--Introduction of a New Character--Correspondence between Evory Easel,
Esq., and Sam Spinageberd, Esq.--Susanna and the Elder; or, the
Conventicle in Trouble--Phils Gallantry and Courage.
It was about eleven o'clock the next day that a person in the garb of a
gentleman, that is, the garb was a plain one enough, but the air of the
person who wore it was evidently that of a man who had seen and mingled
in respectable life, was travelling towards Springfield, the residence
of Mr. Hickman, when he overtook two females, one of whom was dressed in
such a way as made it clear that she wished to avoid the risk of being
known. She was a little above the middle size, and there could be
little doubt, from the outline of her figure, that, in the opinion
of unsuspicious people, she had reached the dignity of a matron. Her
companion was dressed in faded black, from top to toe, and from the
expression of her thin, sallow face, and piercing black eyes, there
could be little doubt she had seen a good deal of the world as it exists
in rustic life. The person who overtook these two females carried a
portfolio, and appeared to observe the country and its scenery, as he
went along with well marked attention.
“Pray, ma'am,” said he, “whose is that fine old building to the right,
which appears to be going to ruin? It is evidently not inhabited.”
“You're a stranger in the place, then,” replied the female, “or you
surely might know Castle Cumber House, where old Tom Topertoe used
to live before the union came. He was made a lord of for sellin' our
parliament, and now his son, the present lord, is leadin' a blessed life
abroad, for he never shows his face here.”
“He is an absentee, then?”
“To be sure he is, and so is every man of them now, barrin' an odd
one. The country's deserted, and although business is lookin' up
a little--take your time, Susanna, we needn't be in sich a hurry
now--although, as I said, business is lookin' up a little, still it's
nothing to what it was when the gentry lived at home wid us.”
“Who is agent to this Lord Cumber, pray?”
“A blessed boy, by all accounts, but that's all I'll say about him--I
know him too well to make him my enemy.”
“Why, is he not popular--is he not liked by the tenantry?”
“Oh, Lord, to be sure--they doat upon him; and, indeed, no wondher, he's
so kind and indulgent to the poor. To tell you the truth, he's a great
blessin' to the country.”
“That, to be sure, is very satisfactory--and, pray, if I may take the
liberty, who is his law agent, or has he one?”
“Why, another blessed--hem--a very pious devout man, named Mr. Solomon
M'Slime, an attorney--but, indeed, an attorney that almost shames the
Bible itself, he's so religious. Isn't he, Susanna?”
“He hath good gifts; if he doth not abuse them.”
“Religion is certainly the best principle in life, if sincerely felt,
and not prostituted and made a mask of.”
“A mask! isn't that, sir, a thing that people put on and off their face,
according as it may suit them?”
“Just so, madam; you have exactly described it.”
“Oh, the divil a mask ever he made of it, then, for he never lays it
aside at all. He has kept it on so steadily, that, I'll take my oath,
if he was to throw, it off now, he wouldn't know himself in the
looking-glass, it's so long since he got a glimpse of his own face.”
“Lord Cumber must be a happy man to have two such valuable agents upon
his property.”
“Talkin' of Lord Cumber and his property, if you wish to know all about
them, here's your man comin' over by the cross road here--he's goin'
to M'Clutchy's I suppose, and, as you appear to be goin' in the same
direction, I'll hand you over to him. Good morrow, Darby?”
“Good morrow, kindly, Poll, and--eh--who's this you've got wid you?” he
continued, eyeing Susanna, “a stranger to me, any how. Well, Poll, and
how are you?”
“There's no use in complainin', Darby; I'm middlin'--and how is
yourself?”
“Throth, Poll, I've a lump in my stomach that I fear will settle me yet,
if I don't get it removed somehow. But, sure, the hathens, I forgive
them.” In the meantime he slyly rubbed his nose and winked both eyes, as
he looked towards Susanna, as much as to say, “I know all.”
Poll, however, declined to notice the recognition, but renewed the
discourse--
“Why, Darby, how did the lump come into your stomach? Faith, in these
hard times, there's many a poor divel would be glad to have such a
complaint--eh?”
