_First impressions of New York--Marie takes walk alone the next
day--Experience with a white slave agent--Confronted with her
ignorance of the English language, she postpones proceeding to
Philadelphia--Begins housekeeping in a small apartment with her
sister Anna--Astounded by hearing that “female physicians” have no
professional standing in New York, she puts out a sign and seeks
private practice, as she did in Berlin--While waiting for patients,
she builds up a business in making fancy worsted goods, Anna works for
a dressmaker, and they soon become self-supporting. (Twenty-four years
of age: 1853.)_
“Dear Marie, best Marie! make haste to come up on deck to see America!
Oh, how pleasant it is to see the green trees again! How brightly the
sun is gilding the land you are seeking--the land of freedom!”
With such childlike exclamations of delight, my sister Anna burst
into my cabin to hasten my appearance on deck on the morning of the
22nd of May, 1853. The beautiful child of nineteen summers was only
conscious of a heart overflowing with pleasure at the sight of the
charming landscape that opened before her eyes after a tedious voyage
of forty-seven days upon the ocean.
We had reached the quarantine at Staten Island. The captain, the old
pilot, every one, gazed at her as she danced joyously about the deck,
with a mingled feeling of sadness and curiosity, for our reserve while
on shipboard had surrounded us with a sort of mystery which none knew
how to unravel.
As soon as I had dressed for going on shore and had packed up the
things that we had used on our voyage in order that they might not be
stolen during this time of excitement, I obeyed the last call of my
impatient sister to come at least to see the last rays of sunrise and
went on deck, where I was at once riveted by the beautiful scene that
was spread before my eyes.
It was a warm, glorious day. And the green sloping lawns with which
the white cottages formed such a cheerful contrast; the trees clad in
their first foliage, and suggesting hope by their smiling blossoms; the
placid cows feeding quietly in the fields; the domestic chickens just
visible in the distance; and the friendly barking of a dog--all seemed
to greet me with a first welcome to the shores of this strange country;
while the sun shining brightly from an azure sky strewn with soft white
clouds mellowed the whole landscape, and so deeply impressed my soul
that tears sprang to my eyes and a feeling rose in my heart that I can
call nothing else than devotional, for it bowed my knees beneath me and
forced sounds from my lips that I could not translate into words for
they were mysterious to myself.
A stranger in a strange wide land, not knowing its habits and customs,
not understanding its people, nor its workings and aims, yet my mind
was not clouded with loneliness. I was happy. Had it not been my own
wish that had made me leave the home of a kind father and of a mother
beloved beyond all earthly beings. I had succeeded in safely reaching
the shores of America. Life was again open before me.
With these thoughts, I turned from the beautiful landscape and finding
the captain, a noble-hearted sailor, inquired of him how long it
would take us to reach the port of New York. “That is New York,” said
he, pointing to a dark mass of buildings with here and there a spire
towering in the air. “We shall reach there about eight o’clock, but it
is Sunday and you will have to stay on board till to-morrow.” With this
he turned away, calling his men to weigh anchor, as the physician whose
duty it was to inspect the cargo of men, like cattle, had just left in
his boat.
On we went, my sister still dancing and singing for joy; and Mr. R.
and myself sitting somewhat apart, he looking despondently into the
water, and I with my head firmly raised in the air, happy in heart, but
thoughtful in mind and trusting in my inward strength for the future.
I took my breakfast on deck. No one seemed to have any appetite, and I
felt somewhat reproved when I heard some one near me say, “She seems to
have neither head nor heart--see how tranquilly she can eat at such a
time as this!” These words were spoken by one of the cabin passengers,
a young man who was exceedingly curious to know why I was going to
America and had several times tried to make the rest of the passengers
believe that it must be in consequence of an unhappy love. The poor
simpleton! he thought that women could enter into life only through the
tragedy of a broken heart.
A bell sounded. We were opposite Trinity Church whose bell had just
tolled eight. On our right were masses of brick houses and tall
chimneys surrounded by a forest of masts; on our left were the romantic
shores of New Jersey. Islands and projecting points of land, clad in
the brilliant green of the fresh spring foliage, greeted the eye;
ferryboats, like monstrous white swans, glided to and fro from the
shores; rowboats plied everywhere, the white or red shirts of the
oarsmen giving a bright touch of color to the ever-changing panorama.
Such was the scene which gave us our first impressions of this new
country, seeming to proclaim as its welcome freedom and hospitality to
all newcomers.
