THE ONLY WAY OUT
The ladies, pleading fatigue after their long day, retired early,
bringing a somewhat oppressive evening to a timely conclusion. Dinner
had been a constrained function, for Miss Beverley's aloofness had cast
a gloom upon the spirits of her _fiance_, and the rest of us had joined
with him in a sort of sympathetic melancholy. In the drawing-room
afterwards Mr. Crick, whose ebullient soul chafed beneath what he termed
"compulsory hump," sat down at the piano and treated us to a musical
sketch,--something humorous but lingering. Whereupon Lady Adela awoke
out of her sleep, and with a disregard for the performer's feeling that
was almost indecent, cut short the entertainment and shepherded her
flock to the upper regions.
The four gentlemen adjourned to the billiard-room. Here Mr. Mainwaring
and Crick set about a game of billiards--fifty up--at which the latter,
with a loftiness of spirit which his subsequent performance entirely
failed to justify, insisted upon conceding his elderly opponent
twenty-five points. Aided by this generous subsidy and by the fact that
the scratch player, in bringing off some delicate long shots into the
top pocket, more than once omitted the formality of glancing off one of
the other balls on the way, our host made quite surprising progress.
His own contributions to the score were mainly derived from a monotonous
but profitable system of potting the white and leaving his opponent a
double balk. Indeed, the old gentleman reached his points before Mr.
Crick had accomplished a feat vaguely described by himself as "getting
the strength of the table." Mr. Mainwaring then trotted happily
upstairs to bed, followed very shortly afterwards by his highly incensed
play-fellow.
As the door closed, Dicky put down his pipe and turned to me.
"Bill, old man," he said, "I don't often face facts; but this time I
admit that I have fairly torn the end off things."
"You are in disgrace, my boy," I agreed. "What are you going to do about
it?"
Dicky pondered, and finally summed up.
"The fact is," he said, "I am not up to Hilda's standard, and never
shall be."
I rose, and took my stand upon that tribunal beloved of the Briton--the
hearthrug--and looked down upon my friend's troubled countenance.
"Dicky," I began, having blown my nose nervously, "you and I don't
usually go deeply into these matters together; but--do you love that
girl?"
We two regarded one another deliberately for a minute, and then Dicky
shook his head.
"I do not," he said at last. "Not more, that is, than I love half a
dozen others. I suppose the truth is," he continued, relighting his
pipe, "that I don't quite realise the meaning of the word--yet. Some
day, perhaps, the big thing will come to me; but until it does and wipes
out everything else, I shall go on imagining, as at present, that I am
in love with every girl who happens to attract me or whom I happen to
attract--if such a thing is possible. Nature, I suppose--just Nature!
Just now I am making the instinctive involuntary experiments that every
man must make, and go on making, until he encounters his right mate.
Some men, I imagine, are luckier than others. They are not inflammable.
They do not make false starts or get down blind alleys. I believe you
are one, Tiny, but there are not many. With women, I believe, it is
different. They have more intuition than men, and can tell almost
immediately whether they have found the goods this time or not. But the
average man must just go blundering on, making an ass of himself, and
learning by experience. I fall into love readily enough, but have never
been able to stay there. That is my trouble. I am therefore forced to
the conclusion that I have never really been in love at all."
"That is because you have never met _the_ girl, Freak."
"Possibly; but there is another explanation, and that is that I am
incapable of a sustained affection under any circumstances whatever.
However, you may take it from me that such is not the case. I _know_
that. I can't explain it or prove it, but I know it. What I really
want--but I have n't met one so far--is a girl who will fall in love
with me, and _show_ it--show that she is willing to burn her boats for
me. A good many young women, estimable creatures, have indicated that
they care for me a little, but not one has done it in the way I have
described. I don't believe that I could ever really throw myself
absolutely headlong into love with a girl unless I knew in my heart that
she was prepared to do the same for me. They are all so cautious, so
self-contained, so blooming independent, nowadays, that a man simply
cannot let himself go on one of them for fear she should turn round and
laugh at him. But if a girl once confided to me that she wanted to
entrust herself to me--body and soul, for better, for worse, and so
on--without any present-day stipulations about maintaining her
independence and preserving her individuality, and stuff of that
kind--well, good-bye to all indecision or uncertainty on my part! What
man who called himself a man could resist such an appeal as that--a
genuine whole-hearted appeal from weakness to strength? (Not that I am
exactly a model of strength," he commented, with a disarming smile; "but
I know I soon should be, if such an honour were done me.) Weakness to
strength! That's what it comes to in the end, old man, whatever the
modern advanced female may say. Male and female created He them--eh?
