ORIGIN OF KISSING; THE SCANDINAVIAN TRADITION; AN OLD
POET’S IDEA—KISSING IN ANCIENT ROME, AND AMONG THE
JEWS AND EARLY CHRISTIANS—BIBLICAL KISSING—RELIGIOUS
SIGNIFICANCE—KISSING IN EARLY ENGLAND—ANCIENT KISSING
CUSTOMS AS DESCRIBED BY ERASMUS—THE PURITANICAL VIEWS
OF JOHN BUNYAN—HOW ADAM KISSED EVE—A KISS DEFINED: BY
THE DICTIONARY, SHAKESPEARE, ROBERT HERRICK, SIDNEY,
COLERIDGE—COMICAL AND SHORT DESCRIPTIONS—A GRAMMAR OF
KISSING—THE SCIENTIFIC REASON WHY KISSES ARE PLEASANT.
Of kissing it has been quaintly said that nature was its author and it
began with the first courtship. The Scandinavian tradition was that
kissing was an exotic introduced into England by Rowena, the beautiful
daughter of Hengist, the Saxon. At a banquet given by the British
monarch in honor of his allies the princess, after pressing the brimming
beaker to her lips, saluted the astonished and delighted Vortigern with
a little kiss, after the manner of her own people.
For a long time it was an act of religion in ancient Rome and among the
Romans the sacredness of the kiss was inviolable. At length it was
degraded into a current form of salutation.
The kiss was, in process of time, used generally as a form of salutation
in Rome where men testified their regard and the warmth of their welcome
for each other chiefly by the number of their kisses. There was a
curious law among the Romans made by Constantine; that, if a man had
kissed his betrothed she gained thereby the half of his effects should
he die before the celebration of the marriage; and should the lady
herself die, under the same circumstances, her heirs or nearest to kin
would take the half due her, a kiss among the ancients being the sign of
plighted faith.
Among the Jews, kissing was a customary mode of salutation as we may
judge from the circumstance of Judas approaching his Master with a kiss.
The Rabbis did not permit more than three kinds of kisses, the kiss of
reverence, of reception and dismissal. Kissing in many religions has
played a part as a mark of adoration or veneration. In Hosea xiii-2,
speaking of idolatry, we find the sentence “Let the men that sacrifice
kiss the calves.” Again, the discontented prophet is told that even in
idolatrous Israel are seven thousand knees which have not bowed to Baal,
“and every mouth which hath not kissed him.” The Mohammedans, on their
pious pilgrimage to Mecca, kiss the sacred black stone and the four
corners of the Kaaba. The Roman Catholic priest kisses the aspergillum,
and Palm Sunday the palm.
In the works of St. Augustine we find an account of four kinds of
kissing; the first, the kiss of reconciliation which was given between
enemies wishing to become friends; the second, the kiss of peace which
Christians exchanged in church in the time of the celebration of the
holy eucharist. The third, the kiss of love which loving souls gave to
one another and to those whom they showed hospitality. St. Peter and St.
Paul used to finish their letters by saying, “salute one another with a
holy kiss.” In the early church kissing seems to have been a common form
of greeting, irrespective of age, sex, or social condition, and, in some
it seems to have created a jealous feeling.
One heathen writer speaks of how annoying it must be to a heathen
husband to see his wife exchanging kisses with the Christian brethren.
Origen, one of the early Christian writers, says that the kisses must be
“holy.” He may have had occasion to give this reminder for mention is
made by another writer of kisses so loud that they resounded through the
churches and occasioned foul suspicions and evil reports.
In the Bible there are eight kinds of kisses mentioned:
_Salutation._—David fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself
three times; and they [David and Jonathan] kissed one another, and wept
one with another, until David exceeded. I. Samuel xx, 41. Greet all the
brethren with a holy kiss. I. Thess. v, 26. Salute one another with a
holy kiss. Romans xvi, 16. See also Ex. xviii, 7; I. Cor. xvi, 20; I.
Pet. v, 14.
_Valediction._—The Lord grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in
the house of her husband [Naomi to her daughter-in-law.] Then she kissed
them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept. Ruth i, 9.
_Reconciliation._—So Joab came to the king, and told him; and when he
had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his
face to the ground before the king; and the king kissed Absalom. II.
Samuel xiv, 33.
_Subjection._—Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the
way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Psalm ii, 12.
_Adoration._—All the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every
mouth which hath not kissed him. I. Kings xix, 18. [See also Hosea xiii,
2.] And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet
with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his
feet, and anointed them with ointment. Luke vii, 38.
_Approbation._—Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer.
Prov. xxiv, 26.
_Treachery._—Now he that betrayed him gave them a sign, saying
Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he; hold him fast, and forthwith
he came to Jesus, and said, Hail, Master; and kissed him. Matt. xxvi,
48, 49. The kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Prov. xxvii, 6. [See also
Prov. vii, 13.]
