_A relation of the adventures of the second disconsolate or distressed
matron, otherwise called Donna Rodriguez; with the letters of Teresa
Panza to the Duchess and to her husband._
Don Quixote's wounds being healed, he began to think the life he led
in the castle not suitable to the order which he professed; he
resolved, therefore, to set off for Saragosa, where, at the
approaching tournament, he hoped to win the armour, the usual prize at
the festivals of that kind. Accordingly, as he sat at table with the
lord and lady of the castle, he began to acquaint them with his
design; when behold two women entered the great hall, clad in deep
mourning from head to foot. One of them approaching Don Quixote, threw
herself at his feet, where, lying prostrate, and in a manner kissing
them, she fetched such doleful sighs, and made such lamentations, that
all present were not a little surprised. And, though the duke and
duchess imagined it to be some new device of their servants, yet,
perceiving with what earnestness the woman sighed and lamented, they
were in doubt, and knew not what to think; till the compassionate
champion, raising her from the ground, made her to lift up her veil,
and discover, what they least expected, the face of Donna Rodriguez,
the duenna of the family; and the other mourner proved to be her
daughter, whom the rich farmer's son had deluded. All those that knew
them were in great admiration, especially the duke and duchess; for,
though they knew her simplicity, they did not believe her so far gone
in folly. At last, the sorrowful matron, addressing herself to the
duke and duchess, "May it please your graces," said she, "to permit me
to direct my discourse to this knight; for it concerns me to get out
of an unhappy business, into which the impudence of a treacherous
villain has brought us." With that the duke gave her leave to speak;
then, applying herself to Don Quixote, "It is not long," said she,
"valorous knight, since I gave your worship an account how basely a
young graceless farmer had used my dear child, and you then promised
me to stand up for her, and see her righted; and now I understand you
are about to leave this castle, in quest of the adventures Heaven
shall send you. And therefore, before you are gone nobody knows
whither, I have this boon to beg of your worship, that you would do so
much as challenge this sturdy clown, and make him marry my daughter,
according to his promise." "Worthy matron," answered Don Quixote, with
a great deal of gravity and solemn form, "moderate your tears, or, to
speak more properly, dry them up, and spare your sighs; for I take
upon me to see your daughter's wrongs redressed. Therefore, with my
lord duke's permission, I will instantly depart to find out this
ungracious wretch; and, as soon as he is found, I will challenge him,
and kill him, if he persists in his obstinacy; for the chief end of my
profession is, to pardon the submissive, and to chastise the stubborn;
to relieve the miserable, and destroy the cruel." "Sir knight," said
the duke, "you need not give yourself the trouble of seeking the
fellow of whom that good matron complains; for I already engage that
he shall meet you in person to answer it here in this castle, where
lists shall be set up for you both, observing all the laws of arms
that ought to be kept in affairs of this kind, and doing each party
justice, as all princes ought to do that admit of single combats
within their territories." "Upon that assurance," said Don Quixote,
"with your grace's leave, I, for this time, wave my punctilio of
gentility; and, debasing myself to the meanness of the offender,
qualify him to measure lances with me." With that, pulling off his
glove, he flung it down into the middle of the hall, and the duke took
it up, declaring, as he already had done, that he accepted the
challenge in the name of his vassal; fixing the time for combat to be
six days after, and the place to be the castle-court; the arms to be
such as are usual among knights, as lance, shield, armour of proof,
and all other pieces, without fraud, advantage, or enchantment, after
search made by the judges of the field.
"But," added the duke, "it is requisite that this matron and her
daughter commit the justice of their cause into the hands of their
champion; for otherwise there will be nothing done, and the challenge
is void." "I do," answered the matron. "And so do I," added the
daughter, all ashamed, and in a crying tone. The preliminaries being
adjusted, and the duke having resolved with himself what to do in the
matter, the petitioners went away, and the duchess ordered they should
no longer be looked on as her domestics, but as ladies-errant, that
came to demand justice in her castle; and, accordingly, there was a
peculiar apartment appointed for them, where they were served as
strangers, to the amazement of the other servants, who could not
imagine what would be the end of Donna Rodriguez and her forsaken
daughter's undertaking.
Presently in came the page that had carried the letters and the
presents to Teresa Panza. The duke and duchess were overjoyed to see
him returned, having a great desire to know the success of his
journey. They inquired of him accordingly; but he told them that the
account he had to give them could not well be delivered in public, nor
in few words; and therefore begged their graces would be pleased to
take it in private, and, in the meantime, entertain themselves with
those letters. With that, taking out two, he delivered them to her
grace. The superscription of the one was, "These for my Lady Duchess,
of I do not know what place;" and the direction on the other, thus,
"To my husband Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria."
