_The Old Woman relates to Mrs._ Dorothy, _where she was born, in an Ale
house; how educated in all manner of debauchery; how she had a
Bastard, which she murther’d, is after marriage gotten with Child by
a_ Moor, _and perswades her Husband it was his, notwithstanding, it
being conceived so by the strength of imagination. Her Husband growing
jealous of the Black_ Moor, _fights him; and they kill one the other.
A strange adventure between her Lover and a_ Frenchman, _with a Wind
mill_.
I was born (said she) at _Portsmouth_; a Sea-Port-Town, very well known,
not only to most _English_ Men, but also to many Strangers. My Parents
were of the ordinary ranck, keeping a fudling School, or House of good
fellow-ship. I was educated, according to the Custom of the place, to
learn to read, and Sew; in learning of which having spent two or three
years, at the Age of eleven I was taken home to sit in the Barr and keep
the scores; I was well pleased to be at home, because there was great
variety of Guests; especially merry drunken Saylors: who, when they had
liberty to come ashore, would lustily booz it; and sing, and dance, all
weathers. And to that end, our House was still accommodated with a blind
Harper, who pick’d up a merry living: I taking pleasure in Musick, and
my Father thinking it would advance his trading, bought for me a pair of
Virginals; and hired a man to teach me: I giving my mind to it, soon
learnt some tunes, which I played to the merry Saylers, whilst they
pull’d off their shoes, and danc’t Lustick; and sometimes I gaining a
Teaster, or Groat for my Musick, was so encouraged, that I quickly took
all the instructions my Master was able to give me; I likewise learned
some songs of him, and some of the Saylers; so that in little time I was
well furnished with fat and lean Songs; so we term’d the bawdy and
others. Although I soon understood what was meant by bawdy Songs; yet I
was yet to young to have experience of them: however, when my Auditors
laugh’d, and sometimes hug’d and kiss’d me, I had some kind of Notions
that were very pleasing to me; and although my Mother sometimes told me
of the hateful name of Whore, and how much it concerned me to keep my
Maiden-head; yet I resolved that if it were long ere I were married, yet
it should not be so before I tryed what it was to lye with a Man:
however I followed my Mothers directions, in frowning, and scouling on
those who forc’d a kiss from me. But, as I had designed, so it came to
pass; for at the Age of fourteen years, a Sayler, who of all other sort
of People, I liked best, gained my good liking: he newly came home from
a boon Voyage, and was full of half Crown pieces, and took up his
quarters at our house; my Father seeing him so flush, was resolved to
milk him; and therefore permitted him to keep me Company, though he saw
he was very familiar in hugging and kissing me; I likewise had a great
mind to some of his money, and therefore begg’d some of him to buy
Ginger-bread, Sugar, Plumbs, Figgs, Fruit, and such like liquorish
things; he believing, that as I had a liquorish tooth, so I might have a
liquorish Tail, refused me no moneys I desired; but I being somewhat
modest in the smallness of my demands, had but little that wayes by fair
play; therefore I bethought me, how I might be Mistress of more;
therefore was resolved, at the next opportunity, to pick his pocket,
which I guess’d would be no difficult matter to do; in regard he was
oftentimes much overtaken with the Creature; and therefore, to the end I
might effect my desires, when we were met next together, I drank pretty
smartly with him, and conveyed some strong waters into each cup of his
Beer; and so in short time he being somewhat tipsie, desired me to sing
him a song, which I performing, he was quickly, as I supposed fallen
asleep; I sat in his lap, and as cunningly as I could, slipt my hand
into his Pocket; where I gathered up three or four half Crowns; as
sleepy as he was, he observed me, and while I was at my work, he was at
his; and as slighly he conveyed one of his hands into another place,
having not as yet been at that sport; I squeek’d out, which made him
rise, and me withdraw my hand, and both of us leave our Prizes; and I
blushing for anger, that I was so doubly catch’d, would have left the
Room; but he taking hold of me, desired me to be quiet, and told me,
what was done on his part was but in jest, as he supposed what I did
was; and that it was but _quid_ for _quo_. I having by this time gained
some confidence, was, at his entreaty, content to stay longer with him,
and sung another song; which when I had done, he gave me four half
Crowns (a greater sum than I was ever till then Mistress of) and told
me, since he knew what I would have, he would give it me, as he hoped I
would do the like. To which I replyed, I knew not what I might do in
time, if he continued his kindness to me. Thus did I encourage him to be
liberal to me, in hopes of his desired reward: and thus neither of us
(knowing one anothers minds) was long backwards, without enjoying our
desires; he giving me some money and a Ring. I permitted him to enjoy me
as fully as he could wish or desire; and many rancounters we had
together, both at home and abroad, as time and place would permit: but
as the longest day will have an end so had his money; and then my Father
perceiving that it was low ebb in his Pocket, began to be more wary and
circumspect of him, and to watch him, and slight him, lest he should
gain anything upon me, and run into his score; and so he might lose as
much in the shire, as he had got in the hundred; the Old Woman, my
Mother, being somewhat suspicious of me, still watch’d us with much
wariness; and he not having money to treat me abroad at other houses, as
formerly, we were fain to have all our sports at home when we had
conveniency; and there we were so narrowly put to it, that we were
oftentimes in danger to be catch’d.
