used; but in one Sex, ’till four, five, or six, Years old; and in the
other for Life. The Solicitude of Parents about Shape, is chiefly
confin’d to the Girls; Boys, when breech’d, like Eels, twist themselves
into a thousand Forms, and prove strait at last; while the Girls, with
less Freedom and more Anxiety, seldom come off so well. Still Mothers
contend for the Necessity of Stays; and maintain from Experience, that
the Shape, instead of being hurt with them, is spoil’d without them. Here
then is the grand Point, whether Nature requires these Props or not;
the Learned say they don’t; general Practice says they do: the Learned
recommend that Nature be left to Fashion the Parts herself; but general
Practice contradicts this: and who will take upon them to decide so
important a Matter? for me, I confess it is too much.
When I read or hear the Opinion of skilful Men, and weigh their
Reasoning, I heartily concur with them; and when I see an exquisite
Shape under a judicious Mother’s Management, I am inclin’d to applaud her
Judgment, and commend the Choice of her Stay-maker. However, that I might
not leave this Head and determine nothing, I have already recommended
to Parents to exercise their own Judgment, and to seek that of others;
whereby many of the Errors, become general thro’ Ignorance and Time, will
be removed. The Learned, unless dogmatical, will be brought to allow,
that Stays may often be worn without the least Injury; that as Girls are
by Nature more tender and delicate than Boys, many of them would have
been deformed either thro’ bad nursing, or some inbred Infirmity, tho’
they never had worn a Stay in their Lives: and Parents will be convinc’d,
that while Nature is labouring to compleat their Children’s Growth, both
Health and Beauty greatly depend on their not being braced injudiciously.
As I am speaking of Health and Beauty, it will not be improper to
observe, that with regard to the outward Form, what is most agreeable
to see, is often most conducive to Health and Strength. Thus the
Dancing-master has Power to confer many Advantages on his Scholars.
That Command and free Play of the Joints of the Knees, with the Habit
of keeping them unbent but when necessary, and the proper turning out
of the Toes, add great Firmness and Grace both to standing and walking:
that graceful Power of the Arms, the easy Fall, and the dropping of the
Shoulders from the Neck, gives a pleasing Distinction of the bred from
the unbred: and the keeping the Body upright, and throwing forward the
Chest, are besides being great Beauties, vastly conducive to the free
Exercise of the Lungs, and to the proper Action of the whole _Viscera_.
But while this Part of Education is justly commended as conducive to
Health, and pleasing to behold, what shall we say of those, who under the
Appearance of increasing their Beauty destroy it; and who, while aiming
at Health, often deprive themselves of Life. I have shewn that bodily
Defects are more or less the Lot of all Mankind; but where Judgment free
from Error can rectify them, we have Power to do it. If we can find a
Cure for Diseases born with us, we certainly may and ought; if we can
increase our Strength, and add Graces to Nature, we undoubtedly should;
we may curl our Hair, increase its Growth, or cut it off; we may and
ought to comb or shave our Head, pare our Nails, and scour off all
that Foulness which Nature throws out upon the Surface of our Body, and
maintain a constant Cleanliness: But all this does not imply that we may
give ourselves a new Face; and yet little less is frequently attempted.
When Nature is oppressed within us, she often, for our Relief, throws
out the Malady upon the Skin; if it happen to be on the Face, we grow
restless and impatient; we are ignorant of the Kindness done to us;
and to remove the Blemish to our Beauty, we unadvisedly drive back the
redundant Humour; perhaps on our Vitals; and thus fall a Sacrifice to our
Pride or Ignorance.
There is a Practice, particularly among the Great, shocking to Nature
and to Reflection; that of using Paint. Paint is to the Face, what
Affectation is to the Mind: as the one is a ridiculous Mimic of amiable
Qualities we are Strangers to, so the other is a ridiculous Affectation
of Beauty we cannot reach. But while Paint disappoints those who are
attach’d to it, by conferring false Beauty, it is attended with the
Mischief of impairing real; and many who by Nature alone would be comely
in the Decline of Life, are, by this odious Practice, hagged even in
Youth. Temperance, Exercise, good Hours, and a chearful Mind, will
best preserve the Bloom of Life; but such is the present Age, such the
prevailing false Taste, that Error is confounded with Error, and our
corrupt Judgment is still farther corrupted. There was a Time that Paint
was designed to give a false Bloom when the real was declining; but now
it is used to hide even the natural Bloom: it is made an Instrument to
destroy that Beauty which Providence has bestowed; and instead of being
grateful for the Blessing, it is shamefully hid under a pale Enamel, or a
dead White! What an Indignity, what an Affront is this to the Author of
all Nature, to the Bestower of all Blessings!
