Among other applications which were recently heard for exemption from
the new Compulsory Service Act for unmarried men we extract the
following:--
Mr. Isaac Goldstein claimed exemption for his clerk, a stalwart youth of
twenty-two, on the ground that he was indispensable to him in his
business.
Asked what his business was the applicant said he was a bookmaker.
_The Chairman._ I thought there was no racing now.
_Mr. Goldstein._ Oh, yes. Steeple-chasing every week.
_The Chairman._ Do people still go to races and bet?
_Mr. Goldstein._ Of course they do. Why not?
_The Chairman._ I fancied they might have found other things to do. Also
I fancied that money might be short.
The applicant said that there was plenty of money about if you knew
where to look for it.
_The Chairman._ And who ride the horses?
_Mr. Goldstein._ The jockeys, of course.
_The Chairman._ They prefer that to doing anything more serious for
their country?
_Mr. Goldstein._ They are doing something very serious for their
country. They're preserving the breed of horses. Where would old
England's horseflesh be without races and steeplechases?
_The Chairman._ You say this young man is indispensable to you. How?
_Mr. Goldstein._ He is my clerk. He writes down the bets. I haven't got
time to write down bets myself; I'm too busy taking them. He's one of
the quickest clerks in England. I should go broke if I hadn't got him.
Application refused.
Mr. Joe Tummilee applied for the exemption of a comedian playing in his
revue, "Never mind the War." This young man, he said, who was
twenty-nine, was the life and soul of the piece, and if he joined the
Army the applicant would be put both to inconvenience and loss.
_The Chairman._ Are there not older or married actors that you could
employ for this great work?
_Mr. Tummilee._ They're not so good. The comedian in question was a very
agile dancer and was also good-looking. Other men might not attract the
public.
_The Chairman._ Is the attraction of the public essential?
_Mr. Tummilee (surprised)._ Naturally. How should we managers live
otherwise? Besides, when a great war is going on it's a national duty to
try and make people forget. My theatre, you perhaps are not aware, is a
favourite resort for wounded soldiers, who are never so happy as when
they are there.
_The Chairman._ Surely all that happiness will not disappear because
this one performer is missing?
_Mr. Tummilee._ Most of it. He's the great draw.
_The Chairman._ Has it not occurred to you that the country ought to
come first?
_Mr. Tummilee._ I consider I'm doing a great deal for the country, and
he too, by making it laugh.
_The Chairman._ You must find an older funny man or soon we may all be
weeping.
Application refused.
Mr. Samuel Bland claimed exemption on the ground that he disapproved of
war and physical force.
_The Chairman._ What would you do if you caught a burglar in your house?
_Applicant._ I should lock him in and call for the police.
_The Chairman._ Then you don't mind relying on the physical force of
others for your own protection?
_Applicant._ That is part of the machinery of civilisation.
_The Chairman._ So, I fear, is an army. Do you pay your taxes?
_Applicant._ Yes.
_The Chairman._ Why?
_The Applicant._ Because there is Scriptural warrant for it.
_The Chairman._ But you know that a large part of them goes to maintain
our fighting men. Without money we should have to give in.
_Applicant._ I obey the law. I don't necessarily know where the money is
going.
_The Chairman._ Your position is very illogical. Either you should take
your part in defending your country or obey your conscience and either
go to prison for refusing to pay taxes for the carrying-on of the War,
or emigrate to some place more like Utopia than this is. As it is you
take advantage of other men's readiness to fight and even to die for
you, and actually pay them to do so, but raise conscientious objections
to doing either for yourself. A conscience that is so adaptable is not
worth considering.
Application refused.
Harry Cadgsmith, who said he was a picture-palace proprietor, applied
for exemption for the commissionaire who stood outside the building and
invited people in.
_The Chairman._ How old is he?
_Mr. Cadgsmith._ Thirty-four.
_The Chairman._ Is he strong?
_Mr. Cadgsmith._ Very. He is also highly trained; he wears uniform and
calls out the attractions. The cinema is one of the principal
alleviations of modern life and but for this man's powerful voice many
people might pass by and never enter.
_The Chairman._ What kind of pictures do you show?
_Mr. Cadgsmith._ The best.
_The Chairman._ Are they English?
_Mr. Cadgsmith._ Some are. But the public prefer American ones. I always
pride myself on giving the public what it has the sense to want.
_The Chairman._ Might it not be better employed elsewhere? Making
munitions, for example?
_Mr. Cadgsmith._ That is nothing to do with me. My business is to supply
a demand.
_The Chairman._ What is your chief film this week?
_Mr. Cadgsmith._ It is a very fine story entitled "The Prince of
Crooks."
_The Chairman._ Could not a woman take this man's place?
_Mr. Cadgsmith._ Not to do it justice.
Application refused.
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