Well, talk, if you like; I suppose it's your way;
Each citizen, surely, should say all his say;
_I_ did just so, when I'd nothing to do;
And if _I_ felt like doing so, why shouldn't _you_!
It's republican, pleasant, and safe, to find fault;
If a man can't do _that_, why he's not worth his salt.
And never, since critics (and fleas) learned their powers,
Was a country more blest with such vermin than ours.
You've learned much about your old friend, it is said;
The farther I'm from you, the plainer I'm read!
When "one of the people" comes here to make laws,
The "people" disown him. Now, what is the cause?
You say I'm not "dignified." Well, friends--are you?
My language, my manners, are rough, it is true;
My tones, and my jokes, (since you say it,) are coarse;
But very few streams rise above their own source.
If we're all "politicians," and they are such trash
As you have declared them, why were you so rash
As to give us your votes? What! will nobody "run"
But a "mere politician?" Why, then we're undone!
Come, come--this is nonsense! Be fair, my good sirs!
Let us look at this question. Suppose it occurs
That a long, prosy speech is about to be made;
If you say, "Stay and hear it," must you be obeyed?
But ours is a "serious business." True!
And so are some other things serious, too!
Such as courtships, and dinners, and headaches, and blues,
And sight-seeing friends, whom 'tis death[1] to refuse!
Now, many of us (though it should not be said!)
Are really stupid, and haven't much head.
We don't take that view of our duty that _you_ do;
We're often so bothered we don't know what _to_ do!
Our votes look decided--as though we did know;
But that's because BUTLER or SCHENCK voted so.
Such points may come up, in the course of the day,
As would puzzle the Seraphim some, I should say!
Besides, gentle friends! did you ever think so?
Perhaps we are paying you all that we owe.
If you want better service, why send better men,
And be better yourselves. It will all be right, then.
[Footnote 1: Political death, of course.]
* * * * *
Come on, Ladies!
An Anti-mustache movement has begun in Boston. PUNCHINELLO to explain
that it begins altogether with the ladies, and is, of course, Right
Against the mustaches.
* * * * *
For Lunatics Only.
The latest whim of the Lunatics in one of the Indiana Asylums is the
notion that they can design and build opera-houses. Well, we have lots
of crazy architecture, and more than one gentleman has acknowledged
himself insane for investing in opera-houses. But PUNCHINELLO thinks
that the tastes of the insane would be better encouraged if directed to
the building of Courts of Justice. Every Court-house thus constructed,
would be a monument to the Plea of Insanity.
* * * * *