The duchess having opened her letter, read it aloud, that the whole
company might hear what follows:
"MY LADY,
"The letter your honour sent me pleased me hugeously; for, troth, it
is what I heartily longed for. The string of coral is a good thing,
and my husband's hunting suit may come up to it. All our town takes it
mighty kindly, and is very glad that your honour has made my spouse a
governor, though nobody will believe it, especially our curate, Master
Nicholas the barber, and Sampson Carrasco the bachelor. But what care
I whether they do or no? So it be true, as it is, let every one have
their saying. Though (it is a folly to lie) I had not believed it
neither, but for the coral and the suit; for every body here takes my
husband to be a dolt, and cannot for the life of them imagine what he
can be fit to govern, unless it be a herd of goats. Well, Heaven be
his guide, and speed him as he sees best for his children. As for me,
my dear lady, I am resolved, with your good liking, to make hay while
the sun shines, and go to court, to loll it along in a coach, and make
my neighbours, that envy me already, stare their eyes out. And,
therefore, good your honour, pray bid my husband send me store of
money, for I believe it is dear living at court; one can have but
little bread there for sixpence, and a pound of flesh is worth thirty
maravedis, which would make one stand amazed. And if he is not for my
coming, let him send me word in time; for my gossips tell me, that if
I and my daughter go about the court as we should, spruce and fine, my
husband will be better known by me, than I by him; for many cannot
choose but ask, What ladies are these in the coach? With that one of
my servants answers, 'The wife and daughter of Sancho Panza, governor
of the island of Barataria;' and thus shall my husband be known, and I
honoured, far and near.
"You cannot think how I am troubled that we have gathered no acorns
hereaway this year; however, I send your highness about half-a-peck,
which I have culled one by one: I went to the mountains on purpose,
and got the biggest I could find. I wish they had been as big as
ostrich-eggs.
"Pray let not your mightiness forget to write to me, and I will be
sure to send you an answer, and let you know how I do, and send you
all the news in our village. My daughter Sanchica, and my son, kiss
your worship's hands.
"Your servant,
"TERESA PANZA."
This letter was very entertaining to all the company, especially to
the duke and duchess; insomuch that her grace asked Don Quixote
whether it would be amiss to open the governor's letter, which she
imagined was a very good one? The knight told her that, to satisfy her
curiosity, he would open it; which being done, he found what follows:
"I received thy letter, dear Sancho; and I vow and swear to thee, as I
am a Catholic Christian, I was within two fingers' breadth of running
mad for joy. When I heard thou wert made a governor, I was so
transported, I had like to have fallen down dead with mere gladness;
for thou knowest sudden joy is said to kill as soon as great sorrow. I
had the suit thou sentest me before my eyes, and the lady duchess's
corals about my neck,--held the letter in my hands, and had him that
brought them standing by me; and for all that, I thought what I saw
and felt was but a dream. For who could have thought a goatherd should
ever come to be governor of islands? But what said my mother, 'Who a
great deal must see, a great while must live.' My lady duchess will
tell thee how I long to go to court. Pray think of it, and let me know
thy mind; for I mean to credit thee there, by going in a coach.
"Neither the curate, the barber, the bachelor, nor the sexton, will
believe thou art a governor; but say it is all juggling or
enchantment, as all thy master Don Quixote's concerns used to be; and
Sampson threatens to find thee out, and put this maggot of a
government out of thy pate, and Don Quixote's madness out of his
coxcomb. For my part, I do but laugh at them, and look upon my string
of coral, and contrive how to fit up the suit thou sentest me into a
gown for thy daughter.
"The news here is, that Berrueca has married her daughter to a sorry
painter, that came hither pretending to paint any thing. The township
set him to paint the king's arms over the townhall; he asked them two
ducats for the job, which they paid him: so he fell to work, and was
eight days a-daubing, but could make nothing of it at last, and said
he could not hit upon such puddling kind of work, and so gave them
their money again. Yet for all this he married with the name of a good
workman. The truth is, he has left his pencil upon it, and taken the
spade, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Sanchica makes
bone-lace, and gets her three halfpence a-day clear, which she saves
in a box with a slit, to go towards buying household stuff. But now
she is a governor's daughter, she has no need to work, for thou wilt
give her a portion. The fountain in the market is dried up. A
thunderbolt lately fell upon the pillory: there may they all light! I
expect thy answer to this, and thy resolution concerning my going to
court.
"Thy wife,
"TERESA PANZA."
These letters were admired, and caused a great deal of laughter and
diversion; and, to complete the mirth, at the same time the express
returned that brought Sancho's answer to Don Quixote, which was
likewise publicly read, and startled and delighted all the hearers.
Afterwards, the duchess withdrew to know of the page what he had to
relate of Sancho's village; of which he gave her a full account,
without omitting the least particular.