_Affection._—When Laban heard the tidings of Jacob, his sister’s son, he
ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to
his house. Gen. xxix, 13. Moreover he [Joseph] kissed all his brethren,
and wept upon them. Gen. xlv, 15. And Joseph fell upon his father’s
face, and wept upon him, and kissed him. Gen. l, 1. [See also Gen. xxxi,
55; xxxiii, 4; xlviii, 10; Exod. iv, 27; Luke xv, 20; Acts xx, 37.]
Among the poets we will select Johannus Secundus (Johannes Everard) to
sing to the origin of kisses:
When young Ascanius, by Queen of Love,
Was wafted to Cythera’s lofty grove,
The slumbering boy upon a couch she laid,
A fragrant couch, of new-blown violets made,
The blissful bower with shadowing roses crowned,
And balmy-breathing airs diffused around.
Soon as she watched, through all her glowing soul,
Imprisoned thoughts of lost Adonis stole.
How oft, as memory hallowed all his charms,
She longed to clasp the sleeper in her arms!
How oft she laid admiring every grace,
“Such was Adonis! such his lovely face!”
But, fearing lest this fond excess of joy
Might break the slumber of the beauteous boy,
On every rose-bud that around him blowed,
A thousand nectared kisses she bestowed;
And straight each opening bud, which late was white,
Blushed a warm crimson to the astonished sight.
And the poet goes on to say that as Triptolemus gave a golden plenty to
the land:
Fair Cytherea, as she flew along,
O’er the vast lap of nature kisses flung;
Pleased from on high she viewed the enchanted ground,
And from her lips thrice fell a magic sound;
He gave to mortals corn on every plain,
But she those sweets which mitigate my pain.
In England during the reign of Edward IV., kissing was very popular; a
guest was expected on his arrival and also on his departure to salute
not only his hostess but all the ladies of the family. So well did this
novel importation thrive under the cloudy skies of England that from
being an occasional luxury it soon became an every-day enjoyment and the
English were celebrated far and near as a kissing people. In 1497 when
Erasmus was in England, according to his description, the practice was
at its height. He says “if you go to any place you are received with a
kiss by all; if you depart on a journey you are dismissed with a kiss;
you return, kisses are exchanged; they have come to visit you—a kiss the
first thing; they leave you—you kiss them all round. Do they meet you
anywhere?—kisses in abundance. Lastly wherever you move there is nothing
but kisses—and if you had but once tasted them! how soft they are! how
fragrant! on my honor you would not wish to reside here for ten years
only, but for life!”
John Bunyan, the author of the “Pilgrim’s Progress,” writing over a
hundred years later, did not view the practice with enthusiasm. He
wrote: “The common salutation of women I abhor; it is odious to me in
whomsoever I see it. When I have seen good men salute those women that
they have visited, or that have visited them, I have made my objections
against it; and when they have answered that it was but a piece of
civility, I have told them that it was not a comely sight. Some, indeed,
have urged the holy kiss; but then, I have asked them why they make
balks? why they did salute the most handsome and let the ill favored
ones go.”
In an old book called “The Ladies Dictionary,” speaking of kissing in
Scotland, the author says: “But kissing and drinking are now both grown
to a greater custom among us than in those days with the Romans.” And to
what extent kissing was carried on in Rome, Martial has stated in his
“Epigrams.” “Every neighbor,” he says, “every hairy-faced farmer presses
on you with a strongly scented kiss. Here the weaver assails you, there
the fuller and the cobbler, who has just been kissing leather; here the
owner of the filthy beard, and a one-eyed gentleman; there one with
bleared eyes, and fellows whose mouths are defiled with all manner of
abominations.”
In England the custom of universal kissing seems to have gone out about
the time of the Restoration. Its abandonment in England might have
formed part of that French code of politeness which Charles II
introduced on his return. Returning to our first thought as to the
origin of Kissing, we may use the very safe phrase that “its origin is
involved in mystery,” and agree with the poet that
When we dwell on the lips of the love we adore,
Not a pleasure in nature is missing
May that man lie in Heaven—he deserves it I’m sure
Who was first the inventor of kissing.
How Adam kissed Eve has been described in “Paradise Lost:”
—— he, in delight
Both of her beauty and submissive charms,
Smiled with superior love, as Jupiter
On Juno smiles, when he impregns the clouds
That shed May flowers: and pressed her matron lip
With kisses pure.
Though we may be unfortunate in tracing back the origin of this pleasing
custom, let us see if we have better luck in an attempt to answer the
question, “What is a kiss?”
First, we will go to the dictionary where we learn that a kiss, a smack,
or a buss, is “a salute made by touching with the lips pressed closely
together and suddenly parting them.”
