_Mrs._ Dorothy _rehearses how she cheats her Lovers; who being with
Child, made all that had to do with her contribute to her expence in
lying in, and recompence her lost honour. She goes into the country to
lay her great Belly; in her Journey she falls into the acquaintance of
a crafty Old Woman_ (alias: _a Procurer_.)
Mrs. _Dorothy_ having thus given me an account of her first Adventure, I
received much satisfaction in the Relation; and told her that I found
she was much improved in cunning since my first acquaintance with her;
for I had enjoyed her without much advantage to her self, for she had a
great Belly, with little profit, not knowing who was, or were to find a
Father: whereas now she had her choice of three, and money enough to
boot whereby to purchase a handsome provision for her self and child.
Yes, reply’d she, I did not intend to be caught again; for then it would
have been my own fault, you having experienced me in the fallacies of
your Sex; and therefore, as I told you, I made my bargain with all my
three Friends as politickly as I could; and upon second thoughts,
altered somewhat of the terms I had formerly agreed upon: for whereas my
first Customer had given me twenty pounds in hand, to provide me with
necessaries during my time of lying in, and had agreed to provide for
the Child, when it should be born: I told him I had provided a Nurse for
it already that was willing to take all the charge, and discharge him
from any further trouble, upon payment of fourty pounds more; to this he
easily consented, and gave Bond in to me, in the name of a Friend of
mine; whom I told him was the Party that would make provision for the
Child.
Thus did I settle matters with the first: and with the second I
continued my bargain, of having twenty pounds down, and fifty pounds
more at the birth of the Child. And my Masters Brother and I continued
our old bargain of the like sum, of twenty pounds down, and fifty pounds
more, to be paid at 6 moneths; neither did I discontinue my
familiarities with any of them; for I managed my affairs so cunningly,
that some nights I lay with my first Customer without the knowledge of
my Master’s Brother, from whom I endeavoured only to conceal it, and not
from my second for he, as I told you, was privy to my dealings with him,
and by that means only first gained his ends upon me: sometimes I lay
with my second Customer, but it was with some regret, for I had the
least affection for him of the three; but now he since he had bled some
of his yellow pieces, and give me what I desired of him, I could not
well refuse him his desires of me, neither was he so shy as formerly;
for he valued not though my Masters Brother sometimes discovered us, for
he knew that our dealings were not concealed from him, and therefore he
was the bolder. But with my Masters Brother I was more free than ever;
he having as much again for his money as either of the other, neither
was it perceived by either of them; for he having the command of the
house, so ordered it, that my Lodging was nearest to his; and therefore
we had the more conveniency to come at one another.
We drave this trade for some Moneths, till in the end my Master’s
Brother gaining the goodwill of his Sweet-heart, he was married to her,
and then he for some time fell off. But he had not lain with his Wife
above a fortnight, but he became weary of her embraces, and renewed his
love again to me; I at first withstood him, and used Arguments to
disswade him from any such course; but all would not do; for he told me
he found but little pleasure in the cold embraces of his Wife; neither
had he married her, but for her Estate, which was considerable; many
other Arguments he used to perswade me, who was not altogether
unwilling; and so we again renewed our former pleasure; but we were
necessitated to be very private, and only now and then to have a private
meeting in the day time, for he was to accompany his Wife in the Night.
But as privately, and craftily as we carried our selves, we were at
length discovered; for my second Customer, after he had paid for his
pleasure, was more desirous to have his penny-worths out of me, and
still importuned me to interviews so often, that I much grumbled at him;
and he being a weary Fox, still dogg’d and watch’d me, and that so
often, that at length he found me and my Masters Brother in our strict
embraces; he being both glad and angry, without any [by your leave]
entered the Room where we were (the door being only carelesly put to)
and without any words approaching the Bed whereon we lay, drew the
Curtains, and said; well, Master _John_ (for so was his name) that sawce
which is good for the Goose, I hope will be good for the Gander; self
do, self have; I hope, Sir, since you have put in for your share in the
pleasure, you will be share, and share like in the charge. Well, replyed
Mr. _John_, it shall be even as honest Mrs. _Dorothy_ will have it; and
thereupon removed, and sitting upon the Bed, I began to give him bad
words, calling him jealous Coxcomb; and he again flew at me, telling me
that I was insatiate, and that twenty would not serve my turn; and that
now he found the reason of my slighting him, for Mr. _John_; but if we
would not do him Justice, he would be revenged on us both: to that Mr.
