I hope to live long enough and to produce work of such a character that I

shall be able at the end of my days to say, 'Yes! this is just where the

artistic life leads a man!' Two of the most perfect lives I have come

across in my own experience are the lives of Verlaine and of Prince

Kropotkin: both of them men who have passed years in prison: the first,

the one Christian poet since Dante; the other, a man with a soul of that

beautiful white Christ which seems coming out of Russia. And for the

last seven or eight months, in spite of a succession of great troubles

reaching me from the outside world almost without intermission, I have

been placed in direct contact with a new spirit working in this prison

through man and things, that has helped me beyond any possibility of

expression in words: so that while for the first year of my imprisonment

I did nothing else, and can remember doing nothing else, but wring my

hands in impotent despair, and say, 'What an ending, what an appalling

ending!' now I try to say to myself, and sometimes when I am not

torturing myself do really and sincerely say, 'What a beginning, what a

wonderful beginning!' It may really be so. It may become so. If it

does I shall owe much to this new personality that has altered every

man's life in this place.

You may realise it when I say that had I been released last May, as I

tried to be, I would have left this place loathing it and every official

in it with a bitterness of hatred that would have poisoned my life. I

have had a year longer of imprisonment, but humanity has been in the

prison along with us all, and now when I go out I shall always remember

great kindnesses that I have received here from almost everybody, and on

the day of my release I shall give many thanks to many people, and ask to

be remembered by them in turn.

The prison style is absolutely and entirely wrong. I would give anything

to be able to alter it when I go out. I intend to try. But there is

nothing in the world so wrong but that the spirit of humanity, which is

the spirit of love, the spirit of the Christ who is not in churches, may

make it, if not right, at least possible to be borne without too much

bitterness of heart.

I know also that much is waiting for me outside that is very delightful,

from what St. Francis of Assisi calls 'my brother the wind, and my sister

the rain,' lovely things both of them, down to the shop-windows and

sunsets of great cities. If I made a list of all that still remains to

me, I don't know where I should stop: for, indeed, God made the world

just as much for me as for any one else. Perhaps I may go out with

something that I had not got before. I need not tell you that to me

reformations in morals are as meaningless and vulgar as Reformations in

theology. But while to propose to be a better man is a piece of

unscientific cant, to have become a deeper man is the privilege of those

who have suffered. And such I think I have become.

If after I am free a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me

to it, I should not mind a bit. I can be perfectly happy by myself. With

freedom, flowers, books, and the moon, who could not be perfectly happy?

Besides, feasts are not for me any more. I have given too many to care

about them. That side of life is over for me, very fortunately, I dare

say. But if after I am free a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to

allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly. If he shut the

doors of the house of mourning against me, I would come back again and

again and beg to be admitted, so that I might share in what I was

entitled to share in. If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,

I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation, as the most terrible

mode in which disgrace could be inflicted on me. But that could not be.

I have a right to share in sorrow, and he who can look at the loveliness

of the world and share its sorrow, and realise something of the wonder of

both, is in immediate contact with divine things, and has got as near to

God's secret as any one can get.

Perhaps there may come into my art also, no less than into my life, a

still deeper note, one of greater unity of passion, and directness of

impulse. Not width but intensity is the true aim of modern art. We are

no longer in art concerned with the type. It is with the exception that

we have to do. I cannot put my sufferings into any form they took, I

need hardly say. Art only begins where Imitation ends, but something

must come into my work, of fuller memory of words perhaps, of richer

cadences, of more curious effects, of simpler architectural order, of

some aesthetic quality at any rate.

When Marsyas was 'torn from the scabbard of his limbs'--_della vagina

della membre sue_, to use one of Dante's most terrible Tacitean

phrases--he had no more song, the Greek said. Apollo had been victor.

The lyre had vanquished the reed. But perhaps the Greeks were mistaken.

