If the disposing, in the service, of even a ship-load of
assistant-surgeons, is considered a matter of small moment, my disposal,
after reaching the Cape of Good Hope, needs but small comment. I was
very soon appointed to take charge of a gunboat, in lieu of a gentleman
who was sent to the Naval Hospital of Simon's Town, to fill a death
vacancy--for the navy as well as nature abhors a vacuum. I had seen the
bright side of the service, I was now to have my turn of the dark; I had
enjoyed life on board a crack frigate, I was now to rough it in a
gunboat.
The east coast of Africa was to be our cruising ground, and our ship a
pigmy steamer, with plenty fore-and-aft about her, but nothing else; in
fact, she was Euclid's definition of a line to a t, length without
breadth, and small enough to have done "excellently well" as a Gravesend
tug-boat. Her teeth were five: namely, one gigantic cannon, a
65-pounder, as front tooth; on each side a brass howitzer; and flanking
these, two canine tusks in shape of a couple of 12-pounder Armstrongs.
With this armament we were to lord it with a high hand over the Indian
Ocean; carry fire and sword, or, failing sword, the cutlass, into the
very heart of slavery's dominions; the Arabs should tremble at the roar
of our guns and the thunder of our bursting shells, while the slaves
should clank their chains in joyful anticipation of our coming; and best
of all, we--the officers--should fill our pockets with prize-money to
spend when we again reached the shores of merry England. Unfortunately,
this last premeditation was the only one which sustained disappointment,
for, our little craft being tender to the flag-ship of the station, all
our hard-earned prize-money had to be equally shared with her officers
and crew, which reduced the shares to fewer pence each than they
otherwise would have been pounds, and which was a burning shame.
It was the Cape winter when I joined the gunboat. The hills were
covered with purple and green, the air was deliciously cool, and the
far-away mountain-tops were clad in virgin snow. It was twelve o'clock
noon when I took my traps on board, and found my new messmates seated
around the table at tiffin. The gunroom, called the wardroom by
courtesy--for the after cabin was occupied by the lieutenant
commanding--was a little morsel of an apartment, which the table and
five cane-bottomed chairs entirely filled. The officers were five--
namely, a little round-faced, dimple-cheeked, good-natured fellow, who
was our second-master; a tall and rather awkward-looking young
gentleman, our midshipman; a lean, pert, and withal diminutive youth,
brimful of his own importance, our assistant-paymaster; a fair-haired,
bright-eyed, laughing boy from Cornwall, our sub-lieutenant; and a "wee
wee man," dapper, clean, and tidy, our engineer, admitted to this mess
because he was so thorough an exception to his class, which is
celebrated more for the unctuosity of its outer than for the smoothness
of its inner man.
"Come along, old fellow," said our navigator, addressing me as I entered
the messroom, bobbing and bowing to evade fracture of the cranium by
coming into collision with the transverse beams of the deck above--"come
along and join us, we don't dine till four."
"And precious little to dine upon," said the officer on his right.
"Steward, let us have the rum," [Note 1] cried the first speaker.
And thus addressed, the steward shuffled in, bearing in his hand a black
bottle, and apparently in imminent danger of choking himself on a large
mouthful of bread and butter. This functionary's dress was remarkable
rather for its simplicity than its purity, consisting merely of a pair
of dirty canvas pants, a pair of purser's shoes--innocent as yet of
blacking--and a greasy flannel shirt. But, indeed, uniform seemed to be
the exception, and not the rule, of the mess, for, while one wore a blue
serge jacket, another was arrayed in white linen, and the rest had
neither jacket nor vest.
The table was guiltless of a cloth, and littered with beer-bottles,
biscuits, onions, sardines, and pats of butter.
"Look out there, Waddles!" exclaimed the sub-lieutenant; "that beggar
Dawson is having his own whack o' grog and everybody else's."
"Dang it! I'll have _my_ tot to-day, I know," said the
assistant-paymaster, snatching the bottle from Dawson, and helping
himself to a very liberal allowance of the ruby fluid.
"What a cheek the fellow's got!" cried the midshipman, snatching the
glass from the table and bolting the contents at a gulp, adding, with a
gasp of satisfaction as he put down the empty tumbler, "The chap thinks
nobody's got a soul to be saved but himself."
"Soul or no soul," replied the youthful man of money as he gazed
disconsolately at the empty glass, "my _spirit's_ gone."
"Blessed," said the engineer, shaking the black bottle, "if you devils
have left me a drain! see if I don't look out for A1 to-morrow."
"Where's the doctor's grog?" cried the sub-lieutenant.
"Ay, where's the doctor's?" said another.
"Where is the doctor's?" said a third.