Our interest is solicited by W. J. T. in behalf of the Porch Golfer, who
burns up perfectos and works his elbow in a praiseworthy endeavor to
reduce the floating debt of his club. Should he not be subject to rules,
as is the regular golfer? As a starter, the following is suggested:
Rule I. “Keep your eye on the high-ball and swallow through.”
II.—Foursomes shall have precedence over twosomes. It costs no
more to make four high-balls than to make two, and the club
gets twice the revenue.
III.—When a player is carried out of bounds he shall not be
permitted to put another ball into play.
IV.—A golfer soleing his face on the table shall be
disqualified.
V.—A player holing his opponent’s ball shall be penalized one
round.
VI.—Should a player, when addressing his ball, roll off the
porch he may be replaced; penalty, one round.
VII.—In case of rain, snow, or darkness the player shall take
the same.