Perfect congruity is the secret of successful dressing.
The first harmony to be observed is that between the dress and the
wearer's purse. Good form considers not merely what can be _paid for_
without "going in debt," but what can be purchased without cramping the
resources in some other direction and destroying the proper balance of
one's expenditures. The girl who uses a month's salary to buy one fine
gown, and denies herself in the matter of needed hosiery to make up for
the extravagance, is "dressing beyond her means," and is violating good
form in so doing. A simple gown that allows for all _suitable
accessories_ is always lady-like.
The second point of harmony is the appropriateness of dress to the
occasion when it is worn.
Dinners, balls, and formal receptions are occasions that call for
handsome dress. This may range in cost to include some very
inexpensive but artistic costumes, the quality of good style not being
confined to the richest fabrics. But the inexpensive gown should have
a character of its own, and not be suspected of any attempt to imitate
its priceless rivals.
The degree of full-dress worn at dinner varies with the formality of
the occasion and the fashions prevailing in the social circle
represented. On very grand occasions a very rich and stylish costume
may be required. In general, a lady wears her choicest silk or velvet
gown at a dinner. The intrinsic value of the fabric is more important
in dinner dress than in dress worn on other occasions, since the
company are few in number and thrown into close proximity, where
leisurely observation and criticism are inevitable. A gown that would
pass muster in a crowd, may not stand the calm scrutiny of the
dinner-table fourteen. The style of cut and the trimmings of a dinner
gown may be as severely plain or as voluminously dressy as the
character of the occasion and the _personnel_ of the company may
indicate and the wearer's instinctive sense of propriety may suggest.
A ball or a formal reception in the evening is a time to display one's
prettiest gowns and all the jewels which one possesses. Fabrics of
infinite variety, from velvet and brocade to diaphanous tissues, are
suitable; and the possibilities in trimmings, in lace and flowers and
jeweled ornaments, are unlimited. In the fancy costumes suitable for
these showy occasions there is wide opportunity for the ingenious girl
to make herself bewitching without greatly depleting her purse. The
most becomingly dressed woman is not always the most expensively
dressed. General effect strikes the eye of the observer who has not
time to study special quality in the kaleidoscopic scene presented by
the ball-room or reception throng.
At an afternoon tea, the hostess should dress richly enough for
dignity, but without ostentation. As on all occasions, a woman should
never be over-dressed in her own house. Her gown should not be so
gorgeous that any one of her guests, even the poorest, need feel
embarrassed by the contrast.
If several ladies join the hostess in receiving, they wear handsome
reception toilets. Other guests come in ordinary walking dress, but it
should be stylish and well-kept. A "second-best" gown, though neat
enough for informal calls, may not be elegant enough for a tea or for
formal visiting. But if a lady's means are limited, and her
well-preserved old gown is the best that she can command, perfect
neatness and a delicate disposal of _lingerie_ will disguise the
ravages of time, and make the "auld cla'es look a'maist as weel's the
new."
Indeed, effective dressing, ultimately resolved, is a matter of refined
ingenuity. As David, subtly endued with power, with a smooth stone
from the brook vanquished the armor-clad Philistine giant, so the woman
with a genius for the artistic details of dress, even though it be a
last-year's gown, may triumph over another who has blindly clad herself
according to the latest conventional pattern, but without regard to
what is becoming to herself.
Happy the woman whose bank account permits her to give perfect
expression to her taste. Not so happy, but still happy, the woman
whose taste meets the emergency, despite a slender purse. But oh! most
miserable the woman of stolid, unimaginative nature, whose luxurious
wardrobe suggests nothing but the dollar-mark.
Not that I advance the poetical idea of "sweet simplicity" always and
everywhere. Not that the rich gown is in itself objectionable, or the
inexpensive dress intrinsically beautiful. It is not invariably true
that "beauty unadorned is most adorned." It is not true that a "simple
calico" is more charming than a sheeny silk, nor is cotton edging to be
compared with point or duchess lace.
But the really beautiful in dress, as before stated, lies in its
perfect congruity. According to this standard, the calico is sometimes
more effective than the silk, and _vice versa_; and neither is
effective if worn at inappropriate times, or under unsuitable
conditions.
