
system of Hippocrates; Erasistratus overthrew the system of Chrysippus;
the Empirics, or experimentalists, overthrew, to the best of their
ability, the system of Erasistratus; Herophilus did the very same thing,
for the Empirics; Asclepiades turned the tables, upon Herophilus; Vexius
Valens next came into vogue, as the leader of a sect; then Thessalus, in
Nero's age, opposed all previous systems; the system of Thessalus was
overthrown by Crinas of Marseilles; and so on, to the end of the
chapter--which chapter, by the way, somewhat resembles the first chapter
of Matthew, substituting the word _overthrew_ for the word _begat_.
Water doctors certainly existed, in those ancient days. After Crinas, says
Pliny, cap. 5, of the same book, there came along one--_damnatis non solum
prioribus medicis, verum, et balineis; frigidaque etiam hibernis algoribus
lavari persuasit. Mergit aegros in lacus. Videbamus senes consulares usque
in ostentationem rigentes. Qua de re exstat etiam Annaei Senecae stipulatio.
Nec dubium est omnes istos famam novitate aliqua aucupantes anima statim
nostra negotiari._ Condemning not only all former physicians, but the
baths, then in use, he persuaded his patients to use cold water, during
the rigors of winter. He plunged sick folks in ponds. We have seen certain
aged, consular gentlemen, freezing themselves, from sheer ostentation. We
have the personal statement of Annaeus Seneca, in proof of this practice.
Nor can it be doubted, that those quacks, greedily seeking fame, by the
production of some novelty, would readily bargain away any man's life, for
lucre. The statement of Seneca, to which Pliny refers, may be found in
Seneca's letters, 53, and 83, both to Lucilius; in which he tells his
friend, that, according to his old usage, he bathed in the Eurypus, upon
the Kalends of January.
It would be easy to fill a volume, with the railings of such peevish
philosophers, as Michael De Montaigne, against all sorts of physic and
physicians. We are very apt to treat doctors and deities, in the same
way--to scoff at them, in health, and fly to them, in sickness.
That was a pertinent question of Cicero's, lib. i. de Divinatione, 14. _An
Medicina, ars non putanda est, quam tamen multa fallunt? * * * num
imperatorum scientia nihil est, quia summus imperator nuper fugit, amisso
exercitu? Aut num propterea nulla est reipublicae gerendae ratio atque,
prudentia, quia multa Cn. Pompeium, quaedam Catonem, nonnulla etiam te
ipsum fe fellerunt?_ As to medicine shall it be accounted not an art,
because of the great uncertainty therein? What, then, is there no such
thing as military skill, because a great commander lately fled, and lost
his army? Can there be no such thing as a wise and prudent government,
because Pompey has been often mistaken, even Cato sometimes, and yourself,
now and then?
If much more than all, that has been proclaimed, were true, in regard to
the uncertainty of the healing art, still the practice of seeking some
kind of counsel and assistance, whenever a screw gets loose, in our
tabernacle of the flesh, is not likely to go out of fashion. What shall we
do? Follow the tetotum doctor, and swallow a purge, if P. come uppermost?
This is good evidence of our faith, in the doctrine of uncertainty. Or
shall we go for the doctor, who works the cheapest? There is no reason,
why we should not cheapen our physic, if we cheapen our salvation; for
pack horses of all sorts, lay and clerical, are accounted the better
workers, when they are rather low in flesh. Or shall we follow the example
of the mutual admiration society, and get up a mutual physicking
association? Most men are pathologists, by intuition. I have been
perfectly astonished to find how many persons, especially females and root
doctors, know just what ails their neighbors, upon the very first hint of
their being out of order, without even seeing them.
It is a curious fact, that, while men of honor, thoroughly educated, and
who have devoted their whole lives, to the study and practice of the
healing art, candidly admit its uncertainty, the ignorant and unprincipled
of the earth alone, who have impudently resorted to the vocation,
suddenly, and as an antidote to absolute starvation, boast of their
infallibility, and deal in nothing, but panaceas. The fools, in this
pleasant world, are such a respectable and wealthy minority, that the
charlatan will not cease from among us, until the last of mortals shall
have put on immortality: and then, like the fellow, who entered Charon's
boat, with his commodities, he will try to smuggle some of his patent
medicines, or _leetil doshes_, into the other world.
