WE GO SOUTH
When we started that crazy game we were near the landing. Maybe it would
have been better if we had jumped into the Hudson. But instead of that I
started marching up toward the railroad station with all the fellows
after me, singing that song.
I went leap frog over a barrel and the rest of them did the same,
singing, _Follow your leader wherever he goes_. All the while Pee-wee
stuck on the top of the barrel because his legs were so short, but as
long as he was the last one it didn’t make any difference.
“Take a demerit,” I shouted back at him. “What do you think you are? A
statue?”
“He looks like a barrel buoy,” Garry shouted.
“Don’t look back, keep singing,” Hervey called to Garry. “Never mind
what’s behind you.”
“Sure, think of the future,” Warde said. “And follow your leader
wherever he goes.
Wherever he goes,
Wherever he goes,
Wherever he goes.”
I went waltzing into a candy store, and picked up a five cent chocolate
bar and laid down a nickel and kept going in and out around the ice
cream tables. All the people in there started laughing. One girl spilled
a glass of root beer that she was drinking. All of us fellows had small
change, we never have any large change, so nothing happened to block the
parade.
Out I went again with all of them after me, holding the chocolate bar in
my mouth. I took one bite of it and threw it in the trash can. I heard
Hervey do the same, then Bert, and I knew Garry and Warde could be
trusted.
“Keep your eye on Pee-wee,” I said.
“A scout isn’t supposed to waste anything,” the kid shouted, his mouth
full of chocolate.
“None of that,” I shouted back. “How many bites did you take? Throw it
away!”
“I took—I took one bite—in two sections,” the kid said.
“Come on,” I shouted.
Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,
Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows;
Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,
But follow your leader wherever he goes!
wherever he goes,
wherever he goes——
“Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose,” Warde said.
I kept going round and round a baby carriage till we were all dizzy and
even the baby began to laugh. Then I went staggering in and out and over
a lot of trunks at the station, and crawled under an express wagon and
hopped on one leg along the platform. Everybody was screaming at us. We
were shouting those verses good and loud.
There was an accommodation train standing at the station so we couldn’t
get across the tracks. Gee whiz, I don’t call that very accommodating. I
climbed up into the first car and started going back through the train,
all the fellows after me, singing those crazy verses like a lot of wild
Indians. The people in the cars stared at us. I dropped a cent in the
slot and got a paper drinking cup and took a drink of water and then
started carrying the cup full of water through the train. Along they
came after me carrying cups of water.
All of a sudden, _kerflop_, the water spilled out on my face. That was
because the train had started. I guess it happened to the rest of them
because the people in the seats began to howl.
“Never laugh at another’s misfortune,” I said. “You may get your own
faces washed some day.”
“Hurry up,” Garry shouted.
“What’s the difference?” Hervey said.
Somebody shouted, “The next stop is Alsen.”
“I hope it’s a good stop, we’ve had a good start, anyway,” Bert said.
We might have got out at the end of the car, only it was a vestibule car
and all closed up.
“Now you see what you did,” Pee-wee shouted.
I said, “Don’t you care, you don’t have to get home for four years. We
ought to reach Alsen in about a year and a half.”
“Hurry through to the next platform,” Garry said.
I sprinted through the next car and there was an open platform there but
by that time the train was moving too fast for us to get off. Safety
first, that’s our motto. Crazy but safe.
So then we had a meeting of the board of directors on the platform of
that car till a brakeman made us go inside.
I said, “The plot grows thicker.”
“You’re a fine kind of a leader,” Pee-wee said, very contemptible like,
I mean contemptuous. “What are we going to do now?”
“Be thankful I didn’t lead you onto an airship,” I said; “we’re going to
Alsen, it’s a very nice place, houses and everything. Follow your leader
wherever he goes.”
“We’re supposed to be headed for camp,” the kid said.
“We’re on our way there,” I told him. “We’re going west in a southerly
direction.”
“Alsen is only about three miles,” Bert said.
“How do we know the engineer will see it when he gets there?” Garry
wanted to know.
“Maybe he has a magnifying glass,” I said. “I hope there are some things
in Alsen.”
“What kind of things?” Pee-wee wanted to know.
“Things to do,” I told him.
“Where are we going to end?” he shouted.
“We’re not going to end,” I said.
“Temple Camp is west from here,” he yelled at me, because the train was
making a lot of noise.
“Do you blame me for that?” I asked him. “I didn’t invent the compass,
did I? If you’re not satisfied with where Temple Camp is you’d better
complain to Mr. Temple, he put it there.”
“Oh, look at the big, high tree!” Hervey shouted. “Let’s climb up that
on our way back.”
“Sure,” I said, “and jump off the top. You’d be going leap frog over the
Woolworth Building if you were leader. Be thankful you’ve got a
conservative leader.”
“A what?” the kid yelled. Just then he went backward off the arm of the
seat plunk into a man’s lap.
“Tickets,” the conductor shouted.
I said, “Hey, mister, we’re on a funny-bone hike, and the train started
before we had a chance to get off. We have to go to Alsen. Do you know
if we can get ice cream cones there?”
He just laughed and said he’d have to collect our fares. It only costs
ten cents from Catskill to Alsen.
I said to the fellows, “Well, so long as the engineer’s going to be our
leader for a little while I’ll take a vacation.”
So I sat down and began looking out of the window.