1. Since you ask me every time that you meet me, my friend Timocrates,
what was said by the Deipnosophists, thinking that we are making some
discoveries, we will remind you of what is said by Antiphanes, in his
Poesy, in this manner--
In every way, my friends, is Tragedy
A happy poem. For the argument
Is, in the first place, known to the spectators,
Before one single actor says a word.
So that the poet need do little more
Than just remind his hearers what they know.
For should I speak of Oedipus, at once
They recollect his story--how his father
Was Laius, and Jocasta too his mother;
What were his sons', and what his daughters' names,
And what he did and suffer'd. So again
If a man names Alcmæon, the very children
Can tell you how he in his madness slew
His mother; and Adrastus furious,
Will come in haste, and then depart again;
And then at last, when they can say no more,
And when the subject is almost exhausted,
They lift an engine easily as a finger,
And that is quite enough to please the theatre.
But our case is harder. We are forced
T' invent the whole of what we write; new names,
Things done before, done now, new plots, new openings,
And new catastrophes. And if we fail in aught,
Some Chremes or some Phido hisses us.
While Peleus is constraint by no such laws,
Nor Teucer.
And Diphilus says, in his Men conducting Helen--
O thou who rulest, patroness and queen,
Over this holy spot of sacred Brauron,
Bow-bearing daughter of Latona and Jove,
As the tragedians call you; who alone
Have power to do and say whate'er they please.
2. But Timocles the comic writer, asserting that tragedy is useful in
many respects to human life, says in his Women celebrating the Festival
of Bacchus--
My friend, just hear what I'm about to say.
Man is an animal by nature miserable;
And life has many grievous things in it.
Therefore he has invented these reliefs
To ease his cares; for oft the mind forgets
Its own discomforts while it soothes itself
In contemplation of another's woes,
And e'en derives some pleasure and instruction.
For first, I'd have you notice the tragedians;
What good they do to every one. The poor man
Sees Telephus was poorer still than he,
And bears his own distress more easily.
The madman thinks upon Alcmæon's case.
Has a man weak sore eyes? The sons of Phineus
Are blind as bats. Has a man lost his child?
Let him remember childless Niobe.
He's hurt his leg; and so had Philoctetes.
Is he unfortunate in his old age?
Oeneus was more so. So that every one,
Seeing that others have been more unfortunate,
Learns his own griefs to hear with more content.
3. And we accordingly, O Timocrates, will _restore_ to you the relics of
the feast of the Deipnosophists, and will not _give_ them, as Cothocides
the orator said, meaning to ridicule Demosthenes, who, when Philip gave
Halonnesus to the Athenians, advised them "not to take it if he _gave_
it, but only if he _restored_ it." And this sentence Antiphanes jested
upon in his Neottis, where he ridicules it in this manner--
My master has received (=apelaben=) as he took (=elaben=)
His patrimonial inheritance.
How would these words have pleased Demosthenes!
And Alexis says, in his Soldier--
_A._ Receive this thing.
_B._ What is it?
_A._ Why the child
Which I had from you, which I now bring back.
_B._ Why? will you no more keep him?
_A._ He's not mine.
_B._ Nor mine.
_A._ But you it was who gave him me.
_B._ I gave him not.
_A._ How so?
_B._ I but restored him.
_A._ You gave me what I never need have taken.
And in his Brothers he says--
_A._ For did I give them anything? Tell me that.
_B._ No, you restored it, holding a deposit.
And Anaxilas, in his Evandria, says--
. . . . Give it not,
Only restore it.
_B._ Here I now have brought it.
And Timocles says in his Heroes--
_A._ You bid me now to speak of everything
Rather than what is to the purpose; well,
I'll gratify you so far.
_B._ You shall find
As the first fruits that you have pacified
The great Demosthenes.
_A._ But who is he?
_B._ That Briareus who swallows spears and shields;
A man who hates all quibbles; never uses
Antithesis nor trope; but from his eyes
Glares terrible Mars.
According, therefore, to the above-mentioned poets, so we, _restoring_
but not _giving_ to you what followed after the previous conversation,
will now tell you all that was said afterwards.
4. Then came into us these servants, bringing a great quantity of sea
fish and lake fish on silver platters, so that we marvelled at the
wealth displayed, and at the costliness of the entertainment, which was
such that he seemed almost to have engaged the Nereids themselves as the
purveyors. And one of the parasites and flatterers said that Neptune was
sending fish to our Neptunian port, not by the agency of those who at
Rome sell rare fish for their weight in money; but that some were
imported from Antium, and some from Terracina, and some from the Pontian
islands opposite, and some from Pyrgi; and that is a city of Etruria.
For the fishmongers in Rome are very little different from those who
used to be turned into ridicule by the comic poets at Athens, of whom
Antiphanes says, in his Young Men--
I did indeed for a long time believe
The Gorgons an invention of the poets,
But when I came into the fish-market
I quickly found them a reality.
For looking at the fishwomen I felt
Turn'd instantly to stone, and was compell'd
To turn away my head while talking to them.
For when I see how high a price they ask,
And for what little fish, I'm motionless.
5. And Amphis says in his Impostor--
'Tis easier to get access to the general,
And one is met by language far more courteous,
And by more civil answer from his grace,
Than from those cursed fishfags in the market.
For when one asks them anything, or offers
To buy aught of them, mute they stand like Telephus,
And just as stubborn; ('tis an apt comparison,
For in a word they all are homicides;)
And neither listen nor appear to heed,
But shake a dirty polypus in your face;
Or else turn sulky, and scarce say a word,
But as if half a syllable were enough,
Say "se'n s'lings this," "this turb't eight'n-pence."
This is the treatment which a man must bear
Who seeks to buy a dinner in the fish-market.
And Alexis says in his Apeglaucomenos--
When I behold a general looking stern,
I think him wrong, but do not greatly wonder,
That one in high command should think himself
Above the common herd. But when I see
The fishmongers, of all tribes far the worst,
Bending their sulky eyes down to the ground,
And lifting up their eyebrows to their foreheads,
I am disgusted. And if you should ask,
"Tell me, I pray you, what's this pair of mullets?"
"Tenpence." "Oh, that's too much; you'll eightpence take?"
"Yes, if you'll be content with half the pair."
"Come, eightpence; that is plenty." "I will not
Take half a farthing less: don't waste my time."
Is it not bitter to endure such insolence?
6. And Diphilus says in his Busybody--
I used to think the race of fishmongers
Was only insolent in Attica;
But now I see that like wild beasts they are
Savage by nature, everywhere the same.
But here is one who goes beyond his fellows,
Nourishing flowing hair, which he doth call
Devoted to his god--though that is not the reason,
But he doth use it as a veil to hide
The brand which marks his forehead. Should you ask him,
What is this pike's price? he will tell you "tenpence;"
Not say what pence he means; then if you give him
The money, he will claim Ægina's coinage;
While if you ask for change, he'll give you Attic.
And thus he makes a profit on both sides.
And Xenarchus says in his Purple--
Poets are nonsense; for they never say
A single thing that's new. But all they do
Is to clothe old ideas in language new,
Turning the same things o'er and o'er again,
And upside down. But as to fishmongers,
They're an inventive race, and yield to none
In shameless conduct. For as modern laws
Forbid them now to water their stale fish,
Some fellow, hated by the gods, beholding
His fish quite dry, picks with his mates a quarrel,
And blows are interchanged. Then when one thinks
He's had enough, he falls, and seems to faint,
And lies like any corpse among his baskets.
Some one calls out for water; and his partner
Catches a pail, and throws it o'er his friend
So as to sprinkle all his fish, and make
The world believe them newly caught and fresh.
7. And that they often do sell fish which is dead and stinking is proved
by what Antiphanes says in his Adulterers, as follows--
There's not on earth a more unlucky beast
Than a poor fish, for whom 'tis not enough
To die when caught, that they may find at once
A grave in human stomachs; but what's worse,
They fall into the hands of odious fishmongers,
And rot and lie upon their stalls for days;
And if they meet with some blind purchaser,
He scarce can carry them when dead away;
But throws them out of doors, and thinks that he
Has through his nose had taste enough of them.
And in his Friend of the Thebans he says--
Is it not quite a shame, that if a man
Has fresh-caught fish to sell, he will not speak
To any customer without a frown
Upon his face, and language insolent?
And if his fish are stale, he jokes and laughs--
While his behaviour should the contrary be:
The first might laugh, the latter should be shamed.