Lord _Hallifax_, in his Advice to a Daughter, goes so far as to dissuade
her even from the Use of Sweets. “Those Ladies (says he) who perfume
themselves, will be strongly suspected of doing it to conceal some other
Stink.” Cleanliness is to be preferred to every foreign Aid; for tho’
it is certain, that Nature throws off some offensive Matter, whether
perceptible or not, by the several Organs given for those Purposes, yet
daily washing the Mouth, combing the Head, and using every other Means
of Cleanliness, bids much fairer for rendering us inoffensive to others,
than the general and immoderate Use of Perfumes. And therefore I cannot
but concur with this noble Writer, in dissuading Parents from introducing
among their Children the Custom of seeking foreign Assistance in order to
be sweet. Should I add to this, that continually striking on those Nerves
which convey the Sense of Smelling to us, is prejudicial to our Health, I
should advance no more than what many learned Men hold as a Truth.
But there is another Pretext for using Sweets, which must not pass
unobserved; that of keeping us from being sensible of the various Smells
around us. It is true that those are sometimes so grossly offensive,
as to justify, and even demand, our shutting them out: but in general,
there is too much false Delicacy, too strong a Tincture of Pride, and
too little Sense of our own Infirmities in this Practice. On these last
Heads then I must beg Leave to admonish Parents, even of the highest
Rank (should this little Work ever fall into their Hands) to be greatly
circumspect with regard to their Children; that they be careful to give
them a due Sense of the Blessings Nature has bestowed on them; that they
point out to them the most rational Way of correcting natural Defects;
and above all, to imprint on them a just Detestation of every Practice
which has a Tendency to raise their Vanity, and add Fuel to their Pride.
To this end, Parents should convince their Children, that the fashionable
Cosmetics greatly endanger Health; Paint debases both the Face and the
Mind; the wanton Use of Perfumes is an Error in Principle, and all are
fraught with mischievous Effects.
It may be urged, that Children are not subject to the Use of these
things, at least while Children: I grant it. But my Readers must observe,
that when I enter on a Topic, I am naturally led thro’ it; and as we
never stand still in Life, so Parents must bring their Ideas forward,
and consider their Children as always advancing. Nay I may without
Impropriety say farther, that Vanity is one of the first things that
Children learn; and it demands the early Attention of Parents to keep it
under, by discountenancing the Practice of every thing which tends to
support or cherish it.
Parents are naturally anxious to have this first Entrance on the Stage of
Life got thro’ with Success; and I flatter myself, that the Rules already
laid down will conquer, or at least lessen the Difficulty attending it.
How eager are all good Parents to see their Children weaned; to have them
firm on their Feet; to find their Mouths full of Teeth; and to hear
them prattle: nay there are many, particularly Fathers, who think their
Children of no Importance, at least they have no Pleasure in them, ’till
these are effected. That nothing therefore may obstruct this Progress, I
will here add a Word or two more.
It is a Point much disputed, whether a young Child is better or worse for
wearing Shoes and Stockings; for my own Part, I think they are both: but,
as this may seem a Paradox, I will explain myself. The Disuse of Shoes
and Stockings is to make Children hardy; but my Readers will remember,
that unless Regard be had to Time and Season, they may cramp their tender
Limbs, and do them great Harm. Stockings therefore cannot with Prudence
be totally neglected, lest it prove a Neglect to the Child; and Shoes,
when they are put on it’s Feet, are, besides being not so disagreeable
to see, much safer to walk about in; as nobody can answer that Pins,
Splinters, Stones, and various other things will not sometimes fall in
their Way, even on the smoothest Floor, or a Carpet. Thus much in their
Favour: but what I have to say against them is not less significant.
According to the usual Method of managing Children, they wear no Cloth
in the Day-time after five or six Months old; and then, if they are not
carefully watched, they will frequently wet themselves, and thereby make
Shoes and Stockings an Impediment to their thriving, by soaking them, as
it were, in Wet, Cold, and Nastiness. Either then let a Child be kept
clean with them, or intirely go without them; for of two Evils, it is
always most eligible to chuse the least.
