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[Illustration: =A GERMAN INVASION.=
HERR NOAH (_to Frau Noah_). "HERE WE ARE AGAIN--JUST AS IF NOTHING HAD
HAPPENED!"]
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=ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.=
_Monday, November 22nd._--Fortunately or unfortunately, according to
one's point of view, this deponent was not a spectator of the fight in
the House of Commons this afternoon, having been himself previously
knocked out by a catarrhal microbe possessing, as the sporting
journals say, "a remarkable punch." He therefore gives the fracas an
honourable miss.
The Tariff Reformers were horrified to hear from Sir ROBERT HORNE that
nearly four hundred thousand pounds' worth of clocks had been imported
from Germany this year. They were quite under the impression that when
we wound up the Watch on the Rhine clocks were included.
They were still more surprised to learn that without further
legislation it is impossible for British parents, when purchasing toys
for their children, to be sure that they are not the productions of
our late enemies. It would appear that the famous label, "Made
in Germany," which did so much to advertise the products of the
Fatherland before the War, has now outlived its usefulness; but the
goods are coming along just the same.
[Illustration: A LECTURE TO THE UPPER SCHOOL. LORD BIRKENHEAD.]
_Tuesday, November 23rd._--Lord BIRKENHEAD'S complete recovery from
his recent ear-trouble was attested by the ease and mastery of his
speech in moving the Second Reading of the Government of Ireland Bill.
Some men in this situation might have been a little embarrassed by
their past. But Sir EDWARD CARSON'S erstwhile "galloper" neither
forgot nor apologised for his daring feats of horsemanship, and
triumphantly produced a letter from his former chief assuring "my dear
Lord Chancellor" that "Ulster" had come round to the view that "the
best and only solution of the question is to accept the present Bill
and to endeavour to work it loyally."
For the rest he minimised the temporary partition of Ireland and laid
stress on the ultimate union to be effected by the Council of Ireland;
magnified the financial advantages--seven millions is the sum he
reckons Southern Ireland will ultimately have to play with--and hinted
that they might be further stretched "if peace were offered to us by
any body which was qualified to speak for Irish opinion."
For a time little encouragement came from the Irish Peers. Lord
DUNRAVEN moved the rejection of the Bill, on the ground that there
could never be permanent peace in Ireland until moderate opinion was
behind the law, and that moderate opinion would not be satisfied
without full financial control. Lord WILLOUGHBY DE BROKE spoke as an
unrepentant Unionist, and Lord CLANWILLIAM bluntly declared that the
Irish were one of those peoples who were unfit to govern themselves
and who had got to be governed.
[Illustration: "The balance step without advancing." LORD HALDANE.]
The Duke of ABERCORN, as an Ulsterman, supported the Bill, and Lord
HALDANE gave an elegant exhibition of the military exercise known as
"the balance step without advancing." It was not the Bill he
would have drafted, and the Government must pass it on their own
responsibility. Still he thought it should be given a chance.
In the Commons Sir ARCHIBALD WILLIAMSON gave an account of the
remarkable transmigrations of the Egyptian G.H.Q., which within a few
weeks was located at the Savoy Hotel, the Abbassiah Barracks and the
Eden Hotel. "Each move was made from motives of economy." Sir ALFRED
MOND is understood to be most anxious to know how this game is played.
He can manage the first moves all right, but never achieves a winning
position.
_Wednesday, November 24th._--Those who were fortunate enough to hear
Viscount GREY'S speech on the Government of Ireland Bill speak of
it as on a par with that which he delivered as the spokesman of the
nation on August 3rd, 1914. To me it did not appear quite so plain and
coherent; but who can be plain and coherent about the Irish Question?
Lord GREY thinks, for example, that if the Government made a more
liberal offer to Nationalist Ireland the pressure of moderate opinion
would put an end to murders and outrages. But how would that moderate
opinion be able to overcome the terrorism of the secret societies,
which, as Lord BRYCE told the Peers, have dogged every Irish patriotic
movement since the eighteenth century and which will admit no
compromise with the hated invader?
The debate was neatly summarised by Lord RIBBLESDALE, who said, "We
are all Home Rulers, but each of us thinks the other fellow's brand is
wrong."
The state of Ireland was at that moment being debated in the Commons,
when Mr. ASQUITH found himself saddled with the introduction of a
motion which, while nominally blaming the Irish Executive, really
accused the soldiers and police of attacking the lives and property of
innocent people. The awkwardness of the situation was reflected in the
terms of his indictment. At one moment the charge was that houses and
creameries were destroyed "without discrimination" between innocent
and guilty; at the next the House was asked to note "overwhelming
evidence of organisation." His only suggestion for a remedy was that
we should get into touch with "the real opinion of the great bulk of
the Irish people," but he did not indicate how it was to be done or
what the opinion would be when you got to it.
Sir HAMAR GREENWOOD is quite clear that you won't get to it until you
have crushed the murder-gang which is terrorising the great mass of
the Southern Irish people, not excluding "the intellectual leaders of
Sinn Fein."
Colonel JOHN WARD cleverly remodelled the resolution into a vote of
thanks to the servants of the Crown in Ireland for their courage and
devotion, and this was eventually adopted by 303 votes to 83.
_Thursday, November 25th._--For the first time in its history the
House of Lords gave a Second Reading to a Home Rule Bill for Ireland.
Up to the very last the issue was in doubt, for Lord MIDLETON'S motion
that the debate should be adjourned for a fortnight, in order that
a more generous financial scheme might be produced, attracted two
classes of Peers--those who are resigned to Home Rule, but want a
better brand, and those who won't have it at any price or in any
shape.
On the steps of the Throne sat the PRIME MINISTER, whose humility in
going no higher will doubtless receive favourable comment in Welsh
pulpits. He was accompanied--I will not say shepherded--by Sir HAMAR
GREENWOOD and Sir EDWARD CARSON. What signals, if any, passed between
this triumvirate and the Woolsack I cannot say, but the fact remains
that, after a brief chat with the LORD CHANCELLOR, Lord CURZON came
down heavily against the motion. An adjournment would be useless
unless it produced peace. But could Lord MIDLETON guarantee that even
the most complete fiscal autonomy would satisfy Sinn Fein? If later
on, when the Irish Parliaments were in operation, a demand came from a
united Ireland, the Government would give it friendly consideration.
Lord MIDLETON'S motion having been rejected by eighty-six votes, and
Lord DUNRAVEN'S by ninety, the Second Reading was agreed to without a
division.
[Illustration: _Lord Curzon._ "Lord WILLOUGHBY DE BROKE still remained
a magnificent relic of the Old Guard."]
In the Commons a final attempt to defeat the Agricultural Bill was
made by the Farmers' Party. Mr. COURTHOPE declared that the Bill
would produce only doubt and uncertainty, whereas the farmer needed
confidence, a plant of slow growth (as we know on the authority of
another statesman), which would not flourish under bureaucratic
supervision. Sir F. BANBURY said the measure must end in
nationalisation, and he would prefer nationalisation--_cum_ proper
compensation, of course--straight away. The surprising statement by
a Labour Member, that the farmers had subsidised the nation to the
extent of forty millions a year by selling at less than world-prices,
may have helped to placate their champions, who had not quite realised
what generous fellows they were, for only a dozen stalwarts carried
their protest into the Division Lobby.
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"Learn to be independent of domestics. In four months I undertake
to train any young girl of good family, and willing to learn, as a
thoroughly competent and economical Plain Cook. Live in as one of
family. Three maids kept. Mrs. ----."--_Church Times._
The advertiser seems to fight shy of her own medicine.
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