And that they sell their fish very dear we are told by Alexis in his
Pylæan Women--
Yes, by Minerva, I do marvel at
The tribe of fishmongers, that they are not
All wealthy men, such royal gains they make.
For sitting in the market they do think it
A trifling thing to tithe our properties;
But would take all at one fell swoop away.
8. And the same poet says in his play entitled the Caldron--
There never was a better lawgiver
Than rich Aristonicus. For he now
Does make this law, that any fishmonger
Who puts a price upon his fish, and then
Sells it for less, shall be at once dragg'd off
And put in prison; that by their example
The rest may learn to ask a moderate price,
And be content with that, and carry home
Their rotten fish each evening; and then
Old men, old women, boys, and all their customers,
Will buy whatever suits them at fair price.
And a little further on he says--
There never has, since Solon's time, been seen
A better lawgiver than Aristonicus.
For he has given many different laws,
And now he introduces this new statute,
A golden statute, that no fishmonger
Should sell his fish while sitting, but that all
Shall stand all day i' the market. And he says
Next year he will enact that they shall sell
Being hung up; for so they will let off
Their customers more easily, when they
Are raised by a machine like gods in a play.
9. And Antiphanes, in his Hater of Wickedness, displays their rudeness
and dishonesty, comparing them to the greatest criminals who exist among
men, speaking as follows--
Are not the Scythians of men the wisest?
Who when their children are first born do give them
The milk of mares and cows to drink at once,
And do not trust them to dishonest nurses,
Or tutors, who of evils are the worst,
Except the midwives only. For that class
Is worst of all, and next to them do come
The begging priests of mighty Cybele;
And it is hard to find a baser lot--
Unless indeed you speak of fishmongers,
But they are worse than even money-changers,
And are in fact the worst of all mankind.
10. And it was not without some wit that Diphilus, in his Merchant,
speaks in this manner of fish being sold at an exorbitant price--
I never heard of dearer fish at any time.
Oh, Neptune, if you only got a tenth
Of all that money, you would be by far
The richest of the gods! And yet if he,
The fishmonger I mean, had been but civil,
I would have given him his price, though grumbling;
And, just as Priam ransom'd Hector, I
Would have put down his weight to buy the conger.
And Alexis says in his Grecian Woman--
Living and dead, the monsters of the deep
Are hostile to us always. If our ship
Be overturn'd, they then at once devour
Whatever of the crew they catch while swimming:
And if they're caught themselves by fishermen,
When dead they half undo their purchasers;
For with our whole estate they must be bought,
And the sad purchaser comes off a beggar.
And Archippus, in his play called the Fish, mentions one fishmonger by
name, Hermæus the Egyptian, saying--
The cursedest of all fish-dealers is
Hermæus the Egyptian; who skins
And disembowels all the vilest fish,
And sells them for the choicest, as I hear.
And Alexis, in his Rich Heiress, mentions a certain fishmonger by name,
Micio.
11. And perhaps it is natural for fishermen to be proud of their skill,
even to a greater degree than the most skilful generals. Accordingly,
Anaxandrides, in his Ulysses, introduces one of them, speaking in this
way of the fisherman's art--
The beauteous handiwork of portrait painters
When in a picture seen is much admired;
But the fair fruit of our best skill is seen
In a rich dish just taken from the frying-pan.
For by what other art, my friend, do we
See young men's appetites so much inflamed?
What causes such outstretching of the hands?
What is so apt to choke one, if a man
Can hardly swallow it? Does not the fish-market
Alone give zest to banquets? Who can spread
A dinner without fried fish, or anchovies,
Or high-priced mullet? With what words or charms
Can a well-favour'd youth be caught, if once
The fisherman's assistance be denied?
His art subdues him, bringing to the fish-kettle
The heads of well-boil'd fish; this leads him on
To doors which guard th' approach to a good dinner,
And bids him haste, though nought himself contributing.
12. And Alexis says this with reference to those who are too anxious as
to buying their fish, in his Rich Heiress--
Whoever being poor buys costly fish,
And though in want of much, in this is lavish,
He strips by night whoever he may meet.
So when a man is stripp'd thus, let him go
At early morn and watch the fish-market.
And the first man he sees both poor and young
Buying his eels of Micio, let him seize him,
And drag him off to prison by the throat.
And Diphilus, in his Merchant, says that there is some such law as this
in existence among the Corinthians--
_A._ This is an admirable law at Corinth,
That when we see a man from time to time
Purveying largely for his table, we
Should ask him whence he comes, and what's his business:
And if he be a man of property,
Whose revenues can his expenses meet,
Then we may let him as he will enjoy himself.
But if he do his income much exceed,
Then they bid him desist from such a course,
And fix a fine on all who disobey.
And if a man having no means at all
Still lives in splendid fashion, him they give
Unto the gaoler.
_B._ Hercules! what a law.
_A._ For such a man can't live without some crime.
Dost thou not see? He must rove out by night
And rob, break into houses, or else share
With some who do so. Or he must haunt the forum,
A vile informer, or be always ready
As a hired witness. And this tribe we hate,
And gladly would expel from this our city.
_B._ And you'd do well, by Jove; but what is that to me?
_A._ Because we see you every day, my friend,
Making not moderate but extravagant purchases.
You hinder all the rest from buying fish,
And drive the city to the greengrocer,
And so we fight for parsley like the combatants
At Neptune's games on th' Isthmus. Does a hare
Come to the market? it is yours; a thrush
Or partridge? all do go the selfsame way.
So that we cannot buy or fish or fowl;
And you have raised the price of foreign wine.
And Sophilus, in his Androcles, wishes that the same custom prevailed at
Athens also, thinking that it would be a good thing if two or three men
were appointed by the city to the regulation of the provision markets.
And Lynceus the Samian wrote a treatise on purveying against some one
who was very difficult to please when making his purchases; teaching him
what a man ought to say to those homicidal fishmongers, so as to buy
what he wants at a fair rate and without being exposed to any
annoyance.
13. Ulpian again picking out the thorns from what was said, asked--Are
we able to show that the ancients used silver vessels at their banquets?
and is the word =pinax= a Greek noun? For with reference to the
line in Homer--
The swineherd served up dishes (=pinakas=) of rich meat,[361:1]
Aristophanes the Byzantine said that it was a modernism to speak of
meats being placed on platters (=pinakes=), not being aware that in
other places the poet has said--
Dishes (=pinakas=) of various meats the butler brought.[361:2]
I ask also, if any men among the ancients had ever acquired a multitude
of slaves, as the men of modern times do: and if the word =têganon=
(frying-pan) is ever found, and not the form =tagênon= only. So that we
may not fix our whole attention on eating and drinking, like those who
from their devotion to their bellies are called parasites and
flatterers.
14. And Æmilianus replied to him,--The word =pinax=, when used of a
vessel, you may find used by Metagenes the comic writer, in his Valiant
Persians: and Pherecrates, my friend, has used the form =têganon= in his
Trifles, where he says--
He said he ate anchovies from the frying-pan (=têganon=).
And the same poet has also said in the Persæ--
To sit before the frying-pans (=têgana=) burning rushes.
And Philonides says, in his Buskins--
Receive him now with rays and frying-pans (=têgana=).
And again he says--
Smelling of frying-pans (=têgana=).
And Eubulus says, in his Orthane--
The bellows rouses Vulcan's guardian dogs,
With the warm vapour of the frying-pan (=têganon=).
And in another place he says--
But every lovely woman walks along
Fed with the choicest morsels from the frying-pan (=têganon=).
And in his Titans he says--
And the dish
Doth laugh and bubble up with barbarous talk,
And the fish leap =en mesoisi têganois=.
And Phrynichus also uses a verb derived from the word in his Tragedian--
'Tis sweet to eat fried meat, at any feast
For which one has been at no cost oneself.
And Pherecrates, in his Ant Men says--"Are you eating fried meat
(=Sy d' apotêganizeis=)?"
But Hegesander the Delphian says that the Syracusans call a dish
=têganon=, and the proper =têganon= they call =xêrotêganon=; on which
account he says that Theodorides says in some poem--
He in a =têganon= did boil it well,
In a large swimming dish.
Where he uses =têganon= for =lopas=. But the Ionians write the word
=êganon= without the letter =t=, as Anacreon says--
Putting his hand within the frying-pan =êganon=.
15. But with respect to the use of silver plate, my good friend Ulpian,
you make me stop to consider a little; but I recollect what is said by
Alexis in his Exile--
For where an earthen pot is to be let
For the cook's use.