This new civilization was utterly different from what we had been
taught about the United States. Indeed, I think many of the passengers
expected to see a _half-civilized_ community who, under a rather
anarchical state of government called a “republic,” did just as
each individual pleased, and who would greet every newcomer with an
enthusiastic joy, inviting him to come and partake of all the good the
country could offer.
Such, or similar, were the vague ideas which many passengers of the
good ship _Deutschland_ entertained no matter whether in the cabin
or steerage. The captain had done his best to rectify these false
expectations but with very little success, I am sure.
Therefore, the picture that unrolled itself as we approached slowly
from the quarantine to the dock, while arousing the old enthusiasm
that started the emigrants from their homes, brought also a kind of
disappointment--a surprise to see a well-built and well-regulated
“brick-house” city with all the accessories of a large commercial port;
a city, in fact, to all appearances not very much unlike European
cities. But the admiration with which I had gazed upon Staten Island
was gone as I stood before this beautiful scene; the appreciation of
nature was mastered by another feeling, a feeling of activity that had
become my ideal.
I had come here for a purpose--to carry out the plan which a despotic
government and its servile agents had prevented me from doing in
my native city. I had to show to those men who had opposed me so
strongly because I was a woman that, in this land of liberty, equality
and fraternity, I could maintain that position which they would not
permit to me at home. My talents were in an unusual direction. I was a
physician, and, as such, had for years moved in the most select circles
of Berlin. Even my enemies had been forced to give me the highest
testimonials, and these were the only treasure that I brought to this
country, for I had given my last dollar to the sailor who brought me
the first news that land was in sight.
I looked again upon New York, but with a feeling that a great mystery
was lying before my eyes--a feeling that was confirmed by the men who
came off to the ship in small boats speaking a language that seemed
like a chaos of sounds.
Then, though standing before the promised land of freedom and in spite
of all youthful enthusiasm and vigor, a sadness overcame me, especially
one which bordered very closely on homesickness, even before my foot
had been once more planted on _terra firma_.
As I turned, I saw my sister coming slowly up from the cabin with a
changed air; and I asked her with surprise what was the matter. “O
Marie!” said she, “most of the passengers are called for. Mr. R.’s
brother has just come to take him on shore. He was so glad to see him
(for he thought he was in New Orleans), that I think he will forget to
say good-by. I am afraid that we shall have to stay here all alone,
and----” “Are the Misses Zakrzewska on board?” called a voice from a
little boat by the side of the ship. We looked down in surprise but
did not recognize the man, who spoke as if he were an acquaintance.
The captain answered, “Yes.” Upon which the same voice said, “Mr. G.
requests them to wait; he will be here in a moment.”
This announcement surprised us the more that it came from a totally
unexpected quarter. An acquaintance of ours, who had emigrated to New
York a few years before and had shortly after married a Mr. G. had
heard from her brother in Berlin of our departure for America in the
ship _Deutschland_, and these good people, thinking that they
could be of use to us in a new country, had been watching for its
arrival.
No one on board dared ask a question as to who our friends were, so
reserved had we been in regard to our plans. Only the young man who
had accused me of having neither head nor heart said, half aside, “Ah
ha! Now we know the reason why Miss Marie ate her breakfast so calmly,
while her sister danced for joy. They had beaus who were expecting
them.” “Simpleton!” thought I, “must women always have beaus in order
to be calm about the future?”
Mr. G. came on board in a few minutes, bringing us from his wife an
invitation of welcome to her house. I cannot express in words the
emotion awakened in my heart by the really unselfish kindness that
had impelled these people to greet us in this manner; and this was
increased when we reached their very modest dwelling, consisting of a
large shop in which Mr. G. carried on his business of manufacturing
fringes and tassels, one sitting room, a bedroom and a small kitchen.
My strength left me, and my composure dissolved in a flood of tears.
The good people did all that they could to make us feel at home, and
insisted that we should occupy the sitting room until we had decided
what to do further. Of course, I determined that this should be for as
short a time as possible, and that we would immediately look out for
other lodgings. But for the moment, nothing but pleasure was in our
hearts. Questions and answers concerning friends and relations at home
filled every minute, and joy and thankfulness to be safe and sound on
land quickened the heart beats.
One-half of this first day was spent in talking about home; the other,
in making an excursion to Hoboken. This visit we would gladly have
dispensed with, so exhausted were we by the excitement that we had
passed through since sunrise, but our friends were bent on entertaining
us with stories and sights of the New World, and we followed them
rather reluctantly. I have since been glad that I did so, for my mind
was in a state that rendered it far more impressible than usual and
therefore better fitted to observe much that would have been lost to me
in a less-excited condition.