_John_ replyed, asking him what he would have? I would, said he, have my
money, and my Bond again; for I see, and find, there is little reason
that I should pay for other mens Leachery; you make me provide for a
Child, that, for ought I know, hath twenty Fathers; well, said I, you
have had too much for your money; and if you are grieved, amend your
self; so I will, said he, furiously going away out of the Room. He being
gone, Mr. _John_ and I fell to consulting, what was to be done in this
affair; and after many propositions, we at length agreed, that it was
most convenient for me to be gone from my service, and to leave
_London_, for some Country Habitation; lest this angred Coxcomb should
mischief us, by discovering our practice to Mr. _John’s_ Wife, or some
else, that was worse: I was willing, and ready to take this course; but
I told Mr. _John_, that moneys would be wanting, to make a handsome
provision for me; for as affairs now stood, there was no expecting any
mony from my angred Customer, but what should be forced from him. That
is true, replyed he; but so soon as the money is due, for which he hath
given you Bond, I will take course with him, and compel him to pay it;
and in the mean time I will furnish you. This was that which I aimed at;
and I knowing that he had lately received a large sum of money for his
Wifes portion, with much ease gained him to pay me the fifty pounds
down, for which he had given me Bond, and being thus provided with
moneys, and making up my pack (which was much improved since my coming)
I prepared for my departure. I as yet knew not what Country to retire
to, but was resolved not to go back into my own; and therefore consulted
with Mr. _John_ about the place; who still hankered after me, resolving
I should not go far, but that he might easily visit me; appointed me a
place about ten Miles from _London_: and because he would not be
suspected of going with me, nor of being any wayes privy to my
departure, he permitted me to take my Journy without him; he promising
in a few dayes to take the opportunity of giving me a visit.
Thus did I leave his Brother’s House; but not so abruptly, but that I
had the leave of my Master and Mistress; whom I told, that my Father
being sick, had sent for me immediately; and to that end, a Letter was
framed by Mr. _John_, and brought me by a Porter.
Being now Coach’d for my Journy, I in short time arrived at the Inn,
where I was appointed to stay, till Mr. _John_ should arrive, and make
better provision for me; where an Adventure befell me, which is worthy
of your hearing: For among the rest of the Travellers, there was an
Antient Woman, who took great notice of me, still looking towards my
Apron, and eying very diligently my belly; which although it was now
somewhat greater, being about three Moneths gone with Child; yet I had
endeavoured, by busking it down, and using all other means to hide it;
but the Old Woman was not so dim-sighted, but she discovered the fraud;
and having been a good one her self in her time, quickly smelt out the
matter; and believed, and guessed the cause right, as it was; for my
thinn Chops, and sharp and whitely looks gave evident testimonies of
what disease I was sick of; and looking more throughly upon me, and
examining the features of my buxome Countenance, she conjectured right,
that some good Fellow had got up my belly at _London_, and I was going
into the Country to be lightned of my burthen: she having a while
considered with her self, that I might be very useful for her in an
affair she had then in hand, was very pleasant with me, desiring my
further acquaintance. I was not shye for the matter, but knowing that I
had money enough to bear me out in any cross adventure that might
happen, was resolved to see what the Old Woman meant by her familiarity.
She first gave me Joy of my great Belly; to which I replyed, she might
be mistaken; well, well, said she it matters not, whether I am or no;
but if it be not so, I wish it were; and methinks it is a pity that you
should be sick of any other disease; for I have so much skill in
_Physiognomy_, that I can tell that you are of a more Jovial Temper than
now your countenance shews for, and it is very unfit, that one of your
years and complexion should want the pleasures of a fit Bed-fellow; but
I suppose you are not ignorant of those enjoyments, and have a Husband,
with whom you have experienced the sweet of a Married Life. Truly,
Madam, said I, you are much mistaken; for I never yet entred into that
honourable Estate of Matrimony. Well, that matters not much, replyed
this good Old one; but I have miss’d of my aim, if you are ignorant of
what I have told you; and although you may have no Husband, yet I
believe you have a Friend, who has been dabling with you, and swel’d
your Belly; if it be so, you are not the only she that is guilty of that
pleasing Crime; for I my self have been good in my time; and still have
a Colts tooth in my head.