For down to the times of the supremacy of the Macedonians the attendants
used to perform their duties with vessels made of earthenware, as my
countryman Juba declares. But when the Romans altered the way of living,
giving it a more expensive direction, then Cleopatra, arranging her
style of living in imitation of them, she, I mean, who ultimately
destroyed the Egyptian monarchy, not being able to alter the name, she
called gold and silver plate =keramon=; and then she gave the guests
what she called the =kerama= to carry away with them; and this was very
costly. And on the Rosic earthenware, which was the most beautiful,
Cleopatra spent five minæ every day. But Ptolemy the king, in the eighth
book of his commentaries, writing of Masinissa the king of the Libyans,
speaks as follows--"His entertainments were arranged in the Roman
fashion, everything being served up in silver =keramon=. And the second
course he arranged in the Italian mode. His dishes were all made of
gold; made after the fashion of those which are plaited of bulrushes or
ropes. And he employed Greek musicians.
16. But Aristophanes the comic writer, whom Heliodorus the Athenian
says, in his treatise concerning the Acropolis, (and it occupies fifteen
books,) was a Naucratite by birth, in his play called Plutus, after the
god who gave his name to the play and appeared on the stage, says that
dishes of silver were in existence, just as all other things might be
had made of the same metal. And his words are--
But every vinegar cruet, dish and ewer
Is made of brass; while all the dirty dishes
In which they serve up fish are made of silver.
The oven too is made of ivory.
And Plato says, in his Ambassadors--
Epicrates and his good friend Phormisius,
Received many and magnificent gifts
From the great king; a golden cruet-stand,
And silver plates and dishes.
And Sophron, in his Female Actresses, says--
The whole house shone
With store of gold, and of much silver plate.
17. And Philippides, in his Disappearance of Silver, speaks of the use
of it as ostentatious and uncommon, and aimed at only by some foreigners
who had made fortunes but lately--
_A._ I felt a pity for all human things,
Seeing men nobly born to ruin hasting,
And branded slaves displaying silver dishes
Whene'er they ate a pennyworth of salt-fish,
Or a small handful of capers, in a plate
Whose weight is fifty drachms of purest silver.
And formerly 'twould have been hard to see
One single flagon vow'd unto the gods.
_B._ That is rare now. For if one man should vow
A gift like that, some other man would steal it.
And Alexis, in his Little House, introducing a young man in love
displaying his wealth to his mistress, represents him as making her some
such speech as this--
_A._ I told the slaves, (for I brought two from home,)
To place the carefully wiped silver vessels
Fairly in sight. There was a silver goblet,
And cups which weigh'd two drachms; a beaker too
Whose weight was four; a wine-cooler, ten obols,
Slighter than e'en Philippides' own self.
And yet these things are not so ill-contrived
To make a show . . . .
And I am myself acquainted with one of our own fellow-citizens who is as
proud as he is poor, and who, when all his silver plate put together
scarcely weighed a drachma, used to keep calling for his servant, a
single individual, and the only one he had, but still he called him by
hundreds of different names. "Here, you Strombichides, do not put on the
table any of my winter plate, but my summer plate." And the character
in Nicostratus, in the play entitled the Kings, is just such another.
There is a braggart soldier, of whom he speaks--
There is some vinegar and a wine-cooler,
Thinner than thinnest gauze.
For there were at that time people who were able to beat out silver till
it was as thin as a piece of skin.
18. And Antiphanes, in his Lemnian Women, says--
A three-legg'd table now is laid, and on it
A luscious cheesecake, O ye honour'd gods,
And this year's honey in a silver dish.
And Sopater the parodist, in his Orestes, writes--
A silver dish, bearing a stinking shad.
And in the drama entitled Phace he says--
But at his supper he does sport a cruet
Of shining silver, richly chased with figures,
And bas-reliefs of dragons: such as Thibron
Used to display, most delicate of men,
Stripp'd of his wealth by arts of Tantalus.
And Theopompus the Chian, in his Letters of Advice to Alexander, when he
enters into a discussion about Theocritus his fellow-citizen, says--"But
he drinks out of silver cups and out of golden cups, and uses other
vessels of the same kind upon his table. A man who formerly not only did
not drink out of silver vessels, but who had not brazen ones either, but
was content with the commonest earthenware, and even that very often
cracked and chipped. And Diphilus says, in his Painter--
A splendid breakfast then appear'd, consisting
Of all that was desirable or new;
First every kind of oyster; then a phalanx
Of various side-dishes, and a heap
Of broilèd meats fresh from the gridiron,
And potted meats in silver mortars pounded.
And Philemon says in his Physician--
And a large basket full of silver plate.
And Menander, in his Heautontimorumenos, says--
A bath, maid-servants, lots of silver plate.
And in his Hymnis he writes--
But I am come in quest of silver plate.
And Lysias, in his Oration on the Golden Tripod, if indeed the speech
be a genuine one of his, says--"It was still possible to give silver
or gold plate." But those who pique themselves on the purity of
their Greek, say that the proper expression is not =argyrômata= and
=chrysômata=, but =argyrous kosmos= and =chrysous kosmos=.
19. When Æmilianus had said this, Pontianus said--For formerly gold was
really exceedingly scarce among the Greeks; and there was not indeed
much silver; at least, not much which was extracted from the mines; on
which account Duris the Samian says that Philip, the father of the great
king Alexander, as he was possessed of one flagon of gold, always put it
under his pillow when he went to bed. And Herodotus of Heraclea says,
that the Golden Lamb of Atreus, which was the pregnant cause of many
eclipses of the sun, and changes of kings, and which was, moreover, the
subject of a great many tragedies, was a golden flagon, having in the
centre a figure of a golden lamb. And Anaximenes of Lampsacus, in the
first of those works of his, called Histories, says that the necklace of
Eriphyle was so notorious because gold at that time was so rare among
the Greeks; for that a golden goblet was at that time a most unusual
thing to see; but that after the taking of Delphi by the Phocians, then
all such things began to be more abundant. But formerly even those men
who were accounted exceedingly rich used to drink out of brazen goblets,
and the repositories where they put them away they called =chalkothêkai=.
And Herodotus says that the Egyptian priests drink out of brazen
goblets; and he affirms that silver flagons could not be found to be
given to all the kings, even when they sacrificed in public; and,
accordingly, that Psammetichus, who was later than the other kings,
performed his libations with a brazen flagon, while the rest made their
offerings with silver ones. But after the temple at Delphi had been
plundered by the tyrants of Phocis, then gold became common among the
Greeks, and silver became actually abundant; and afterwards, when the
great Alexander had brought into Greece all the treasures from out of
Asia, then there really did shine forth what Pindar calls "wealth
predominating far and wide."
20. And the silver and gold offerings which were at Delphi were offered
originally by Gyges the king of the Lydians. For before the reign of
this monarch Apollo had no silver, and still less had he gold, as
Phanias the Eresian tells us, and Theopompus, too, in the fortieth book
of his History of the Transactions of the Reign of Philip. For these
writers relate that the Pythian temple was adorned by Gyges, and by
Croesus who succeeded him; and after them by Gelo and Hiero, the
tyrants of Syracuse: the first of whom offered up a tripod and a statue
of Victory, both made of gold, about the time that Xerxes was making his
expedition against Greece; and Hiero made similar offerings. And
Theopompus uses the following language--"For anciently the temple was
adorned with brazen offerings: I do not mean statues, but caldrons and
tripods made of brass. The Lacedæmonians, therefore, wishing to gild the
face of the Apollo that was at Amyclæ, and not finding any gold in
Greece, having sent to the oracle of the god, asked the god from whom
they could buy gold; and he answered them that they should go to
Croesus the Lydian, and buy it of him. And they went and bought the
gold of Croesus. But Hiero the Syracusan, wishing to offer to the god
a tripod and a statue of Victory of unalloyed gold, and being in want of
the gold for a long time, afterwards sent men to Greece to seek for it;
who, coming after a time to Corinth, and tracing it out, found some in
the possession of Architeles the Corinthian, who had been a long time
buying it up by little and little, and so had no inconsiderable quantity
of it; and he sold it to the emissaries of Hiero in what quantity they
required. And after that, having filled his hand with it he made them a
present of all that he could hold in his hand, in return for which Hiero
sent a vessel full of corn, and many other gifts to him from Sicily."