Here I first saw the type of common German life on Sunday in America,
and I saw enough of it on that one Sunday afternoon to last a whole
lifetime. My friends called on several of their acquaintances.
Everywhere that we went, I noticed two peculiarities--comparative
poverty in the surroundings and apparent extravagance in the manner of
living. For in every house we found an abundance of wine, beer, cake,
meat, salad, etc., although it was between the hours of meals; and
every one was eating, although no one seemed hungry. At nine o’clock in
the evening, the visit was concluded by going to a hotel, where a rich
supper was served up to us; and at eleven at night we returned home.
My work in America had already commenced. Was it not necessary for a
stranger in a new country to observe life in all its phases before
entering upon it? It seemed so to me, and I had already planned while
on shipboard to spend the first month in observations of this kind.
I had made a fair beginning, and when I saw many repetitions of this
kind of life among my countrymen, I feared that this was their main
purpose in this country and their consolation for the loss of the
entertainments and recreations which their fatherland offered to them.
But as soon as I got opportunity to make my observations among the
educated classes, I found my fear ungrounded; and I also found that the
Americans had noticed the impulse for progress and higher development
which animated these Germans. The German mind, so much honored in
Europe for its scientific capacity, for its consistency regarding
principles and for its correct criticism, is not dead here. But it has
to struggle against difficulties too numerous to be detailed here,
and therefore it is that the Americans do not know of its existence,
and the chief obstacle is their different languages. A Humboldt must
remain unknown here unless he chooses to Americanize himself in every
respect--and could he do this without ceasing to be Humboldt, the
cosmopolitan genius?
It would be a great benefit to the development of this country if
the German language were made a branch of education and not simply
an accomplishment. Only then would the Americans appreciate how much
has been done by the Germans to advance higher development and to
diffuse the true principles of freedom. It would serve both parties
to learn how much the Germans aid in developing the reason and in
supporting progress in every direction. The revolution of 1848 has been
more serviceable to America than to Germany, for it has caused the
emigration of thousands of men who would have been the pride of a free
Germany. America has received the German freemen, whilst Germany has
retained the _subjects_.
The next morning, I determined to return to the ship to look after my
baggage. As Mr. and Mrs. G. were busy in their shop, there was no one
to accompany me. I therefore had either to wait until they were at
leisure or to go alone. I chose the latter, and took my first walk in
the city of New York on my way to the North River where the ship was
lying. The noise and bustle everywhere about me absorbed my attention
to such a degree that instead of turning to the right, I went to the
left and found myself at the East River, in the neighborhood of Peck
Slip. Here I inquired after the German ship _Deutschland_ and was
directed, in my native tongue, down to the Battery and thence up to
Pier 13, where I found the ship discharging the rest of her passengers
and their baggage. It was eleven o’clock when I reached the ship; I
had, therefore, taken a three hours’ walk. I had now to wait until the
custom-house officer had inspected my trunk, and afterwards for the
arrival of Mr. G., who came at one o’clock with a cart to convey the
baggage to his house.
While standing amidst the crowd, a man in a light suit of clothes of no
positive color and with a complexion of the same sort, came up to me
and asked in German whether I had yet found a boarding-place. The man’s
smooth face instinctively repelled me, yet the feeling that I was not
independently established made me somewhat indefinite in my reply. On
seeing this, he at once grew talkative and friendly and speaking of the
necessity of finding a safe and comfortable home, said that he could
recommend me to a hotel where I would be treated honestly; or that, if
I chose to be in a private family, he knew of a very kind, motherly
lady who kept a boarding house for ladies alone, not to make money but
for the sake of her countrywomen.
The familiarity that he mingled in his conversation while trying to
be friendly made me thoroughly indignant. I turned my back upon him,
saying that I did not need his services.
It was not long before I saw him besieging my sister Anna, who had come
with Mr. G., being nervous lest I might not have found the ship. What
he said to her, I do not know. I only remember that she came to me,
saying, “I am afraid of that man; I wish that we could go home soon.”
This meeting with a man who makes friendly offers of service may seem
a small matter to the mere looker-on, but it ceases to be so when
one knows his motives. And since that time, I have had but too many
opportunities to see for what end these offers are made.
Many an educated girl comes from the Old World to find a position as
governess or teacher who is taken up in this manner and is never heard
from again or is found only in the most wretched condition. It is
shameful that the most effective arrangements should not be made for
the safety of these helpless beings who come to these shores with the
hope of finding a Canaan.