“And, is it possible you didn't hear it?” he asked with surprise,
“howandever, you shall. I was carrying a letther from Mr. M'Slime, that
good, pious crature”--another shrewd look at Susanna, “Mr. M'Slime to
Mr. M'Clutchy, another good gintleman, too, and who should attack me
on the way but that turncoat hathen Bob Beatty, wid a whole posse of
idolathers at his heels. They first abused me because I left them in
their darkness, and then went to search me for writs, swearin' that
they'd make me ait every writ I happened to have about me. Now, I
didn't like to let Mr. M'Slime's letther fall into their hands, and,
accordingly, I tore it up and swallowed it, jist in ordher to disappoint
the hathens. Howandever, I'm sufferin' for it, but sure you know, Poll,
it's our duty--I don't mane yours, for you're a hathen and idolather
still--but mine; it's my duty to suffer for the thruth, anyhow.”
Poll's laughter was loud and vehement on hearing these sentiments from
a man she knew so well; but, to tell the truth, Darby, who felt that, in
consequence of his last interview with Lucre, he was in for it, came to
the resolution of doing it heavy, as they say, or, in other words, of
going the whole hog.
“This appears to be a strange country, observed the traveller.
“Wait,” said Poll, “till you come to know it, and you'll say that.”
“No, but wait,” observed Darby, “till the spread comes, and then you may
say it.”
“What do you mean by the spread?” asked! the stranger.
“Why, the spread o' the gospel--of religion, to be shure,” replied
Darby; “and in this counthry,” he added, “a glorious spread it is,
the Lord be praised! Are you travellin far in this direction, sir, wid
summission?”
“I am going as far as Springfield, the residence of a Mr. Hickman, to
whom I have a letter of introduction. Do you know him?”
“He was an agent on this property,” replied Darby; “but Mr. M'Clutchy
came afther him; and, indeed, the tenants is mighty well satisfied wid
the change. Hickman, sir, was next to a hathen--made no differ in life
between an idolather and a loyal Protestant, but Mr. M'Clutchy, on the
other hand, knows how to lean to his own, as he ought to do. And in
regard o' that, I'd advise you when you see Mr. Hickman, jist to be on
your guard as to what he may say about the Castle Cumber property,
and them that's employed an it. Between you and me, he's not over
scrupulous, and don't be surprised if he lays it hot and heavy on Mr.
M'Clutchy and others, not forgettin' your humble sarvant, merely in
regard of our honesty and loyalty, for I'm a staunch Protestant, myself,
glory be to God, and will support the Castle Cumber inthrest through
thick and thin. Now, sir,” he added, “there's two ways to Hickman's; and
between you and me agin' Mr. Hickman is a real gentleman, exceptin' his
little failings about M'Clutchy; but who is widout them? I dunna, but it
would be as well if he had remained agent still; and when you see him,
if you happen to say that Darby O'Drive tould you so, I think he'll
understand you. Well--there's two ways, as I said, to this place--one by
this road, that turns to the right--which, indeed, is the shortest--the
other is by Constitution Cottage, which is M'Clutchy's place, where I am
goin' to.”
The stranger, after thanking Darby for his information, took the shorter
road, and in about an hour or so reached Springfield.
It is not our intention to detail his interview with Mr. Hickman. For
the present it is sufficient to say, that he produced to that gentleman
a letter of introduction from Lord Cumber himself, who removed all
mystery from about him, by stating that he was an English artist, who
came over on a foolish professional tour, to see and take sketches of
the country, as it appeared in its scenery, as well as in the features,
character, and costume of its inhabitants. He had also introductions to
M'Clutchy, M'Slime, Squire Deaker, M. Lucre, and several other prominent
characters of the neighborhood.