21. And Phanias relates the same circumstances in his history of the
Tyrants in Sicily, saying that the ancient offerings had been brass,
both tripods, and caldrons, and daggers; and that on one of them there
was the following inscription--
Look on me well; for I was once a part
Of the wide tower which defended Troy
When Greeks and Trojans fought for fair-hair'd Helen;
And Helicon, brave Antenor's son,
Brought me from thence, and placed me here, to be
An ornament to Phoebus' holy shrine.
And in the tripod, which was one of the prizes offered at the funeral
games in honour of Patroclus, there was the inscription--
I am a brazen tripod, and I lie
Here as an ornament of Delphi's shrine.
The swift Achilles gave me as a prize
What time he placed Patroclus on the pile,
And Tydeus' mighty son, brave Diomede,
Offer'd me here, won by his speedy coursers
In the swift race by Helle's spacious wave.
22. And Ephorus, or Demophilus, his son, in the thirtieth book of his
Histories, speaking of the temple of Delphi, says, "But Onomarchus and
Phayllus and Phalæcus not only carried off all the treasures of the god,
but at last their wives carried off also the ornaments of Eriphyle,
which Alcmæon consecrated at Delphi by the command of the god, and also
the necklace of Helen, which had been given by Menelaus. For the god had
given each of them oracles: he had said to Alcmæon, when he asked him
how he could be cured of his madness--
You ask a precious gift, relief from madness;
Give me a precious gift yourself; the chain
With which your mother buried, steeds and all,
Your sire, her husband, brave Amphiaraus.
And he replied to Menelaus, who consulted him as to how he might avenge
himself on Paris--
Bring me the golden ornament of the neck
Of your false wife; which Venus once did give
A welcome gift to Helen; and then Paris
Shall glut your direst vengeance by his fall.
And it so fell out that a violent quarrel arose among the women about
these ornaments--which should take which. And when they had drawn lots
for the choice, the one of them, who was very ugly and stern, got
Eriphyle's necklace, but the one who was conspicuous for beauty and
wanton got the ornaments of Helen; and she, being in love with a young
man of Epirus, went away with him, but the other contrived to put her
husband to death.
23. But the divine Plato, and Lycurgus the Lacedæmonian, not only forbad
all costly ornaments to be introduced into their model states, but they
would not permit even silver or gold to be brought into them, thinking
that of the products of mines, iron and copper were sufficient, and
banishing the other metals as injurious to those states which were in
good order. But Zeno the Stoic, thinking everything unimportant except
the legitimate and honest use of the precious metals, forbad either
praying for or deprecating them; but still he recommended chiefly the
use of those which were more commonly accessible and less superfluous;
in order that men, having the dispositions of their minds formed so as
neither to fear nor to admire anything which is not honourable on the
one hand or discreditable on the other, should use only what is natural
as much as possible, and yet should not fear what is of an opposite
character, but abstain from such in obedience to reason and not to fear.
For nature has not banished any of the above-mentioned things out of the
world, but has made subterranean veins of these metals, the working of
which is very laborious and difficult, in order that they who desire
such things may arrive at the acquisition after toil and suffering; and
that not only those men themselves who work in the mines, but those also
who collect what has been extracted from the mines, may acquire this
much wished for opulence at the expense of countless labours.
Therefore a little of these metals lies on the surface just to serve as
a sample of the rest which is beneath, since in the remotest corners of
the earth also there are rivers bearing down gold-dust in their waters;
and women and men destitute of bodily strength scratching among the
sand, detach these particles from the sand, and then they wash them and
bring them to the smelting-pot, as my countryman Posidonius says is done
among the Helvetians, and among others of the Celtic tribes. And the
mountains which used formerly to be called the Rhipæan mountains, and
which were subsequently named the Olbian (as if happy), and which are
now called the Alps, (they are mountains in Gaul,) when once the woods
upon them had caught fire spontaneously, ran with liquid silver. The
greater quantity of this metal, however, is found by mining operations
carried on at a great depth, and attended by great hardship, according
to the statement of Demetrius Phalereus, in consequence of the desire of
avarice to draw Pluto himself out of the recesses of the earth; and,
accordingly, he says facetiously that--"Men having often abandoned what
was visible for the sake of what was uncertain, have not got what they
expected, and have lost what they had, being unfortunate by an
enigmatical sort of calamity."
24. But the Lacedæmonians being hindered by their national institutions
from introducing silver or gold into Sparta, as the same Posidonius
relates, or from possessing any in private, did possess it nevertheless,
but then they deposited it among their neighbours the Arcadians. But
subsequently the Arcadians became enemies to them instead of friends, as
they had been; picking a quarrel with them with the express view of
seizing on this deposit without being called to account for it, by
reason of the enmity now subsisting. Therefore it is said that the gold
and silver which had formerly been at Lacedæmon was consecrated at
Delphi to Apollo; and that when Lysander brought gold publicly into the
city he was the cause of many evils to the state by so doing. And it is
said that Gylippus, who delivered the Syracusans, was put to death by
starvation, having been condemned by the Ephori, because he had
embezzled some of the money sent to Sparta by Lysander. But that which
had been devoted to the god and been granted to the people as a public
ornament and public property, it was not decent for any mortal to treat
with contempt.
25. But that tribe of Gauls which is called the Cordistæ, does not
introduce gold into their country either, still they are not the less
ready to plunder the territories of their neighbours, and to commit
injustice; and that nation is a remnant of the Gauls who formed the army
of Brennus when he made his expedition against the temple of Delphi. And
a certain Bathanatius, acting as their leader, settled them as a colony
in the districts around the Ister, from whom they call the road by which
they returned the Bathanatian road, and even to this day they call his
posterity the Bathanati. And these men proscribe gold, and do not
introduce it into their territories, as a thing on account of which they
have suffered many calamities; but they do use silver, and for the sake
of that they commit the most enormous atrocities. Although the proper
course would be, not to banish the whole class of the thing of which
they were formerly plundered, but the impiety which could perpetrate
such a sacrilege. And even if they did not introduce silver into their
country, still they would commit excesses in the pursuit of copper and
iron; and even if they had not these things, still they would continue
to rage in war against other nations for the sake of meat and drink, and
other necessaries.
26. When Pontianus had delivered his opinion in these terms, and while
most of the guests were endeavouring to solve the questions proposed by
Ulpian, Plutarch, being one of those who was attending to the other
subjects of discussion, said,--The name parasite was in former days a
respectable and a holy name. At all events, Polemo (whether he was a
Samian or a Sicyonian, or whether he prefers the name of an Athenian,
which Heraclides the Mopseatian gives him, who also speaks of him as
being claimed by other cities; and he was also called Stelocopas, as
Herodicus the Cratetian has told us,) writing about parasites, speaks as
follows--"The name of parasite is now a disreputable one; but among the
ancients we find the word parasite used as something sacred, and nearly
equivalent to the title Messmate. Accordingly, at Cynosarges, in the
temple of Hercules, there is a pillar on which is engraven a decree of
Alcibiades; the clerk who drew it up being Stephanus the son of
Thucydides; and in it mention is made of this name in the following
terms--'Let the priest perform the monthly sacrifices with the
parasites; and let the parasites select one bastard, and one of the sons
of the same, according to the usual national customs; and whoever is
unwilling to take the place of a parasite, let the priest report him to
the tribunal.' And in the tables of the laws concerning the Deliastæ it
is written--'And let two heralds, of the family of the heralds, of that
branch of it which is occupied about the sacred mysteries, be chosen;
and let them be parasites in the temple of Delos for a year.' And in
Pallenis this inscription is engraved on the offerings there found--'The
Archons and parasites made these offerings, who, in the archonship of
Pythodorus, were crowned with a golden crown;[370:1] and the parasites
were, in the archonship of Lycostratus, Gargettius; in the archonship of
Pericletus, Pericles Pitheus; in that of Demochares, Charinus.' And in
the laws of the king, we find the following words--'That the parasites
of the Acharnensians shall sacrifice to Apollo.' But Clearchus the
Solensian, and he was one of the disciples of Aristotle, in the first
book of his Lives, writes thus--'But now they call a parasite a man who
is ready for anything; but in former times he was a man picked out as a
companion.'" Accordingly, in the ancient laws, most cities mention
parasites among the most honourable of their officers; and, indeed,
they do so to this day. And Clidemus says in his Attic Women--
And then they chose some parasites for Hercules.