To talk with our friends about the future and the cause of my arrival
in New York became now a necessity. So I related how the information
of 1852, concerning a medical school for women, in Philadelphia, had
inspired me to offer my assistance as a practical instructor and to
assist in organizing a hospital.
My good friends not only showed dismay in face and manner as I
proceeded, but they expressed it in words, telling me that they
had never heard of any “female physicians” except those of a very
disreputable character who advertised in all newspapers and carried on
criminal practices.
Confronted with my ignorance of the English language, as I now realized
myself, I postponed starting for the medical school in Philadelphia,
and, having letters of introduction to well-stationed people in New
York, I decided to settle in a two-room home of my own as soon as this
could be found, we having concluded to commence housekeeping on a small
scale in order to be more independent and to save money.
The week was mostly spent in looking for apartments. On our arrival,
I had borrowed from my sister the hundred dollars which my father had
given her on our departure from Berlin and which was to be my capital
until I had established myself in business. I succeeded in finding
a suite of rooms with windows facing the street, in the house of a
grocer; and having put them in perfect order, we moved into them on
the sixth of June, paying eleven dollars as our rent for two months in
advance.
My sister took charge of our first day’s housekeeping, while I went
to deliver my letters of introduction. I went first to Dr. Reisig, in
Fourteenth Street. My mother, who had employed him when he was a young
man and we were small children, had spoken of him kindly, and for this
reason I had confidence in him. I found him a very friendly man, but by
no means a cordial one.
He informed me that female physicians in this country were of the
lowest rank and that they did not hold even the position of a good
nurse. He said that he wished to be of service to me if I were willing
to serve as nurse, and as he was just then in need of a good one, he
would recommend me for the position. I thanked him for his candor
and kindness, but refused his offer as I could not condescend to be
patronized in this way.
Depressed in hope but strengthened in will, I did not deliver any
more of my letters, since they were all to physicians and I could not
hope to be more successful in other quarters. I went home, therefore,
determined to commence practice as a stranger.
The result of my experiment discouraged my sister greatly. After
meditating for some time, she suddenly said, “Marie, I read in the
paper this morning of a dressmaker who wanted some one to sew for her.
I know how to sew well; I shall go there, and you can attend to our
little household. No one here knows me, and I do not think there is
anything wrong in my trying to earn some money.”
She was determined, and went. I put up my sign, and spent my time in
attending to the household duties and in reading in order to gain
information of the country and of the people. Occasionally I took walks
through different parts of the city to learn from the houses and their
surroundings the character of life in New York. I am sure that, though
perhaps I appeared idle, I was not so in reality, for during this time
I learned the philosophy of American life.
But our stock of money was becoming less and less. To furnish the rooms
had cost us comparatively little as we had brought a complete set of
household furniture with us, but paying the rent and completing the
arrangements had not left us more than enough to live upon, in the most
economical manner, until the first of August.
My sister obtained the place at the dressmaker’s; and after working
a week from seven in the morning until twelve (when she came home to
dinner), then from one in the afternoon until seven in the evening,
she received two dollars and seventy-five cents as the best sewer of
six. She brought home the hard-earned money with tears in her eyes, for
she had expected at least three dollars for the week’s work. She had
made each day a whole muslin dress, with the trimmings. And this was
not all--the dressmaker often did not pay on Saturday nights, because,
as she said, people did not pay her punctually, and the poor girls
received their wages by six or eight shillings at a time. For the last
two weeks of my sister’s work, she received her payment seven weeks
after she had left.
We lived in this manner until the middle of July, when I lost patience,
for practice did not come as readily as I wished nor was I in a
position for making money in any other way. My sister, usually so
cheerful and happy, grew grave from the unusual work and the close
confinement. One of these nights on lying down to sleep, she burst into
tears and told me of her doubts and fears for the future. I soothed her
as well as I could, and she fell asleep. For myself, I could not sleep
but lay awake all night meditating what I could possibly do. Should I
write home, requesting help from my father? He certainly would have
given it, for two weeks before we had received a letter offering us
all desirable aid. No! All my pride rebelled against it. “I must help
myself,” I thought, “and that to-morrow.”
The next morning my sister left me as usual. I went out and walked
through the city to Broadway, turning into Canal Street, where I had
formed an acquaintance with a very friendly German woman by purchasing
little articles at various times at her store. I entered without any
particular design and exchanged a few commonplaces with her about the
weather.
Her husband stood talking with a man about worsted goods, and their
conversation caught my ear. The merchant was complaining because
the manufacturer did not supply him fast enough, upon which the man
answered that it was very difficult to get good hands to work and that
besides he had more orders than it was possible to fill, naming several
merchants whose names I had seen in Broadway who were also complaining
because he did not supply them.