As this gentleman amused himself by keeping an accurate and regular
journal of all events connected with the Castle Cumber property, or
which occurred on it, we feel exceedingly happy in being able to lay
these important chronicles before our readers, satisfied as we are, that
they will be valued, at least on the other side of the channel, exactly
in proportion to the scanty opportunities he had of becoming acquainted
with our language, manners, and character. The MS. is now before us,
and the only privilege we reserve to ourselves is simply to give his
dialogue an Irish turn, and to fill up an odd chasm here and there,
occasioned by his ignorance of circumstances which have come to our
knowledge through personal cognizance, and various other sources. The
journal now in our possession is certainly the original one; but we know
that copies of it were addressed successively, as the events occurred,
to a gentleman in London, named Spinageberd, under cover to Lord Cumber
himself, who kindly gave them the benefit of his frank, during the
correspondence. Our friend, the journalist, as the reader will perceive,
does not merely confine himself to severe facts, but gives us all the
hints, innuendoes, and rumors of the day, both personal, religious and
political. With these, our duty is simply to confirm or contradict them
where we can, and where we cannot, to leave them just as we found them,
resting upon their intrinsic claims to belief or otherwise. Having
premised thus far, we beg leave to introduce to our reader's special
acquaintance, Evory Easel, Esq., an English Artist and Savan, coming to
_do_ a portion of the country, ladies and gentleman, as has been often
done before.
Batch No. I. Evory Easel, Esq., to Sam Spinageberd, Esq.
“Old Spinageberd:
“Here I am at last, in the land of fun and fighting---mirth and
misery--orange and green. I would have written to you a month ago, but,
that such a course was altogether out of my calculation. The moment I
arrived, I came to the determination of sauntering quietly about, but
confining myself to a certain locality, listening to, and treasuring
up, whatever I could see or hear, without yet availing myself of Lord
Cumber's introductions, in order that my first impressions of the
country and the people, might result from personal observation, and not
from the bias, which accounts heard here from either party, might be apt
to produce. First, then, I can see the folly, not to say the injustice,
which I ought to say, of a landlord placing his property under the
management of a furious partisan, whose opinions, political and
religious are not merely at variance with but, totally opposed to, those
whose interests are entrusted to his impartiality and honesty. In the
management of a property circumstanced as that of Castle Cumber is,
where the population is about one-half Roman Catholic, and the
other half Protestant and Presbyterian, between us, any man, my dear
Spinageberd, not a fool or knave, must see the madness of employing a
fellow who avows himself an enemy to the creed of one portion of the
tenantry, and a staunch supporter of their opponents. Is this fair, or
can justice originate in its purity from such a source? Is it reasonable
to suppose that a Roman Catholic tenantry, who, whatever they may bear,
are impatient of any insult or injustice offered to their creed, or,
which is the same thing, to themselves on account of that creed,--is it
reasonable, I say, to suppose that such a people could rest satisfied
with a man who acts towards them only through the medium of his fierce
and ungovernable prejudices? Is it not absurd to imagine for one moment
that property can be fairly administered through such hands, and, if
not property, how much less justice itself. You may judge of my
astonishment, as an Englishman, when I find that the administration of
justice is in complete keeping with that of property; for, I find it an
indisputable fact, that nineteen magistrates, out of every twenty, are
Orangemen, or party men of some description, opposed to Roman Catholic
principles. And, yet, the Roman Catholic party are expected to exhibit
attachment to the government which not merely deprives them of their
civil rights, but literally places the execution of the laws in the
hands of their worst and bitterest enemies. I say so deliberately; for
I find that nothing so strongly recommends a man to the office
of magistrate, or, indeed, to any office under government, as the
circumstance of being a strong, conspicuous anti-Catholic. In writing
to you, my dear Spinageberd, you may rest assured that I will give
expression to nothing but truths which are too well known to be
contradicted. The subject of property in Ireland, is one, which,
inasmuch as it is surrounded with great difficulties, is also entitled
to great consideration.