A curious illustration of the popular notion, that no man is guilty of any
presumptuous sin, merely because, after lying down, at night, a notorious
_pedler_ or _tinker_, he rises, in the morning, a _physician_, may be
found, in the fact, that a watchmaker, who would laugh at a tailor, should
he offer to repair a timekeeper, will readily confide in him, as a
physician, for himself, his wife, or his child.
The most delicate female will sometimes submit her person, to the rubbings
and manipulations of a blacksmith, in preference to following the
prescriptions of a regular physician. A respectable citizen, with a pimple
on the end of his nose, resembling, upon the testimony of a dozen old
ladies, in the neighborhood, the identical cancer, of which every one of
them was cured, by the famous Indian doctress, in Puzzlepot Alley, will,
now and then, give his confidence to a lying, ignorant, half-drunken
squaw, rather than to the most experienced member of the medical
profession.
Suffer me to close this imperfect sketch, with the words of Lord Bacon,
vol. i. page 120, Lond. 1824. "We see the weakness and credulity of men is
such, as they will often prefer a mountebank or witch, before a learned
physician. And therefore the poets were clear-sighted, in discerning this
extreme folly, when they made AEsculapius and Circe brother and sister.
For, in all times, in the opinion of the multitude, witches, and old
women, and impostors have had a competition with physicians. And what
followeth? Even this, that physicians say, to themselves, as Solomon
expresseth it, upon a higher occasion, _If it befall to me, as befalleth
to the fools, why should I labor to be more wise?_"
No. CXI.
Van Butchell, the fistula-doctor, in London, some forty years ago, had a
white horse, and he painted the animal, with many colored spots. He also
wore an enormous beard. These tricks were useful, in attracting notice. In
the Harleian Miscellany, vol. viii. page 135, Lond. 1810, there is a
clever article on quackery, published in 1678, from which I will extract a
passage or two, for the benefit of the fraternity: "Any sexton will
furnish you with a skull, in hope of your custom; over which hang up the
skeleton of a monkey, to proclaim your skill in anatomy. Let your table be
never without some old musty Greek or Arabic author, and the fourth book
of Cornelius Agrippa's Occult Philosophy, wide open, with half a dozen
gilt shillings, as so many guineas, received, that morning for fees. Fail
not to oblige neighboring ale-houses to recommend you to inquirers; and
hold correspondence with all the nurses and midwives near you, to applaud
your skill at gossippings. The admiring patient shall cry you up for a
scholar, provided always your nonsense be fluent, and mixed with a
disparagement of the college, graduated doctors, and book-learned
physicians. Pretend to the cure of all diseases, especially those, that
are incurable."
There are gentlemen of the medical and surgical professions, whose high
reputation, for science and skill, is perfectly established, and who have
humanely associated their honorable names with certain benevolent
societies. Such is the fact, in regard to Dr. John Collins Warren, who, by
his adoption of the broad ground of total abstinence from all intoxicating
liquors, as a beverage, by men in health, and by his consistent practice
and example, has become entitled to the grateful respect of every
well-wisher of the temperance cause. To the best of my ability, I have
long endeavored to do, for the sextons, the very thing, which that
distinguished man would accomplish for the doctors, and other classes.
Never did mortal more certainly oppose his own interest, than a physician,
or a sexton, who advocates the temperance reform.
There are, however, personages, in the medical profession, regulars, as
well as volunteers, who cling to certain societies, with the paralyzing
grasp of death--holding on to their very skirts, as boys cling behind our
vehicles, _to get a cast_. The patronage and advocacy of some of these
individuals are absolutely fatal. It may be surely affirmed of more than
one of their number, _nihil tetigit quod non damnavit_.
I have long been satisfied, that, without a great increase of societies,
it will be utterly impossible to satisfy the innumerable aspirants, for
the offices of President, Vice President, &c., in our ambitious community.
