Not all the warriors of the Fenians were noted for their bravery. It is
now necessary that we become acquainted with Conan, the unheroic member
of the band. The stories do not tell how he ever passed his entrance
trials, or why he was allowed to remain a member. He did many things the
Fenians considered as unworthy of them.
Conan was a man with an evil tongue. He never had a good word for any
one. No matter what his companions did, Conan would never have a word of
praise for them. He would make sneering remarks about the feat. This did
not mean that he would have done better himself. Far from it! He was a
great coward and shirked any task which had any danger attached to it.
The fact that he had lost all his hair gave him his name. But there was
something else about him that gave the Fenians a great deal of
amusement. Whenever his armor was cut at the back, it showed everyone
that he had the back of a sheep. When you hear how he got such a back,
you will not wonder why the Fenians enjoyed the joke so much.
One day Finn, Conan and several other heroes were out hunting. All day
long they had followed the chase, and in the afternoon they arrived in a
new country, before a beautiful castle. Seeing no one around they went
in. They found themselves in a large room, down the center of which ran
a big table loaded with food. Along the sides of the table were rows of
high-backed chairs.
As there was no one around, and as the feast seemed to have been just
prepared, the men decided that it had been placed there for them. They
sat down and began to eat. It was a delicious meal.
Suddenly something about the room made Finn look up from his food. When
they had come in, the ceiling had been high and richly decorated. Now it
was changing into the smoke-stained roof of a hut. Finn knew then that
they had walked into an enchanted house, put there just to trap them. He
called out a warning to his companions and ordered them all outside
immediately.
When they were free from the house, and saw the great change that had
taken place in it, they were, thankful for Finn’s wisdom in getting them
out before it had been too late.
But they were not all out. Conan was still in the room eating like a
pig. They called to him, urging him to hurry. He refused to leave such a
fine array of food. At last two of the Fenians rushed in and took him by
the arms. When they pulled at him they found that the enchantment was
already beginning to work. He was growing fast to the back of the chair.
Conan was now thoroughly alarmed. He begged the men to pull him loose.
The two Fenians pulled with all their might. With a mighty wrench they
freed him, but his shirt and the skin of his back had grown fast to the
chair.
He was in a very painful condition. Something had to be done to relieve
him. He just lay on the ground and moaned and groaned.
“Kill a sheep and cover the wound with the skin of the animal,” ordered
Finn.
The men did his bidding. The skin of the freshly killed sheep was cut to
fit and bound to his sore back. Then Finn gave him a drink of water from
his cupped hands and restored his strength to him. The sheepskin grew
fast and could never be removed, so Conan always had to wear it.
With all Conan’s cowardice, he really did come out victorious in one
battle. But when you hear of this particular combat, you will understand
why the Fenians, instead of honoring him for it, had less respect for
him than ever.
During the progress of one battle, when a hostile army had landed on the
shores of Erin, one champion stood out in front each morning and
demanded single combat.
“If you are not afraid of me,” he would call, “why don’t you send a man
to meet me?”
He was not a great hero and the Fenians refused to be bothered with him
alone. Finally, when they grew tired of hearing the challenge, as a joke
they sent Conan out to fight with him. A roar of laughter came from the
Fenians as Conan went cautiously out to meet this man. The enemy gave a
cry of rage at the insult, and the champion called out angrily:
“What do you mean by sending a clown to meet me? Is there not a man
among you who dares to face me?”
Conan came forward slowly, afraid for his life. When he got close to the
champion, the latter said sarcastically:
“The Fenians seem anxious that I be left unharmed, since they send me
such a dangerous foe.”
“You are in more danger from the man behind you, than from the one in
front of you,” said the cowardly Conan.
The champion looked around to see what he meant. At that moment Conan
swung his sword and cut off the man’s head.
This treacherous way of winning a combat angered Finn and the Fenians
beyond all measure. They considered that Conan had disgraced them. It is
a wonder they did not put him to death. His only punishment was
banishment from the band for a short time. We find him in the later
stories, just as full of trickery, just as cowardly and just as
uncomplimentary to his companions, but still the butt of all their
jokes.