That a man enjoys the society of a charming woman, that a woman
delights in the conversation of a brilliant man, is no sign that either
of them is a flirt.
Few things are more vulgar than the readiness to infer a flirtation
from every case of marked mutual interest between a man and a woman.
The interchange of bright ideas, interspersed with the spontaneous
sallies of gallantry and the instinctive _repartee_ of innocent
coquetry--an archery of wit and humor, grave and gay,--this is one of
the salient features of civilized social life. It has nothing in
common with the shallow travesty of sentiment that characterizes a
pointless flirtation. The latter is _bad form_ whenever and wherever
existing. A sincere sentiment is not reduced to the straits of
expressing itself in such uncertain language. It is fair to conclude
that some insincerity, or some lack of a correct basis for sentiment,
is betrayed in every pointless flirtation. It is hopelessly bad form.
Young people who gratify vanity by idle "conquests," so called, make a
sufficiently conspicuous show of ill-breeding; but a _married flirt_ is
worse than vulgar.
A woman may accept every tribute that a chivalrous man may offer to her
talent or wit, so long as it is expressed in a hearty spirit of good
comradeship, and with a clear and unmistakable deference to her
self-respecting dignity; but a well-bred woman will resent as an insult
to her womanhood any quasi-sentimental overtures _from a man who has
not the right to make them_.
Etiquette requires that the association of men and women in refined
circles shall be frank without freedom, friendly without familiarity.
"Flirting" is a plebeian diversion. Every well-bred woman is a queen,
for whose sake every well-bred man will hold a lance in rets.