I hear in much modern Art the cry of Marsyas. It is bitter in

Baudelaire, sweet and plaintive in Lamartine, mystic in Verlaine. It is

in the deferred resolutions of Chopin's music. It is in the discontent

that haunts Burne-Jones's women. Even Matthew Arnold, whose song of

Callicles tells of 'the triumph of the sweet persuasive lyre,' and the

'famous final victory,' in such a clear note of lyrical beauty, has not a

little of it; in the troubled undertone of doubt and distress that haunts

his verses, neither Goethe nor Wordsworth could help him, though he

followed each in turn, and when he seeks to mourn for _Thyrsis_ or to

sing of the _Scholar Gipsy_, it is the reed that he has to take for the

rendering of his strain. But whether or not the Phrygian Faun was

silent, I cannot be. Expression is as necessary to me as leaf and

blossoms are to the black branches of the trees that show themselves

above the prison walls and are so restless in the wind. Between my art

and the world there is now a wide gulf, but between art and myself there

is none. I hope at least that there is none.

To each of us different fates are meted out. My lot has been one of

public infamy, of long imprisonment, of misery, of ruin, of disgrace, but

I am not worthy of it--not yet, at any rate. I remember that I used to

say that I thought I could bear a real tragedy if it came to me with

purple pall and a mask of noble sorrow, but that the dreadful thing about

modernity was that it put tragedy into the raiment of comedy, so that the

great realities seemed commonplace or grotesque or lacking in style. It

is quite true about modernity. It has probably always been true about

actual life. It is said that all martyrdoms seemed mean to the looker

on. The nineteenth century is no exception to the rule.

Everything about my tragedy has been hideous, mean, repellent, lacking in

style; our very dress makes us grotesque. We are the zanies of sorrow.

We are clowns whose hearts are broken. We are specially designed to

appeal to the sense of humour. On November 13th, 1895, I was brought

down here from London. From two o'clock till half-past two on that day I

had to stand on the centre platform of Clapham Junction in convict dress,

and handcuffed, for the world to look at. I had been taken out of the

hospital ward without a moment's notice being given to me. Of all

possible objects I was the most grotesque. When people saw me they

laughed. Each train as it came up swelled the audience. Nothing could

exceed their amusement. That was, of course, before they knew who I was.

As soon as they had been informed they laughed still more. For half an

hour I stood there in the grey November rain surrounded by a jeering mob.

For a year after that was done to me I wept every day at the same hour

and for the same space of time. That is not such a tragic thing as

possibly it sounds to you. To those who are in prison tears are a part

of every day's experience. A day in prison on which one does not weep is

a day on which one's heart is hard, not a day on which one's heart is

happy.

Well, now I am really beginning to feel more regret for the people who

laughed than for myself. Of course when they saw me I was not on my

pedestal, I was in the pillory. But it is a very unimaginative nature

that only cares for people on their pedestals. A pedestal may be a very

unreal thing. A pillory is a terrific reality. They should have known

also how to interpret sorrow better. I have said that behind sorrow

there is always sorrow. It were wiser still to say that behind sorrow

there is always a soul. And to mock at a soul in pain is a dreadful

thing. In the strangely simple economy of the world people only get what

they give, and to those who have not enough imagination to penetrate the

mere outward of things, and feel pity, what pity can be given save that

of scorn?

I write this account of the mode of my being transferred here simply that

it should be realised how hard it has been for me to get anything out of

my punishment but bitterness and despair. I have, however, to do it, and

now and then I have moments of submission and acceptance. All the spring

may be hidden in the single bud, and the low ground nest of the lark may

hold the joy that is to herald the feet of many rose-red dawns. So

perhaps whatever beauty of life still remains to me is contained in some

moment of surrender, abasement, and humiliation. I can, at any rate,

merely proceed on the lines of my own development, and, accepting all

that has happened to me, make myself worthy of it.

People used to say of me that I was too individualistic. I must be far

more of an individualist than ever I was. I must get far more out of

myself than ever I got, and ask far less of the world than ever I asked.

Indeed, my ruin came not from too great individualism of life, but from

too little. The one disgraceful, unpardonable, and to all time

contemptible action of my life was to allow myself to appeal to society

for help and protection. To have made such an appeal would have been

from the individualist point of view bad enough, but what excuse can

there ever be put forward for having made it? Of course once I had put

into motion the forces of society, society turned on me and said, 'Have

you been living all this time in defiance of my laws, and do you now

appeal to those laws for protection? You shall have those laws exercised

to the full. You shall abide by what you have appealed to.' The result

is I am in gaol. Certainly no man ever fell so ignobly, and by such

ignoble instruments, as I did.