“If there be any one prejudice in the character of an Irish peasant
stronger or more dangerous than another--and he has many, they say, that
are both strong and dangerous--it is that which relates to property and
the possession of it. This prejudice is, indeed, so conscious of its own
strength, and imbued in this opinion with so deep a conviction of its
justice, that, in ordinary circumstances, it scorns the aid of all
collateral and subordinate principles and even flings religion aside, as
an unnecessary ally, justice, therefore, or oppression, or partiality in
the administration of property, constitutes the greatest crime known to
the agrarian law, and is consequently resisted by the most unmitigable
and remorseless punishment. The peasant who feels, or believes himself
to be treated with injustice, or cruelty, never pauses to reflect upon
the religion of the man whom he looks upon as his oppressor. He will
shoot a Catholic landlord or agent from behind a hedge, with as much
good will as he would a Protestant. Indeed, in general, he will prefer a
Protestant landlord to those of his own creed, knowing well, as he does,
that the latter, where they are possessed of property, constitute the
very worst class of landlords in the kingdom. As religion, therefore, is
not at all necessarily mixed up with the Irishman's prejudices as this
subject--it is consequently both dangerous and wicked to force it to an
adhesion with so dreadful a principle as that which resorts to noon-day
or midnight murder. This is unfortunately what such fellows as this
M'Clutchy do. They find the Irish peasant with but one formidable
prejudice in relation to property, and by a course of neglect,
oppression, and rapacity, joined to all the malignant rancor of
religious bigotry and party feeling, they leave him goaded by a hundred.
I believe in my soul that there are many fire-brands like M'Clutchy in
this country, who create the crime, in order to have the gratification
of punishing it, and of wreaking a legal vengeance upon the unfortunate
being who has been guilty of it, in order that they may recommend
themselves as loyal men to the government of the day. If this be so, how
can the country be peaceable? If it be peaceable, such men can have
no opportunity of testing their loyalty, and if they do not test their
loyalty, they can have no claim upon the government, and having no claim
upon the government, they will get nothing from it. The day will come, I
hope, when the very existence of men like these, and of the system which
encouraged; them, will be looked upon with disgust and wonder--when the
government of our country will make no invidious distinctions of creed
or party, and will not base the administration of its principles upon
the encouragement of hatred between man and man.
“Hickman, the former agent, was the first to whom I presented Lord
Cumber's letter. He is a gentleman by birth, education, and property; a
man of a large and a liberal mind, well stored with information and has
the character of being highly, if not punctiliously honorable. His age
is about fifty-five, but owing to his regular and temperate habits of
life, and in this country temperance is a virtue indeed, he scarcely,
looks beyond forty. Indeed, I may observe by the way, that in this
blessed year of ----, the after-dinner indulgences of the Irish
squirearchy, who are the only class that remain in the country, resemble
the drunken orgies of Silenus and his satyrs, more than anything else to
which I can compare them. The conversation is in general licentious,
and the drinking beastly; and I don't know after all, but the Irish are
greater losers by their example than they would be by their absence.
“On making inquiries into the state and management of this property,
I found Hickman actuated by that fine spirit of gentlemanly delicacy,
which every one, rich and poor, attribute to him. M'Clutchy having
succeeded him, he very politely declined to enter into the subject
at any length, but told me that I could be at no loss in receiving
authentic information on a subject so much and so painfully canvassed.
I find it is a custom in this country for agents to lend money to their
employers, especially when they happen to be in a state of considerable
embarrassment, by which means the unfortunate landlord is seldom able
to discharge or change his agent, should he misconduct himself; and is
consequently saddled with a vampire probably for life, or while there is
any blood to be got out of him. Hickman, who has other agencies, makes
it a point of principle, never to lend money to a landlord, by which
means he avoids those imputations which are so frequently and justly
brought against those who trade upon the embarrassments of their
employers, in order to get them into their power.
