That is the attitude of these good people whose names are quite unknown
outside Mallingham. They are amusing through the entire lack on their
part of a sense of comedy.
I am inclined to think, however, that the attitude of a son of one of
these First Families, in respect of an incident that came under my
notice, might be more definitely described. He had been invited by a man
who was in a far better social position than himself to have a day with
the partridges in a shooting which he leased; the youth accepted, and on
the morning of the day named appeared in a dog-cart, bringing with him
a friend with another gun. They passed the man who had given the
invitation, and who was walking to the first field and had still a mile
or so to go before reaching it; but though there was a vacant seat in
the dog-cart he was not asked to take it. They drove gaily on, and did
not even wait for him to come up with his dogs to begin operations. One
of them was walking up one side of the field and the other was walking
up the parallel side. The lessee of the shooting, on arriving, found
himself taking rather a back place, the fact being that he had no
acquaintance with his friend's friend, and his friend apparently not
thinking it necessary to introduce him. The shoot went on, however,
and, save for a little grumbling at the working of the dogs, it was
successful enough. On getting round to the dog-cart, after walking
through the last field, the visitors collected the birds that they had
shot and tucked them under the back seat, and mounting to the front
called out a cheery “good-bye” to the man who had entertained them.
They were about to drive off, but the breaking strain of the other's
politeness had been passed.
“I shouldn't mind a lift from you,” he suggested.
“Sorry,” explained the one with the reins; “but you see how rough the
lane is, and really the machine is too heavy as it is. Ta-ta.”
“On minute,” said the pedestrian. “If it's too heavy I'll jolly soon
remedy that,” and he took a step to the dog-cart and pulled out the
birds. “Pity you didn't think of that before. Now it's lighter. Off you
go, and the next time you are offered a day's shooting you just inquire,
from some one who knows, how you should behave. You will in that way be
prevented from appearing a complete bounder.”
For some time afterwards there was a sort of coldness between that man
and the First Family, whose representative had been prevented by him
from adding three brace of partridges to their menu for the next week.
For a plentiful lack of good manners the representatives of the “best
set” in Mallingham could scarcely be surpassed in any community. The
youth probably was quite sincere in his belief that he was conferring
a conspicuous favour upon the man who had invited him to an afternoon
among the partridges. How could it be expected that he should think
differently when he had seen his mother and sisters feasting at the
Mayoral ball one night, and cutting the Mayor the next day when they met
him in the street?
It was not a Mayoress of Mallingham, but of a much more important
municipality--one, in fact, of so great importance as to have a Lord
Mayor and a Lady Mayoress--who had the privilege of entertaining a
certain elderly offshoot of the Royal Family upon the occasion of the
laying of the foundation-stone of a new hospital in the town. This
particular minor Royalty is well known (in certain circles) for her
ample appreciation of the dignity of her exalted position, and, like all
such ladies, she is gracious in proportion to such dust of the earth as
Mayoresses and Presidents of Colleges and Chairmen of Hospital
Boards; and she made herself so pleasant to the Lady Mayoress who
was entertaining her, that the latter determined to keep up the
acquaintance, so she made it a point to pay her a visit in her private
capacity. She drove up the stately avenue to the mansion, and inquired
if Her Royal Highness were at home, just as if Her Royal Highness
had been the wife of the vicar. She was admitted--as far as a certain
room--and after an interval of long waiting there entered, not Her
Royal Highness, but a stranger, a member of the “Household” of the minor
Royalty, and they had a chilly chat together.
And the friendship so auspiciously begun at the opening of the municipal
hospital made no advance beyond this interview, though it is understood
that the lady of the Household was as polite as if she were Her Royal
Highness herself.