The Philistine element in life is not the failure to understand art.

Charming people, such as fishermen, shepherds, ploughboys, peasants and

the like, know nothing about art, and are the very salt of the earth. He

is the Philistine who upholds and aids the heavy, cumbrous, blind,

mechanical forces of society, and who does not recognise dynamic force

when he meets it either in a man or a movement.

People thought it dreadful of me to have entertained at dinner the evil

things of life, and to have found pleasure in their company. But then,

from the point of view through which I, as an artist in life, approach

them they were delightfully suggestive and stimulating. The danger was

half the excitement. . . . My business as an artist was with Ariel. I

set myself to wrestle with Caliban. . . .

A great friend of mine--a friend of ten years' standing--came to see me

some time ago, and told me that he did not believe a single word of what

was said against me, and wished me to know that he considered me quite

innocent, and the victim of a hideous plot. I burst into tears at what

he said, and told him that while there was much amongst the definite

charges that was quite untrue and transferred to me by revolting malice,

still that my life had been full of perverse pleasures, and that unless

he accepted that as a fact about me and realised it to the full I could

not possibly be friends with him any more, or ever be in his company. It

was a terrible shock to him, but we are friends, and I have not got his

friendship on false pretences.

Emotional forces, as I say somewhere in _Intentions_, are as limited in

extent and duration as the forces of physical energy. The little cup

that is made to hold so much can hold so much and no more, though all the

purple vats of Burgundy be filled with wine to the brim, and the treaders

stand knee-deep in the gathered grapes of the stony vineyards of Spain.

There is no error more common than that of thinking that those who are

the causes or occasions of great tragedies share in the feelings suitable

to the tragic mood: no error more fatal than expecting it of them. The

martyr in his 'shirt of flame' may be looking on the face of God, but to

him who is piling the faggots or loosening the logs for the blast the

whole scene is no more than the slaying of an ox is to the butcher, or

the felling of a tree to the charcoal burner in the forest, or the fall

of a flower to one who is mowing down the grass with a scythe. Great

passions are for the great of soul, and great events can be seen only by

those who are on a level with them.

* * * * *

I know of nothing in all drama more incomparable from the point of view

of art, nothing more suggestive in its subtlety of observation, than

Shakespeare's drawing of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. They are Hamlet's

college friends. They have been his companions. They bring with them

memories of pleasant days together. At the moment when they come across

him in the play he is staggering under the weight of a burden intolerable

to one of his temperament. The dead have come armed out of the grave to

impose on him a mission at once too great and too mean for him. He is a

dreamer, and he is called upon to act. He has the nature of the poet,

and he is asked to grapple with the common complexity of cause and

effect, with life in its practical realisation, of which he knows

nothing, not with life in its ideal essence, of which he knows so much.

He has no conception of what to do, and his folly is to feign folly.

Brutus used madness as a cloak to conceal the sword of his purpose, the

dagger of his will, but the Hamlet madness is a mere mask for the hiding

of weakness. In the making of fancies and jests he sees a chance of

delay. He keeps playing with action as an artist plays with a theory. He

makes himself the spy of his proper actions, and listening to his own

words knows them to be but 'words, words, words.' Instead of trying to

be the hero of his own history, he seeks to be the spectator of his own

tragedy. He disbelieves in everything, including himself, and yet his

doubt helps him not, as it comes not from scepticism but from a divided

will.

Of all this Guildenstern and Rosencrantz realise nothing. They bow and

smirk and smile, and what the one says the other echoes with sickliest

intonation. When, at last, by means of the play within the play, and the

puppets in their dalliance, Hamlet 'catches the conscience' of the King,

and drives the wretched man in terror from his throne, Guildenstern and

Rosencrantz see no more in his conduct than a rather painful breach of

Court etiquette. That is as far as they can attain to in 'the

contemplation of the spectacle of life with appropriate emotions.' They

are close to his very secret and know nothing of it. Nor would there be

any use in telling them. They are the little cups that can hold so much

and no more. Towards the close it is suggested that, caught in a cunning

spring set for another, they have met, or may meet, with a violent and

sudden death. But a tragic ending of this kind, though touched by

Hamlet's humour with something of the surprise and justice of comedy, is

really not for such as they. They never die. Horatio, who in order to

'report Hamlet and his cause aright to the unsatisfied,'