Dr. Stormouth says that the word kiss seems to have had its origin in
the practice of feudal times of expressing homage to a superior by
kissing the hand, foot or some part of the body or, in his absence, some
object belonging to him, as a gate or a lock.
One poet calls kisses “the fragrant breath of summer flowers.” This is a
very happy conceit that is not always found to be true, for how fragrant
kisses are depends very much on the breath of the principals engaged.
Coleridge calls them “nectar breathing.” Shakespeare speaks of them as
“seals of love,” and Sidney tells us they tie souls together. An old
poet asks:
What is a kiss? alacke! at worst,
A single drop to quench a thirst,
Tho’ oft it proves in happier hour
The first sweet drop of one long shower.
Robert Herrick, the old English divine, says of a kiss:
It isn’t creature born and bred
Between the lips all cherry red;
It is an active flame that flies
First to the babies of the eyes;
Then to the cheek, the chin, the ear;
It frisks and flies—now here, now there;
’Tis now far off, and then ’tis near;
Here and there and everywhere.
Among short definitions we have that of the old Georgia farmer who
caught a young couple kissing on a train that was passing through a
tunnel, and called the act “dipping sugar.” A kiss is like a rumor,
because it goes from mouth to mouth; its shape is a lip-tickle; as a
grammatical part of speech it is a conjunction; kisses are the
interrogation points in the literature of love. Then again, kissing has
been called lip-service and has been defined as the prologue to sin;
more often, let us hope, it is simply a sweetmeat which satisfies the
hunger of the heart.
Martial, the old satirist, has called the kisses of his favorite “the
fragrance of balsam extracted from aromatic trees; the ripe odor yielded
by the teeming saffron; the perfume of fruits mellowing in their winter
repository; the flowery meadows in the vernal season; amber warmed by
the hand of a maiden; a garden that attracts the bees.”
Kisses have been called the balm of love; Cupid’s seal; the lover’s fee;
the fee of parting; the first and last of joys; the homage of the life;
the hostage of promise; love’s chief sign; love’s language; love’s
mintage; love’s print; love’s tribute; love’s rhetoric; the nectar of
Venus; the pledge of bliss and love; the seal of bliss; the melting sip,
and the stamp of love.
Johannas Secundus says to his sweetheart:
’Tis not a kiss you give, my love!
’Tis richest nectar from above!
A fragrant shower of balmy dews,
Which thy sweet lips alone diffuse!
’Tis every aromatic breeze,
That wafts from Africa’s spicy trees;
’Tis honey from the osier hive,
Which chymist bees with care derive
From all the newly opened flowers
That bloom in Cecrop’s roseate bowers,
Or from the breathing sweets that grow
On famed Hymettus’ thymy brow.
Kisses, according to Sam Slick, are like creation, because they are made
out of nothing and are very good. Another wag says they are like
sermons, they require two heads and an application.
An ingenious American grammarian thus conjugates the verb: Buss, to
kiss; rebus, to kiss again; pluribus, to kiss without regard to number;
sillybus, to kiss the hand instead of the lips; blunderbus, to kiss the
wrong person; omnibus, to kiss every person in the room; erebus, to kiss
in the dark.
Robert Burns thus speaks of it:
Honeyed seal of soft affections,
Tenderest pledge of future bliss
Dearest tie of young connections.
Love’s first snowdrop, virgin bliss.
But kissing baffles all attempts at analysis; as Josh Billings says “the
more a man tries to analize a kiss, the more he can’t; the best way to
define a kiss is to take one.” Kisses are commodities costing nothing,
never wearing out, and always to be had in abundance. After all, why are
kisses pleasant? A scientist says that kissing is pleasant because the
teeth, jawbones and lips are full of nerves, and when the lips meet an
electric current is generated.
Oh that a joy so soon should waste!
Or so sweet a bliss as a kiss
Might not forever last!
So sugared, so melting, so soft, so delicious.
The dew that lies on roses,
When the morn herself discloses,
Is not so precious.
Oh, rather than I would it smother,
Were I to taste such another.
It should be my wishing
That I might die kissing.
The late George D. Prentice said he had a female correspondent who wrote
“when two hearts are surcharged with love’s electricity, a kiss is the
burning contract, the wild leaping flames of love’s enthusiasm.” The
humorist observed that the idea was very pretty, “but a flash of
electricity is altogether too brief to give a correct idea of a truly
delicious kiss.” We agree with Byron that the strength of a kiss is
generally measured by its length. Still, there should be a limit, and we
really think that Mrs. Browning, strong-minded woman as she is,
transcends all reasonable limits in her notions of a kiss’s duration. In
her ‘Aurora Leigh’ she talks of a kiss
‘As long and silent as the ecstatic night.’
That, indeed, must be ‘linked sweetness’ altogether too long drawn out.