But a little Judgment and Attention would obviate this Inconvenience;
for as even Infants are not without various Ways of shewing their Wants,
an Attention to these, and a Method of putting them regularly into
their Chair, would be very convenient both to Mother and Child: and if
notwithstanding this, it should by chance wet itself, having dry Shoes
and Stockings always ready to put on, would prevent any ill Effect.
I am of Opinion, that Parents are often too eager to have their Children
walk; by which, they take such Means as serve to retard it. Two things
much in use manifestly keep Children back, viz. much sitting, especially
with their Cloaths up, and much standing. They should never sit long in
their Chair, nor be left to support the Weight of their Bodies, while
their Joints and Limbs are tender. Let them by all means feel that they
have Feet, but let them not be left alone, ’till Time, Air, and Exercise
have strengthened their Solids, and given them a lasting Firmness.
But we will now suppose that these first Difficulties are all surmounted.
Parents have still many things to do, which require indeed Attention, but
neither need, nor ought to be accompanied with any considerable Degree of
Difficulty or Pain.
Notwithstanding a Child is advancing, I still recommend, that Milk and
Water with Bread, or Milk-porridge, or Rice-milk, be it’s constant
Breakfast. Parents may sometimes alter their Course, may easily contrive
little Changes in a Child’s Diet, that will be very pleasing, without
either seeming to humour it, or varying it so sensibly, as to hurt the
Quality. For Example, in Summer, pour warm Water on Milk to take off its
Rawness, and let the Child with a Piece of Bread bite and sup: in Winter
let it have Milk-porridge, or Rice-milk. Milk is accounted to lose of its
natural Sweetness by boiling; therefore in general it should be avoided.
But there is another Principle Parents are to act by, viz. a Child’s
Habit of Body. Nothing is more certain than that our Food may be made
our Physic; and if our Judgment went Hand in Hand with Nature, we should
happily escape many bodily Infirmities, many grievous Evils: for it would
then be easy to see when she is regular, when not; whether she wants a
Curb or a Spur; whether she is robust or delicate; or, in fine, whether
she has any Bias, and where. To familiarize this, let me observe, that
where a Child is hot, dry, and costive, Parents should sometimes desist
from the Use of Milk, and give it Water-gruel, either with or without
Currants; or very small Broth, or Milk-porridge, which last is rendered
opening by the Oat-meal. So likewise, where the Bowels are weak, and
there is an habitual purging, the Child should be kept more closely
to Milk; have Rice-milk, Rice-gruel, or Broth thickened with Rice; or
thick Milk, or hasty Pudding made with Milk and Flour. Of one or other
of these things, as Occasion serves, a Child may properly breakfast as
long as the Guidance of Parents will be necessary: and when it is no
longer a Child, but comes to act for itself, it will not be easy to find
more wholesome Food. Tea, Coffee, and Chocolate are the most usual
Breakfasts in lieu of these. Tea has been spoken of already. Coffee is
hot and dry; it is rather fit for a Medicine than a Meal, and should be
used with Judgment; it is manifestly a Cephalic, and sometimes removes a
Head-ach instantaneously as if it were by Magic; but intemperately used,
it is very apt to sink the Spirits, and bring on Tremblings. Chocolate
has a nutritious, balsamic Quality, yet it disagrees with many People;
it does not sit easy on every Stomach; either from the natural Property
of the Nuts, or from its being made too thick, and sometimes drank with
Milk, which renders it still heavier. But, generally speaking, Tea is the
Breakfast for Children, which is often made worse, by being accompanied
with hot Bread. I have seen a Mother so cruelly kind, for so with Truth
we may call it, as to give a young Child all the Crum of a hot Roll for
its Breakfast; and this repeated every Day, till it had lost not only
it’s Appetite, but almost it’s Breath.
There is nothing Parents should more promote in their Children than the
Love of Bread; they should be taught to eat a great deal of it with their
Meat; be taught to eat it sometimes alone; but not be suffered to eat it
quite new: for the Custom of cramming Children with hot Bread, is one of
the Ways that make them unhealthy, without Parents being aware of it.
Butter is allowed to yield great Nourishment, but there are Objections
which Parents must not disregard. It often rises in the Stomach, is apt
to give that Pain which People call the Heart-burn, and is judged to be
frequently the Occasion of Childrens breaking out, by obstructing some
of the Glands. Butter therefore should be eat much more sparingly than
usual, and great Care should be taken that it is never rancid.
