CHAPTER II

WE START BACK

The scout that was to blame for the whole thing was Hervey Willetts.

Believe me, that fellow ought to be kept in a cage. He belongs to a

patrol named the Reindeers but he ought to belong to the tomcats because

half the time nobody knows where he is.

His scoutmaster says he wanders over the face of the earth but, believe

me, he wanders across the head of the earth and down the neck of the

earth; the face isn’t big enough for him. The scouts at camp call him

the wandering minstrel because he goes all over and he’s all the time

singing. It was just a streak of luck that we happened to have him with

us that day. He wears a funny little hat without any brim and with holes

cut in it so his thoughts can get out because they make him top-heavy

when he’s climbing trees.

We were just starting to hike back from Catskill Landing when he said,

“Come on, let’s make it snappy.”

“What do you mean, make it snappy?” I asked him.

“Let’s put some ginger in it,” he said.

“He means gingersnaps,” Pee-wee shouted; “let’s buy some.”

“A voice from the Animal Cracker Patrol,” Warde Hollister said; “here’s

a couple of fish-hooks, and a package of tacks, eat those.”

“Put some ginger in what?” I asked Hervey. “I’d just as soon fill it up

with ginger, only what?”

“The hike back,” he said. “Let’s start something.”

Already that fellow was suffering from remorse because he had sat

quietly for half an hour or so in the bus.

I said, “If I knew of volcanoes or wild animals on the way back I’d lead

you to them, but the only wild animal I know of around here is the

mascot of the animal patrol.”

“Let’s play Follow Your Leader,” Hervey said.

“Not while we’re conscious,” Garry Everson spoke up; “not if you’re

going to be the leader. I have to be home by Christmas.”

Bert Winton said, “I’m sorry, but school opens in a few weeks. Nothing

doing.”

“I’ll follow you!” our little Animal Cracker shouted; “I don’t have to

be home Christmas. I don’t have to be home till my birthday and that

doesn’t come for four years because I was born in leap year.”

“Now we know why you’re so slow growing up,” Warde said.

“You’re a lot of tin horn sports!” Pee-wee shouted.

“I’m game,” I said. “I’ll die for the cause if anybody else will.”

Hervey said, “Listen.” Then he said, kind of sing-songy, so it made me

want to walk:

Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,

Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;

Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,

But follow your leader wherever he goes.

Oh, boy, that started us off. We were like horses when they hear a brass

band. Hervey gave me a shove and said, “Go ahead, start off, you’re the

only patrol leader here, it’s up to you.”

“It’s your game,” I said.

“Go ahead, lead,” he began laughing, “and let’s keep it up till we get

to Temple Camp. It’s no fun if you flunk.”

That was just like him, he didn’t care who led as long as he was moving.

That fellow goes off in the woods a lot by himself and he doesn’t care

anything about merit badges himself. He’s a funny kind of a scout but

he’s awful generous. He can’t keep still, that’s one thing about him.

Most scouts are always trying for things but all he cares about is

action—he eats it alive.

So the first thing I knew I was marching along with the other fellows

behind me and they were all singing those verses and kind of marching in

step to them. Gee whiz, we couldn’t get those verses out of our heads.

It was awfully funny to hear Pee-wee shouting them. Even now it seems as

if I have to write them down and I guess there’ll have to be an

operation to get them out of my mind. I lie awake at night and say them.

If you once get those verses in your head, _good night_! Most all the

rest of that day we were singing them. I guess the people in Catskill

Landing thought we were a lot of lunatics. So now I’m going to write

those verses down again But you want to be careful not to let them get

you or you’ll come to be a raving maniac. If you do you can blame Hervey

Willetts.

Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,

Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;

Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,

But follow your leader wherever he goes.

Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows,

Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose;

Your job is to follow and not to suppose,

And follow your leader wherever he goes.

Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows.

Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows;

Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,

But follow your leader wherever he goes!

Roy Blakeley's Funny-bone Hike · 第 2 / 36 章