And Themiso, in his Pallenis, says--"That the king, who from time to
time fills that office, and the parasites, whom they appoint from the
main body of the people, and the old men, and the women who still have
their first husbands, shall take care of such and such things."
27. And from this you perceive, my good friend Ulpian, that you may
raise another question, who the women are who still have their first
husbands? But (for we are still speaking about the parasites) there is
also an inscription on a pillar in the Anaceum to the following
effect--"Of the best bulls which are selected, one-third is to be
appropriated to the games; and of the remaining two-thirds, one is to go
to the priest, and the other to the parasites." But Crates, in the
second book of his treatise on the Attic Dialect, says--"And the word
parasite is now used in a disreputable sense; but formerly those people
were called parasites who were selected to collect the sacred corn, and
there was a regular Hall of the parasites; on which account the
following expressions occur in the law of the king--"That the king shall
take care of the Archons that they are properly appointed, and that they
shall select the parasites from the different boroughs, according to the
statutes enacted with reference to that subject. And that the parasites
shall, without any evasion or fraud, select from their own share a sixth
part of a bushel of barley, on which all who are citizens of Athens
shall feast in the temple, according to the national laws and customs.
And that the parasites of the Acharnensians shall give a sixth part of a
bushel from their collection of barley to the guild of priests of
Apollo. And that there was a regular Hall for the parasites is shown by
the following expressions in the same law--"For the repairs of the
temple, and of the magistrates' hall, and of the hall of parasites, and
of the sacred house, they shall pay whatever sums of money the
contractors appointed by the priests think necessary." From this it is
evident that the place in which the parasites laid up the first-fruits
of the consecrated corn was called the Parasitium, or the Hall of the
parasites.
And Philochorus gives the same account in his book entitled the
Tetrapolis, where he mentions the parasites who were elected for the
temple of Hercules; and Diodorus of Sinope, a comic poet, in his Heir,
(from which I will cite some testimonies presently,) says the same. And
Aristotle, in his treatise on the Constitution of the Methoneans,
says--"Parasites were two in number for each of the archons, and one for
the polemarchs. And they received a fixed allowance from others, and
they also took dishes of fish from the fishermen."
28. But the meaning which is now given to the name parasite is one which
Carystius of Pergamus, in his treatise on the Didascaliæ, says was first
invented by Alexis, forgetting that Epicharmus, in his Hope or Plutus,
has introduced one in a drinking party, where he says--
But here another stands at this man's feet,
* * * * *
Seeking for food which shall not cost him anything,
And he will drink up an entire cask,
As if it were a cupfull.
And he introduces the parasite himself, making the following speech to
some one who questioned him--
I sup with any one who likes, if he
Has only got the good sense to invite me;
And with each man who makes a marriage feast,
Whether I'm asked or not, there I am witty;
There I make others laugh, and there I praise
The host, who gives the feast. And if by chance
Any one dares to say a word against him,
I arm myself for contest, and overwhelm him.
Then eating much and drinking plentifully,
I leave the house. No link-boy doth attend me;
But I do pick my way with stumbling steps,
Both dark and desolate; and if sometimes
I do the watchmen meet, I swear to them
By all the gods that I have done no wrong;
But still they set on me. At last, well beaten,
I reach my home, and go to sleep on the ground,
And for a while forget my blows and bruises,
While the strong wine retains its sway and lulls me.
29. And the parasite of Epicharmus makes a second speech of the same
kind. And a parasite of Diphilus speaks thus--
When a rich man who gives a dinner asks me,
I look not at the ceiling or the cornices,
Nor do I criticise Corinthian chasings,
But keep my eyes fixed on the kitchen smoke,
And if it goes up strong and straight to heaven,
I joy and triumph, and I clap my wings;
But it be but thin and moving sidewise,
Then I perceive my feast too will be thin.
But Homer is the first person, as some say, who introduced the character
of a parasite, saying of Podes that he was a beloved guest of Hector--
There stood a Trojan, not unknown to fame,
Eetion's son, and Podes was his name,--
With riches honour'd, and with courage blest,
By Hector loved, his comrade and his guest.[373:1]
For the word =eilapinê= comes to the same thing as =deipnon=, on which
account he makes him wounded by Menelaus in the belly, as Demetrius the
Scepsian says; as also he represents Pandarus as wounded in the tongue,
because of his having perjured himself; and it is a Spartan who wounds
him, one of a nation very much devoted to temperance.
30. But the ancient poets called parasites flatterers; from whom also
Eupolis gave this title to his play, where he represents a chorus of
flatterers speaking thus--
But we will tell you now
The mode of life adopted
By the whole flattering band,
And listen ye, and learn
How well-bred we all are.
For first of all a boy,
Another person's slave,
Attends us; and we are
Content with very little.
I have two well-made garments,
And always have one on;
I hie me to the forum,
And when I see a man,
A foolish man but rich,
I make my way to him,
And if he says a word
I praise his wit and laugh,
Delighted at his jests.
And then we go to supper,
My friends and I, pursuing
Each different game so long
As we can save our money.
And then the parasite
Must show his wit and manners,
Or out of doors be turned.
And one there was, Acestor,
A branded slave, if I
Am bound to tell the truth,
And he was treated so.
For not one single joke
Did he ope his lips to utter,
And so the slaves expell'd
And pilloried the knave,
And gave him up to Oeneus.
31. And Araros, in his Hymenæus, uses the word parasite, where he says--
Why you must be a parasite, my friend;
And 'tis Ischomachus who does support you.
And the word is constantly used among the later writers. And the verb
=parasiteô=, to be a parasite, occurs in Plato the comic writer, in his
Laches. For he says--
See how these youths do play the parasite.
And Alexis says that there are two kinds of parasites, in his Pilot,
where we find this passage--
_A._ There are two kinds of parasites, Nausinicos:
The one the common one, much jested on
By comic writers, we, the blackfaced men.
_N._ What is the other kind?
_A._ Satraps of parasites;
Illustrious leaders of the band; a troop
Whom you may call the venerable parasites;
Men who act well throughout their lives;
Knit their brows gravely, win estates and legacies.
Know'st thou the kind of men, and these their manners?
_N._ Indeed I do.
_A._ Each of these men have one
Fix'd method of proceeding, flattery;
And as in life, fortune makes some men great,
And bids the rest content themselves with little;
So some of us do thrive, and some do fail.
Do I not make the matter plain to you?
_N._ Why if I praise you, you will ask for more.
32. And Timocles, in his Dracontius, hits off the parasite very neatly,
and describes his character thus--
Shall I then let a man abuse the parasites?
No, surely, for there is no race of men
More useful in such matters. And if company
Be one of the things which makes life pass agreeably,
Surely a parasite does this most constantly.
Are you in love? he, at the shortest notice,
Feels the same passion. Have you any business?
His business is at once the same as yours;
And he's at hand to help you as you wish;
Thinking that only fair to him that feeds him.
'Tis marvellous how he doth praise his friends--
He loves a feast where he is ask'd for nothing.
What man, what hero, or what god exists,
Who does not scorn such habits and such principles?
But that I mayn't detain you all the day,
I think that I can give you one clear proof
In what respect men hold a parasite;
For they receive the same rewards as those
Who at Olympia bear the palm of victory--
They both are fed for nothing for their virtues;
And wheresoe'er there is no contribution,
That place we ought to call the Prytaneum.
33. And Antiphanes, in his Twins, says--
For look, the parasite, if you judge aright,
Shares both the life and fortune of his friends.
There is no parasite who'd wish his friends
To be unfortunate; but on the contrary
His constant prayer will be, that all may prosper.
Has any one a fortune? he don't envy him;
He'd rather always be at hand to share it.
He is a genuine friend, and eke a safe one,
Not quarrelsome, ill-humour'd, peevish, sulky,
But skill'd to keep his temper. Do you mock him?
He laughs himself; he's amorous or mirthful,
Just as his friend is i' th' humour. He's a general,
Or valiant soldier, only let his pay
Be a good dinner, and he'll ask no more.
34. And Aristophon, in his Physician, says--
I wish now to inform him
What is my disposition.
If any one gives a dinner,
I'm always to be found,
So that the young men scoffing
Because I come in first
Do call me gravy soup.
Then if there be occasion
To check a drunken guest,
Or turn him out by force,
You'd think I were Antæus;
Or must a door be forced?
I butt like any ram;
Or would you scale a ladder?
I'm Capaneus, and eager
To climb like him to heaven.
Are blows to be endured?