Cheese is a kind of Food which Children are naturally very fond of;
and, if left to themselves, will eat it to an immoderate Degree. I have
observed before, that little Changes in a Child’s Diet are at times very
right; particularly to prevent any Dislike to certain things, either from
Disuse or Affectation; but when Cheese comes in turn to be the Meal, it
should be under great Restraint. Suppose, for Example, a Child’s Supper
is to be Bread and Cheese, the Bread should most certainly be considered
as the Meal; a very small Quantity of Cheese to give it a Relish, and
convey it down, is all it ought to have. Cheese, tho’ nutritious, should
never be eat in large Quantity; it gives Children a restless painful
Fondness for what is relishing, and takes off their Appetite from more
wholesome simple Diet; it is found to disagree with many Stomachs;
toasted, it is particularly bad, and difficult to digest; and it has
often a Pungency, which creates Heat, Thirst, and Costiveness.
Flesh Meat has already been touched upon; I will here add, that besides
the Parents Care that Children do not begin too soon with it, nor eat it
intemperately, they must pay a due Regard not only to the Quality of the
Meat they give them, but to the Time and Manner of eating it.
Physicians are of Opinion, that Animal-food is not in Perfection ’till
full grown; for, like unripe Fruit, their Juices are crude, and always
more or less improper to mix with our Blood, ’till they are in a State
of Maturity: hence it appears, that Beef and Mutton are more wholesome
than Veal and Lamb. Nor should Beef, as the Fibres of it are very
strong, be eat too freely by those whose Digestion is weak; and when
rendered harder by lying long in Brine, it is still more improper.
Pork, tho’ a favourite kind of Food, is in several Respects improper to
be eat frequently; it is extremely apt to offend the Stomach; it has a
remarkable Tendency to bring on Purgings; and it is suspected not to form
so pure a Chyle, and to be more disposed to load the Blood with those
Particles which create scorbutic Disorders than any other Meat. Upon the
whole, no Meat is so universally suited to our Nature as Mutton. For
after all our Labour and Expence to obtain greater Rarities, after we
have fatigued ourselves with Sport, hunted down defenceless Creatures,
brought to the Ground the most wary Birds, and cloyed ourselves with the
choicest Viands, we find perhaps a truer Relish, and a better Appetite
for a Mutton-chop. So Topers, after spending the Night in search of the
richest Wine, after rioting in Excess, and wearying the Tavern-waiters to
please their Palates, seek Comfort and Refreshment in a Glass of Water.
Fish is a sort of Diet extremely improper for Children. I would recommend
to Parents never to let a Child so much as taste it for the first seven
Years at least. If it were nothing more than the Danger of Bones
sticking in it’s Throat, it is enough to alarm prudent People; but most
kinds of Fish are naturally flabby, cold, and watry; are very unfit for
young Stomachs, and usually made more so, by being accompanied with rich
Sauce.
Children should not be debarred Fruit; but the Use of it requires some
Attention; 1st, It should always be good in its Kind, and ripe. 2dly,
Regard is to be had what Sort agrees, and what disagrees. 3dly, Some
Limitation as to Quantity. It is a disputed Point whether we may eat
Fruit in a Morning; other Nations do frequently, we seldom. In _France_,
_Germany_, _Switzerland_, and many other Places, the People always eat
Bread with their Fruit; and it appears so rational that I believe it
were better that we did too. Fruit gives some a Pain at the Stomach,
others not; Apples, Currants, and those Kinds, which, tho’ ripe, have
still a Degree of grateful Acidity in them, usually agree best. Pears
and Plumbs, especially the _Orleans_ Plumb, have a Tendency to bring
on Purgings, which sometimes terminate in a Bloody Flux and Death; and
therefore should be given to Children with great Caution: but, in fine,
Experience here, as in many other things, is to be our Guide. One general
Rule I would recommend, which is, that the Skin or Rind of all Fruit
that is in any manner tough, be not eat. It is the Pulp and juicy Part
of the Fruit which refreshes us; and Nature, to preserve these, has
wrapped them up in a tough kind of Coat, which is judged by many to be
very unfit to take into the Stomach. I must not omit to speak of Nuts. I
observed before, that merely from the Danger of Bones Children should be
kept from Fish; so, had Nuts no other Effect than loosening the Teeth by
frequent cracking them, which they do manifestly, they should never be
meddled with; but in Fact they have. I have seen People eat Walnuts ’till
they could scarcely breathe; the famous _Barcelona_ Nuts, besides the
Substance or fibrous Part of them, often abound with a rank kind of Oil;
and even our own Hazel Nuts and Filberds, when eaten in any Quantity, are
apt to create Thirst, cord up, as it were, the whole Chest, and produce
Coughs.