Thus did the Old Dotterel initiate her acquaintance with me; and had
well near put me to the blush, but that I turned my face aside, and
gently wip’d it with my Handkerchief; and then I told her she was very
pleasant, and that a little in the extreams, considering the publickness
of the place (there were more Guests in the Room) and our small
acquaintance. As for the place, said she, I must confess, as we are not
all one Womans Children, so we ought to be somewhat careful; but I shall
make amends for that, by desireing you to withdraw into a more private
place; and as for the short time of our acquaintance, I question not,
but we shall quickly set our Horses together, and I hope our present
meeting may be advantagious to us both, especially, if it be as I yet
expect it. What do you mean, said I? That is, replyed she, if you be
with Child, and such a Gamester as I wish you. I was much amazed at this
Womans confidence; but however, she having been so open with me, I
resolved to be as free with her: hoping her words might prove true, and
that some benefit might be made out of her acquaintance; and therefore
advising her to leave that Room, for another more private, she soon
obey’d me; and having entred, and causing a good fire, and Wine to be
brought, we sat down together, not without my receiving some
salutations, and strict embraces from my Antient, but to me new
acquaintance. After we had each of us washed away sorrow with a Cup of
the best Canary, the Old Woman being now more bold than before; again
took me in her arms, & laid her hand hard upon my Belly; when it so
fortuned, that at that very instant the Child gave a gentle turn in my
Belly; which she quickly felt; and then cryed out, Well, Daughter, you
see I was in the right; therefore since I have discovered somewhat, I
pray tell me the rest of your condition; and I question not but you will
receive much profit by your discovery: I was resolved to be very free
with her, and acquaint her with the chiefest of my Adventures; still
concealing so much thereof, as should, or might be convenient to be made
known; whereupon I thus began.
Mother (since you will have it so) I shall make a free confession of my
Crime; hoping you will be merciful in the pennance you shall impose;
seeing, as you say, I am not the alone guilty party; and thereupon I
recounted to her, how that I being born in such a Country, and desirous
to see fashions, went up to _London_, and there happened into a Service;
where my Masters Brother falling in love with me, after some Courtship
(he promising me marriage) we came to enjoyment; that he,
notwithstanding his promise married with another; who indeed exceeded me
in Fortune, as I her in beauty; but my sweet heart soon after marriage
came to me, and repented of his bargain; but since that was past could
not be remedied, I was forced to be contented; and indeed, I having a
great love for him, permitted him still to lye with me, that in the end,
I was with Child by him; and then we consulting what was most necessary
to be done, it was at length concluded, that I should leave my service,
and retire into the Country, till I were rid of my great Belly; and to
that end and purpose, I was now come into the Country, expecting him in
short time to follow me. Thus did I give her a short, though somewhat
true, account of my Fortunes; and when I had done, she thus replyed.
Well, Daughter, since your condition is as I judged it, and indeed hop’d
it to be; I shall play the Chymist, and extract Golden Fortunes to you
out of your own desperate misfortunes; for I doubt, as your Lover hath
once been false to you, so he may prove the second time; and now he hath
sent you a journey, he may leave you to shift for your self; and to look
for another Father for your Child. But, Daughter, (continued she) if you
will be rul’d by me, you shall not only have a rich Father, but a great
fortune for your Child: and perhaps, so much ready money for your self,
as you will not only give me thanks, but reckon this our meeting to be
the most fortunate Accident of your whole Life. I thank you very kindly,
replyed I, for your fair offers, but I shall desire you to explain your
self further; and I suppose I shall put so much confidence in you, as to
be rul’d by you; although I do not in the least doubt that I shall be
put to those extremities you imagine. So much the better, replyed she;
but however, that I may fit you for those purposes I have designed, and
partly propounded to you; I shall give you an account of some part of my
Life and Adventures; and thereupon she thus Began.
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