A very anvil I;
Or Telamon or Ajax,
If wounds are to be given;
While as a beauty-hunter
E'en smoke itself can't beat me.[375:1]
And in his Pythagorean he says--
For being hungry, and yet eating nothing,
He is a Tithymallus or Philippides;
For water-drinking he's a regular frog;
For eating thyme and cabbages, a snail;
For hating washing he's a pig; for living
Out in the open air, a perfect blackbird;
For standing cold and chattering all the day,
A second grasshopper; in hating oil
He's dust; for walking barefoot in the morning,
A crane; for passing sleepless nights, a bat.
35. And Antiphanes says in his Ancestors--
You know my ways;
That there's no pride in me, but I am just
Like this among my friends: a mass of iron
To bear their blows, a thunderbolt to give them;
Lightning to blind a man, the wind to move one;
A very halter, if one needs be choked;
An earthquake to heave doors from off their hinges;
A flea to leap quick in; a fly to come
And feast without a formal invitation;
Not to depart too soon, a perfect well.
I'm ready when I'm wanted, whether it be
To choke a man or kill him, or to prove
A case against him. All that others say,
Those things I am prepared at once to do.
And young men, mocking me on this account,
Do call me whirlwind--but for me, I care not
For such light jests. For to my friends I prove
A friend in deeds, and not in words alone.
But Diphilus in his Parasite, when a wedding-feast is about to take
place, represents the parasite as speaking thus--
Do you not know that in the form of curse
These words are found, If any one do fail
To point the right road to a traveller,
To quench a fire; or if any one spoil
The water of a spring or well, or hinders
A guest upon his way when going to supper?
And Eubulus says in his Oedipus--
The man who first devised the plan of feasting
At other folk's expense, must sure have been
A gentleman of very popular manners;
But he who ask'd a friend or any stranger
To dinner, and then made him bear his share,
May he be banish'd, and his goods all seized.
36. And Diodorus of Sinope, in his Orphan Heiress, has these
expressions, when speaking of a parasite, and they are not devoid of
elegance--
I wish to show and prove beyond a doubt
How reputable, and how usual too,
This practice is; a most divine contrivance.
Other arts needed not the gods to teach them;
Wise men invented them; but Jove himself
Did teach his friends to live as parasites,
And he confessedly is king o' the gods.
For he does often to men's houses come,
And cares not whether they be rich or poor;
And wheresoe'er he sees a well-laid couch,
And well-spread table near, supplied with all
That's good or delicate, he sits him down,
And asks himself to dinner, eats and drinks,
And then goes home again, and pays no share.
And I now do the same. For when I see
Couches prepared, and handsome tables loaded,
And the door open to receive the guests,
I enter in at once, and make no noise,
But trim myself, behaving quietly,
To give no great annoyance to my neighbour,
And then, when I have well enjoy'd the whole
That's set before me, and when I have drunk
Of delicate wines enough, I home return,
Like friendly Jupiter. And that such a line
Was always thought respectable and honest,
I now will give you a sufficient proof.
This city honours Hercules exceedingly,
And sacrifices to him in all the boroughs,
And at these sacred rites it ne'er admits
The common men, or parasites, or beggars;
But out of all the citizens it picks
Twelve men of all the noblest families,
All men of property and character;
And then some rich men, imitating Hercules,
Select some parasites, not choosing those
Who are the wittiest men, but who know best
How to conciliate men's hearts with flattery;
So that if any one should eat a radish,
Or stinking shad, they'd take their oaths at once
That he had eaten lilies, roses, violets;
And that if any odious smell should rise,
They'd ask where you did get such lovely scents.
So that because these men behave so basely,
That which was used to be accounted honourable,
Is now accounted base.
37. And Axionicus, in his Chalcidian, says--
When first I wish'd to play the parasite
With that Philoxenus, while youth did still
Raise down upon my cheeks, I learnt to bear
Hard blows from fists, and cups and dishes too,
And bones, so great that oftentimes I was
All over wounds; but still it paid me well,
For still the pleasure did exceed the pain.
And even in some sort I did esteem
The whole affair desirable for me.
Is a man quarrelsome, and eager too
To fight with me? I turn myself to him;
And all the blame which he does heap upon me,
I own to be deserved; and am not hurt.
Does any wicked man call himself good?
I praise that man, and earn his gratitude.
To day if I should eat some boilèd fish
I do not mind eating the rest to-morrow.
Such is my nature and my principle.
But Antidotus, in his play which is entitled Protochorus, introduces a
man resembling those who in the Museum of Claudius still practise their
sophistries; whom it is not even creditable to remember; and he
represents him speaking thus--
Stand each one in your place, and listen to me,
Before I write my name, and take my cloak.
If any question should arise to day
About those men who live as parasites,
I have at all times much esteem'd their art,
And from my childhood have inclined to learn it.
38. And among the parasites these men are commemorated by name:
Tithymallus, who is mentioned by Alexis in his Milesian Woman, and in
his Ulysses the Weaver. And in his Olynthians he says--
This is your poor man, O my darling woman;
This is the only class, as men do say,
Who can put death to flight. Accordingly
This Tithymallus does immortal live.
And Dromon in his Psaltria says--
_A._ I was above all things ashamed when I
Found that I was again to have a supper
For which I was to give no contribution.
_B._ A shameful thing, indeed. Still you may see
Our Tithymallus on his way, more red
Than saffron or vermilion; and he blushes,
As you may guess, because he nothing pays.
And Timocles, in his Centaur or Dexamenus, says--
Calling him Tithymallus, parasite.
And in his Caunians he says--
_A._ Will any other thing appear? Be quick,
For Tithymallus has return'd to life,
Who was quite dead, now that he well has boil'd
Eightpennyworth of lupin seed.
_B._ For he
Could not persist in starving himself, but only
In drinking wine at other men's expense.
And in his Epistles he says--
Alas me, how I am in love! ye gods!
Not Tithymallus did so long to eat,
Nor Cormus ever to steal another's cloak,
Nor Nilus to eat cakes, nor Corydus
To exercise his teeth at other's cost.
And Antiphanes says in his Etrurian--
_A._ For he will not assist his friends for nothing.
_B._ You say that Tithymallus will be rich,
For as I understand you, he will get
Sufficient pay, and a collection suitable
From those within whose doors he freely sups.
39. Corydus also was one of the most notorious parasites. And he is
mentioned by Timocles, in his The Man who Rejoices at Misfortunes of
others, thus--
To see a well-stock'd market is a treat
To a rich man, but torture to a poor one.
Accordingly once Corydus, when he
Had got no invitation for the day,
Went to buy something, to take home with him.
And who can cease to laugh at what befel him?--
The man had only fourpence in his purse;
Gazing on tunnies, eels, crabs, rays, anchovies,
He bit his lips till the blood came in vain;
Then going round, "How much is this?" said he--
Then frighten'd at the price, he bought red herrings.
And Alexis, in Demetrius or Philetærus, says--
I fear to look at Corydus in the face,
Seeming so glad to dine with any one;
But I will not deny it; he's the same,
And never yet refused an invitation.
And in his Nurse he says--
This Corydus who has so often practised
His jokes and witticisms, wishes now
To be Blepæus, and he's not far wrong,
For mighty are the riches of Blepæus.
And Cratinus the younger in his Titans says--
Beware of Corydus the wary brassfounder;
Unless you make your mind up long before
To leave him nothing. And I warn you now
Never to eat your fish with such a man
As Corydus; for he's a powerful hand,
Brazen, unwearied, strong as fire itself.
But that Corydus used to cut jokes, and was fond of being laughed at for
them, the same Alexis tells to in his Poets--
I have a great desire to raise a laugh,
And to say witty things, and gain a fame
Second alone to that of Corydus.
And Lynceus the Samian repeats several of his sayings, and asserts that
his proper name was Eucrates. And he writes thus concerning
him--"Eucrates, who was called Corydus, when he was once feasting with
some one whose house was in a very shabby condition, said, 'A man who
sups here ought to hold up the house with his left hand like the
Caryatides.'"