A sagacious, medical friend of mine, whose whole heart is devoted to the
public service, and I am sorry to say it, to the injury of his wife and
children, has handed me a list of several societies, for the want of
which, he assures me, the citizens of Boston are actually suffering, at
the present moment. For myself, I cannot pretend to judge of such
matters. A publication of the list may interest the benevolent, and,
possibly, promote the cause of humanity. I give it entire:--
A society, for soothing the feelings and relieving the apprehensions of
criminals, especially midnight assassins.
A mutual relief society, in case of flatulent colic.
A society, for the diffusion of buttermilk, with funds to enable the
visiting committee to place a full jug, in the hands of every man, woman
and child, in the United States, upon the first Monday of every month.
A friendly cockroach-trap society.
A society, composed exclusively of medical men, without practice, for the
destruction of sowbugs and pismires, throughout the Commonwealth.
A society, for the promotion of domestic happiness, with power to send for
persons and papers.
A society, for elevating the standard of education, by introducing
trigonometry into infant schools.
An association, for the gratuitous administration, to the poorer classes,
by steam power, of anodyne clysters.
Let us return to the faculty. I am in favor of some peculiarity, in the
dress and equipage of medical men. With the exception of certain stated
hours, they cannot be found at home; and the case may be one of emergency.
Van Butchell's spotted horse was readily distinguished, from Charing Cross
to Temple Bar. This was very convenient for those, who were in quest of
that remarkable leech. A small mast, abaft the vehicle, whether sulky,
buggy, chariot, or phaeton, bearing the owner's private signal, would
afford great public accommodation. There is nothing more nautical in such
an arrangement, than in the use of the _killeck_, or small anchor, which
many of the faculty regularly cast, when they are about to board a
patient, and as regularly weigh, when they are about to take a new
departure.
The bright yellow chariot of Dr. Benjamin Rush was universally known in
Philadelphia, and its environs; and his peculiar features are not likely
to escape from the memory of any man, who ever beheld them. These striking
points were seized, by that arch villain, Cobbett, when he published his
pictured libel, representing that eminent physician, looking out of his
chariot window, with a label, proceeding from his mouth--_Bleed and purge
all Kensington!_ Upon Cobbett's trial for this libel, Dr. Rush swore,
that, by making him ridiculous, it had seriously affected his practice.
Dr. James Lloyd was easily discovered, by his large bay horse--take him
for all in all--the finest harness gelding of his day, in Boston. With the
eyes of a Swedenborgian, I see the good, old doctor now; and I hear the
tramp of those highly polished, white topped boots; and I almost feel the
lash of his horsewhip, around my boyish legs, rather too harshly
administered, for mild practice however--but he was an able physician, and
a gentleman--_factus ad unguem_. His remarkable courtliness of manner,
arose, doubtless, in some degree, from his relation to the nobility.
During the siege, General Howe and Lord Percy were his intimate friends;
the latter was his tenant in 1775, occupying the Vassal estate, for which
Dr. Lloyd was the agent, and which afterwards became the residence of the
late Gardner Greene.
Dr. Danforth, who resided, in 1789, near the residence of Dr. Lloyd, on
Pemberton's Hill, nearly opposite Concert Hall, and, subsequently, in
Green Street, might be recognized, by the broad top of his chaise, and the
unvarying moderation of the pace, at which he drove. He was tall and thin.
His features were perfectly Brunonian. There seemed to be nothing
antiphlogistic about him. When pleased, he was very gentlemanly, in his
manner and carriage. He ever placed himself, with remarkable exactitude,
in the very centre of his vehicle, bolt upright; and, with his stern
expression, wrinkled features, remarkably aquiline nose, prominent chin,
and broad-brimmed hat, appeared, even some fifty years ago, like a remnant
of a by-gone age. He had been a royalist. His manners were occasionally
rough and overbearing.
I remember to have told my mother, when a boy, that I should not like to
take Dr. Danforth's physic. The character of his practice is, doubtless,
well remembered, by those, who have taken his _divers_, as they were
called, and lived to tell of it. The late Dr. Benjamin Waterhouse being
interrogated, by some aged spinsters, as to the difference, between the
practice of Dr. Danforth and his opponents, replied, that there were two
ways of putting a disordered clock in tolerable condition--the first, by
taking it apart, cleaning its various members of their dust and dirt,
applying a little oil to the pivots, and attaching no other than its
former weight; "and then," said he, "it will go very well, for a
considerable time; and this we call the anti-Brunonian system."
