* * * * *
[Illustration: MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES
_Sangazur, Senior._ "Look here, what's all this nonsense I hear about
your wanting to marry an actress?"
_Sangazur, Junior._ "It's quite true, sir. But--er--you can have no
conception how _very poorly_ she acts!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A STUDIED INSULT.--_Box-Office Keeper at the Imperial
Music-Hall (to Farmer Murphy, who is in town for the Islington Horse
Show)._ "Box or two stalls, sir?" _Murphy._ "What the dev'l d'ye mane?
D'ye take me an' the missus for a pair o' proize 'osses? Oi'll have two
sates in the dhress circle, and let 'em be as dhressy as possible,
moind!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "THE SLEEPING BEAUTY."--"Nervous? oh dear no! I only
acted _once_ in private theatricals, Mr. Jones, and, although it was an
important part, I had nothing to say!" "Really? What _was_ the part?"
"_Can't you guess?_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: COLLABORATEURS.--Jennings and Bellamy, the famous
dramatists, planning one of those thrilling plays of plot and passion,
in which (as everybody knows) Jennings provides the inimitable broad
humour, and Bellamy the love-scenes and the tragic deaths. (Bellamy is
the shorter of the two.)]
* * * * *