'Absents him from felicity a while,

And in this harsh world draws his breath in pain,'

dies, but Guildenstern and Rosencrantz are as immortal as Angelo and

Tartuffe, and should rank with them. They are what modern life has

contributed to the antique ideal of friendship. He who writes a new _De

Amicitia_ must find a niche for them, and praise them in Tusculan prose.

They are types fixed for all time. To censure them would show 'a lack of

appreciation.' They are merely out of their sphere: that is all. In

sublimity of soul there is no contagion. High thoughts and high emotions

are by their very existence isolated.

* * * * *

I am to be released, if all goes well with me, towards the end of May,

and hope to go at once to some little sea-side village abroad with R---

and M---.

The sea, as Euripides says in one of his plays about Iphigeneia, washes

away the stains and wounds of the world.

I hope to be at least a month with my friends, and to gain peace and

balance, and a less troubled heart, and a sweeter mood. I have a strange

longing for the great simple primeval things, such as the sea, to me no

less of a mother than the Earth. It seems to me that we all look at

Nature too much, and live with her too little. I discern great sanity in

the Greek attitude. They never chattered about sunsets, or discussed

whether the shadows on the grass were really mauve or not. But they saw

that the sea was for the swimmer, and the sand for the feet of the

runner. They loved the trees for the shadow that they cast, and the

forest for its silence at noon. The vineyard-dresser wreathed his hair

with ivy that he might keep off the rays of the sun as he stooped over

the young shoots, and for the artist and the athlete, the two types that

Greece gave us, they plaited with garlands the leaves of the bitter

laurel and of the wild parsley, which else had been of no service to men.

We call ours a utilitarian age, and we do not know the uses of any single

thing. We have forgotten that water can cleanse, and fire purify, and

that the Earth is mother to us all. As a consequence our art is of the

moon and plays with shadows, while Greek art is of the sun and deals

directly with things. I feel sure that in elemental forces there is

purification, and I want to go back to them and live in their presence.

Of course to one so modern as I am, 'Enfant de mon siecle,' merely to

look at the world will be always lovely. I tremble with pleasure when I

think that on the very day of my leaving prison both the laburnum and the

lilac will be blooming in the gardens, and that I shall see the wind stir

into restless beauty the swaying gold of the one, and make the other toss

the pale purple of its plumes, so that all the air shall be Arabia for

me. Linnaeus fell on his knees and wept for joy when he saw for the

first time the long heath of some English upland made yellow with the

tawny aromatic brooms of the common furze; and I know that for me, to

whom flowers are part of desire, there are tears waiting in the petals of

some rose. It has always been so with me from my boyhood. There is not

a single colour hidden away in the chalice of a flower, or the curve of a

shell, to which, by some subtle sympathy with the very soul of things, my

nature does not answer. Like Gautier, I have always been one of those

'pour qui le monde visible existe.'

Still, I am conscious now that behind all this beauty, satisfying though

it may be, there is some spirit hidden of which the painted forms and

shapes are but modes of manifestation, and it is with this spirit that I

desire to become in harmony. I have grown tired of the articulate

utterances of men and things. The Mystical in Art, the Mystical in Life,

the Mystical in Nature this is what I am looking for. It is absolutely

necessary for me to find it somewhere.

All trials are trials for one's life, just as all sentences are sentences

of death; and three times have I been tried. The first time I left the

box to be arrested, the second time to be led back to the house of

detention, the third time to pass into a prison for two years. Society,

as we have constituted it, will have no place for me, has none to offer;

but Nature, whose sweet rains fall on unjust and just alike, will have

clefts in the rocks where I may hide, and secret valleys in whose silence

I may weep undisturbed. She will hang the night with stars so that I may

walk abroad in the darkness without stumbling, and send the wind over my

footprints so that none may track me to my hurt: she will cleanse me in

great waters, and with bitter herbs make me whole.

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