THE FIRST STEP INTO CANAAN
Cecilia stood in her bedroom in the new house. The paper in her
bedroom was pink and hung in panels. At the top of each panel was a
hip-diseased, and goitered cupid, who threw roses around,--roses that
looked like frozen cabbages, and stuck in the air as if they'd been
glued there. Father Madden had picked out the paper as a surprise
for Celie. When she had seen it she had gasped and then kissed him
very hard. He had said, "There, Celie, I knew you'd like it."
After he had gone Cecilia had looked around and said, "Oh, dear--Oh,
dear!" Roses always had made her sick, and even to Cecilia, the
paper was "pretty bad." And Cecilia had kissed him hard and said she
loved it.
Some one tapped on the door.
"Come," said Cecilia.
"Father McGowan's down," said Norah with a point of her finger over
her left shoulder. "An' the man's down with doughnuts, too." Cecilia
laughed. Norah's mode of announcement always made people sound
diseased. Cecilia had a mental picture of a man in the throes of
doughnuts--with them breaking out all over his person.
"You can take a dozen and a half," said Cecilia, referring to the
doughnut-man, "because Johnny likes them so."
Norah didn't move, but stood in the doorway surveying the tumbled
room. A trunk stood in the centre, lid thrown back. From it exuded
frills and tails. The bed was piled high with more frilly garb.
Norah sniffed loudly. Suddenly, there were sobs and then she
dissolved into many tears. "I dunno how we can do without yuh!" she
explained in gulps. "Me, and Johnny and your paw. Aw, _Celie_!"
Cecilia put her arms around the troubled Norah. She looked very near
tears herself.
"I would rather stay with you, but maw wanted me learned to be a
lady," she said. Her chin set. "I gotta do it," she added. "Paw
promised her." Norah sniffed and took the apron from her face. "I
know yuh gotta, dearie," she answered. Celie put her arms around the
damp Norah. "Norah," she said, "you will be very good to Johnny and
paw? When Johnny wants paw to wear collars all the time, you take
him out and give him doughnuts to divert him, will yuh?" Norah
nodded. She was sniffing again.
"And, Norah," went on Celie, "don't let the new cook use the blue
glass butter dish everyday."
"N-no, dearie," answered Norah. She still stood irresolute by the
door. "Celie," she said, "when they learn yuh to be a lady, don't
let 'em learn yuh not to love us."
"I'll _always_ love you all," answered Cecilia. Her eyes filled with
tears, and she kissed Norah.
Downstairs Father McGowan sat looking at a gilt cabinet decorated
with forget-me-nots, and a variety of chrysanthemums never seen on
sea or land. On the top shelf of the cabinet was a brick, lying on a
red velvet bed. Father McGowan smiled and then sobered. He
remembered a night three years past when he had pointed out
possibilities to Jeremiah Madden, possibilities in the manufacture of
the humble brick. The possibilities had amounted to more than even
he had anticipated. Sometimes he questioned what he had done....
His hope lay in Cecilia. The boy, he was afraid, would not be helped
by money. Perhaps he'd turn out well. Father McGowan hoped so.
He'd bet on Cecilia anyway. She'd use money in the right way in a
few more years.
There was a rustle at the door. Cecilia, in a new gown bought to
wear at the "swell school," came in.
"Father McGowan, dear!" she said.
"Cecilia Madden, dear!" he answered. They both laughed, and then
settled.
"Have you come to tell me to be a good girl at the swell school?" she
questioned. The father was silent. He was looking at Cecilia's
dress. The dress was of purple silk with a green velvet vest. There
were ribbons looped carelessly on its gorgeousness too.
"Little Celie," said Father McGowan, "I want to tell you things and I
can't. Now if you had a mother! Sometimes women do come in handy."
Cecilia nodded.
"I want to tell you," said Father McGowan, looking hard at the brick,
"not to be hurt if at first the girls are stand-offish like. That's
their way."
"Oh, no," said Cecilia. "I won't be, but I think they'll be nice.
Mrs. De Pui says they're all of the best families with wonderful home
advantages."
"Hum--" grunted Father McGowan. He did not seem much impressed. He
still gave the brick his undivided attention. "And," he went on, "if
you should get lonely, remember that there's one Lady you can always
tell your troubles to. She won't laugh, and she always listens."
"Oh, _yes_!" said Cecilia, and she crossed herself.
Father McGowan drew a long breath. "Now," he said, "remember that if
your clothes are different from theirs that your father has plenty of
money to buy new ones for you. Remember that. A penance is all
right, but not at fourteen."
"Why, my clothes are beautiful!" said Cecilia. She looked
bewildered. "They're all silk and lace and velvet, and I haven't a
low heeled pair of shoes. _French_ heels, Father McGowan, dear!"