When my sweet-heart could get any Moneys he would treat me abroad; and
one day having been walking with me, he committed one of the greatest
extravagancies I ever heard of he had drank very hard and was now almost
fluster’d, when coming by the Wind mill which is near our Town, the wind
blowing somewhat moderately, there was a _French man_, who challenged
some _English_ Saylers to shew some feats of activity; among other
exploits, he took hold of one of the wings of the Wind-mill, and holding
fast, was carried round therewith, lighting very orderly on the ground
upon his feet. This was a wonderful, and we thought desperate attempt,
and he much bragg’d of it daring any _English man_ to do the like: my
sweet-heart being with me, and desirous to gain my esteem, and being
somewhat pot shaken, makes no more ado, but likewise takes hold of one
of the wings of the Windmil; which by reason the wind blew more freshly
than it had done lately, caused the Mill to go more swiftly then
ordinary; and he not being able to hold fast, was thrown off: but though
it was a pretty way off, yet to his good Fortune, he was not thrown to
the ground (which would have broken his bones,) but into a pond of
water; and there he being very skilful in swimming, soon recovering
himself, swam to the shore; and not forgetting what he had done, cryed
out, _Now let any Mounsieur of ye all do the like_. All there present
did much applaud him; some attributing that to his design and skill,
which indeed was by chance; and truly, it was a good chance for him,
that he broke not his neck: but he then escaped any further danger: and
some Merchants being there present, were so surprized with the manner of
the action that they gave him ten shillings to drink; he being thus
rewarded for his folly, thought it his best course to go home; where we
being come, and my Father made acquainted with the matter, and that he
had money in his Pocket made much of him, and perswaded him to go to
bed; and my Mother procured him a Sack posset, which we all eat of at
his beds side; but little did they think that this was a kind of a
Bride-posset: for, although we were not married that day, yet we lay
together that night; for when they were in their bed, in went I to his;
where he expected me, having before enjoyned me to make use of that
opportunity, which I did, to both our good intents: for we enjoyed one
another in full freedom of all dilights: this being the first and last
time I ever lay with him: for not long after, his coyn being spent, and
a Voyage presented it self, he Shipp’d himself, and away he went for the
_East Indies_; we promising a constant continuance of our affections.
But he being gone, it was not long, ere I found a strange alteration in
my body, being taken with pewkings, and vomitings, such as young Married
folks are used to have; whereupon I concluded, that I should soon have a
great belly, which so fell out; but before that, I had a Husband to
Father it.