Fashion is _daring_, and every now and then announces some startling
innovation in the way of gay street-dress. But the public sentiment of
refined people is so definitely fixed in favor of quiet dress for
public thoroughfares that these "daring" fashions soon become the sole
property of the ignorant class.
Dress for church, or for business, should be plain in design, and
subdued in color; and for most occasions when a lady walks to pay
visits or calls, a plain tailor-made costume is most suitable.
Carriage dress may be gayer in colors, and more dressy in style of cut
and trimmings.
When a party of ladies attend the theatre, unaccompanied by a male
escort, or with no conveyance but the street-car, ordinary walking
costume, with quiet bonnets or hats, is correct style. Box parties,
presumably arriving in carriages, may dress as prettily as they choose,
subject to the general laws of taste.
A woman should not mix up her wardrobe, and wear a theatre bonnet to
church, or carry a coaching parasol to a funeral.
Black, or very subdued colors, should be worn to a funeral.
Any color, _except black_, may be worn by a guest at a wedding. Black
lace may be used in the trimmings of rich-colored gowns (though white
lace is preferable); but solid black is not allowable. Women who are
wearing mourning sometimes lay it aside to attend a wedding,
substituting a lavender or violet gown, or, in some places, a deep red,
usually in some rich fabric, as velvet or plush.
The etiquette of wearing mourning is less rigorous than formerly. The
tendency is more and more to leave the matter to individual feeling.
When the mourning garb is adopted, the periods of wearing are shorter,
and the phases of change from heaviest to lightest are fewer and less
punctilious.
Whether a full mourning dress of _crepe_ be worn, or not, it is
generally conceded that it is more respectful to wear plain black than
to appear in colors during the months immediately following the death
of a near relative. The length of time that mourning dress should be
worn is a matter of taste; but it should not be laid aside too soon, as
though the wearing were an unpleasant duty; nor should it be worn too
long, for the sombre robe has a depressing effect on others, especially
invalids and children.
Those who prefer to follow a strict law of etiquette in mourning will
observe the following rules:
A widow wears deep mourning of woolen stuffs and _crepe_ for two years.
Similar mourning is worn one year for a parent, or a brother or sister.
For other near relatives, from three to six months, according to
degrees of relationship, is considered a respectful period for mourning.
A man's wife wears the same degrees of mourning for his near relatives
that she would wear for members of her own family.
In all cases, the mourning should be "lightened" by degrees. Plain
black silk, without _crepe_, and trimmed with jet, belongs to a
secondary period. Changes are made gradually through black and white
combinations, before colors are again worn.
During the period of heavy mourning, it is not proper to attend the
theatre or opera, or other gay place of amusement; nor to pay formal
visits, or attend receptions, except it may be the marriage of a near
friend, for which occasion the mourning dress is temporarily laid aside.
As a matter of respect, no invitations of a gay social character are
sent to the recently afflicted. After three months, such invitations
may be sent; of course, not with any expectation that they will be
accepted, but merely to show that, though temporarily in seclusion, the
bereaved ones are kindly remembered.
For men the etiquette of mourning is less conspicuous but equally
formal as far as it goes. The periods of wearing mourning are usually
shorter than those observed by women in similar cases, probably because
the life of business men is not confined to the social world, and its
restrictions are less binding upon them in details.
At the funeral of a near relative, a man wears black, including gloves,
and a mourning band around his hat. Subsequently he may continue to
wear black for several months, or, if this is not feasible, the
hat-band of bombazine is accounted a sufficient mark of respect. The
width of the band may be graduated, sometimes covering the surface to
within an inch of the top, sometimes being only two or three inches
wide.
As to the etiquette of men's dress in general, the tale is soon told.
The "dress-suit" is worn only at dinner and in the evening. At any
hour after six o'clock, a man may with propriety appear anywhere in a
dress suit, though it is _required_ only on formal occasions. Before
dinner, morning dress is worn--the frock coat, or a business suit with
its four-buttoned cut-away. As to the minute details of cut and
dimensions, the prevailing style of linen and ties, etc.--very
appropriately called "notions"--these things vary from season to
season. The well-dressed man will consult his tailor and furnisher.
Hats, boots, and gloves, the extremes of every perfect costume, are
important exponents of good style; and careful attention to their
choice and wearing is essential to complete and effective dressing.