"Cecilia Madden, dear," said Father McGowan. His look was
inscrutable. He laid a hand on her hair. His touch was very gentle.
"Most of all," he said, "remember never to be ashamed of your people,
and always to love them. Love those who love you. Reason the truth
out in your heart, and don't accept the standards of little Miss
Millionairess, because she is that. Understand?"
"Yes," replied Cecilia, "I understand, but Father McGowan, I would
always love paw. Wearing shoes and collars in the house is just the
trimmings," she stated bravely. "His heart is genteel."
"Saint Cecilia!" said Father McGowan in a low voice, and then he
muttered a few words in Latin. Cecilia did not understand them, but
she bowed her head and crossed herself, and felt strong.
After Father McGowan left she stood in front of a mirror admiring a
purple silk dress with green velvet trimmings. "Holy Mary," she said
with quickly closed eyes, "help me not to be too stuck on my
clothes!" When she opened her eyes she looked into the mirror. "Oh,
it's grand!" she whispered. "I am almost pretty in it!" She drew a
long, shaking breath.
The room in which Cecilia waited, while not at all like her home,
impressed her. Most of the furniture looked old, and some of it
showed a cracking veneer. The clock especially needed repair. It
was a grandfather one, and had inlaid figures of white wood on the
dark. Cecilia wondered vaguely if it couldn't be repaired and shone
up? Dilapidated as she thought the furnishing, yet it left an
impress. Two girls entered the room, they looked at Cecilia and
tried not to smile. Cecilia wondered uncomfortably if her hat were
on crooked, or whether her red silk petticoat hung out.
They selected books from a low case with leisure, then left. Outside
the door Cecilia heard them giggle. One of them said, "Some one's
cook."
"Every one has trouble with cooks," thought Cecilia. Then she looked
down and forgot cooks. Her shoes were so beautiful! Pointed toes
and high of heels. And her suit now, all over braid and buttons,
with a touch of red here and there!
Even those giggling girls must have been impressed. Their clothes
had been so plain. Cecilia pitied them. She decided to give them a
"tasty" hair-ribbon now and then.... The waiting was so long. She
wished Mrs. De Pui would come. She thought of paw and Johnny and her
eyes filled with hot tears.
"Oh," she thought miserably, "if Johnny just won't reform paw!
People are so happy when they aren't reforming or being reformed!"
Again she saw the station at which she'd started for Boston, her
father and Johnny both sniffing. She was so glad she hadn't cried.
She had so wanted to! Her breath caught in her throat. "Please,
Gawd," she made mental appeal, "make them learn me to be a lady
quick!"
Weren't they _ever_ coming?
The shabby clock tick-tick-ticked. The sun lowered and made more
slanting rays on the floor. A maid, very smart in uniform, came in.
She gave Cecilia a guilty look, then said: "This way. Mrs. De Pui
will see you upstairs."
"Yes, ma'am," answered Cecilia. She followed humbly. The maid
decided that her forgetfulness hadn't made much difference. She
didn't think that _that_ would report her.... Cecilia went upstairs
after the slender black figure. Her heart beat sickeningly. There
were voices from the door at which the maid paused. Cecilia saw some
girls sitting around a table at which a white-haired woman was
pouring tea.
"Oh," said Cecilia impulsively, "I'm interrupting yuh at yer supper."
"No," answered Mrs. De Pui, faintly smiling; "come in. You are
Cecilia?"
Cecilia nodded. Somehow the sobs that had been kept in all day,
were, at the first kind voice, very near the surface. The girls
smiled at each other. Cecilia wondered about her hat, or perhaps her
petticoat hung out below her skirt? Mrs. De Pui motioned her to a
chair.
"Annette," she said, "give our new friend some tea."
"How do you take your tea?" questioned Annette crisply.
"Milk," answered Cecilia, "an' sugar if yuh have it." She reddened.
Of course they would have it. She wished she hadn't said that! She
stared in acute embarrassment at her feet. Some one gave her a cup
of tea, some one else a sandwich. She dipped it in the tea, then she
remembered that that was not proper and reddened again. At that move
the young person called Annette had suddenly choked and held her
handkerchief over her mouth. The other girls looked into their cups,
with the corners of their lips twitching.
A fat and dumpy-looking girl seated a little out of the group looked
at Cecilia with sympathy. Mrs. De Pui spoke of a recent exhibition
of water colours, with her well-bred tones trickling over the
inanities she uttered, and making them sound like a reflection of
thought.... Even the sun looked cold to Cecilia.
"I wish I was back in the flat," she thought, and then: "I wonder if
I can bear it!"