“May 13.--There are two newspapers in the town of Castle Cumber,
conducted upon opposite principles: one of them is called _The Castle
Cumber True Blue_, and is the organ of the Orange Tory party, and the
High Church portion of the Establishment. The other advocates the cause
of the Presbyterians, Dissenters, and gives an occasional lift to the
Catholics. There is also a small party here, which, however, is gaining
ground every day, called the Evangelical, an epithet adopted for the
purpose of distinguishing them from the mere worldly and political High
Churchmen, who, together with all the loyalty and wealth, have
certainly all the indifference to religion, and most of the secular and
ecclesiastical corruptions that have disgraced the Church, and left it
little better than a large mass of bribes in the hands of the English
minister. In such a state of things, you may judge how that rare grace,
piety, is rewarded. There is, besides, no such thing to be found in
this country as an Irish bishop, nor, is a bishop ever appointed for his
learning or his piety; on the contrary, the unerring principle of their
elevation to the mitre, is either political, or family influence, or
both. I wish I could stop here but I cannot; there are, unfortunately,
still more flagitious motives for their appointment. English ministers
have been found who were so strongly influenced by respect for the
religion and Church Establishment of the Irish, that they have not
blushed to promote men, who were the convenient instruments of their
own profligacy, to some of the richest sees in the kingdom. But I am
travelling out of my record; so to return. The name of the second paper
is the _Genuine Patriot, and Castle Cumber Equivocal_; this last journal
is, indeed, sorely distressed between the Catholic and Evangelical
parties. The fact is, that the Evangelicals entertain such a horror of
Popery, as a spiritual abomination, that they feel highly offended that
their advocates should also be the advocate of Old Broadbottom, as the
Orangemen call the Pope; in consequence, they say, of his sitting upon
seven hills. The editors of these papers are too decidedly opposed
in general, to be on bad terms with each other; or, to speak more
intelligibly, they are not on the same side, and consequently do not
hate each other as they ought and would. The town of Castle Cumber, like
every other country town, is one mass of active and incessant scandal;
and, it not infrequently happens that the _True Blue_ will generously
defend an individual on the opposite side, and the _Genuine Patriot_
fight for a High Churchman. The whole secret of this, however is,
that it is the High Churchman who writes in the _Patriot_, and the
Evangelical in the _True Blue_, each well knowing that a defence by
an opposing paper is worth more than one by his favorite organ. In the
instance I am about to specify, however, the case was otherwise, each
paper adhering to the individual of his own principles. On taking up the
_True Blue_ I read the following passage, to which I have fortunately
obtained a key that will make the whole matter quite intelligible. The
article was headed:--
“Susanna and the Elder; or the Conventicle in trouble.
“'For some time past we regret, sincerely regret, as Christian men, that
a rumor has, by degrees, been creeping into circulation, which we trust
is, like most rumors of the kind, without foundation. The reputation
of a very pious professional gentleman, well known for his zeal and
activity in the religious world, is said to be involved in it, but, we
trust, untruly. The gentleman in question, has, we know, many enemies;
and we would fain hope, that this is merely some evil device fabricated
by the adversaries of piety and religion. The circumstances alluded
to are briefly these: Susanna, says the evil tongue of rumor, was a
religious young person, residing in the character of children's maid in
the family. She was of decided piety, and never known to be absent
from morning and evening worship; it seems, besides, that she is
young, comely, and very agreeable, indeed, to the mere, secular eye her
symmetry had been remarkable, but indeed female graces are seldom long
lived; she is not now, it seems, in the respectable gentleman's family
alluded to, and her friends are anxious to see her, but cannot. So the
idle story goes, but we hesitate not to say that it originates in the
vindictive malice of some concealed enemy, who envies the gentleman
in question his pure and unsullied reputation. We would not ourselves
advert to it at all, but that we hope it may meet his eye, and prompt
him to take the earliest measures to contradict and refute it, as we are
certain he will and can do.'
“This was all exceedingly kind, and certainly so very charitable that
the Equivocal could not, with any claim to Christian principles, suffer
itself to be outdone in that blessed spirit of brotherly love and
forgiveness, which, it trusted, always characterized its pages.
