_Of the ingenious contest between Don Quixote and the Canon; with
other incidents._
"A good jest, truly," said Don Quixote, "that books printed with the
license of kings and the approbation of the examiners, read with
general pleasure, and applauded by great and small, poor and rich,
learned and ignorant, nobles and plebeians,--in short, by people of
every state and condition, should be all lies, and, at the same time,
appear so much like truth! Study well these books, signor; for,
believe me, you will find that they will exhilarate and improve your
mind. Of myself I can only say, that since I have been a knight-errant
I am become valiant, polite, liberal, well-bred, generous, courteous,
daring, affable, patient, a sufferer of toils, imprisonments, and
enchantments; and although so lately enclosed within a cage like a
maniac, yet do I hope, by the valour of my arm, and the favour of
Heaven, to see myself in a short time king of some kingdom, when I may
display the gratitude and liberality enclosed in this breast of mine;
for, upon my faith, sir, the poor man is unable to exercise the virtue
of liberality; and the gratitude which consists only in inclination is
a dead thing. I shall, therefore, rejoice when fortune presents me
with an opportunity of exalting myself, that I may shew my heart in
conferring benefits on my friends, especially on poor Sancho Panza
here, my squire, who is one of the best men in the world; and I would
fain bestow on him an earldom, as I have long since promised: although
I am somewhat in doubt of his ability in the government of his
estate."
Sancho overhearing his master's last words, said, "Take you the
trouble, Signor Don Quixote, to procure me that same earldom which
your worship has so often promised, and I have been so long waiting
for, and you shall see that I shall not want for ability to govern
it. But even if I should, there are people, I have heard say, who farm
these lordships, and, paying the owners so much a-year, take upon
themselves the government of the whole; whilst his lordship lolls at
his ease, enjoying his estate, without concerning himself any further
about it. Just so will I do, and give myself no more trouble than
needs must, but enjoy myself like any duke, and let the world rub."
"This, brother Sancho," said the canon, "may be done, as far as
regards the management of your revenue; but the administration of
justice must be attended to by the lord himself; and requires
capacity, judgment, and above all, an upright intention, without which
nothing prospers: for Heaven assists the good intent of the simple,
and disappoints the evil designs of the cunning." "I do not understand
these philosophies," answered Sancho; "all I know is, that I wish I
may as surely have an earldom as I should know how to govern it; for I
have as large a soul as another, and as large a body as the best of
them; and I should be as much king of my own dominion as any other
king; and, being so, I would do what I pleased; and, doing what I
pleased, I should have my will; and, having my will, I should be
contented; and, being content, there is no more to be desired; and,
when there is no more to desire, there's an end of it, and let the
estate come; so peace be with ye, and let us see it, as one blind man
said to another." "These are no bad philosophies, as you say, Sancho,"
quoth the canon; "nevertheless, there is a great deal more to be said
upon the subject of earldoms." "That may be," observed Don Quixote;
"but I am guided by the numerous examples offered on this subject by
knights of my own profession, who, in compensation for the loyal and
signal services they had received from their squires, conferred upon
them extraordinary favours, making them absolute lords of cities and
islands; indeed, there was one whose services were so great that he
had the presumption to accept of a kingdom." With all this methodical
raving the canon was no less amused than astonished.
As they were thus employed, they suddenly heard a noise, and the sound
of a little bell from a thicket near to them; at the same instant, a
beautiful she-goat, speckled with black, white, and grey, ran out of
the thicket, followed by a goatherd, calling to her aloud, in the
usual language, to stop and come back to the fold. The fugitive
animal, trembling and affrighted, ran to the company, claiming, as it
were, their protection; but the goatherd pursued her, and, seizing her
by the horns, addressed her as a rational creature, "Ah, wanton
spotted thing, how hast thou strayed of late! What wolves have
frighted thee, child? Wilt thou tell me, pretty one, what this means?
But what else can it mean, but that thou art a female, and therefore
canst not be quiet! A plague on thy humours, and on all theirs whom
thou resemblest! Turn back, my dear, turn back; for though not
content, at least thou wilt be more safe in thine own fold, and among
thy companions; for if thou, who shouldst protect and guide them, go
astray, what must become of them?"
The party were very much amused by the goatherd's remonstrances; and
the canon said, "I entreat you, brother, not to be in such haste to
force back this goat to her fold; for, since she is a female, she will
follow her natural inclination in spite of all your opposition. Come,
do not be angry, but eat and drink with us, and let the wayward
creature rest herself." At the same time he offered him the hinder
quarter of a cold rabbit on the point of a fork. The goatherd thanked
him, and accepted his offer; and being then in a better temper, he
said, "Do not think me a fool, gentlemen, for talking so seriously to
this animal: for, in truth, my words were not without a meaning; and
though I am a rustic, I know the difference between conversing with
men and beasts." "I doubt it not," said the priest; "indeed, it is
well known that the mountains breed learned men, and the huts of
shepherds contain philosophers." "At least, sir," replied the
goatherd, "they contain men who have some knowledge gained from
experience; and if I shall not be intruding, gentlemen, I will tell
you a circumstance which confirms it."
"Since this affair," said Don Quixote, "bears somewhat the semblance
of an adventure, for my own part, friend, I shall listen to you most
willingly: I can answer also for these gentlemen, who are persons of
sense, and will relish the curious, the entertaining, and the
marvellous, which I doubt not but your story contains; I entreat you,
friend, to begin it immediately." "I shall take myself away to the
side of yonder brook," said Sancho, "with this pasty, of which I mean
to lay in enough to last three days at least: for I have heard my
master Don Quixote say that the squire of a knight-errant should eat
when he can, and as long as he can, because he may lose his way for
six days together in a wood; and then, if a man has not his stomach
well filled, or his wallet well provided, there he may stay, till he
is turned into a mummy." "Thou art in the right, Sancho," said Don
Quixote; "go where thou wilt, and eat what thou canst; my appetite is
already satisfied, and my mind only needs refreshment, which the tale
of this good man will doubtless afford." The goatherd being now
requested by the others of the company to begin his tale, he patted
his goat, which he still held by the horns, saying, "Lie thee down by
me, speckled fool; for we shall have time enough to return to our
fold." The goat seemed to understand him; for as soon as her master
was seated, she laid herself quietly down by him, and, looking up into
his face, seemed to listen to his story, which he began as follows.