When I do meet that girl--perhaps she is the girl the old gipsy foretold
for me to-day--I shall love her, and slave for her, and fight for her,
so long as we both live, just because she is so utterly dependent on me.
That is what brings out the best in a man. Unfortunately, I have not
yet met her. When I do you may take it from me that I shall cease to be
a Freak. Amen! Here endeth the First Lesson. There will be no
collection."
His discourse thus characteristically concluded, my friend sat silent
and pensive.
This was quite a new Dicky to me.
"You appear to have studied the question deeply and scientifically," I
said, frankly impressed.
"My lad," replied Dicky with feeling, "if you possessed a disposition as
flighty as mine--"
"Quixotic," I amended.
"All right--as quixotic as mine, and were also blessed with a dear old
mother who spent her life confronting you with attractive young women
with a view to matrimony, you would begin to study the question deeply
and scientifically too. I am only a Freak, and all that, but I don't
want to make a mess of a girl's life if I can help it; and that, old
friend, owing to my susceptible nature and gentle maternal pressure from
the rear, is exactly what I am in great danger of doing. I have had to
mark time pretty resolutely of late, I can tell you. And that brings us
to the matter in hand. Hilda and I seem to have reached the end of our
tether. Something has got to be done."
"It is just possible," I said, "that Miss Beverley has done it already."
"What?"
"It--the only thing that ought to be done."
"What do you mean?"
"When the others went upstairs to bed Miss Hilda retired into an inner
drawing-room and sat down at a writing-table. There is no post out of
here until lunch-time to-morrow. Therefore she was probably writing to
some one in the house."
Dicky nodded comprehendingly.
"Proceed, Sherlock," he said.
"To whom was she writing?" I enquired.
Dicky thought.
"To me," he announced at length. "Economical hobby. No stamps
required. Well?"
"Supposing," I continued, "that Miss Beverley has been writing to you
to-night--what then?"
"I shall receive a letter from her in the morning," concluded Dicky.
"Eh? Wrong answer? Sorry! What will happen, then?"
"You will get your letter to-night."
Dicky looked doubtful.
"Where? When?" he asked.
"That's it. Where and when?"
Dicky pondered.
"On my pin-cushion, when I go upstairs to bed," he said at
last--"although it strikes me as a most unmaidenly action for Hilda."
"So unmaidenly," I replied, "that you will probably find the letter on
the hall table by your candle. Come and see."
My faith in Miss Beverley's sense of propriety was fully justified, for
we found the letter in the hall beside the candlesticks exactly as I had
foretold. Probably it had not lain there more than five minutes.
"What do you think of that?" I enquired.
"By Heavens, Holmes," exclaimed Dicky, who after his late lofty flight
had characteristically relapsed into one of his most imbecile moods,
"this is wonderful!"
We bore the letter back to the billiard-room.
"Four sheets!" murmured The Freak dejectedly. "Well, the longer I look
at them the less I shall like them. Here goes!"
He began to unfold the crackling document.
"What is that protuberance down there, between your finger and thumb?" I
enquired. "It may epitomise the letter for you."
Dicky turned the envelope upside down, and shook it over the
billiard-table. Something fell out, rolled a short distance, and lay
sparkling and shimmering on the green cloth.
Dicky picked up the ring very slowly, and regarded it long and intently.
Then he turned to me.
"Thank God!" he said, softly and quite reverently; and I knew he spoke
less for himself than for a certain superior young woman upstairs, who
considered him flippant, lacking in depth, and altogether unworthy of
her.