After he had left, I asked carelessly what kind of articles were in
demand and was shown a great variety of worsted fancy goods. A thought
entered my brain. I left the store and, walking down Broadway, asked
at one of the stores that had been mentioned for a certain article of
worsted goods in order to learn the price. Finding this enormous, I
did not buy it, and I returned home, calculating on my way how much it
would cost to manufacture these articles and how much profit could be
made in making them on a large scale. I found that two hundred per cent
profit might be made by going to work in the right way.
My sister came home as usual to dinner. I sat down with her, but could
not eat. She looked at me anxiously, and said, “I hope you are not sick
again. Oh, dear! What shall we do if you get sick?” I had been ill
for a week and she feared a relapse. I said nothing of my plan, but
consoled her in respect to my health.
As soon as she had left, I counted my money. But five dollars remained.
If I had been dependent upon money for cheerfulness, I should certainly
have been discouraged. I went to John Street and entering a large
worsted store, inquired of a cheerful-looking girl the wholesale price
of the best Berlin wool, how many colors could be had in a pound, etc.
The pleasant and ready answers that I received in my native tongue
induced me to tell her frankly that I wanted but a small quantity at
that time, that I intended to make an experiment in manufacturing
worsted articles; and if successful, I would like to open a small
credit, which she said they generally would do when security was given.
I purchased four and a half dollars’ worth of worsted, so that fifty
cents were left in my pocket when I quitted the store. I then went to
the office of a German newspaper, where I paid twenty-five cents for
advertising for girls who understood all kinds of knitting.
When my sister came home at night, the worsted was all sorted on the
table in parcels for the girls who would come the next morning, while I
was busily engaged in the experiment of making little worsted tassels.
I had never been skillful in knitting, but in this I succeeded so well
that I could have made a hundred yards of tassels in one day.
My sister turned pale on seeing all this, and hurriedly asked, “How
much money have you spent?” “All, my dear Anna,” answered I, “all,
except twenty-five cents, which will be sufficient to buy a pound of
beefsteak and potatoes for to-morrow’s dinner. Bread, tea and sugar, we
have still in the house; and to-morrow night you will bring home your
twenty-two shillings.” “May you succeed, Marie! That is all I have to
say,” was her reply. She learned of me that evening how to make the
tassels, and we worked till midnight, finishing a large number.
The next day was Saturday, and some women really came to get work. I
gave them just enough for one day, keeping one day’s work in reserve.
The day was spent busily in arranging matters, so that on Monday
morning, I might be able to carry a sample of the manufactured articles
to those stores that I had heard mentioned as not being sufficiently
supplied.
In the evening, my sister came home without her money--the dressmaker
had gone into the country in the afternoon without paying the girls.
She was more than sad, and I felt a little uncomfortable, for what was
I to do without money to provide for the next two days or to pay those
girls on Monday with whose work I might not be satisfied? What was to
be done? To go down to our landlord, the grocer, and ask him to advance
us a few dollars? No! He was a stranger and had no means of knowing
that we would return the money. Besides, I did not wish the people in
the house to know of our condition.
My resolution was taken. I proposed to my sister to go to the market
with me to buy meat and fruit for the morrow. She looked at me with
blank astonishment, but without heeding it I said calmly, taking from
the bureau drawer the chain of my watch, “Anna, opposite the market
there is a pawnbroker. No one knows us, and by giving a fictitious name
we can get money without thanking any one for it.” She was satisfied,
and taking a little basket, we went on our errand. I asked six dollars
of the pawnbroker under the name of Müller, and received the money,
after which we made our purchases and went home in quite good spirits.
On Monday morning, the knitters brought home their work. I paid them,
and gave them enough for another day, after which I set about finishing
each piece, completing the task about two in the afternoon. This done,
I carried the articles to Broadway, and leaving a sample in a number of
stores, received orders from them for several dozens. Here, I have to
remark that not being able to speak English, I conducted my business at
the different stores either in German or in French, as I easily found
some employees who could speak one of these languages.
I then went to the worsted store in John Street, where I also obtained
orders for the manufactured articles together with ten dollars’ worth
of worsted on credit, having first given my name and residence to the
bookkeeper, with the names of the stores from which I had received
orders.
In the evening when my sister came home, I was, therefore, safely
launched into a manufacturing business. The news cheered her greatly,
but she could not be induced to quit her sewing. The new business had
sprung up so rapidly and pleasantly that she could not trust in the
reality of its existence.