40. But Philoxenus, who was surnamed Pternocopis, when it happened to be
mentioned that thrushes were very dear, and that too while Corydus was
present, who was said formerly to have prostituted himself--"I," said
he, "can recollect when a lark (=korydos=) only cost an obol." (And
Philoxenus too was a parasite, as Axionicus has stated in his
Chalcidian. But the statement is thoroughly proved.) Menander too
mentions him in his Cecryphalus, calling him Pternocopis only. And
Machon the comic writer mentions him.--But Machon was either a
Corinthian or Sicyonian by birth, living, however, in my own city of
Alexandria; and he was the tutor of Aristophanes the grammarian, as far
as comedy went. And he died in Alexandria, and an inscription to the
following effect is placed upon his tomb--
Bring, O light dust, the conqueror's ivy wreath
To Machon, who shall live beyond the tomb,
Machon the comic poet; for you hold
No dirty drone, but you embrace at last
A worthy relic of antique renown
These words from the old bard himself might flow,
City of Cecrops; even by the Nile
Is found at times a plant to all the Muses dear.
And surely this is equivalent to a statement that he was an Alexandrian
by birth. However that may be, Machon mentions Corydus in these terms--
A messmate once ask'd Eucrates (Corydus)
On what terms he and Ptolemy did stand.
I'm sure, said he, I cannot tell myself:
For oft he drenches me like any doctor;
But never gives me solid food to eat.
And Lynceus, in the second book of his treatise on Menander, says the
men who got a reputation for saying witty things were Euclides the son
of Smicrinus, and Philoxenus called Pternocopis. And of them Euclides
did at times say apophthegms not unworthy of being written down and
recollected; but in all other matters he was cold and disagreeable. But
Philoxenus did not particularly excel in short curt sayings, but still
whatever he said, whether in the way of gossip, or of a bitter attack on
any of his companions, or of relation of occurrences, was full of
pleasant and witty conversation. And yet it happened that Euclides was
not very popular, but that Philoxenus was loved and respected by every
one.
41. But Alexis, in his Trophonius, mentions a certain Moschion, a
parasite, calling him "a messmate of every one," and saying--
Then comes Moschion,
Who bears the name of messmate in the world.
And in his Pancratiast, Alexis, giving a regular catalogue of the dinner
hunters, says--
_A._ First then there was Callimedon the crab;
Then Cobion, and Corydus, and Cyrebion,
Scombrus and Semidalis.
_B._ Hercules!
This is a list of dishes, not of guests.[381:1]
But Epicrates was nicknamed Cyrebion, and he was the son-in-law of
Æschines the orator, as Demosthenes tells us in the oration about the
False Embassy. And Anaxandrides, in his Ulysses, mentions such epithets
as these, which the Athenians used to affix to people out of joke;
saying--
For ye are always mocking one another;
I know it well. And if a man be handsome
You call him Holy Marriage . . . .
If a man be a perfect dwarf, a mannikin,
You call him Drop. Is any one a dandy?
He is called Ololus; you know an instance.
Does a man walk about all fat and heavy,
Like Damocles? you call him Gravy Soup.
Does any one love dirt? his name is Dust.
Does any one bedaub his friends with flattery?
They call him Dingey. Does one want a supper?
He is the fasting Cestrinus; and if
One casts one's eye upon a handsome youth,
They dub one Cænus, or The Manager.
Does one in joke convey a lamb away?
They call one Atreus; or a ram? then Phrixus:
Or if you take a fleece, they name you Jason.
42. And he mentions Chærephon the parasite in the passage which precedes
this. But Menander mentions him likewise in the Cecryphalus: and in his
Anger he says--
The man does not differ the least from Chærephon,
Whoever he may be. He once was ask'd to supper
At four o'clock, and so he early rose,
And measuring the shadow on the dial
By the moon's light, he started off and came
To eat his supper at the break of day.
And in his Drunkenness he says--
That witty fellow Chærephon delay'd me,
Saying that he should make a marriage feast
The twenty-second of the month, that then
He might dine with his friends the twenty-fourth,
For that the goddess's affairs were prospering.
And he mentions him also in his Man-woman, or the Cretan. But Timocles
in his Letters mentions him especially as having attached himself as a
parasite to Demotion, who was an intemperate man--
But Demotion was one who spared for nothing,
Thinking his money never could run dry,
But dinners gave to all who liked to come.
And Chærephon, that wretchedest of men,
Treated his house as though it were his own.
And yet is not this a most shameful thing,
To take a branded slave for a parasite?
For he's a perfect clown, and not in want.
And Antiphanes says in his Scythian--
Let us go now to sup, just as we are,
Bearing our torches and our garlands with us;
'Twas thus that Chærephon, when supperless,
Used to manoeuvre for an invitation.
And Timotheus says in his Puppy--
Let us start off to go to supper now,
'Tis one of twenty covers as he told me;
Though Chærephon perhaps may add himself.
43. And Apollodorus the Carystian, in his Priestess, says--
They say that Chærephon all uninvited
Came to the wedding feast of Ophelas,
Thrusting himself in in unheard-of fashion.
For carrying a basket and a garland
When it was dark, he said that he had come
By order of the bride, bringing some birds,
And on this pretext he did get his supper.
And in his Murdered Woman he says--
I Mars invoke, and mighty Victory,
To favour this my expedition.
I also call on Chærephon--but then
He's sure to come, e'en if I call him not.
And Machon the comic writer says--
Once Chærephon a lengthen'd journey took
Out of the city to a wedding feast,
And on his way met Diphilus the poet,
Who greeted him--"Take my advice, O Chærephon,
And fasten four stout nails to your two cheeks;
Lest, while you shake your head in your long journey,
You should put both your jaws quite out of joint.
And in another place he says--
Chærephon once was purchasing some meat,
And when the butcher was by chance, he says,
Cutting him out a joint with too much bone,
He said, O butcher, don't weigh me that bone.
Says he, The meat is sweet, indeed men say
The meat is always sweetest near the bone.
But Chærephon replied, It may be sweet,
But still it weighs much heavier than I like.
And Callimachus attributes to Chærephon a certain treatise, in the list
which he gives, entitled, A Catalogue of all sorts of Things. And he
writes thus:--"Those who have written about feasts:--Chærephon in his
Cyrebion;" and then he quotes the first sentence--"Since you have often
written to me;" and says that the work consisted of three hundred and
seventy-five lines. And that Cyrebion was a parasite has been already
mentioned.
44. Machon also mentions Archephon the parasite, and says--
There was a parasite named Archephon,
Who, having sail'd from Attica to Egypt,
Was ask'd by Ptolemy the king to supper.
Then many kinds of fish which cling to rocks
Were served up, genuine crabs, and dainty limpets;
And last of all appear'd a large round dish
With three boil'd tench of mighty size, at which
The guests all marvell'd; and this Archephon
Ate of the char, and mackerel, and mullets,
Till he could eat no longer; when he never
Had tasted anything before more tender
Than sprats and worthless smelts from the Phalerum;
But from the tench he carefully abstain'd.
And this did seem a most amazing thing,
So that the king inquired of Alcenor,
Whether the man had overlook'd the tench.
The hunchback said; No, quite the contrary,
He was the first to see them, Ptolemy,
But still he will not touch them, for this fish
Is one he holds in awe; and he's afraid
And thinks it quite against his country's rules
That he, while bringing nothing to the feast,
Should dare to eat a fish which has a vote.
45. And Alexis in his Wine-Bibber introduces Stratius the parasite as
grumbling at the man who gives him his dinner, and speaking thus--
I'd better be a parasite of Pegasus,
Or the Boreadæ, or whoever else
Is faster still, than thus to Demeas
Eteobutades, the son of Laches,
For he is not content to walk, but flies.
And a little afterwards he says--
_A._ Oh Stratius, dost thou love me?
_B._ Aye, I do
More than my father, for he does not feed me;
But you do give the best of dinners daily.
_A._ And do you pray the gods that I may live?
_B._ No doubt I do; for how should I myself
Live if misfortune happen'd unto you?
And Axionicus the comic poet, in his Etrurian, mentions Gryllion the
parasite in these words--
They cannot now make the excuse of wine,
As Gryllion was always used to do.
And Aristodemus, in the second book of his Memoranda of Laughable
Things, gives the following list of parasites--Sostratus the parasite of
Antiochus the king, Evagoras the Hunchback, parasite of Demetrius
Poliorcetes, and Phormio parasite of Seleucus. And Lynceus the Samian,
in his Apophthegms, says--"Silanus the Athenian, when Gryllion the
parasite of Menander the satrap was passing by in a superb robe, and
accompanied by a great number of attendants, being asked who he was,
said, "He is a jaw worthy of Menander." But Chærephon the parasite,
coming once to a wedding feast without being invited, and sitting down
the last of all, when the gynæconomi had counted those who were invited,
and desired him to depart as having made the number of guests to exceed
the legitimate number of thirty, said, 'Count us over again, and begin
with me.'"
