_Question._ You consider yourself neglected because, I presume, the
public do not appreciate you at your proper value?
_Answer._ That is, indeed, the case, and for further particulars I refer
you to a recent correspondence in the _Pall Mall Gazette_.
_Q._ Is it not necessary that you should acquire an immense amount of
knowledge to undertake the duties of your profession worthily?
_A._ Certainly; and we welcome any kind of safeguard that will protect
the public against fraud and imposture.
_Q._ Then you consider your profession very seriously?
_A._ Undoubtedly. It is the most important profession in the world; not
a man, woman, or child exists who has not derived some benefit from its
exercise.
_Q._ If I am not mistaken, you ought to be educated at Oxford or
Cambridge to do full justice to your opportunities?
_A._ Certainly; upon the foundation of a school training at either Eton,
Westminster, Rugby, or Harrow.
_Q._ Ought you not to take up human and comparative anatomy?
_A._ As a matter of course, combined with physiology and chemistry.
_Q._ But does every professor of your art follow this routine of work?
_A._ Those who are of the greater worth. There are outsiders who assume
our noble name and yet know nothing of our special subject.
_Q._ Besides the studies you have mentioned, are there any others
necessary to the formation of a man of your special attainments?
_A._ Well, it would be well for an operator to understand metallurgy and
mechanics.
_Q._ And have you to cultivate the graces of the person?
_A._ Certainly; you must be of a pleasing and courteous presence. You
must be fitted by nature and art to obtain the confidence of those who
pay you a professional visit. You must be tender and true. You must be
able to converse on every subject under the sun, and distract the
attention of a sufferer from his pains by causing him to listen to your
anecdotes.
_Q._ It seems, then, you must be an admirable Crichton?
_A._ Well, yes, in a small way.
_Q._ Then what are you called? May I put down an archbishop, or a Lord
Chief Justice, or a Prime Minister?
_A._ No, neither. I do not aspire to be a person of so much importance.
_Q._ Then what are you?
_A._ Why, merely a dentist!
* * * * *
At the Fancy Ball.
"Do look at that huge woman dancing with Uncle BOB. What is she? A
Quakeress?"
"H'm! rather an Earth-quakeress, I should fancy!"
* * * * *