The second method he described, as follows: "You are to take no pains
about examining the parts; let the dust and dirt remain, by all means;
apply no oil to the pivots; but hitch on three or four times the original
weight, and you will be able to drag it along, after a fashion; and this
is the Brunonian system." In this, the reader will recognize one of the
pleasantries of Dr. Waterhouse, rather than an impartial illustration.
Dr. Isaac Rand, the son of Dr. Isaac Rand, of Charlestown, lived, in 1789,
some sixty years ago, in Middle Street, just below Cross: in after years,
he resided, till his death, in 1822, in Atkinson Street. He was a pupil of
Dr. Lloyd. His liberalities to the poor became a proverb. The chaise, in
which he practised, in his latter days, was a notable object. The width of
it, though not equal to that of Solomon's temple, was several cubits. It
became the property of the late Sheriff Badlam, who filled it to
admiration. The mantle of Elijah was not a closer fit, upon the shoulders
of Elisha.
Dr. Rand was an able physician, and a truly good man. He made rather a
more liberal use of the learned terms of his profession, than was the
practice of other physicians. With him, this arose from habit, and a
desire to speak with accuracy, and not from affectation. Charles Austin
was shot dead, in State Street, by Thomas O. Selfridge, August 4, 1806, in
self-defence. Dr. Rand was a witness, at the trial; and his long and
learned, professional terms, so completely confounded the stenographers,
that they were obliged to beat the _chamade_, and humbly beg for plainer
English.
I have more to say of these interesting matters, but am too near the
boundary wall of my paper, to enter upon their consideration, at present.
No. CXII.
In my last number, I referred to three eminent physicians, of the olden
time, Drs. Lloyd, Danforth, and Rand. Some sixty years ago, there were
three and twenty physicians, in this city, exclusive of quacks. The
residences of the three I have already stated. Dr. James Pecker resided,
at the corner of Hanover and Friend Street--Thomas Bulfinch, in Bowdoin
Square--Charles Jarvis, in Common Street--Lemuel Hayward, opposite the
sign of the White Horse, in Newbury Street--Thomas Kast, in Fish Street,
near the North Square--David Townsend, in Southack's Court--John Warren,
next door to Cromwell's Head, in South Latin School Street, then kept by
Joshua Brackett--Thomas Welsh, in Sudbury Street, near Concert
Hall--William Eustis, in Sudbury Street, near the Mill Pond--John Homans,
No. 6 Marlborough Street--John Sprague, in Federal Street--Nathaniel W.
Appleton, in South Latin School Street, near the Stone Chapel--Joseph
Whipple, in Orange Street--Aaron Dexter, in Milk Street, opposite the
lower end of the rope walks, that were burnt, in the great fire, July 30,
1794--Abijah Cheever, in Hanover Street--William Spooner, in Cambridge
Street--John Fleet, in Milk Street--Amos Winship, in Hanover
Street--Robert Rogerson, in Ship Street--Alexander A. Peters, in
Marlborough Street--John Jeffries, who, in 1776, went to Halifax, with the
British garrison, did not return and resume practice in Boston, till 1790.
Ten years after, in 1799, the number had increased to twenty-nine, of whom
nineteen were of the old guard of 1789.
In 1816, the number had risen to forty-three, of whom eight only were of
1789. In 1830, the number was seventy-five, two only surviving of
1789--Drs. William Spooner and Thomas Welsh.