Our House being publique, we entertained all Comers; amongst the rest,
there came a Sayler, who had had the Fortune to meet with a prize; and
he for his own share had two hundred pounds Sterling. This was so tall a
Fortune as was unusual to be the possession of an ordinary Sayler; and
he chancing in at our house, my Father was very desirous to rid him of
his mony: he acquainted my Mother with his purpose, and told her, that
this Fellow would make a very good Fortune for me their Daughter; and
they might by means of this live more plentifully then ever. The Fellow
soon expressed a great deal of love for me, which my mother taking
notice of, told me of her own and my Fathers intentions, and bid me
prepare to entertain his love, for they designed him for my Husband; she
advised me to be free and courteous to him, but by no means to let him
proceed further then the ordinary civility. I promised her all
obedience, and she was very diligent and watchful over me. My sweet
heart was very sweet upon me, and would fain have been dealing with me,
as Merchandize, bidding very fair for me, but I resolved to have all or
none; would not let him have a bit, but what was lawful: he being thus
stopt, was the more earnest; and at length, rather than lose me, agreed
to have me at my own terms which was marriage; which at length was fully
agreed upon. But my qualmes encreasing as did my belly, my Mother
suspected somewhat was the matter, and therefore took me strictly to
task; and so wrought with me; that I confessed I had been sporting with
my former sweet-heart; this news much startled her; but she who had
passed many such brunts, soon found out a remedy; and told me that if I
would be wholly ruled by her, she would still warrant the business
should go on prosperously enough; for, said she, I will direct you to
carry your self, so as the loss of your Maiden-head shall not be
discovered; and as for your great Belly, we will when you are marryed,
send your husband to Sea before your time of delivery: and in the mean
time, we will manage all matter cunningly enough. My Mother having thus
encouraged me, I prepared for the wedding day, which was soon after
appointed; which being come, and night also, we went to bed; and there
my Bride-groom going about to enjoy me, I counterfeited all kinds of
simplicity; I cryed, sob’d, and screeked out; and he had much ado, with
puffing and blowing, and sweating, to possess himself of me. I had all
the marks and symptoms of untouch’d Virginity; and the more to beguile
him, notwithstanding all his fair words, and endeavours, I made so great
a noise as raised my Mother; who coming into our chamber, found me in
swound; from which she soon brought me, by rubbing me with Vinegar, and
other Remedies; and she perswaded me to be patient, and desired him to
deal kindly with me, using this Proverb; _Gently_, John, _the Girls
Young_, She left us, and then with somewhat more Patience I permitted
him to take his pleasure with me.
Thus was I marryed, and came off with all Credit imaginable; but
afterwards it did not proceed as we expected; for my Husband being very
fond of my company, would not by any means be perswaded to leave me for
the Sea; but intended, now he had gained money enough, to live on shore.
This resolution of his was very unpleasing; but I was forced to be
contended, and to provide against the time of my delivery of my great
Belly, which now came on a pace, and indeed was somewhat sooner than I
expected; for I was taken one day with a suddain pain, which much
surprized my Mother; for my Husband was in the House, and hearing my
cryes, would needs force his way into my Chamber; where I was
accompanyed by my Mother, who was instructing me what to do; on his
approach to the Bed, my pains encreased, and a Child was born into the
World; but, that he might not discover the fallacy, by the crying of the
Child, I smothered it; and lying still for some space, my Mother
perswaded him to depart; he being gone, my Mother fell to work; and
removed the Child, playing the Midwife in the best manner she could; and
all being buried, and _I_ put into order, she told her Son in law, that
these were extream fits of the Chollick, and would now they had begun,
continue for some dayes; wherefore she desired him to take another
Lodging, and let her lye with me: to this he hardly consented; but at
length, at both our importunities, he was content, and in ten dayes
time, I still every day counterfeited fits of groaning, but he seeing I
sensibly amended, would no longer forbear lying with me.
Thus did I escape this misfortune, and came off with flying Colours,
without the least suspition; so that I was encouraged to proceed in
further Roguries; which was the ruine of my Husband, and in which I had
like to have been involved. I told you our house was for all Guests; and
now by the addition of my Husbands money, which was employed in my
Fathers Trade, to encrease his stock, our house the best furnished, was
the best customed house in the Town; amongst the rest, there came a
Person of Honour, who had been a Traveller, and among his Attendants a
Negro, or Black-man, which he had brought from _Guiana_. This Black-more
was reported by his Master and others, to be the Son of a Prince in his
own Country; I look’d on him with an affectionate and smiling
countenance; which he perceiving, and also that I was handsome, much
desired my company; and being Master of money enough to spend on me, he
had many opportunities of courting me; at the first, I examining what I
was about to do drew back, thinking it a very strange thing to be kiss’d
by a Black-more, but use brought it into Custom; and I endured not only
that, but also methought I had a minde to taste of his flesh, perswading
my self, that there would be more than ordinary satisfaction in that
enjoyment; and he finding me coming, so prosecuted his suit, that it was
not long ere I enjoyed him: I must confess much to my content, for
nothing but his sparkling eyes was to be seen in the dark, which indeed
were as shining, as two stars in a clear night; and he was as much
delighted with me: so that we promised to take all opportunities for
enjoyment. The Lords business kept him there so long, that we had so
much sport in jest, as turned to earnest; for I found my self to be with
child, and I did absolutely believe that my Black-friend was the Father
of it: this consideration put me into a deep melancholly; for we carried
our business not so privately, but that we were taken notice of, and
suspected by my Mother; but much more by my Husband, whose extreme love
to me was converted into as extreme a jealousie; and he looked on my
Black-friend with a great deal of horror.