“'We are delighted,' it said, 'at the mild and benevolent tone in which,
under the common misconception, a little anecdote, simple and harmless
in itself, was uttered. Indeed, we smiled--but we trust the smile
was that of a Christian--on hearing our respected and respectable
contemporary doling out the mistake of a child, with such an air
of solemn interest in the reputation of a gentleman whose name and
character are beyond the reach of either calumny or envy. The harmless
misconception on which, by a chance expression, the silly rumor was
founded, is known to all the friends of the gentleman in question. He
himself, however, being one of those deep-feeling Christians, who are
not insensible to the means which often resorted to, for wise purposes,
in order to try us and prove our faith, is far from looking on the
mistake--as, in the weakness of their own strength, many would as a
thing to be despised and contemned. No; he receives it as a warning,
it may be for him to be more preciously alive to his privileges, and to
take care when he stands lest he might fall. Altogether, therefore, he
receives this thing as an evidence that he is cared for, and that it is
his duty to look upon it as an awakening of his, perhaps, too worldly
and forgetful spirit, to higher and better duties; and if so, then will
it prove a blessing unto him, and will not have been given in vain. We
would not, therefore, be outdone even in charity by our good friend of
the _True Blue_; and we remember that when about six months ago, he was
said to have been found in a state scarcely compatible with sobriety,
in the channel of Castle Cumber main street, opposite the office door of
the Equivocal, on his way home from an Orange lodge, we not only aided
him, as was our duty, but we placed the circumstance in its proper
light--a mere giddiness in the head, accompanied by a total prostration
of physical strength, to both of which even the most temperate, and
sober, are occasionally liable. The defect of speech, accompanied by
a strong tendency to lethargy, we accounted for at the time, by a
transient cessation or paralysis of the tongue, and a congestion of
blood on the brain, all of which frequently attack persons of the
soberest habits. Others might have said it was intoxication, or
drunkenness, and so might his character have been injured; but when his
incapacity to stand was placed upon its proper footing, the matter was
made perfectly clear, and there was, consequently, no doubt about it. So
easy is it to distort a circumstance, that is harmless and indifferent
in itself, into a grievous fault, especially where there is not
Christian charity to throw a cloak over it.'
“'Such is a specimen of two paragraphs--one from each paper; and
considering that the subject was a delicate one, and involving; the
character of a professor, we think it was as delicately handled on both
sides as possible. I am told it is to be publicly alluded to to-morrow
in the congregation of which the subject of it, a Mr. Solomon M'Slime,
an attorney, is an elder--a circumstance which plainly accounts for the
heading of the paragraph in the True Blue.
“There were, however, about a week or ten days ago, a couple of
paragraphs in the _True Blue_--which, by the way, is Mr. M'Clutchy's
favorite paper--of a very painful description. There is a highly
respectable man here, named M'Loughlin--and you will please to observe,
my dear Spinageberd, that this M'Loughlin is respected and well spoken
of by every class and party; remember that, I say. This man is a partner
with a young fellow named Harman, who is also very popular with parties.
Harman, it seems, was present at some scene up in the mountains, where
M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, as they are called, from their ferocity when
on duty, had gone to take a man suspected for murder. At all events, one
of the blood-hounds in the straggle--for they were all armed, as they
usually are--lost his life by the discharge--said to be accidental,
but sworn to be otherwise, before Mr. Magistrate M'Clutchy--of a loaded
carbine. He was to have been tried at the assizes which have just
terminated; but his trial has been postponed until the next assizes,
it is said for want of sufficient evidence. Be this as it may, it seems
that M'Loughlin's beautiful daughter was soon to have been married
to her father's young partner, now in prison. The unfortunate girl,
however, manifested the frailty of her sex: for while her former lover
was led to suppose that he possessed all the fulness of her affection,
she was literally carrying on a private and guilty intrigue with one of
the worst looking scoundrels that ever disgraced humanity--I mean Phil,
as he is called, only son to Valentine M'Clutchy--who, by the way, goes
among the people under the sobriquet of Val the Vulture. I need not say
what the effects of this young woman's dishonor have produced upon
her family. Young M'Clutchy was seen by several to go into her own
apartment, and was actually found striving to conceal himself there by
his father's blood-hounds who had received information that M'Loughlin
had fire-arms in his house. The consequence is, that the girl's
reputation is gone for ever. 'Tis true the verdict against her is not
unanimous. There is a woman, named Poll Doolin, mentioned, who bears a
most unrelenting enmity against M'Loughlin and his family, for having
transported one of her sons. She is said to have been the go-between
on this occasion, and that the whole thing is a cowardly and diabolical
plot between this Phil--whom the girl, it seems, refused to marry
before--and herself. I don't know how this may be; but the damning fact
of this ugly scoundrel having been seen to go into her room, with her
own consent, and being found there, attempting to conceal himself, by
his father's cavalry, overweighs, in my opinion, anything that can
be said in her favor. As it is, the family are to be pitied, and she
herself, it seems, is confined to her bed with either nervous or brain
fever, I don't know which--but the disclosure of the intrigue has
had such an effect upon her mind, that it is scarcely thought she will
recover it. Every one who knew her is astonished at it; and what adds to
the distress of her and her family is, that Harman, whose cousin was
an eye-witness to the fact of her receiving Phil into her chamber, has
written both to her and them, and that henceforth he renounces her for
ever.