In 1840, we had, in Boston, one hundred and twenty-two physicians,
surgeons, and dentists, and a population of 93,383. There are now, in this
physicky metropolis, according to the Directory, for 1848-9, physicians,
of all sorts, not including those for the soul, but doctors, surgeons,
dentists, regulars and quacks, of all colors and both sexes, 362. THREE
HUNDRED AND SIXTY-TWO: an increase of two hundred and forty, in eight
years. This is certainly encouraging. If 122 doctors are quite as many, as
93,383 Athenians ought to bear, 362 require about 280,000 patients, and
such should be our population. Let us arrange this formidable host. At the
very _tete d'armee_, marching left in front, we have seven _Female
Physicians_, preceded by an _Indian doctress_--next in order, come the
surgeon _Dentists_, seventy in number--then the main body, to whom the
publisher of the Directory courteously and indiscriminately applies the
title of _Physicians_, two hundred and fifty-seven, rank and file;--seven
and twenty _Botanic Doctors_ bring up the rear! How appropriate, in the
hand of the very last of this enormous _cortege_, would be a banner,
inscribed with those well known words--GOD SAVE THE COMMONWEALTH OF
MASSACHUSETTS!
I shall devote this paper to comparative statistics. In 1789, with
twenty-three physicians in Boston, four less, than the present number of
_botanic doctors_ alone, and three hundred and thirty-nine less, than the
present number of regulars and pretenders, there were nine only of _our_
profession, regularly enrolled, as F. U., funeral undertakers, and placed
upon a footing with the Roman _designatores_, or _domini funerum_. There
were several others, who bore to our profession the same relation, which
bachelors of medicine bear to theirs, and who were entitled to subscribe
themselves D. G., diggers of graves. Yet in 1840, the year, which I take,
as a _point d'appui_ for my calculations, there were only twenty, enrolled
as F. U., with 362 medical operatives, busily at work, day and night, upon
the insides and outsides of our fellow-citizens! Here is matter for
marvel! How was it done? Did the dead bury the dead? I presume the
solution lies, in the fact, that there existed an unrecorded number of
those, who were D. G. only.
There were few dentists, _eo nomine_, some sixty years ago. Our ancestors
appear to have gotten along pretty comfortably, in spite of their teeth.
Many of those, who practised the "_dental art_," had so little employment,
that it became convenient to unite their dental practice, with some other
occupation. Thus John Templeman, was a _broker and dentist_, at the
northeast corner of the Old State House. Whitlock was, doubtless,
frequently called out, from a rehearsal, at the play house, to pull a
refractory grinder. Isaac Greenwood advertises, in the Columbian Sentinel
of June 1, 1785, not only his desire to wait upon all, who may require his
services, at their houses, in the dental line; but a variety of umbrellas,
canes, silk caps for bathing, dice, chess men, and cane for hoops and
bonnets, by the dozen, or single stick. In the Boston Mercury of Jan. 6,
1797, W. P. Greenwood combines, with his dental profession, the sale of
piano-fortes and guitars. In 1799, the registered dentists were three
only, Messrs. Isaac and Wm. P. Greenwood, and Josiah Flagg. In 1816, there
were three only, Wm. P. Greenwood, Thomas Parsons, and Thomas Barnes.
It would appear somewhat extravagant, perhaps, to state, that, including
doctors of all sorts, there is a fraction more than two doctors to every
one merchant, _eo nomine_, excluding commission merchants, of course, in
the city of Boston. Such, nevertheless, appears to be the fact, unless Mr.
Adams has made some important error, which I do not suspect, in his
valuable Directory, for 1848-9.
It will not be utterly worthless, to contemplate the quartermaster's
department of this portentous army; and compare it with the corresponding
establishment of other times. In 1789, there were fifteen druggists and
apothecaries, in the town of Boston. Examples were exceedingly rare, in
those days, of wholesale establishments, exclusively dealing in drugs and
medicines. At present, we have, in this city, eighty-nine apothecaries,
doing business, in as many different places--drugs and medicines are also
sold, at wholesale, in forty-four establishments--there are fourteen
special depots, for the sale of patent medicines, Gordak's drugs, Indian
purgatives, Holman's restorative, Brandreth's pills, Sherry wine bitters,
and pectoral balsam, Graefenberg's medicines, and many other kinds of
nastiness--eighteen dealers exclusively in botanic medicines--ninety-seven
nurses--twenty-eight undertakers--and eight warehouses for the sale of
coffins!