46. And that it was a custom for the officers called gynæconomi[385:1]
to superintend the banquets, and to examine into the number of those who
had been invited, and see whether it was in accordance with the law, we
may learn from Timocles in his Litigious Man, where he says--
Open the doors at once, that we may be
More in the light against the gynæconomus
Shall enter and begin to count the guests,
As he is bound to do by this new law,
A marvellous statute. It were better far
That he should ask who are without a dinner.
And Menander says in his Cecryphalus--
Knowing that by some new law lately pass'd,
The cooks who minister at marriage feasts
Have given in their names and are enroll'd
In the books of the gynæconomi,
So that they may the number learn of those
Who are invited, lest a man should feast
More than the legal number.
And Philochorus, in the seventh book of his history of the Affairs of
Attica, says--The gynæconomi used, in conjunction with the judges of the
Areopagus, to examine the parties in private houses, and at marriage
feasts, and at all other festivals and sacrifices.
47. And Lynceus records the following sayings of Corydus:--"Once when a
courtesan whose name was Gnome was supping with Corydus, the wine ran
short, on which he desired every one to contribute two obols; and said
that Gnome should contribute whatever the people thought fit. And once
when Polyctor the harp-player was eating lentil porridge, and had got a
stone between his teeth, 'O you unhappy man!' said Corydus, 'even a
lentil strikes you.'" And perhaps he is the same person whom Machon
mentions; for he says--
It seems that once a wretched harp-player,
Being about to build himself a house,
Begg'd of a friend to lend him a few stones;
And many more will I repay, he said,
When I've display'd my art to all the people.
And once, when somebody said to Corydus that he sometimes kissed the
neck, and the breasts, and even the navel (=omphalos=) of his wife,
"That is very wrong," said he; "for even Hercules went from Omphale to
Hebe." And when Phyromachus dipped a piece of bread into some lentil
porridge, and upset the dish, he said that it was right that he should
be fined, because he did not know how to eat properly, though he
professed to. And once, at Ptolemy's table, when a ragout was carried
round to the guests, but was finished before it came to him--"O
Ptolemy," said he, "am I drunk, or am I right in thinking that these
dishes are carried round?" And when Chærephon the parasite said that he
was unable to stand much wine, he rejoined, "No, nor stand what is put
into the wine either." And once, when at some entertainment Chærephon
rose up from supper quite naked--"O Chærephon," said he, "you are just
like a bottle, so that we can see how nearly full you are." And when
Demosthenes received that goblet from Harpalus--"This man," said he,
"who calls other men hard drinkers, has himself swallowed a large cup."
And, as he was in the habit of bringing dirty loaves to supper, once,
when somebody else brought some which were blacker still, he said, "that
he had not brought loaves, but the shades of loaves."
48. And Philoxenus the parasite, who was surnamed Pternocopis, once was
dining with Python, and olives (=elaai=) were put on the table, and
after a little while a dish of fish was brought; and he, striking the
dish, said--
=Mastixen d' elaan.=
And once, at supper, when the man who had invited him had set loaves of
black bread before him, he said; "Do not give me too many, lest you
should darken the room." And Pausimachus said of a certain parasite who
was maintained by an old woman, "That the man who lived with the old
woman fared in exactly the contrary manner to the old woman herself;
for that he was always large." And he is the man of whom Machon writes
in this manner:--
They say that Moschion the water drinker
Once, when he was with friends in the Lyceum,
Seeing a parasite who was used to live
Upon a rich old woman, said to him,
"My friend, your fate is truly marvellous;
For your old dame does give you a big belly."
And the same man, hearing of a parasite who was maintained by an old
woman, and who lived in habits of daily intimacy with her, said--
Nothing is strange henceforth, she brings forth nothing,
But the man daily doth become big-bellied.
And Ptolemy, the son of Agesarchus, a native of Megalopolis, in the
second book of his history of Philopator, says that men to dine with the
king were collected from every city, and that they were called jesters.
49. And Posidonius of Apamea, in the twenty-third book of his histories,
says, "The Celtæ, even when they make war, take about with them
companions to dine with them, whom they call parasites. And these men
celebrate their praises before large companies assembled together, and
also to private individuals who are willing to listen to them: they have
also a description of people called Bards, who make them music; and
these are poets, who recite their praises with songs. And in his
thirty-fourth book, the same writer speaks of a man whose name was
Apollonius, as having been the parasite of Antiochus surnamed Grypus,
king of Syria. And Aristodemus relates that Bithys, the parasite of king
Lysimachus, once, when Lysimachus threw a wooden figure of a scorpion on
his cloak, leaped up in a great fright; but presently, when he perceived
the truth, he said, "I, too, will frighten you, O king!--give me a
talent." For Lysimachus was very stingy. And Agatharchides the Cnidian,
in the twenty-second book of his history of Europe, says that
Anthemocritus the pancratiast was the parasite of Aristomachus, the
tyrant of the Argives.
50. And Timocles has spoken in general terms of parasites in his Boxer,
when he calls them =episitioi= in these words--
You will find here some of the parasites (=episitioi=)
Who eat at other men's tables till they burst,
That you might say they give themselves to athletes
To act as quintain sacks.
And Pherecrates, in his Old Women, says--
_A._ But you, my friend Smicythion, will not
Get your food (=episitizomai=) quicker.
_B._ Who, I pray, is
this?
_A._ I bring this greedy stranger everywhere,
As if he were my hired slave or soldier.
For those men are properly called =episitioi= who do any service for
their keep. Plato says, in the fourth book of his treatise on Politics,
"And the =episitioi= do these things, who do not, as others do, receive
any wages in addition to their food." And Aristophanes says, in his
Storks--
For if you prosecute one wicked man,
Twelve =episitioi= will come against you,
And so defeat you by their evidence.
And Eubulus says, in his Dædalus--
He wishes to remain an =episitios=
Among them, and will never ask for wages.
51. And Diphilus, in his Synoris (and Synoris is the name of a
courtesan), mentioning Euripides (and Euripides is the name given to a
particular throw on the dice), and punning on the name of the poet, says
this at the same time about parasites:--
_A._ You have escaped well from such a throw.
_S._ You are right witty.
_A._ Well, lay down your drachma.
_S._ That has been done: how shall I throw Euripides?
_A._ Euripides will never save a woman.
See you not how he hates them in his tragedies?
But he has always fancied parasites,
And thus he speaks, you'll easily find the place:
"For every rich man who does not feed
At least three men who give no contribution,
Exile deserves and everlasting ruin."
_S._ Where is that passage?
_A._ What is that to you?
'Tis not the play, but the intent that signifies.
And in the amended edition of the same play, speaking of a parasite in a
passion, he says--
Is then the parasite angry? is he furious?
Not he; he only smears with gall the table,
And weans himself like any child from milk.
And immediately afterwards he adds--
_A._ Then you may eat, O parasite.
_B._ Just see
How he disparages that useful skill.
_A._ Well, know you not that all men rank a parasite
Below a harp-player?
And in the play, which is entitled The Parasite, he says--
A surly man should never be a parasite.
52. And Menander, in his Passion, speaking of a friend who had refused
an invitation to a marriage feast, says--
This is to be a real friend: not one
Who asks, What time is dinner? as the rest do.
And, Why should we not all at once sit down?
And fishes for another invitation
To-morrow and next day, and then again
Asks if there's not a funeral feast to follow.
And Alexis in his Orestes, Nicostratus in his Plutus, Menander in his
Drunkenness, and in his Lawgiver, speak in the same way; and Philonides,
in his Buskins, says--
I being abstinent cannot endure
Such things as these.
But there are many other kindred nouns to the noun =parasitos=: there is
=episitos=, which has already been mentioned; and =oikositos=, and
=sitokouros=, and =autositos=; and besides these, there is =kakositos=
and =oligositos=: and Anaxandrides uses the word =oikositos= in his
Huntsmen--
A son who feeds at home (=oikositos=) is a great comfort.
And a man is called =oikositos= who serves the city, not for hire, but
gratis. Antiphanes, in his Scythian, says--
The =oikositos= quickly doth become
A regular attendant at th' assembly.
And Menander says, in his Ring--
We found a bridegroom willing to keep house (=oikositos=)
At his own charges, for no dowry seeking.
And in his Harp-player he says--
You do not get your hearers there for nothing (=oikositous=).