“There have also been strong rumors touching the insolvency of the firm
of M'Loughlin and Harman, and, it is to be feared, that this untoward
exposure will injure them even in a worldly point of view. In the _True
Blue_ there are two paragraphs of the following stamp--paragraphs that
certainly deserve to get the ears of those who either wrote or published
them cropped off their heads.
“Unprecedented Feat of Gallantry and Courage!
“Public rumor has already exonerated us from the delicacy which would
otherwise have restrained our pen from alluding to a feat of gallantry
and courage performed by a young gentleman who does not live a hundred
miles from Constitution Cottage. It seems that a _laison_ once subsisted
between him and a young lady of great personal attractions, and, at
that time, supposed (erroneously) to be entitled to a handsome dowry,
considering that the fair creature worships at the Mallet Office, and
bestows, in the exercise of her usual devotion, some soft blows upon
her fair, but not insensible bosom. Our readers will understand us. The
young gentleman in question, however, hearing that the lady had been
recently betrothed to a partner of her father's, prompted by that spirit
of gallant mischief or dare-devilism for which he is so remarkable, did,
under very dangerous circumstances, actually renew his intimacy, and
had several stolen, and, consequently, sweet meetings with the charming
creature. This, however, reached his father's ears, who, on proper
information, despatched a troop of his own cavalry to bring the young
gentleman home--and so accurate was the intelligence received, that,
on reaching her father's house, they went directly to the young lady's
chamber, from which they led out the object of their search, after
several vain but resolute attempts to exclude them from his bower
of love. This unfortunate discovery has occasioned a great deal of
embarrassment in the family, and broken up the lady's intended marriage
with her father's partner. But what strikes us, is the daring courage of
the hero who thus gallantly risked life and limb, rather than that the
lady of his love should pine in vain. Except Leander's, of old, we know
of no such feat of love and gallantry in these degenerate days.'
“This other is equally malignant and vindictive
“'Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin.
“'We shall be very happy, indeed exceedingly so, to contradict
an unpleasing rumor, affecting the solvency of our respected
fellow-townsmen, Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. We. do not ourselves
give any credit to such rumors; but how strange, by the way, that such
an expression should drop from our pen on such a subject? No, we
believe them to be perfectly solvent; or, if we err in supposing so, we
certainly err in the company of those on whose opinions, we, in general,
are disposed to rely. We are inclined to believe, and we think, that for
the credit of so respectable a firm, it is our duty to state it, that
the rumor affecting their solvency has been mistaken for another of an
almost equally painful character connected with domestic life, which,
by the unhappy attachment of ****** to a young gentleman of a different
creed, and proverbially loyal principles, has thrown the whole family
into confusion and distress.'
“These, my dear Spinageberd, are the two paragraphs, literally
transcribed, from the True Blue, and I do not think it necessary to
add any comment to them. On tomorrow I have resolved to attend the
Dissenting Chapel, a place of worship where I have never yet been, and
I am anxious, at all events, to see what the distinctions are between
their mode of worship and that of the Church of Englandism. Besides,
to admit the truth, I am also anxious to see how this Solomon--this
religious attorney, whose person I well know--will deport himself under
circumstances which assuredly would test the firmness of most men,
unless strongly and graciously sustained, as they say themselves.”