It is amusing, if nothing worse, to compare the relative increase, in the
number of persons, who are, in various ways, employed about the sick, the
dying, and the dead, in killing, or curing, or comforting, or burying,
with the increase in some other crafts and callings. In 1789, there were
thirty-one bakers, in Boston: there are now fifty-seven. The number has
not doubled in sixty years. The number of doctors then, as I have stated,
was twenty-three: now, charlatans included, it falls short, only six, of
sixteen times that number.
There were then sixty-seven tailors' shops; there are now one hundred and
forty-eight such establishments. There were then thirty-six barbers,
hair-dressers, and wig-makers: there are now ninety-one. There were then
one hundred and five cabinet-makers and carpenters: there are now three
hundred and fifty. This ratio of comparison will, by no means, hold, in
some other callings. There were then nine auctioneers: there are now
fifty-two. There were then seven brokers, of all sorts: there are now two
hundred and ten. The source from which I draw my information, is the
Directory of 1789, "printed and sold by John Norman, at Oliver's Dock,"
and of which the writer speaks, in his preface, as "_this first attempt_."
For want of sufficient designation, it is impossible, in this primitive
work, to pick out the members of the legal profession. Compared with the
present fraternity, whose name is legion, they were very few. There are
more than three hundred and fifty practitioners of the law, in this city.
In this, as in the medical profession, there are, and ever will be, _ex
necessitate rei_, infernal scoundrels, and highly intelligent and
honorable men--blind guides and safe counsellors. Not very long ago, a day
of purification was appointed--some plan seemed to be excogitating, for
the ventilation of the brotherhood. For once, they were gathered together,
brothers, looking upon the features of brothers, and knowing them not.
This was an occasion of mutual interest, and the arena was common
ground--they came, some of them, doubtless, from strange quarters, lofty
attics and lowly places--
"From all their dens the one-eyed race repair,
From rifted rocks, and mountains high in air."
When doctors, lawyers, and brokers are greatly upon the increase, it is
very clear, that we are getting into the way of submitting our bodies and
estates, to be frequently, and extensively, tinkered.
I cannot doubt, that in 1789, there were quacks, about town, who could not
contrive to get their names inserted, in the same page, with the regular
physicians. I cannot believe, however, that they bore any proportion to
the unprincipled and ignorant impostors, at the present time. In the
"Massachusetts Centinel," of Sept. 21, 1785, is the following
advertisement--"_John Pope, who, for eighteen years past, has been noted
for curing Cancers, schrophulous Tumours, fetid and phagedenic Ulcers,
&c., has removed into a house, the north corner of Orange and Hollis
Street, South End, Boston, where he proposes to open a school, for
Reading, Writing, Arithmetick, &c._"
In 1789 there were twenty-two distillers of rum in Boston: there are nine
only, named in the Directory of 1848-9. The increase of doctors and all
the appliances of sickness and death have not probably arisen from the
falling off, among distillers. In 1789, there were about twenty
innholders: there are now eighty-eight public houses, hotels, or
taverns--ninety-two restaurants--thirty-five confectionery
establishments--thirty-nine stores, under the caption of "liquors and
wines"--sixty-nine places, for the sale of oysters, which are not always
the _spiritless_ things they appear to be--one hundred and forty-three
wholesale dealers, in West India goods and groceries--three hundred and
seventy-three retailers of such articles: I speak not of those, who fall
below the dignity of history; whose operations are entirely subterraneous;
and whose entire stock in trade might be carried, in a wheelbarrow. We
have also one hundred and fifty-two provision dealers. We live well in
this city. It would be very pleasant, to walk over it, with old Captain
Keayne, who died here, March 23, 1656, and who left a sum of money to the
town, to erect a granary or storehouse, for the poor, in case of famine!
No. CXIII.
The Quack is commonly accounted a spurious leech--a false
doctor--clinging, like a vicious barnacle, to the very bottom of the
medical profession. But impostors exist, in every craft, calling, and
profession, under the names of quacks, empirics, charmers, magicians,
professors, sciolists, plagiaries, enchanters, charlatans, pretenders,
judicial astrologers, quacksalvers, muffs, mountebanks, medicasters,
barrators, cheats, puffs, champertors, cuckoos, diviners, jugglers, and
verifiers of suggestions.