ONE OF THE PECULIARITIES OF MALLINGHAM is the Mayor, for Mallingham has
a Mayor all to itself, except when, by virtue of his office, he spends a
happy day on various County Benches, joining with the representatives
of local county families in the administration of Petty Sessions
justice--Petty Sessions justice is founded on “good Crowner's Quest
law”--otherwise he is usually a very worthy man, and lays no specious
claim to popularity. He is never ostentatious or self-assertive, and in
spite of the position which he occupies, he is in private life as sound
an exponent of domestic virtue as if he were an ordinary simple citizen.
The eminence to which he has risen never makes him lose his head or
forget that kind hearts are more than coronets, and only very little
inferior to a Mayoral Chain of office. It was the proud but very proper
boast of a Mayor of Mallingham that although he had been proprietor of a
provision business in the very centre of the town for over forty years,
and had worn the chain for two consecutive terms, he was still just as
approachable as any man in the kingdom.
Just as it was said in the Napoleonic days that every French soldier
carried the _bâton_ of a Field-Marshal in his knapsack, and as it is
said in these days in the States that any citizen may one day become
President--the contingency may account for the gloomy view so many
American citizens take of life--so it is understood that any burgess of
Mallingham may one day become Mayor. There is, however, no competition
for the office, so unambitious are the majority of the burgesses; and
now and again the Council find themselves face to face with the problem
of how to induce any one to accept the chain of office.
Considering all that its acceptance entails upon the wearer, it can
easily be understood that there should be some reluctance to have
anything to do with it within the ranks of the eligible. If it were an
understood thing that the burgesses of the town must buy their bacon
and butter from the Mayor during his term of office, the problem of
the Mayoralty might become less acute--assuming that a bacon and butter
candidate were available; but no suggestion of this sort has ever been
made so far as I can gather, and thus the difficulty is increasing year
by year with the using up of all the available material for Mayors in
the rough.
The fact is, that a great deal too much is expected from the Mayor.
There is an inaugural banquet every year at which some two hundred
burgesses, and several of the local gentry, and Members of Parliament,
with a bishop, a rural dean, and an occasional chaplain to the forces,
sit down on the invitation of the incoming Mayor.--He is expected to pay
for everything, and as the feast is founded on the noblest traditions
of civic catering, his bill cannot but be a heavy one. In no way is
the menu inferior in interest to that to be found on the table of the
Mansion House in the City of London. As a matter of fact, I believe that
the turtle soup served at the Mallingham banquet is a trifle richer
than that in the Mansion House, and the champagne is possibly a little
sweeter. But the status of the large proportion of the guests at the
one is widely different from that of the majority at the other.
In Mallingham the tradesmen--gas-fitters, grocers, tobacconists,
hair-cutters, newsagents, and the like--who are probably accustomed to
a midday dinner of a cut from the joint, two vegetables, cheese, and a
glass of ale, and want nothing better, work their way through a long and
elaborate succession of dishes, between the _hors d'ouvres assortis_ and
the home-grown pineapple, drinking glass after glass of Ayala,
_cuvée reservée_. Of course they may appreciate some of the simpler
delicacies--_vol-au-vent_ or the _faysans rotis_--but the most of the
dishes are mysteries to them and, though very expensive, altogether
obnoxious to the uneducated palate.
To be sure, the banquet is artfully meant: it is supposed to be by way
of so incapacitating the diners that they are forced to listen to the
speeches that follow. Only by the adoption of such stringent measures
would it be possible to get a hearing for those speeches, made in all
solemnity by the gentlemen at the High Table. A loyal Mayor has been
known to spend twenty minutes over the Royal Family, after the King and
Queen had been honoured--he took a quarter of over Their Majesties; but
then the evening was comparatively young, and “The Bishops and Clergy of
the Established Church,” “The Clergy of other Denominations,” “The
Member of Parliament for the Division,” “The Worshipful the Mayor,” “The
Corporation of Mallingham,” “The Official Staff,” “The Town and Trade of
Mallingham”--all these had to be proposed and replied to in due course,
and the general opinion was that in making up the accounts, with the
banquet on the credit side and the speeches on the debit, a large
balance remained against the Mayor.
And the inaugural banquet is merely the first of the series of
entertainments which are supposed to come from the same source. Two or
three balls, as many garden parties, and at least four large receptions,
with refreshments, are looked for by the townspeople of all grades, for
even the most exclusive of the leaders of the best set do not object to
be entertained at the expense of the Mayor. They consider it their
duty to attend the dances as well as the receptions; but there the
transaction ends so far as they are concerned. They feel that they are
honouring him by accepting his hospitality, and they do not consider
that they are under the obligation to recognise him or his family if
they meet in the public street, nor do they think it necessary to invite
him or any member of his family to their houses. They really believe in
their hearts that they lay the Mayor under an obligation to themselves
by attending his receptions and his dances.