I finding my self with Childe, and doubting it was by him, a fancy
possessed me, that I should bring forth a Black-More like the Father:
this, I say put me to a very great _non-plus_; and I endeavoured by all
means to blind my Husband, and take all suspition from him: I told him,
I believed I was with Child, this pleased him; but I also added, I
doubted, I should not render him compleatly satisfied: for that I had a
very great fancy that the Child would be black, and I could give no
reason, but that the sight of my Lords Black-More was deeply imprinted
in my fancy: I told him, I had read the story of a Black Queen and King,
who had a Child that was white; and being so born, was thrust out of the
King his Fathers Dominions, for no other cause but because he was white;
and the Queen his Mother hardly escaped the fury of her Husband, who
shrewdly suspected her guilty of Adultry with some white-man, because
the Child was so. This said I, was the Crime laid to her charge; and it
seemed so reasonable to him and all his Nobility; that notwithstanding
the Queen was alwayes esteemed to be a vertuous woman, yet she hardly
escaped with her life. But at length, a wise man of that Kingdome coming
to the Court, and hearing of the matter, and that the Queen was banished
as well as her Son; he, said I, walking about the Court, and coming into
the Kings Bed-chamber, there saw the Picture of a fair white-woman,
which had, as great rariety, been presented to the King he then
remembring the unfortunate case of the Queen, did really believe that
the sight of that white Picture had occasioned the Queen to conceive and
bring forth a white Child. Being thus convinced, and perswaded in his
own opinion, he was not long before he perswaded the King to the same;
and the Queen having been alwayes of an unblemisht reputation, it was
concluded by the King, and all the Nobility, that the Queen was
innocent: and thereupon the banishment was repealed, and both received
home with great joy, state, and honour; and this Son, after his Fathers
decease, was crowned, and reigned King of the Place. Now sweet-heart,
said I, this being so, and fancy having so strong an operation in the
womb by the only site of a Picture, I cannot but imagine that the real
presence of one may work much more and greater effects, especially since
I find a very great inclination not only to love, but long for black
things; black cherries, I affect extreamly, as also damsons, sloes, &
black-bullies; I chiefly feed on black puddings; and it is not very
long, said I, since I longed for a black hat, and did eat it up every
bit: and now I have lately had a great desire to a dish of butter’d
char-coal.
This discourse wrought variously with my Husband, who, although he did
somewhat suspect me, yet would he take no great notice at present, but
told me, that surely this was but fancy, and would in the end amount to
nothing: I was content with his answer; but knowing his mind stood
thereto bent, I first propounded, that the Black-more should depart our
house, or else that I might remove from home to some other place, to
see, if by his absence the fancy would leave me: to this he willingly
agreed; and in regard to move for the Black-more’s departure until his
Lord went also, would not only raise suspicious Discourses, but turn to
our disadvantage, by reason they were good Guests; we therefore resolved
that I should remove four or five miles from home; the which I did the
next day; but my departure was not so secret, but that I gave notice
thereof to my beloved Black-more, who promised not to be long before he
took the opportunity of giving me a visit; the which he did unseen of
any, I letting him in at a back Garden door; and thither he usually came
to me once in two or three days: we sometimes spent some hours together
in a Banqueting-house in the Garden; and at last grew so bold, as to
spend whole nights in bed together; so that my Husband, who sorely
suspected me, was resolved to watch my waters; and one Evening missing
the Black-more, who was then come to me, he at midnight departed; and
coming to the back door whereat the Black-more entred, he finding it
open, entered, saw the Candle in my Chamber, and I believe could hear
our voyces, but knew not how to enter without great noise; wherefore,
now resolving in his mind what to do, he waited till the morning,
walking about the Garden; but in regard the Black-more had some affairs
of his Lords that morning to dispatch, he arose early, and left me; I
shut fast the door, and left him; no sooner was he down, but my angry
Husband with a drawn sword meets him; he seeing and knowing him, guessed
his purpose, likewise quickly draws; and they running upon one anothers
swords, soon bereft each other of life.
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