Self-gratification on one hand, and Self-interest on the other, have
introduced several Trades the World in general might dispense with;
two of which demand my Observation, viz. the Confectioner and the
Pastry-cook. That these Trades have their Use I do not deny. A Nobleman,
according to the Rules of Politeness, cannot make an Entertainment
without a Desert; thus the Confectioner becomes necessary: in inferior
Life, the Coarseness of the Entertainment is taken off by the Assistance
of the Pastry-cook: all which may be reasonable, if reasonably used. But
when I consider the general Misapplication of these luscious Dainties to
Children, I cannot but condemn it.
If a Child is sent to visit a Relation or Friend, the grand Compliment
is, to apply to the Confectioner or the Pastry-cook; and ’till the little
Visitor be crammed with Biskets, or Cakes, or Tarts, or Sweetmeats, or
all in their Turn, and that even to a Surfeit, the welcome is not thought
compleat. Still there is some Excuse to palliate this Mistake; the Child
is considered as a Visitor; and these Excesses are the mistaken Effects
of Good-Nature and Respect; both which are apt grievously to err against
Judgment. But my Principals here are the Parents; for from them alone
must come the Habit of doing right, and by them alone must the Error be
prevented or corrected.
I have no Objection to a Child’s having a Tart or Bisket by Chance,
but I am a profess’d Enemy to the daily Abuses committed with them.
If we view the Loads of Wigs, Tarts, and Cakes, every Day made at the
Pastry-cooks, we must be astonished at their Consumption. The Truth is,
People give these Things to their Children ’till they have made them
sick, and then give them because they are sick. If a Person happens to
call on a Friend where there is a Child indisposed, it is ten to one but
they find a Tart in it’s Hands; Ah! poor thing, says Mamma, it has eat
nothing to-day, so I sent for a Tart for it. That the Hands, the Face,
the Apparel and Bedding of Children, imprudently indulg’d with this kind
of Food, be constantly daub’d and besmear’d, is the least bad Consequence
attending such Indiscretion; it has several other Effects, particularly
on their Health; by vitiating their Appetites, engendering Crudities, and
alienating them from more wholesome Diet.
But let us go lower into Common Life; and view the various Outlets from
_London_. What Swarms, what Multitudes of Children are there not in
the Fields on every fine Sunday! And what is their Entertainment? Why,
generally speaking, they are stuffed with a coarse kind of Pastry-ware
made coarse on purpose for Children, who of all the human Species ought
not to touch it: then to compleat the Mischief, they are to wash it down
with a foul, nauseous, heady kind of Ale, or other Malt Liquor. Yet when
one opposes this Practice, as every one must with Hand and Heart, who
has but a Head to guide them; Poor Things! cry the mistaken Parents,
what! take Children into the Fields, and not give them a Bun! But how
grievously does their dotard Fondness mislead them! Good Bread, with a
very little Sweet Butter, wash’d down with Water, or clear well-brew’d
Small Beer, would preserve their Health; while the only use of this
Trash, is to impair or destroy it.
To reduce to Method what has been here said concerning Diet, I must
observe, that next to the proper kind of Food, nothing is more conducive
to Health than a Habit of eating Meals regularly. Children accustomed
to eat all Day long are seldom healthy; besides, that it makes them
disorderly, and often throws a Family into Confusion to gratify all their
little Humours. The proper Breakfast has been already pointed out; their
Dinner should be made of one Dish, only, unless by great Chance a passing
Taste of a second; they should either eat a great deal of Bread, or
blend their Meat with Greens, Turnips, or other Garden Stuff; Pickles
and all high Sauces should not be touch’d by them; and their Meal should
be washed down with Water or light Small Beer. Their Supper may, like
their Breakfast, sometimes be vary’d, as to the Auxiliary; Bread is to
be the Repast; yet a small Portion of Butter, Cheese, Fruit, or Tart,
may in their Turn accompany it: the Vehicle the same as at Dinner. But
should a Child at intermediate Times, especially before Dinner, complain
of Hunger, and fasting long might make it’s Stomach ach; in that Case
nothing so good as a bit of Bread; and if used to it, it will eat it as
eagerly as the greatest Dainty; but to see Children walk about a House
with Tarts or Bread and Butter in their Hands, daubing every thing and
every body they touch, is certainly wrong; being not only detrimental to
their Health, but to their Manners too, as it is inexpressibly vulgar.